Sex Drive??

[blisteringspeed]

OK i'm hoping someone can help me out here. My wife(shes 30) and I have had 2 kids(youngest is 2 1/2) and her sex drive is in the dumps! I would say she initiates sex about 1 time a month. Although she will have sex with me most of the time it would be nice if she was as into it as I am. Before kids it was like every other day and now....*sigh*...

Is there anything she can take OTC that will up her sex drive? I feel like giving her some test. (kidding).

What is the deal with it anyway? Does a womens sexdrive just drop off after kids? or what? Too much estrogen? what the hell is going on here?

Thanks all...oh by the way.. nice board, think I will come back here often.

 

[bunnymt]

OK. There could be a couple of reasons for your wife's lack of interest in sex, well, more than a couple, actually:

1. She could be tired and busy (if she cares for the kids and works at the same time)
2. She could be not happy about the way that her body looks (THIS IS A BIG BIG FACTOR) after the children.
3. She might view other things as more important now (like the children and other responsibilities you two might now have)
4. There could be a medical issue (though not too likely)

My suggestions would be to first off talk to her about it. That is the only way to find out how she feels. YOu have to do that first. Suggest ways to help out the situation: spice it up a bit in the bedroom, tell her you like the way she looks (sadly, even if you dont'...lol) to make her feel more comfortable with herself.

You have to first find out how she feels in order to decide what approach to take to solve the problem.

bunny

 

[blisteringspeed]

OK. There could be a couple of reasons for your wife's lack of interest in sex, well, more than a couple, actually:

1. She could be tired and busy (if she cares for the kids and works at the same time)
2. She could be not happy about the way that her body looks (THIS IS A BIG BIG FACTOR) after the children.
3. She might view other things as more important now (like the children and other responsibilities you two might now have)
4. There could be a medical issue (though not too likely)

My suggestions would be to first off talk to her about it. That is the only way to find out how she feels. YOu have to do that first. Suggest ways to help out the situation: spice it up a bit in the bedroom, tell her you like the way she looks (sadly, even if you dont'...lol) to make her feel more comfortable with herself.

You have to first find out how she feels in order to decide what approach to take to solve the problem.

bunny

Thanks for the fast response!

Your right on some of what youve suggested. she is tired and busy with the kids alot. shes not all that happy with here body, but she really looks great! for having 2 kids, just some minor stubborn fat or lose skin on her midsection, other than that she is very fit and tight, works out 5 days a week. We have talked about it and she just says "im not sure why I just dont have much of an interest most of the time". Thats why I thought it may just be some kind of hormonal inbalance and was thinking some type of herb or vitamin might help.

 

[bunnymt]

Get her down to the Between the Sheets area and let Kronkette talk to her. She will get her going.

AGREED. I have to say that some of Kronkette's posts are very steamy and sensual. YUM. Have her read those...or just watch lots of porn together. There are two more remedies.

bunny

 

[Test boy]

Watching porn is a great way to get in the mood.

Porn....I love it and I hate it.

 

[bunnymt]

Watching porn is a great way to get in the mood.

Porn....I love it and I hate it.

Porn and I have a love/ love relationship....no hate.

 

[Test boy]

Porn and I have a love/ love relationship....no hate.

Let me explain...i hate it because I enjoy it too much. Too much of anything is scary.

Saps my energy also.

 

[bunnymt]

i feel the same way!!!!

This thread is taking a turn to the "dark side.." anyway, I am SUCH a voyeur, it is not even funny. Porn always does it for me...can always get me in the mood, no matter what! (my boyfriend, thus, keeps lots of it around! lol)

bunny

 

[blisteringspeed]

i feel the same way!!!!

Why couldnt I have a women like kronkette!!! Dam I would be in the bedroom alot.

I took your advice bunny and went to read some of her posts...OUCH! yum yum...she kinda made my mouth water...I do need to get my wife to read those.

 

[toga22]

A supplement to make your wife in the mood, eh?

Well, there are so-called vitamins out there....how effective they are...this I do not know.....for many of them the main ingredients being ginkgo biboba and ephedrine.

Most likely your wife is probably a bit stressed out and overtired, which will make her less interested in having sex. She probably does not feel as sexy as she used to after having kids...and needs some help from you to get back into the swing of things. Get a babysitter and plan a night out...for just the two of you to do something that you both enjoy.
Take her home and sedude her....and make her feel sexy...maybe pick up a little something from Victoria's Secret...and a "few toys" to start the festivities in the right direction .....

Good Luck and Have fun!!

~toga

 

[blisteringspeed]

BUMP

 

[Test boy]

I was feeling light headed one day and purchased 26 dildos and vibrators. They are all unused and I will seel the lot for $300. A smokin deal.

Just trying out 26 different sex toys should provide endless hours of entertainment.

 

[Temple]

I am a mother of 2, my son is almost 20 and my daughter is 8. I firmly believe that there is something hormonal that happens to a woman for several years after giving birth. Everything that has already been said also contributes to this. You joked about giving her some test and I really don't think it would be out of line for her to see her doctor. Many are becoming more progressive in their thinking as to women and sex drive issues and he may give her something to help.
The upside is that when the children are older and the sex drive returns it will be better than it ever was before.

 

[blisteringspeed]

I am a mother of 2, my son is almost 20 and my daughter is 8. I firmly believe that there is something hormonal that happens to a woman for several years after giving birth. Everything that has already been said also contributes to this. You joked about giving her some test and I really don't think it would be out of line for her to see her doctor. Many are becoming more progressive in their thinking as to women and sex drive issues and he may give her something to help.
The upside is that when the children are older and the sex drive returns it will be better than it ever was before.

So is there a way to offset this hormonal thing that happens?

I hope I dont have to wait that long for it to return..

 

[manny78]

Get her down to the Between the Sheets area and let Kronkette talk to her. She will get her going.

I think that bunnymt hit most of it on the head, but trust me you can turn it around However, she has to WANT to do it.

I would say that you communicating things to her in a positive way should be first on your list. Having an open communication line in the bedroom is key.

Have fun and hang tough, she just needs a kickstart. That kind of stuff happens after kids, marriage etc.

moved. Take care of it.

 

[Temple]

Nobody should wait that long for it to return. That is why I recommend that she see her ob/gyn and be brutally honest about the situation and that it is unacceptable. He may presribe some androgel or something else that will help.

 

[luvs2workout]

funny,,,I was just talking about this subject w/one of my girlfriends earlier......I would agree it is mostly harmonal.....Harmones play a bigger role than you would imagine....send her to the doc - let him fix it...no woman in her 30's shouldnt be enjoying the hell outta sex!!!!!!

I always had a lower sex drive right after having kids and it takes a while to get them back to normal...but if your youngest is 2 then she should be more than ready to fuck your brains out more than once a month....be patient w/her and realize that its kinda out of her control

 

[luvs2workout]

Watching porn is a great way to get in the mood.

Porn....I love it and I hate it.

Can someone give me some sugesstions..... spent an hour in the store trying to decide just what to buy - there are way too many to choose from!!! Spent 50 on a DVD that sucks ass! Looks like it was made in the 80's - girl has hair down to her legs..Yuck!

Gimme some good suggesstions - anything but bondage and guy on guy