Racoon Bites off Pervert's Penis

[stosstruppe]

Austrian Times – Home > Around the World > Raccoon bites off perverts penis

A raccoon has bitten off a pervert's penis as he was trying to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified animal.

"When I saw the raccoon I thought I'd have some fun," he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

"He's been told they can get things working again but they can't sew back on what the raccoon bit off.

"That's gone forever so there isn't going to be much for them to work with," said one friend.

 

[Cardinal Slin]

Dude, why you searchin for animal sex?

 

[stosstruppe]

Dude, why you searchin for animal sex?

I needed to pass the time somehow while my gay disabled midget porn channel was on the blink.

 

[Smurfy]

Next time he should try to rape a tree. it wont bite back

 

[Cardinal Slin]

Next time he should try to rape a tree. it wont bite back

or a water mellon - it's softer and cooler than a tree

 

[stosstruppe]

or a water mellon - it's softer and cooler than a tree

Yea, and you totally wouldn't have to worry about getting splinters in your baw sack as well.

 

[Smurfy]

or a water mellon - it's softer and cooler than a tree

Now you're talkin!

 

[walliwalibus]

Yes indeed hell yeah, fuck that watermelon all to hell.

 

[musclemom]

Y'know, all I can think is "well, that's one way mother nature can stop idiots from breeding."

Good for the raccoon.

 

[BBR100]

Next time he should try to rape a tree. it wont bite back

bark can't be worse than his bite kinda thing? a tree