orgasm question....

[oicu812 - chargeback]

I have already made a post on the elite b/w sheets board but i really don't think i will get as knowledable info as i would here.. i have been contemplating on posting it here because i thought it might not belong here but i am about to lose sanity...
so enough of that and straight to the problem....
i've made a few previous post stating some of my problems and about my doctor putting me on test cyp-50mg eow-... i am 22 and NEVER had a orgasm... and like i said before - i am about to lose sanity!!!! i have been taking the test for a month now and i can tell that it has increased my libido tremendously... i am curious if anyone has any input or advice on this subject... PLEASE

 

[starfish]

Do you have a guy who knows what he is doing???

Hmmm.... www.goodvibes.com to try on your own

Play around a little and RELAX.

 

[Temple]

I hope the powers that be will allow this to stay here as it takes a good bit of courage to ask for help with something like this. As charming as those other boards are I agree that the quality and the sincerity of the advice that she will get here will probably help her and possibly someone else who has a similar problem but is afraid to ask. We can do this in pm if y'all don't think we should do it here.

Okay, hun....
Is it that you have never had an orgasm or you have never had one with a man?

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

i understand if this does not belong here but i posted elsewhere and i started getting offers... and that's NOT what i need or want...

star: i have an excellent boyfriend.. he's a dream come true!!! caring, sensative-- he's perfect-- and yes-- he knows what he's doing!!!

temple: never had a orgasm.. period.. at all...

i am just searching to see if anyone else might have/or know someone who has the same problem.. that's all.. and might know any info on this...
i am not trying to stir up anything... i did lots of searches and research on this before i asked... because i am VERY shy...
i plan on going to the doctor again, as soon as my insurance grace period is over...
i am just anxious

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

pm's are fine ... i just want some info if there is any out here...

 

[Gladiola]

When I first started having sex & messing around, I hadn't for several years either.

Until I tried the showerhead. Try that, trust me - buy one.

I was not able to have one on my own without it until I first had one with my current boyfriend - he is the only man who ever made it happen for me. Once I had one WITH him, I then learned to have them on my own (um, without the shower head).

My guess is that the average doc won't have much insight, I would try to read all you can on your own unless you're lucky enough to have access to an actually sex therapist. So far as I've read, there aren't many physical problems that could be the cause.

But try the shower head first!

 

[Temple]

I trust that if a mod has a problem with this being here they will let us know. I can think of one mod in particular that will most likely be a big help so......

I had always been able to get there on my own but my husband is the only man who could do it for me (reason #1 that I married him). It is one of those things that the more you do it the easier it will become and most of it has little to do with physically but mentally. The test should help you with this in a big way. Have you tried any of the vibrators at all. In the beginning you will find that BOB (battery operated boy) may be your best friend. There are many places online that you can order them from. Also if you worry about it happening I can promise you that it won't - I know that is easier said than done. If you can find some time for yourself where you have total privacy, take a warm bath and relax and spend some time touching yourself experimenting with what feels good and what feels even better. Allow your mind to wander a bit, find a fantasy that really does it for you. Approach it from the standpoint that you are not trying to have an orgasm but rather finding what feels good.

 

[Gladiola]

Also if you worry about it happening I can promise you that it won't - I know that is easier said than done.

Great advice - as usual!!

I second the above. For me, it happened when he woke me up in the middle of the night. I suppose I was still half asleep & all the uptight/worrying parts of me were still sleeping & silent & BANG!

I started crying out of shock & relief. Yeah, strange, but he wasn't surprised either. It was a LOT of years, more than a few boyfriends, & I had kinda resigned to myself that it would NEVER happen.

Try porn too if you like it (sometimes my mind is lazy about fantasizing on my own - it's easier to work with a visual) - I recommend Peter North - he's pretty cute (lots of fat old disguesting trolls with giant C@#%'s in porn! he's one who's actually something to look at!) Kazaa is great for downloading stuff - if you're not on dial up.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Being relaxed is I think the key to coming. Because of that, I second the advice to try it on your own. But I am not a fan of vibrators. I have heard good things about these shower heads Gladiola is talking about from friends. I know where you're coming from, Oicu, I had resigned myself to being one of those women who is just incapable of orgasming, too, and that all changed this summer. See what worked for me was phone sex with my boyfriend. He just started talking dirty to me and telling me how to make things feel good, and after a couple tries, voila! Orgasm.
I think the reason it worked for me was a) The Fantasy Aspect b) The comfort level of not having to impress anyone or worry about if i looked ok, etc. being alone (though still on the phone with him) made me a lot more relaxed. c) I didnt know how pleasure myself until he literally told me how to.
Hope this helps...

 

[new@gettinbig]

Well it takes guts to post something like this......but its good you are trying to find a solution. I think a woman has to first be confident in herself...and explore herself....find out what makes you tick..find your spots and go from there...you need to be able to satisfy yourself...vibrators are GREAT..they come in all different shapes and sizes......get one and start playin around...I agree w/ the shower thing...or just the bath in general..get a nice hot bubble bath...candles and turn the lights off and relax...relax your mind...you trying so hard to figure out why you arent having one..or trying so hard to have one..really could be your problem in itself....I also think the guy has a lot to do w/ it..Ive been w/ some that could not do a DAMN thing for me...and i just waited for them to finish..the guy has to WANT to please you....take his time w/ you and get into you getting off....That makes all the difference in the world...so that could be some of it too...you may love him to death but some are just not compatible in bed..no chemistry...the test should help A LOT!!! Take advantage of it and get some good porn movies out...get some magazines...lotions and oils..massages are nice...I could go on and on...find out what turns you on....

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

thanks for the advice!!!!!
i have heard of alot but never a shower head.. that's new to me!!

 

[The_Monster]

Here it is in a nutshell (heh heh, no pun intended... but still ). And you dont need to answer this or you can answer in a PM if you feel the need. Take it from me, I am on a position to know the answers to thses types of questions...

Ok, here we go.
First, forget about having a man that is "good". It doesnt matter one bit if he is good, great or wonderful, that is completly beside the point and pretty much irrelevant.
Which brings us to the heart of the story. One question. Do you masturbate? If not you should.
If you dont know how to make yourself have an orgasm, no man no matter how good he might be will be able to. He might get luck now and then but it will not be something you can rely on.
You need to know how to please yourself before anyone else can please you.

It doesnt happen overnight, but it can and will happen, it takes practice just like anything else. Dont let any doctor bullshit you into anything, there is no medical reason not to have an orgasm, it is something that is learned. Some girls start to "explore" themselves very young, and they inadvertantly learn this skill early on. Others never do.
Wife 2 taught wife 1 how to do it. I tried to tell her this same advice for years, but I guess she didnt trust it coming from a man? Now she is learning to please herself, and it makes the entire sexual experiance more gratifiying for her.
The same goes for increasing a persons sexuality/libido.

Heres what you do (if I might be so bold as to say).
#1. your boyfriend must have NO part in this. Not watching, not listening, not even in the same house if it can be avoided. (I dont know your circumstances) I dont mean it should be a "secret", because one of the things we want to do is erase the stigma around masturbation and sexuality.

#2. youll need to figure out what works best for you. Everyone is different. Mabye a showerhead, mabye not. Think about buying a vibrator or two (the wives have probobly 20 or more between them), I can suggest the best ones so you dont waste your money if thats a route you want to take (you should).
Some women prefer only clitoral stimulation, some like penetration, some like both at the same time (wife one likes only clitoral, wife 2 NEEDS both). Just figure out what works best for you.

#3. Make a commitment to set aside some time every day or every other day to "practice". If you need something like erotic stories, pictures, pornography, whatever, then have it available when you need it. (dont even think of being ashamed. If you knew what some of the members on this board were into youd fall over from shock... but its all good )

#4. during this "practice" time have all the things you need available and find a quiet private place to be. Somewhere where you dont need to worry about someone barging in. Shut the ringer on the phone off... prepare yourself to be totally relaxed.

Then do it. Get a feel for your body, how you feel, what feels good to you, let your imagination run wild and just enjoy yourself. If you dont have an orgasm the first session, dont be discouraged, it isnt neccesarily an overnight thing. It takes time.

My first breakthrough with wife 1 was years ago, and it went kind of backwards. I knew she had a hard time having an orgasm, so I introduced her to sex toys. I discovered she needed the vibrator AND... hmm... Im trying to think of a proper term, but I guess the only one is "dildo"? After a long while she had an easier time acheiving an orgasm, but still a hard time.
Thats when wife 2 convinced her to masturbate and learn to orgasm. (wife 2 can orgasm within probobly 5 minutes of starting intercourse and can have multiples... so shes the one to trust )
Since then wife 1 can actually have an orgasm through intercourse and has had several from oral. So trust me, this technique works. Wife 1 had dome the whole doctor thing to try and find out what was wrong, and they ran the whole gamut from hormonal imbalance to a dozen other maladies.

Most people are so pent up from living daily life that they never really relax and learn to enjoy themselves. When you couple that with the stigmas attached to sex in our culture, its a wonder anyone even bothers to have sex at all?

So try it. Get comfortable and let loose, think every nasty thought youve ever wanted to think, fantasize, get kinky... unlease your inner slut!

Im tired right now, so if Ive been unclear or anything, or if you want to ask something ans arent comfortable asking on here, just PM me or email me. Ive been with someone in the exact same situation youre in. I know how she felt, and I know what youre going through, so trust in my experiance and the experiance of two women who have let go of their preconcieved notions about sex.

(I hope this doesnt go to the other board. I think it would be trivialized over there...)

 

[starfish]

I disagree about the man part, it was the exact opposite for me. Everyone is different so just learn to relax and explore different things and you will get there

 

[Temple]

When I very first saw this thread I somehow knew that the best and most thorough answer would come from no less that MONSTER. Think you should post the "Monster's guide to the best and worst sex toy's of 2002". I also agree that a bit of alcohol (just a bit) can take the edge off.

A coupld of other things that I wanted to add - the smallest things can keep you from being relaxed enough. For me the TV in the bedroom has to be OFF - I know it sounds strange but there is just something about it that messes with me. The fear of someone walking in is another - everything was fine for us until our daughter got a bit older and all of a sudden I was uptight, it finally came down to the fact that we did not have a lock on the bedroom door and I was worrying about her walking in on us (it took a good deal of thought to fiigure that out). It took my husband no time at all to have a deadbolt on that baby - end of problem.

The other thing that has not been mentioned here and I think it is important is that I have yet to talk to a woman that engages in anal stimulation that does not get off from it. I am not talking full fledged anal sex right out the gate as that is something that needs to be worked up to and there is a good guide on the Sheets board for it. It is something that you may want to explore.

When it comes time to add the boyfriend into this keep in mind that he may be perfect and caring and wonderful but tht does not necessarily mean that he will instinctively know how to get you off. You will probably need to teach him and that requires total honesty. I know there is a girfriend somewhere in my husband's past that I really need to send flowers and a thank-you card to.

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

Monster: you know, whenever i got brave enough to post this-- i had this thought in the back of my head that if anyone would have great input on this that it would be you!!!because you have two ladies yourself.. i figured you'd have to have knowledge on this!!! THANKS so much for the info!!!! ( note: i went internet shopping the other night and purchased sex toys, know i am sitting at the door waiting... lol)

Temple & Star : thanks so much...it's great to get info from other women

 

[Realgains]

sista there are quite a few women that need direct clit stimutaion with a finger during intercourse in order to reach orgasm and I don't care how good he is with his member. Also has your man used the tongue? This always works...really If he doesn't do it then he is an ass

 

[Gladiola]

sista there are quite a few women that need direct clit stimutaion with a finger during intercourse in order to reach orgasm

"Quite a few" - I always had the impression the vast majority needed clit stimulation??? I actually thought the strictly vaginal orgasm was a rarity.

 

[Realgains]

"Quite a few" - I always had the impression the vast majority needed clit stimulation??? I actually thought the strictly vaginal orgasm was a rarity.

I think the figure is around 30 % need direct stimulation ALL THE TIME in order to reach orgasm. But I would agree that most women..perhaps close to 100%.. need direct stimulation frequently enough for it to be a must need tool in the bedroom.
fact is we men aren't as good as we think

 

[Gladiola]

fact is we men aren't as good as we think

I dunno, I disagree there. I don't think the reason women can't usually climax from intercourse alone is b/c men 'aren't good enough'. It's just the way our bodies are made! Heck, when you think about it, how sensitive SHOULD that part of the body be that's really built for a baby to come OUT? Just philosophizing on female anatomy....

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Realgains, Doll, actually the figure you meant was that only 30% of women can come WITHOUT clitoral stimulation. I also disagree with monster that the man shouldnt be there. I still think you should have him on the phone or next to you telling you how to pleasure yourself if you dont know. I really didnt know what to do until he started telling me. Now, Monster, what is this multiple wife situation??? Are you a Mormon? Do your wives get with eachother, like is this one of those relationships where its one big orgy? Or do you own a harem or something? Why are they into being one of many? Do they each have like 3 husbands too?

 

[Temple]

VLC - damn girl, that sounded a bit judgemental. If you read Monster's post further down on the page I think you will see that while the relationship may be a little unconventional it is based on a love and commitment that all of us in conventional relationships would be lucky to have. Far be it from me to rag on somebody because they have found love no matter what form it may come in.

 

[The_Monster]

VLC: Teaching someone to know their own body cant be done with someone else. If he is telling her what to do then he is telling her what HE wants to see her do, NOT hwat she is feeling and responding to. This is a clinically proven method for increasing orgasmic response and Masters and Johnson has the papers on it to back that up. Its not meant to be kinky sex or a new horizon on the sexual experiance, it is supposed to be one person getting to know their body and understand their own pleasure.

As long as the man is present it becomes little more than the woman attempting to please the man in an different way. Partners enjoying sex toys is a fun way to enhance sex, but that is not the point of this. It is simply to teach her how to please herself so she will know how someone else can please her.
You cant tell someone how to please themself. You may get off by having a man tell you "do this and do that" but that is not the same thing. She is in need of a learning experiance in sexual gratification, not an instructional course in "how he wants her to do it".

Let me ask this. What kind of person are you inside?

When you answer, do you look inside of yourself and examine yourself to see what kind of person you are? Or do you go and ask someone "Hey, what kind of person am I?". Its the same thing...

I wont dignify your idiotic comments, as they werent meant to actually be questions, just veiled insults. But your comments on the thread make it very clear what type of person you are...

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Sorry Monster, and Temple. I did not mean for my questions to be rude or judgemental. Nowhere in that post did I say I disapproved of how you live. I'm an athiest and I'm certainly no absolutist about morality. I'm just curious about how this whole thing works out, and I'm blunt about things. Maybe so blunt that I'm not tactful. Sorry if I offended either of you. Again, I don't disapprove, I'm not judging. I just don't get how it works.
ABout the guy being involved, I do disagree with you, and you don't need to put me down for it. I did discover what felt good from my boyfriend's ideas. That IS what worked for me. I was very naive about how to do things, and he helped me figure out what felt good. I'm not saying that this works for everyone. Being in the odd situation that you are, I think you ought to respect that what works for you or your wives is not what works for everyone. It was pretty messed up for you to be so judgemental, to assume that because I like having my boyfriend involved, I measure my self worth or construct my identity only through him. I think you ought to apologize for that comment.

 

[Bikini Mod]

OK flamefest over!...

VLC dear not tryin' to tear you a new one but your comments DID come across as judgemental at worst and belittling at least (whatever, it is late and I am tired from work so you ALL know what I meant).

How old are you? (Not being judgemental just asking a question).

I have reached the point of orgasm from a kiss... yes, a kiss. (Only happened once with the current hunny... but who knows what the future holds?! LOL)

Can I get off without clitoral stimulation? What do yall think? But even though I am practically at the brink of orgasm during THE ENTIRE time that I and my hunny are going at it, I seldom climax more than twice... but when I get there he has to get off of me and I lay there literally wrything. I don't know if I could say that it is one big looooooong orgasm or just a whole bunch of consecutives, but either way I am in sensory overload to say the least. I have always had a very satisfying sex life (or so I thought) until I met this man. Now could I say that he can take ALL the credit? NO. I would even say that had I met him when I was ten years younger I would not be able to experience the pleasure I do now as I am becoming more free with my body and desire to experiencie it more with the passage of time (not that anyone could ever say that I was truly sexually repressed, still there were many things that I would NEVER even entertain doing a mere ten years ago that I AM DYING to experience now heheheheee).

I have NEVER condemned my children masturbating. Hell, we are practically born with AT LEAST ONE hand on our "thingamajiggies" (as I have recently discovered my girls call there "little man in the boat" - LOL!). I just always told my children that when they were done, to come out of their rooms and wash their hands. I never EVER want them to think that ANY aspect of their bodies or their sexuality is evil or dirty... Sex is an amazing gift to be shared between two mature adults. But as it is said about the emotion, so I believe it to hold true about the physical aspect of love... "How can you love someone else before you learn to love yourself?!"

My mother was VERY repressed and though I fought many of her ideas about sex, still MANY ideas lingered for MANY years... THANK GOD I got over them! Believe it or not, MANY of the sexual experiences that I have and desire to explore came from reading many of the posts on the between the sheets board here at elite.

Do you think a woman could EVER tell me how to give a good blow job?! I thought not. So then how could A MAN tell ME how to properly pleasure MYSELF?!..... makes no sense whatsoever.

As for my "skillz". I was never much for felatio as my ex never cared too much for lickin the kitty (actually made me paranoid that I smelled or tasted bad!... until I tasted myself recently and realize SHIT! My kitty is SWEET!). So unless I woke up really horny and wanted sex - I would pass on the BJ's. If he wasn't eating me, then why should I extend myself?! In contrast my current hunny is the most giving man that I have EVER met - in many ways and this extends to the boudior.... There is NOTHING that I wouldn't do to please him. Funny thing - it seems he derives the most pleasure from pleasing me!... Actually he told me, "Darlin' don't EVER question your skill in THAT department" (THANK YOU ELITE BETWEEN THE SHEETS! hehehehehhe)

As for me being "all that"... naaaaaaah, I ain't all that, but I intend to spend much of my very near future (if I am very lucky, who knows?) trying to achieve "all that" status in this arena as the hunny CERTAINLY IS.... heheheheheee

Having said all of this VLC, I am curious... could you describe what an orgasm feels like. (Not a quiz, just curious).

 

[starfish]

Glad the flame fest is over...

I don't really think there is ONE way.. So to say one is better ridiculous..

I'm perfectly free with my body- but to have the big "O" with a shower massage does NOTHING for me. But some girls love it.
It would have made me nothing but frustrated.. It's just not what gets me going


I think when the time is right and you relax and play around with different things, it will just happen..

Learn to relax and you can wake up from having one in your sleep

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Wow. So much for an end to the flame fest. So, because I questioned having multiple wives, which is definitely questionable (not like this is a legal or common situation in the US), you all think I'm evil and judgmental.

Now, Bmom, I'm not that naive. If that question wasn't a quiz, I don't know why you'd ask. Sounds like you know quite well exactly how an orgasm feels.

 

[starfish]

VLC,

I understand where you are cumming from...

HAHA!! I made a joke out of it

 

[The_Monster]

Ive been around too long and done too much to get bent out of shape by words Consider it dropped VLC. If you actually are interested, look at the "Prodigal Son (of a b***h)" thread. It explains my situation.

There isnt on way that will work for everyone (of course). But judging from what oicu has said AND the way she has phrased things, the solo way is the way she'll se success. Some women require the validation of a man in their life, and dont feel complete without that (and men of women...). Many women are like that, and I guess there isnt anything too wrong with it, but self reliance is preferable.
I dont look down on anyone who is that way, because our phalocentric society still (albeit covertly) pushes gender roles. The glass ceiling is still firmly in place, female promiscuity is still "wrong" while male promiscuity is still a "status" symbol, the working mother is still seen as having her career at the expense of her family, and men are still viewed as needing to be the bread winner. It takes a lot of deprogramming to break that cycle, and it is NOT for everyone!

I stand 100% behind the statement that if you dont know how to please yourself, you will not be able to reliably have someone else please you.
Having the man there creates the erotic addition of preforming for him (which is good dont get me wrong!), but it isnt a true journey into discovering yourself. It may lead to an orgasm from the thrill of being watched, but that additional thrill is getting away from the purpose of what is trying to be accomplished.

To further illustrate, I make this point. Why is it that people in a happy, fulfilled relationship still masturbate?
The sorry story of days gone was that it was done because the persons partner couldnt satisfy them. Much like the crazy story that floats around "man world" regarding dildos... "Dont ever let a woman youre with have a dildo. She'll like it better than you and fall in love with it."
One has nothing to do with the other. Masturbation is not a commentary on the sexual ability of ones partner. It gets down to sexual release, and the fact that no one knows how to do you like YOU! A guy who's good for 45-60 minutes of intercourse can get himself off by masturbating in probobly 5 or 10 minutes...

I hate to beat that point to death, really I do. I also hate to sound like some sort of male-feminist, but it just grates on me to see women "need" men to solve their problems (ok, and vice-versa I guess ). But then again, I am well know for being mentally imbalanced!

 

[Gladiola]

I stand 100% behind the statement that if you dont know how to please yourself, you will not be able to reliably have someone else please you.

This may indeed be true 99.9999% of the time... but I am also another 'outlier'. Your statement is just not true ALL of the time for EVERYBODY. My boyfriend made me cum & THEN I learned to do it myself (without the shower). I feel like everyone isn't acknowledging that this situation is even possible. IT IS possible, really!

Maybe it's not the ideal way for things to happen, but it's POSSIBLE & that's how it happened for me.

Although even my boyfriend has always said, & still says, "Who wants to mess around with a girl that's afraid of her own kitty? How can I please you if you don't know how to please yourself?" He still has that opinion on the issue, but somehow he managed it!!!!

 

[Temple]

Back to the subject at hand (pun intended). I do not see how anyone could understand the full range of their sexuality without masturbation. Masturbation and sex with a partner are IMO almost like two totally different things. If they weren't married people wouldn't masturbate or we would all be so fulfilled on our own that there would be no need for a partner. Is it possibly to achieve orgasm with a partner without ever having masturbated - absolutely. But, if there is difficulty with orgasm the easiest and fastest way to achieve it is thru masturbation. Masturbation will also improve your responsiveness when you are with a partner.

Going back to the original post on this thread tells me that the boyfriend route for whatever reason is not working for her. At some point I believe that it will but the problem has to be solved in a pressure free environment. When a partner is involved there is a certain amount of pressure.

Every once in awhile a girl gets lucky and runs across a guy that just happens to do all the right things. You can spend years trying to find the one who's technique just happens to match up to your responses or you can figure out what your responses are and teach the one that you've got how to do it.

BMom brought up what I think is another very good point in that sexuality and responsivness change dramatically with age. Early in my marriage I was gratefull that I was getting off. Now that I am older my attitude is more "I'm here for the orgasm". I find it very interesting that men are raised to expect an orgasm from sex, for them without the orgasm it would be pretty much pointless. Women on the other hand do not seem to get that attitude until they are older if ever. I could be wrong but I'll bet that statistically young males spend more time masturbating than do young females - could there be a correlation?????

 

[Temple]

Oicu - one other thing, have they checked your test levels since they put you on the cyp? Personally, I would not settle for just being brought into the normal range, I would tell my doc that I wanted to be at the top end of normal.

 

[starfish]

LOL. I don't know if any of that was directed at me but I don't need a man for the big "O", and just because that is how you got there the first time doesn't mean that either..

My first post gave her a website where she could buy toys galore LOL.....


My boyfriend just happenned to get me there and then I ventured off in other ways...It is very possible.

Pleaseeeeeeeeee

 

[Temple]

There are many generalized statments being made on this thread that I can promise are not being directed at anyone in particular.

 

[starfish]

HAHAHA! I don't need a man to solve my problems **cough**Monster **cough.

Just because he was there does not mean that either.. In fact the idea that he was there, shows how comfortable a girl can be with her body. LOL

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

temple: i have not had them checked again.. i am still waiting for the insurance to send me my approval letter... but when that happens... i am thinking that it would be benefial to see what they are...

star: i went shopping the other night on the net... now i am just waiting.. impatiently...lol

 

[Temple]

This is or has been a very productive thread and I DO NOT want to see it locked. I went back and reread what Monster said and it seems to me that you are taking it out of context - he applied it to men as well. Why the hell is everyone getting in a big huff because Monster firmly believes that a woman should masturbate? Seems to me to be a pretty refreshing position coming from a man as most of them are offended at the mere thought that they can't or don't fulfill their woman's every need.

 

[starfish]

What Monster is saying is saying is a refreshing position, I just disagree with the way he is saying it. This is a discussion board and I can disagree, can't I..

Monster stands 100% by what he said but obviously, that didn't work for three other people here..

I like his views, just to bad he can't see others are JUST as good..
Or is it a popularity contest around here?? I honestly don't know sometimes..


Anywho,

OICU812, -I'm GLAD I could help you out..
Enjoy the toys Heehee!!!Hee Hee!!

Just relax and play around and it will happen when it's right for you and your body. Also, keep up with the medical part.

Good Luck

 

[Gladiola]

Why the hell is everyone getting in a big huff because Monster firmly believes that a woman should masturbate?

I wouldn't say I'm in a huff, but I do feel that ppl (Monster included) are saying Masturbation is the ONLY & IDEAL way to reach the big O for the first time in your life. I agree with him it's ideal, actually, but I disagree that it's impossible otherwise.

The primary reason I'm posting anything at all is b/c I WAS TOLD FOR YEARS masturbate, masturbate, masturbate..... When I still couldn't make it happen for myself I felt even worse than before - like something was wrong with me not only cuz I couldn't cum, but also cuz I couldn't make it happen for myself. I felt bad - like a loser.

I guess just saying over & over & over "Make it happen for yourself & ONLY YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN" would put even MORE stress & guilt or shame on a person. Like if a woman can make it happen for herself & she isn't, then it's HER FAULT. Maybe? I think that's why I want to stress that masturbation isn't the only possible way.

Starfish, when you wrote, "I don't know if any of that was directed at me" were you referring to my post? I'm confused.

 

[Temple]

Gladiola - I think what is happening here (and it happens often on this board_ is that when a subject is being debated folks have a tendency to take the things the opposing view says personally. I have said it before and will say it again - I think we benefit the most when there are two sides to a debate and each side argues theri position to the dying end as long as nothing that is said even if sarcastically is taken personally. I could just as easily be on the opposite side of this from Monster - I have been there before and we have both been pretty blunt in what we said to each other but we are still friends, we simply disagree.

The principals that apply to bodybuilding apply here - If it ain't working for you then for godsakes change it and if it is working for you then keep doing it until it stops.

 

[starfish]

Gladiola,

To answer your question, I was not referring to you. I COMPLETELY agree with you.. I don't know what people do to get another post to copy in my post. Sorry if I confused you.

 

[Gladiola]

Gladiola - I think what is happening here (and it happens often on this board_ is that when a subject is being debated folks have a tendency to take the things the opposing view says personally.

Oh, that is not really the case with me. I posted about how I USED TO FEEL years ago when OTHER ppl would say that to me. I just feared that oicu (or anyone reading with the same problem) might have been left feeling bad & guilty the way that I had been. That was my concern.

If it ain't working for you then for godsakes change it and if it is working for you then keep doing it until it stops.

Right! Exactly! & try masturbation first & foremost & if it doesn't work for you & continues to not work for you - don't emotionally beat yourself up - try something else in addition!

Hey Starfish - there's a little "Quote" button at the bottom of the post.

 

[starfish]

Oh, that is not really the case with me. I posted about how I USED TO FEEL years ago when OTHER ppl would say that to me. I just feared that oicu (or anyone reading with the same problem) might have been left feeling bad & guilty the way that I had been. That was my concern.


Right! Exactly! & try masturbation first & foremost & if it doesn't work for you & continues to not work for you - don't emotionally beat yourself up - try something else in addition!

Hey Starfish - there's a little "Quote" button at the bottom of the post.

DUH!!! LOL!!! Now you all know I'm a blond

 

[Bikini Mod]

OK OK.... let us just agree to disagree. Me, personally my FIRST Orgasm WAS REACHED WHEN I WAS HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH A BOYFRIEND. I was 18 and still remember it like it was yesterday - LOL! He didn't "TEACH" me or "SHOW" me how to get off... it just happened that way. And I NEVER had a problem reaching orgasm after that. But NOW (a few years later - heheheh) I can honestly say that sex is A GAZILLION TIMES BETTER because I am sooooooo much free-er with my body and my views towards sex in general. If somebody had told me THEN what I KNOW NOW... I would have been like, "Yea right, whatever " So yall see my point? I ASSURE YOU - I DO UNDERSTAND YOURS because I have experienced what you are saying.....

There is no right or wrong here.

As for my question about what an orgasm feels like, it was NOT AT ALL MEANT TO BE CONDESCENDING. I was basing it ON MY OWN EXPERIENCE! Believe it or not - THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT AN ORGASM IS! I myself, WAS NEAR SHOCK when it DID happen to me! The big "O" was never fully explained to me and sex always felt good before I actually had one, but it WAS NOTHING compared to actually having an orgasm. For men it is so much more obvious, whereas with females.... IT IS NOT! (Beleive it or not, the first boy I was ever with consentually HAD NOT EVER HAD AN ORGASM... either that, or he didn't know what one was! He was 19, I was like 16 - FAR TOO YOUNG IMHO. After we had sex I asked him the clique, "Did you come?".... didn't even know what that meant, but I felt obligated to say it.... needing to be validated I guess... needed to be told that I "did it right". His reply: "I don't know.... did you?")

Now can you see why I asked this question VLC? Not singling you out per se... I just wanted to know if you could describe one. If one had one (even if they DIDN'T know what it was at the time) they would STILL be able to describe it - VERY EASILY. If not, then it can NOT be described as they have never had the physical sensation......

There is NO POPULARITY contest here.... just mature adults openly discussing subjects that are still (VERY SADLY) taboo for many. How can we learn if we do not disagree, debate and openly discuss?

I am THE FIRST to admit that there is STILL SO MUCH that I have and want to learn.... it matters not to me what the source: an older adult, a peer, a teen or a child - I can learn something FROM EVERYONE and I hope that this holds true until the day I die.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Bmom,
I'm very familiar with how good an orgasm feels. Don't worry, I really have had the experience. I had it a couple times last night, actually. If I had to describe it I would say it depends, because sometimes you have a big one and sometimes its smaller. Generally, its like a big release to the tension that gets built up, goes all through your body, kind of a tingle, kind of a rush, a little bit like the feeling ecstasy gives you. And the feeling afterwards is lovely. Very soothing. Like ahhhhhhhhhh.

Sex doesn't do it for me, yet. Only I really do it for me (but still, not by myself, only with my bf around to listen).

 

[Bikini Mod]

Heheheheheee no, no you misunderstand the question and that is my fault. I didn't phrase it correctly. Whether you have A REALLLL BIG ONE, a teeny-weeny one - or anything in between - the PHYSICAL SENSATION is STILL THE SAME.

Kind of like throwing up; whether you have dry heaves or vomit gallons of stuff: chunks of undigested food or bile alone or anything in between - WHAT PHYSICALLY HAPPENS IN YOUR BODY IS STILL THE SAME.

So let me ask again. (Not doubting that you have had one or a gazillion of 'em and I would've had one last night too... but I was too damned tired after work to get the old pump in my forearms... heheheheheee)

Please describe clinically or should I say physically what happens in the human female body when an orgasm occurs. No need for big words, it is really very simple.

Whether it is an orgasm or vomitting - good, bad or indifferent.

(Please don't feel that I am singling you out... even though it may seem that way.)

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

I told you I've had an orgasm before. That wasn't good enough for you. So I just answered your question in DETAIL. And that wasn't good enough either. I'm not a doctor so I don't know technical physiological explanations for the process of female orgasm. I'm not going to justify my answers to you again. I'm getting really annoyed with this, Bmom. Why aren't you asking the same of everyone whose boyfriend made them come, or who are within the 18-25 age range?

 

[TEXgrl]

LMFAO lobo!!!

 

[Bikini Mod]

Lobo YOU KILL ME!

VLC - I am sorry that you are getting annoyed, that was not my intention. But I must humbly disagree. You DID NOT tell me what an orgasm was. All you told me was HOW GOOD IT FELT. You don't need to be a doctor to describe vomitting, so you don't NEED to be a doctor to describe the physical mechanincs of an orgasm.

I am not questioning that YOU HAVE HAD ONE or A GAZILLION orgasms. Neither am I questioning how good or bad it felt. I am only asking if you can tell me what happens in one's body when they orgasm. It is very simple. No need for big words or which gland is responsible for releasing which hormone, etc, etc. You could be FIVE THOUSAND YEARS OLD and you would be no MORE OR LESS qualified to be able to describe what happens in one's body.

Please don't feel picked on and I am truly sorry if you feel this to be the case. I was only asking you this because you happened to be the one who said that you are not being harsh or judgemental that you are only honest to the point of being blunt. It is because YOU DESCRIBED YOURSELF in this fashion that I thought it would be ok to approach you in the same fashion.

 

[liltyson19]

oicu812, I never have either: age 21

I have never had an orgasm with a man through intercourse. I think I had one or came close when he went down on me but that is it. Everyone I know has had one and I feel like some thing is wrong with me.

 

[Temple]

I do not think it is uncommon for women in their early 20's to have never had an orgasm with a man - I was 25 before it happened with me. By myself was no problem. Girl's/Women, ahhhh to be that young again (not). I don't think there is anything wrong with you. The problem is that young women tend to sit around yakkin' about having the BIG O with the stud du'jour when the reality is that I'm guessing 90% if not more are wondering what is wrong with them as well.

As some of you know I am old but I remember 20 years ago very clearly and I don't think that damn much has changed. The problem is that most men in their late teens and early 20's don't have a clue as to how to satisfy a woman. Even the ones that try are pretty inept and usually women of that age are not confident enough to tell them what they need and how they need it. Without going into the details of life in my early 20's let's just say that the research I conducted in this area would have made one hell of a gallup poll. I also believe that as a woman ages her physiological responses change or perhaps it is what is between her ears that change. If a man has ever been with a woman that truly has an orgasm I don't know how a woman could fake it with him after that and get away with it.

I think this thread has given alot in the way of ideas to get everyone who it is not happening for on the road to making it happen - everyone is different. Stressing over it will guarantee that it won't happen.

And finally, I want everyone to know that for the FIRST time Lobo has left me speechless. All I want to know baby is - was it as good for her as it was for you?

 

[Bikini Mod]

I am almost afraid to resurrect this thread as it seems that so many people got their underoos in a bind over conflicting points of view... If you all will read I STATED that my first orgasm was with my first real serious longterm boyfriend and that when it happened I had NO CLUE what was going on AT ALL!.... just knew that I wanted to DO IT AGAIN! (And have been chasing the BIG O ever since I am afraid - LOL!!!). There was with no specific clitoral stimulation or masturbation involved. Just plain old missionary sex.

I am STILL waiting for someone (now I will take the answer from ANY female BELOW the age of 25) to TELL ME SPECIFICALLY WHAT HAPPENS PHYSICALLY IN A WOMAN'S BODY WHEN SHE IS CLIMAXING. Don't need to know how GOOD it felt (that is WHOLELY irrelevant, but I do agree, a WONDERFUL BIPRODUCT). Just want to know what happens.

Can anybody tell me?

 

[starfish]

Orgasm is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that produce intensely pleasurable sensations followed by rapid relaxation. It typically lasts for several seconds. Orgasm is also in part a psychological experience of pleasure and abandon, when the mind is focused solely on the personal experience. It is sometimes called climaxing or coming.
In Masters and Johnson's original research of the human sexual response cycle , orgasm is the third of four stages, occurring after the plateau phase and before the resolution phase. Another widely accepted model of the sexual response cycle, developed by Helen Singer Kaplan, M.D., PhD., involves just three stages: desire, excitement and orgasm.

Orgasms vary from person to person and for each individual at different times. Sometimes orgasm is an explosive, amazing rush of sensations, while others are milder, subtler, and less intense. The differences in intensity of orgasms can be attributed to physical factors, such as fatigue and length of time since last orgasm, as well as to a wide range of psychosocial factors, including mood, relation to partner, activity, expectations, and feelings about the experience.

There are several physiological components of orgasm. First, orgasm is a total body response, not just a pelvic event. Brain wave patterns have shown distinct changes during orgasm, and muscles in many different areas of the body contract during this phase of sexual response. Some people experience the involuntary contraction of facial muscles resulting in what looks like a grimace or an expression of discomfort or displeasure, but it is actually an indication of high sexual arousal.

The most characteristic physical feature of orgasm is the sensation produced by the simultaneous rhythmic contractions of the pubococcygeus muscle (pc muscle). Along with contractions of the anal sphincter, rectum and perineum, the uterus and outer third of the vagina (the orgasmic platform) for women, and the ejaculatory ducts and muscles around the penis for men, this constitutes the reflex of orgasm. The first few contractions are intense and close together, occurring at about 0.8-second intervals. As orgasm continues, the contractions diminish in intensity and duration and occur at less frequent intervals.

Despite the anatomical differences between male and female genitals, orgasms in men and women are physiologically and psychologically, or subjectively, very similar. In fact, studies have been done in which "experts" could not reliably determine gender when reading descriptions of orgasms with all anatomical references removed.

Women have described the sensations of orgasm as beginning with a sense of suspension, quickly followed by an intensely pleasurable feeling that usually begins at the clitoris and spreads throughout the pelvis. The genitals are often described as becoming warm, electric or tingly, and these physical sensations usually spread through some portion of the body. Most women also feel muscle contractions in their vagina or lower pelvis, often described as "pelvic throbbing".

The subjective feeling of orgasm in men has been described quite consistently as beginning with the sensation of deep warmth or pressure that corresponds to ejaculatory inevitability, the point when ejaculation cannot be stopped. It is then felt as sharp, intensely pleasurable contractions involving the pc muscles, anal sphincter, rectum, perineum and genitals. Some men describe this part as a sensation of pumping. Finally, a warm rush of fluid or a shooting sensation describes the actual process of semen travelling through the urethra during ejaculation. It is important to note that orgasm and ejaculation are not one in the same event. Although they typically occur together, a man may have an orgasm without ejaculating.

A major difference between the female and the male orgasmic phase is that far more women than men have the physical capability to have one or more additional orgasms within a short time without dropping below the plateau of sexual arousal. Being multi-orgasmic depends on both continued stimulation and sexual interest. Because neither of these is present every time for most women, multiple orgasms do not occur with every sexual encounter. On the other hand, upon ejaculation, men enter a recovery phase called the refractory period. During this time, further orgasm or ejaculation is physiologically impossible. However, some men can learn to have an orgasm without ejaculating, thereby making it possible to experience multiple orgasms.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Sheesh. I was only looking for "involuntary muscular contractions" hehehehheheheheeee

But thank you FOR ALL that info.... ESPECIALLY about the male orgasm. It actually explains A LOT for me (when I marvel at m'hunny's abilities in the boudior.). I wonder exactly how a man "learns" to orgasm WITHOUT ejaculating... I never thought this was possible.

Learnin' something new EVERY DAY!

 

[Debu]

Can we please stop talking stop associating vomiting and orgasm. We might confuse someone

 

[Temple]

While we are on the subject of orgasm and folks thinking there is something wrong with them I have a queston for you ladies... am I the only woman in the world who immedieately rolls over and goes to sleep? I try to stay awake but when I'm done - I'm DONE - anyone else like this?

 

[The_Monster]

Personally, Im wired after an orgasm! I couldnt sleep if I had to!

 

[Bikini Mod]

It depends... how long I have been fucking, how long I have gone without sleep... how badly I wanna do s'more fucking. Y'know - the basics really!

God, I NEED to get laid.

 

[The_Monster]

The longer it last the more wired I am... and HUNGRY!
Many a time Ive been seen post-sex, standing in front of the stove dancing in place and singing over a pan full of eggs.

Damn, now Im not sure if Im horny or hungry? (I wonder if theyd let me get into bed with a sandwich?)

 

[Temple]

Many a time Ive been seen post-sex, standing in front of the stove dancing in place and singing over a pan full of eggs.

Are ya' naked while you are doing this? I am getting a BIG visual here.......

 

[wyst]

I alternate between being exhausted right afterwards and being wired up and hungry.

Last time my bf tells me I actually started snoring just as my orgasm ended, before I stopped twitching. It was a big one at the end of a long night. Sadly for him he hadn't come yet, as he thought it wasn't the final round. Luckily for me, he has a sense of humor.

I made it up to him in the morning.

Wyst

 

[Gladiola]

I am STILL waiting for someone (now I will take the answer from ANY female BELOW the age of 25) to TELL ME SPECIFICALLY WHAT HAPPENS PHYSICALLY IN A WOMAN'S BODY WHEN SHE IS CLIMAXING.

I think I've read the majority of this thread (I'd say 90% - didn't read all of Starfish's orgasm info there) & I still am not sure WHY this question was asked. I don't get the reason for this request.

 

[Temple]

Wyst - just tell him if it ever happens again to just "cover me up when you're done".

 

[The_Monster]

[
Are ya' naked while you are doing this? I am getting a BIG visual here.......

I think I had a Polo visor on...


Unfortunatly my post-coital music choices are a little odd. I have a habit of hearing a song on TV or something and it sticks in my mind all day. It will be just one line but I'll stand there singing the same line over and over. Have you seen the commercial where the guy is selling the video that teaches you to dance like Nsync and Britney Spears? Well he is breaking down a dance and where it appears in a song and he does the move and says "Aint no lie, baby bye, bye, bye", with no music and no rythm, just to illustrate the move. So there I stand repeating "aint no lie. Bye, bye bye" over and over and over... till I hear a stereo scream from the bedroom of "STOP IT!"

Oh, that and We Sail The Ocean Blue from the operatta H.M.S. Pinafore (dont ask me why... I dont know.)

 

[wyst]

Wyst - just tell him if it ever happens again to just "cover me up when you're done".

Heh. He's a sweetie -- he did.

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

i just want to thank everyone for all the replies!!!!

 

[Ceebs]

am I the only woman in the world who immedieately rolls over and goes to sleep?

It depends on the strength of the orgasm, and how many I've had. I could doze off after the first one, but after the second or the third, I'm RAVENOUS and can't get to sleep until I've had something to eat. (Well, something more filling than my partner...)

By the way, I'm a bit late to the party, but I second the recommendation about shower massagers. I don't know how one COULDN'T have an orgasm with one of those things - it might take 5 minutes, or it might take 45, but you are having one. Temperature and pressure control are your friends.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Well G - looky here. I got bad karma (unsigned of course ) about my post.

The reason that I asked if a woman could describe what going on in her body PHYSICALLY during an orgasm is to illustrate that there are many who profess to having had one, but in reality THEY HAVE NOT. It is all about education!

Hell, I openly admitted to my first embarrassing sexual experience where NEITHER I OR THE GUY KNEW WHAT AN ORGASM WAS! Hello?! Who on earth am I trying to embarrass here?

If one truly had had one, they would have ZERO difficulty explaning it.... involuntary muscular contractions - PERIOD. Hell, I also openly admitted then when I first climaxed I didn't know what the hell it was, only that I wanted to do it AGAIN!

You all need to get your freaking Powerpuff Girls underoos out of the bind that they are in and take a deep freaking breath!

If nothing else I learned that it WAS possible for a man to orgasm WITHOUT ejaculating! I always thought that in order for a man to climax, he MUST ejaculate.... explains a lot when it comes to the prowess of a particular man that I know of. tee-hee

 

[Temple]

I agree Bmom and I understand the point you were trying to make. Many girls/women think they are having an orgasm and are shocked when it actually happens. Just because it feels extremely good does not = the big O. When you initially asked the question the first thought that came to mind was "vaginal muscle contractions".

 

[JLo]

I have already made a post on the elite b/w sheets board but i really don't think i will get as knowledable info as i would here.. i have been contemplating on posting it here because i thought it might not belong here but i am about to lose sanity...
so enough of that and straight to the problem....
i've made a few previous post stating some of my problems and about my doctor putting me on test cyp-50mg eow-... i am 22 and NEVER had a orgasm... and like i said before - i am about to lose sanity!!!! i have been taking the test for a month now and i can tell that it has increased my libido tremendously... i am curious if anyone has any input or advice on this subject... PLEASE

Well, I am 26 and every single orgasm I have had I've given MYSELF! I have been with enough men in my life to know that it's not them. I have had badass sex and STILL no "O". I love sex and men have gone down on me for extended periods of time and still nothing. Only I know what feels good, and there will be times that it will take ME a good 15 minutes to do it myself.

I asked my GYN what I could do. He said I obviously have the "parts" if I can get one myself, but that there is a procedure where they cut back the skin covering the clit, so that it is more exposed and more sensitive.

I opted NOT to go that route! I'll just have these boys keep trying to be "THE ONE TO MAKE JLO CUM!"

 

[Bikini Mod]

Jlo I truly believe that your the reason may be more psychological. I will be the first to admit that there are times when I have diffculty achieving orgasm (even though I am on the verge the whole DAMNED TIME) because of the thoughts that go through my mind during sex. Before I had children I used to think about how someday I would concieve a child through sex... all I ever wanted out of life was a happy family, so this visualization coupled with the fact that I was making love to a man that I did love very much got me off in like SECONDS... then when the babies came I was a mother! Not allowed to be sexual, heaven forbid have SEXUAL THOUGHTS! Fucked me up for a bit.... then when my ex and I decided, no more kids I was at a loss. What to fantasize about now? It was then that I began enjoying sex for the sake of sex and my apetite increased! Now again, I am nearly divorced.... spent a good time of the past year engaging in all types of "forbidden" activities, sampling life... learned what I DID like and what I DID NOT.

Now I'm back to desiring a committed relationship w/a man who would be my soulmate.... but still - no more kids.

I know it all sounds flaky, but it is difficult for me to separate physical pleasure and intense love-making from procreation... I am getting there in that I have finally accepted that I will never have another baby with a man regardless of how truly amazing he is... sad, on the one hand, but the upshot is that I look at it like this: FOUR CHILDREN couldn't keep me tied to my ex. How amazing would it be to have a man want me - JUST FOR ME and not because of a baby?!

I am sure that my feelings are MY OWN and have nothing to do with you or any other board member. I am only sharing them with you in the hopes that you will see that regardless of how "flaky" you might think you are in this respect, chances are there will always be AT LEAST ONE person out there that is FLAKIER STILL!! hehehehehhee

Re examine your feelings.... it may help.

 

[Gladiola]

The reason that I asked if a woman could describe what going on in her body PHYSICALLY during an orgasm

That's not what you asked though. You asked if a woman UNDER 25 could describe it. That seems to me to be AGE DISCRIMINATION & that bothers me a bit. If I'm an idiot - let me prove I'm an idiot of my own accord, don't prejudge me to be one because I'm 24 years old.
Reminds me of the saying, "Don't judge people by the color of their skin. If you just give them a chance, they will provide you plenty more legitimate reasons to judge them as an idiot."
Racism is not the same as age discrimination, but they have in common the concept of unfairly prejudging something like someone's intelligence.

If one truly had had one, they would have ZERO difficulty explaning it

I disagree - there are lots of ppl who are simply just not eloquent. Honestly, I did think you meant what happens to CAUSE the involuntary contractions - what is physiologically occuring in the body - & that I have NO IDEA. I didn't understand either what you were driving at. Although I did understand that you were trying to make the point that ppl think they know what they're talking about & in reality they don't have a clue. You also chose to make the blantent point that those cluless people must also be the younger people.

You all need to get your freaking Powerpuff Girls underoos out of the bind that they are in

Um, OK, I think my age discrimination point is made.....

I know I'll probably be : for this post - so go ahead. Age discrimation (prejudging someone in anyway based on age ALONE) bothers me. I don't think I'm wrong for it bothering me. I also don't see the need to keep my mouth shut & not point this out for what it is. So blast away.

BMom, I also wish you know ill will - I don't think you meant to hurt anyone - so please don't think I'm all pissed at ya or something. I didn't send the bad karma - I'm not that lame.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Gladiola you are cool with me and I thank you for your honesty. I would NEVER engage in a flame war with someone for expressing their honest opinion.

As for the age discrimination thing, I know it seems that way, but is was not. There are MANY women who go through life NEVER experiencing an orgasm, but generally the absence of an orgasm has more to do with what is going through our minds and very little to do with what is goin on with our bodies. How many of us were made to feel dirty or guilty for even THINKING about touching our own bodies for all of our childhood into our adult lives? But as we get older we adopt more of a sense of "FUCK YOU and your uptight notions!" I speak with MANY people and I have my own life experience to draw on.

I am not saying that EVERYONE goes through these things at the same rate.... however, it is pretty much the norm.

There are few things that we see and experience the same way through 40 year old eyes that we did through 30 year old eyes, 20 year old eyes, etc and so on.

I am glad that you came out and stated your feelings. It always helps when there is a civilized and honest exchange of ideas. Believe it or not I have A LOT to learn about younger women. Yes, I was once your age too... but times do tend to change and I want so badly to help my daughters through all facets of thier life. My experience is ONLY ONE EXPERIENCE. My children can only benefit if I sit up and listen to MANY, MANY other individuals of ALL AGES!

 

[Gladiola]

Gladiola you are cool with me and I thank you for your honesty. I would NEVER engage in a flame war with someone for expressing their honest opinion.

Oops! I didn't mean to imply that I thought YOU would flame me! I actually meant other ppl. I didn't mean it to sound like I thought you would be nasty, b/c I certainly did not think that.

I know what you mean about letting yourself relax & JUST ENJOY IT! My boyfriend (first one ever to make me cum, at age 22, he was 28) used to say that to me all the time, "JUST ENJOY IT" that's like his mantra for sex (Not that he sleeps around) - but when we go to that point, he is laid back & doesn't have any hang-ups. He taught me a lot. He's still around

JLO - I can't believe you Dr. even mentioned that! Is that surgery really practiced?? How awful. Um, when someone is CUT, don't they get SCAR TISSUE & isn't that tough & lacking nerve endings?

Um, if the skin is in the way, do you, uh, pull it back? Don't want to be graphic, I'm just confused how it can still be in the way...

 

[JLo]

Um, if the skin is in the way, do you, uh, pull it back? Don't want to be graphic, I'm just confused how it can still be in the way...

Well, in order to expose the clit, there is that small piece of skin right there...*pointing*...LOL - and the doc said that maybe if the skin were removed (making it look like a little poked up nub) that it would be more sensitive to the touch...

I have had men go down on me and pull it back with their fingers while they were just right on the clit, and that was awesome...but still.... I am still my best lover! LOL - na, I'm kidding...although, I have made myself cum IN FRONT of men.... they just participated by talking dirty to me....

Don't get me wrong. I love sex and I love men.... maybe it's good thing I can't cum.....then I'd be a nympho for sure.

 

[Temple]

Where'd ya say you got that at????

 

[Ceebs]

Pardon my ignorance, but you can use labia clamps to pull back the clitoral hood? I thought the loose skin was too small to get a very good hold on...

Never underestimate the value of a cock ring with a clit bumper.

 

[Hannibal]

Geez, haven't you people ever heard of a labia clamp? Get that shiat out of the way!

Excuuuuse me ma'am....mind if I check under the hood?

waiting for this to be moved...

 

[BigEasy]

I'll be DEAD MEAT (okay-okay, dead fat then) when MS. BE sees this one!

Originally Posted By BMom: I am almost afraid to resurrect this thread as it seems that so many people got their underoos in a bind over conflicting points of view...

Actually, if they get their knickers in a twist juuust the right way, it might HELP their disposition some! LOL

Regarding the Masters and Johnson studies; although it was avant-garde research for it’s time, much of the study and findings have been discounted due to the methods and subjects used. I wonder how many people would still feel inadequate if they knew the study subjects they were comparing themselves to were NOT average Jane/Joe Blokes next door. M&J used some rather unsavoury characters in their various studies…

As far as the clitoral hood getting in the way, try more lube. Water based lube is the safest, as long as it doesn’t have much glycerin sugar. Some cheaper and drug store varieties to try are: AstroGlide(thin and VERY slippery), KY(Gel is thick, liquid is medium light), or ForePlay(medium). Water based lube does dry out and may become gooey or sticky, so experiment. If you are a connosuer of lubes, try Body Silk(medium &, slooooooow to dry) and Maximus (heavy for some "serious anti-friction action" i.e. anal). Blowfish.com has some of the best prices, even with shipping for those in less-than-large cities.

If the extra lube doesn't work, and you are into jewelry, consider a clit piercing! Yes, I am serious. You may find with the correct ‘accessorisation,’ you can increase stimulation and orgasm much easier. I don't recommend that you start with a bar or ring actually through the clit, but instead a nice ring or bar through the hood. Make absolutely sure the person doing the piercing has done more than a few and isn't 'learning' on you. Also, make sure they use sterile instruments and jewelry. Better pierces use disposable sterile needles or have an autoclave.

The clitoral hood will actually help keep the clitoris sensitive by protecting it from becoming immune to the routine direct stimulation cased by fabric and movement. This works the same way as the foreskin for an uncircumcised man. The glans (penis head) of a man that can retract his foreskin is far more sensitive than that of a circumcised man. (Been there, did that, and don't recommend it. But, only because it was medically necessary.) Other than for medical or religious reasons, DON"T CUT ANY OFF OF YOUR LITTLE BOYS!!! [Ask me and I’ll tell you what I really think.]

That’s enough to keep me in the doghouse for the next month…..


BE

 

[Temple]

This from our ever so prim and proper Big Easy????
Sounds to me like there be some fun going on at their house!!!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

[Hannibal]

That depends on how much pleasure you find in pain.

Hmmmm...does it hurt when I do...THIS ??!