orgasm question....

[oicu812 - chargeback]

I have already made a post on the elite b/w sheets board but i really don't think i will get as knowledable info as i would here.. i have been contemplating on posting it here because i thought it might not belong here but i am about to lose sanity...
so enough of that and straight to the problem....
i've made a few previous post stating some of my problems and about my doctor putting me on test cyp-50mg eow-... i am 22 and NEVER had a orgasm... and like i said before - i am about to lose sanity!!!! i have been taking the test for a month now and i can tell that it has increased my libido tremendously... i am curious if anyone has any input or advice on this subject... PLEASE

 

[starfish]

Do you have a guy who knows what he is doing???

Hmmm.... www.goodvibes.com to try on your own

Play around a little and RELAX.

 

[Temple]

I hope the powers that be will allow this to stay here as it takes a good bit of courage to ask for help with something like this. As charming as those other boards are I agree that the quality and the sincerity of the advice that she will get here will probably help her and possibly someone else who has a similar problem but is afraid to ask. We can do this in pm if y'all don't think we should do it here.

Okay, hun....
Is it that you have never had an orgasm or you have never had one with a man?

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

i understand if this does not belong here but i posted elsewhere and i started getting offers... and that's NOT what i need or want...

star: i have an excellent boyfriend.. he's a dream come true!!! caring, sensative-- he's perfect-- and yes-- he knows what he's doing!!!

temple: never had a orgasm.. period.. at all...

i am just searching to see if anyone else might have/or know someone who has the same problem.. that's all.. and might know any info on this...
i am not trying to stir up anything... i did lots of searches and research on this before i asked... because i am VERY shy...
i plan on going to the doctor again, as soon as my insurance grace period is over...
i am just anxious

 

[oicu812 - chargeback]

pm's are fine ... i just want some info if there is any out here...

 

[Gladiola]

When I first started having sex & messing around, I hadn't for several years either.

Until I tried the showerhead. Try that, trust me - buy one.

I was not able to have one on my own without it until I first had one with my current boyfriend - he is the only man who ever made it happen for me. Once I had one WITH him, I then learned to have them on my own (um, without the shower head).

My guess is that the average doc won't have much insight, I would try to read all you can on your own unless you're lucky enough to have access to an actually sex therapist. So far as I've read, there aren't many physical problems that could be the cause.

But try the shower head first!

 

[Temple]

I trust that if a mod has a problem with this being here they will let us know. I can think of one mod in particular that will most likely be a big help so......

I had always been able to get there on my own but my husband is the only man who could do it for me (reason #1 that I married him). It is one of those things that the more you do it the easier it will become and most of it has little to do with physically but mentally. The test should help you with this in a big way. Have you tried any of the vibrators at all. In the beginning you will find that BOB (battery operated boy) may be your best friend. There are many places online that you can order them from. Also if you worry about it happening I can promise you that it won't - I know that is easier said than done. If you can find some time for yourself where you have total privacy, take a warm bath and relax and spend some time touching yourself experimenting with what feels good and what feels even better. Allow your mind to wander a bit, find a fantasy that really does it for you. Approach it from the standpoint that you are not trying to have an orgasm but rather finding what feels good.

 

[Gladiola]

Also if you worry about it happening I can promise you that it won't - I know that is easier said than done.

Great advice - as usual!!

I second the above. For me, it happened when he woke me up in the middle of the night. I suppose I was still half asleep & all the uptight/worrying parts of me were still sleeping & silent & BANG!

I started crying out of shock & relief. Yeah, strange, but he wasn't surprised either. It was a LOT of years, more than a few boyfriends, & I had kinda resigned to myself that it would NEVER happen.

Try porn too if you like it (sometimes my mind is lazy about fantasizing on my own - it's easier to work with a visual) - I recommend Peter North - he's pretty cute (lots of fat old disguesting trolls with giant C@#%'s in porn! he's one who's actually something to look at!) Kazaa is great for downloading stuff - if you're not on dial up.

 

[VeggieLifterChick]

Being relaxed is I think the key to coming. Because of that, I second the advice to try it on your own. But I am not a fan of vibrators. I have heard good things about these shower heads Gladiola is talking about from friends. I know where you're coming from, Oicu, I had resigned myself to being one of those women who is just incapable of orgasming, too, and that all changed this summer. See what worked for me was phone sex with my boyfriend. He just started talking dirty to me and telling me how to make things feel good, and after a couple tries, voila! Orgasm.
I think the reason it worked for me was a) The Fantasy Aspect b) The comfort level of not having to impress anyone or worry about if i looked ok, etc. being alone (though still on the phone with him) made me a lot more relaxed. c) I didnt know how pleasure myself until he literally told me how to.
Hope this helps...

 

[new@gettinbig]

Well it takes guts to post something like this......but its good you are trying to find a solution. I think a woman has to first be confident in herself...and explore herself....find out what makes you tick..find your spots and go from there...you need to be able to satisfy yourself...vibrators are GREAT..they come in all different shapes and sizes......get one and start playin around...I agree w/ the shower thing...or just the bath in general..get a nice hot bubble bath...candles and turn the lights off and relax...relax your mind...you trying so hard to figure out why you arent having one..or trying so hard to have one..really could be your problem in itself....I also think the guy has a lot to do w/ it..Ive been w/ some that could not do a DAMN thing for me...and i just waited for them to finish..the guy has to WANT to please you....take his time w/ you and get into you getting off....That makes all the difference in the world...so that could be some of it too...you may love him to death but some are just not compatible in bed..no chemistry...the test should help A LOT!!! Take advantage of it and get some good porn movies out...get some magazines...lotions and oils..massages are nice...I could go on and on...find out what turns you on....