If it helps you at all, I did my first show when i was 35, mom freaked out. She kept saying "Don't get big!" I was like, "Ma, I lost 30 lb." One reality is that there is a pereception of "competition" that the general public sees that makes them think its too extreme, etc. I personally think it is very important to acknowledge that this perception does exist - regardless of what you actually end up looking like - and as you are seeing, doing a competition is really just a very specific program that isn't much different from being a regular gym nut. But people just freak out when they hear about. To this day, 6 years and 2 more competitions after that first competition, I still can't discuss diet w/ my mom w/o her getting upset. Its two very different approaches to dieting. What is interesting tho, is that I can explain to her very simply why she has the problems she has (not enough protein & skinny fat) but she just won't hear it. She & my dad eat very clean, but simply not enough protein and she could be eating better carbs. They are in their mid 60s, walk 5 miles / day, do step classes & some resistance training classes. But the whole diet thing really freaks them out.
My best advice to keep things in perspective -
- Don't make a big thing out sayign you are going to do a competition. If it becomes a constant focus that you keep bringing up in conversation, people around you will get sick of hearing it and get pissed off or simply not talk to you anymore because of it.
- Get a good diet laid out - there are lots here - and you can manage getting your meals in even if you go out - I always get asked if *whatever restaurant* is on my diet. I just say - if I can get salad & chicken & a plain potato, I'm fine. The sore spots come if they want to go out for pizza. If I can't eat clean, I won't go. That is harder w/ a family. (I am single w/ a cat.) But also show your husband the point in your diet / prep where you have to stop going out - that is usually around 4 weeks out from your target date.
- Prepare your husband for those days when you are going to more prone to getting pissy - these are very similar to that one day of that time of the month - but are usually just a low-carb day. But remember that its NOT HIS JOB to "deal" or "understand' you when you do get pissy on low carb days or when you are frustrasted w/ your progress. It is absolutely YOUR ISSUE TO DEAL WITH because YOU chose to go this route. I'm not picking on your goals to compete at all, but I am telling you that your mood is determined by what you eat and you will hit days when you are very bored w/ your diet, maybe stressed by the demands of the program, tired, or you are just on very low carb. I REALLY suggest that you keep a food & mood diary to help you. Be VERY aware of what days you are low on cals or carbs or doing particularly heavy training (e.g. leg day) and when you feel very on edge or find yourself getting pissy w/ people. Then be aware of that, maybe lock yourself away or make the best effort you can to avoid any provocational situations, or let your husband know ahead of time that its a low carb day & can he help a little more w/ the kids today or something like that. Or prepare yourself ahead of time to be more relaxed and less on edge or quick to respond on those days before you realize that its the low-carb or the cals or the training that is putting you in an edgy, pissy mood before you go off on someone when you dont' mean to & they can't figure out what the hell crawled up your ass & died.
Also you didn't say specifically what type of competition you are doing - figure or BB? BB is more extreme than figure, figure is an easier one to present to people to say "look at the amazing bodies on these girls & how feminine they are." Often people assume BB means you are going to look like a giant steroided out male bodybuilder. Its REALLY important to keep these perceptions straight for the people around you. My mom still tells me to "not get big" - and every time I still drop 20-30 lb.
Something also to keep in mind - after the competition, you will experience a rebound and again you are dealing w/ your pereception of yourself and dealign w/ "coming down" from the competition itself. You've finally achieved a goal you set for yourself but the reality of competition is that you DON"T maintain that look. People always think you look sickly, too thin, etc. when you are competing - so you can always say that you only are like that for a few days. But also you don't remaining wonderfully lean after a show. You will rebound because the whole process of show prep is to look that way at show time. Not setting a healthy maintainable look to keep over a long time. Its intended to be a short term look and your body will go back to a degree. Also prepare yourself for that post -show rebound - it is a known real physical & mental reaction to all that focused dieting & training. So allow for it and dont' let yourself feel bad about yourself when you are post show & the weigth, etc. starts coming back. Just like eveything else - keep the range of the extremes to a minimum. Ease back into "normal eating" and just keep your head on an even keel. You have to go thru it once to really understand what I'm talking about it, but it does exist and it helps to at least be aware of it.
Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
