Nerves got the best of me

[Skeleton]

Good day everyone.

I just received my first ever cycle of test e and dianabol. I am 35 years old and have been wanting to do this for 20 years. Always talked about it but never went as far as to do it. I'm 145 lbs, same weight I was in high school and have always lived a very active lifestyle. Worked hard jobs and lifted weights almost the whole time. My metabolism is over the roof and gaining weight has always been something I could never do. Fluctuate up and down 5lbs no matter what diet I followed and what I did to try and improve my body look. After reading and reading, talking to drs and basically anyone I could for advice I finally took the step and acquired a 12 week cycle including all the post pct. was soo excited to finally do this watched the cycle travel through the mail system and even ran home from the post office like a little kid at Christmas. For everything ready and wow the nerves kicked in and almost had a panic attack when I was about to pin. Watched mega videos on inj sites any how too I could. So I said dude be a man you have always wanted this. Took a 1000 deep breaths and in went the pin in my upper slightly outer thigh. Surprisingly there was like 0 pain just a weird feeling in my pinning hand must have just been the breaking of the layers and I pretty much burried the 25g 1inch pin. Proceeded to asperate and a big air bubble came out of nowhere but no blood and I freaked out and removed the pin without injecting. Sweat consumed my body and I started to shake. No blood even came out of the site and this is day 4 after and never had any pain. Just feel mentally scared from the whole ordeal. I feel that I have let myself down on something that I have wanted to do for 20 years over my fear of pins.

Any advice would be much appreciated as I would love to get this done and proceed to give myself more self confidence in my appearance as I am even so self conscious of my stick frame I don't wear shorts or t shirts in the summer due to that.

Thanks alot everyone
Skeleton

 

[stevesmi]

145 pounds is very light, I really do not think you should juice until you build up a base bro.

consider it a blessing you didn't go through with it. like you said you have a very active lifestyle and job.. you are burning a ton of calories all day, so if you want to put on mass you gotta eat more or cut down on your 'activity' .. what will happen if you start juicing is you will start gaining weight and cripple your soft tissues in the process and when you stop you will lose it all

 

[RickRock13]

If you have been the same weight for this long from high school all the way to 35 while working out, you need to reevaluate what you need to do to build muscle before ever touching AAS anyways. Learn how to eat properly and lift heavy and progress accordingly and those gains will come. I would stick with natural supplements for the time being until you build a proper base first.

 

[Skeleton]

Thanks for the replies fellas. Much appreciated. I have been on protene shakes from the dr and the health food stores and never does anything more then give me energy and feels like I'm burning calories just blinking my eyes. I have been trying to consume over 4000 calories a day for the past 2-3 months and feel like a balloon daily due to never eating like that before. I have a very healthy appetite and eat healthy foods. I have full definition to my body arms chest legs but still very light. I do zero cartio in fear of losing any more valuable weight and have tried to adjust my active lifestyle to try and conserve all calories I'm cramming into myself. I can almost curl my body weight and have alot of strength for being a skeleton ( in my eyes anyway ) I'm just frustrated after all these years of drs and working out. Eating like its going out of style Not looking for the easy road in this just thought this might be another way to try and finally gain weight. I'm not here to become mr universe don't get me wrong I'm just at a loss already of what to do next.

 

[Skeleton]

Also in reply to building a base. I was a heliport able seismic driller for quite a few years, climbed mountains threw drill stem with one arm on 45 degree angles day in and day out basically worked harder then any fitness program I have seen maybe other then that p90x or whatever that's called and only got definition out of it all. Yes it was alot of activity climbing and walking quite a few km a day for years. Not making excuses but if that's not where a base might have been acquired then not sure what more I could do honestly. Before and after that career I worked underground in potash mines on drill crews running jack legs which are very heavy and very demanding physically. Was always the stick man compared to everyone else. Would put work and lift more then some of the ripped co workers I had. Most always in awe almost at how I was able to handle that work and laugh while
Doing it. So I don't know

 

[stevesmi]

okay I think you are confused about what building a base means. re-read my prior post about how your lifestyle is screwing you from building mass, i'm not argueing you are one helluva hill climber, I am argueing that if you went to the gym with me you would be sore for days because I would work your muscles totally different

1. you are very conditioned when it comes to climbing mountains and such but you aren't conditioned in weight training.. there is a huge difference
2. protein shakes aren't gonna build you mass, but they will actually prevent you from building mass because they destroy your appetite
3. like rick said if you are the same weight now as you were 20 years ago then you aren't lifting to get big and you aren't eating to get big

read my bulking diet in the diet section.. its a sticky. get on a proper workout program to BUILD mass and not to BURN mass.

you came on here for help and we are giving it to you, please stop saying you have a base because unless you are a midget you cannot be 145 pounds and have any sort of muscle mass on your frame.

the whole fast metabolism excuse is a cop out.. its is an ADVANTAGE in bodybuilding to have a fast metabolism.. I wish I had what you had.. that is a blessing!! use that to your advantage instead of using it as an excuse

let me put it this way... I had a friend at the gym who was skinny like you.. the guy weighed 145 or so as well.. he laid pipes for a living... he ended up switching and doing more office work, kept his diet the same and put on about 25 pounds over the course of a few months. reason being is he wasn't burning shit sitting on his ass at work. so if you are going to have a hard labor job you need to be eating A LOT. building mass starts in the kitchen

 

[Skeleton]

I'm not arguing the fact that I have worked jobs that burnt more calories then I have been able to replace throughout the years. I am 5'9 so no not a "little person" but thin there is no denying it. I goto the gym and go steady for anywhere from 60-90 min daily Hard! Where brushing my teeth puts tears in my eyes cause I can't lift my arms. The other day my legs cramped where I almost fell down the stairs leaving the gym cause there was nothing left. I was put on a diet by a female competition body builder that works with my girlfriend.

I'm not here to argue. You don't even understand how hard it is talking about this as this is my life not on here talking about video games on the Internet how to pass a level in super Mario

I am just trying to lay down the foundation of what I have tried and been doing so maybe I can finally figure out where to go from here

 

[iamtybaby]

Let me start by saying..from experience I feel your pain bro. I was the same weight (133) from the ages of 18-26..i just turned 28. So i finally joined a Nutrition forum to get help. I had every excuse in the book man "I eat everything in site and don't gain nothing" "I have a lightning
fast metabolism" etc...they kept saying you don't eat enough you don't eat enough.

So i constantly fought with them and I got the same answers. One guy gave me a meal plan and I decided I was going to follow it. The next week I was 135 week after I was 137 and every week after it kept going up. I am currently 168. Im telling you man, you can gain this weight. It's as simple as eating man. Yes gear will temporarily putsome mass on you but, you will deflate like a ballon as soon as the cycle is over.

compose a diet of mainly whole foods that you enjoy and minimum supplements. Stratch all that "eating healthy" and "clean eating" crap...you know you can become fat just off of eating chicken breast, brocoli and brown rice?

 

[Skeleton]

I'm willing to try anything! If you have a copy of the diet plan you started with could I ask for a copy of it and I will follow that plan. I am dedicated in this turn around and want this "base"

I appreciate your responses. Please no hard feelings on my previous replies it just feels I've been there done that but whatever I'm no expert and not against learning new thing.

Let eat !!

 

[Elvia1023]

I'm willing to try anything! If you have a copy of the diet plan you started with could I ask for a copy of it and I will follow that plan. I am dedicated in this turn around and want this "base"

I appreciate your responses. Please no hard feelings on my previous replies it just feels I've been there done that but whatever I'm no expert and not against learning new thing.

Let eat !!

I haven't read the whole thread but your mentally is all wrong. Firstly active job or not that is a tiny weight and the others are correct you should start off with a better base. But it sounds like you are determined and if you want to do a 1st cycle no one is stopping you. Once you get a few injs in they will be nothing. You want to do glute shots and not thigh ones... trust me on that.

You don't want a fixed diet plan. You are gonna grow and with that comes greater nutritional need. A starting diet plan would eb good though. Plus the added training and you need more food. The drugs will enable you to utilize nutrition better too. The drugs will also boost your metabolism. Everything should be about progression. Your diet should evolve with you. There is no point eating like you are 300 pounds when you are less than half that. The best way would be to have various set meals (loads of them)... ideally they would have similar macronutrient ratios (40g protein, 50g carbs and 20g fat for example). Consume them when hungry and listen to your body. If you do things correctly you will be here to adapt to your new size etc. Just filling yourself full of loads of food now will cause bloat and likely slow down your progress.

I have to add though you obviously have a fast metabolism so you need to eat big... most need to eat big to get big. You want good quality, nutritional dense food. There are many thing you could do. Just keep it simple but be consistent and you will grow.