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my dreams have come true! i will share my secret to increasing my ejaculation!
- Thread starter smallmovesal
- Start date
Ercole
New member
FDA Warning
The FDA has issued a warning about these pills, since there have been four reported cases of harmless BJs ending in unspeakable horror.
One of the worst was in Pittsburgh: a young Armenian immigrant playfully came on his girl's face. When the screaming stopped, he discovered he'd put her eye out ... nothing left but a splooge-spattered socket! Now the poor lady has to wear an eye-patch for life and wherever she goes her friends tease her by singing pirate songs.
An even more shocking incident occured in Beverly Hills, at an exclusive sex club for the rich and famous. Madonna, blowing Danny DeVito, had enough sense to dodge the diminuative actor's explosive load -- but other stars nearby were not so lucky.
Mariah Carey, J-Lo, and Barbara Walters were all wounded by drops of DeVito's supercharged gizz. Britney Spears tried to flee, but a drop struck her in the ear, travelled all the way down her 60 lb. frame and exited her (up till then) virgin vagina.
"Cool!" Britney cooed. "We're using that in my next ci8deo. Then the public will REALLY know I'm all growed up."
Please PLEASE boycott this herbal menace and petition the FDA to ban it altogether before tragedy strikes again!
The FDA has issued a warning about these pills, since there have been four reported cases of harmless BJs ending in unspeakable horror.
One of the worst was in Pittsburgh: a young Armenian immigrant playfully came on his girl's face. When the screaming stopped, he discovered he'd put her eye out ... nothing left but a splooge-spattered socket! Now the poor lady has to wear an eye-patch for life and wherever she goes her friends tease her by singing pirate songs.
An even more shocking incident occured in Beverly Hills, at an exclusive sex club for the rich and famous. Madonna, blowing Danny DeVito, had enough sense to dodge the diminuative actor's explosive load -- but other stars nearby were not so lucky.
Mariah Carey, J-Lo, and Barbara Walters were all wounded by drops of DeVito's supercharged gizz. Britney Spears tried to flee, but a drop struck her in the ear, travelled all the way down her 60 lb. frame and exited her (up till then) virgin vagina.
"Cool!" Britney cooed. "We're using that in my next ci8deo. Then the public will REALLY know I'm all growed up."
Please PLEASE boycott this herbal menace and petition the FDA to ban it altogether before tragedy strikes again!
lmao...funny one ercole.
With that much of an increase in volume I would have to have to stand on the banks of the mighty mississippie because she would be the only thing on the planet that could handle the massive load I would unleash. Small towns all along the great river from St. Louis to Baton Rouge would have to build up large dykes to prevent this massive onslaught of water displacement from flooding out there cities.
FEMA would be called in to help clean up the gooey splooge that is left all over the cities and towns that dot the banks of this great river.
I just ordered a bottle. I'm going to down the whole thing at once. Baton Rouge...you have been warned!
With that much of an increase in volume I would have to have to stand on the banks of the mighty mississippie because she would be the only thing on the planet that could handle the massive load I would unleash. Small towns all along the great river from St. Louis to Baton Rouge would have to build up large dykes to prevent this massive onslaught of water displacement from flooding out there cities.
FEMA would be called in to help clean up the gooey splooge that is left all over the cities and towns that dot the banks of this great river.
I just ordered a bottle. I'm going to down the whole thing at once. Baton Rouge...you have been warned!
Taps
New member
This probably falls under "too much information", but I got a hand job one time and I was soooooo worked up from a weekend of trying to get in this girls pants (and then finally getting relase) that I shot my wad clear acrosss the room and hit my cat in the head! I've never laughed so hard in my life...lol
I don't need no stinkin' pill.
I don't need no stinkin' pill.
HappyScrappy
New member
Taps said:This probably falls under "too much information", but I got a hand job one time and I was soooooo worked up from a weekend of trying to get in this girls pants (and then finally getting relase) that I shot my wad clear acrosss the room and hit my cat in the head! I've never laughed so hard in my life...lol
I don't need no stinkin' pill.
lesson learned: *always* aim for pets
HappyScrappy
New member
the other day I walked into the bathroom and flicked on the light and the cat and I shared an awkward moment. she was standing on the edge of the toilet, straddling the span with the lid up and looking around... not entirely sure what the hell she was doing, but she looked guilty.
she finally ran off and I peed, while she turned around and watched. that is always a bit unnerving - but it doesn't trigger my pressure pee thing, so whatever.
she finally ran off and I peed, while she turned around and watched. that is always a bit unnerving - but it doesn't trigger my pressure pee thing, so whatever.
supersizeme
New member
lol HS
since we're talking about funny stories involving pets and urination, about a week ago i was over at this girl's apartment and i was taking care of some post-nut urination. i'm always instructed to leave the door open when i'm peeing because she has two kittens and they have some abnormal obsession with the bathroom and start freaking out if the door's closed. ok whatever. so i'm like that's cool and go about my business with the door open and i'm in midstream when all of a sudden i hear something tear ass into the bathroom. being that this is a female's apartment, the toilet seat is never up and this is apparently the most amazing thing to ever happen. so the kitten tears into the bathroom and leaps into the toilet, keep in mind i'm in mid-stream here. the kitten had obviously not thought this maneuver through fully, and when she landed in the toilet bowl, not only was she drenched in toilet water, but i'm also now sitting here peeing on this kitten and there's not much i can do about it. this all lasts about 8 tenths of a second before the cat ejects from the toilet bowl and briefly spazzes out by running in two full circles and then exiting the bathroom. i continued peeing while laughing my ass off.
girl "what happened??"
me "nothing"
the remainder of the evening i spent trying not to laugh when the kitten was cleaning itself.
since we're talking about funny stories involving pets and urination, about a week ago i was over at this girl's apartment and i was taking care of some post-nut urination. i'm always instructed to leave the door open when i'm peeing because she has two kittens and they have some abnormal obsession with the bathroom and start freaking out if the door's closed. ok whatever. so i'm like that's cool and go about my business with the door open and i'm in midstream when all of a sudden i hear something tear ass into the bathroom. being that this is a female's apartment, the toilet seat is never up and this is apparently the most amazing thing to ever happen. so the kitten tears into the bathroom and leaps into the toilet, keep in mind i'm in mid-stream here. the kitten had obviously not thought this maneuver through fully, and when she landed in the toilet bowl, not only was she drenched in toilet water, but i'm also now sitting here peeing on this kitten and there's not much i can do about it. this all lasts about 8 tenths of a second before the cat ejects from the toilet bowl and briefly spazzes out by running in two full circles and then exiting the bathroom. i continued peeing while laughing my ass off.
girl "what happened??"
me "nothing"
the remainder of the evening i spent trying not to laugh when the kitten was cleaning itself.
the nature boy
New member
I don't by the effectiveness of these pills. I mean, lets say you abstained from sex for like a week or two. There would be this huge buildup in your ball sack. You'd walk around all funny and people would start asking questions. It would be too much trouble if you ask me.
Good ejaculation story. My friend (no, not me) was hooking up with this chick. SHe was giving him a blow job and right before he came she stopped using her mouth and just used her hand on him. Anyway, so he blows his load, and the first shot goes directly in his mouth. He ended up gagging on it and threw up all over her. lol
(ok I added the part about him throwing up on her, the story is like 10 years old so I needed to spice it up a little)
Good ejaculation story. My friend (no, not me) was hooking up with this chick. SHe was giving him a blow job and right before he came she stopped using her mouth and just used her hand on him. Anyway, so he blows his load, and the first shot goes directly in his mouth. He ended up gagging on it and threw up all over her. lol
(ok I added the part about him throwing up on her, the story is like 10 years old so I needed to spice it up a little)
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