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I've looked around for a women's version of the "40 mistakes men make" but failed to find one....I did however come close.
Here are 20 mistakes that women make.....are there only 20?(This list however, only focusses on handjobs and blowjobs.)
Or do the women just know what they're doing more than us men.....discuss.
I'm sure this list could be expended upon.
10 Worst Handjob Mistakes
A handjob should be one of life's simple pleasures, but it often ends up as little more than a chafed disaster. Here are some tips to avoid common handjob pitfalls. Print out this list and keep it next to the sofa or tape it to the dashboard of your car.
1.Doing it dry
If you don't want a sore, red, inflamed cock after all is said and done, use some lube. Unless you have extraordinarily soft skin or are a maestro of the cock fiddle, rubbing a dry cock will just make it raw. If you don’t have any KY Jelly or hand lotion handy, you can at least use the natural bodily fluid most readily available: saliva. As long as you can work up a mouthful of spit, there’s no excuse for a dry handjob.
2.Unrelated chatter
Focus on the task at hand! No chatting on the cell phone with your friends or musing about dinner plans. Permissible topics of discussion include: how huge his cock feels in your hand, how wet he is making you, and how desperately you want him to come all over your face.
3.Fingernails
Long, pointy, or roughly cut fingernails present a handjob hazard. They can poke, scrape, pinch, and gouge if you’re not careful. Accidents are most likely to happen when you’re moving too fast, so if you have long nails, take it slow and be careful. Fingernails can be used to good effect if you use them very lightly to caress or tickle his cock and balls. Using the backs, not the tips or edges, is recommended. If you’re not sure what you’re doing, don’t try, just keep them out of the way.
4.No rhythm
In order to be pleasurable and build arousal to a climax, a handjob should have rhythm and continuity. It’s best to start slow and then steadily increase the pace till he pops off. Don’t stop and start or speed up and slow down randomly or for no reason. Once you start a handjob, you really have to keep at it until it’s over, or you lose the momentum (and he’ll lose his erection). Keep your hands on his dick, and keep them moving till he comes.
5.Limp grip
When you shake hands with someone and their hand feels like a limp, dead fish, it’s creepy and unpleasant. Now imagine how it would feel to have that hand on your dick. Definitely not a turn on. A weak grip conveys lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm for the job, or just downright distaste about touching a cock. It’s even worse if your hands are also cold and clammy. A weak grip combined with lackluster movement is the kiss of death for a hand job. Grasp his cock firmly (but not too firmly – see our next item) and stroke vigorously (but not too vigorously).
6.Vise grip
Grabbing his cock in a death-grip is also a huge handjob mistake. A light but firm grasp is adequate. Remember, “choking the chicken” is just an expression. Putting a stranglehold on his cock is counterproductive. Also, while it can feel good to have the outer skin of the dick pulled back and forth over the shaft, you really need to move your hands over the surface too - don’t just grab one spot and start jerking up and down.
7.Wearing rings
This is a no-brainer. You need to take off your rings before you give a hand job. They don’t “add sensation” – or they do, but the wrong kind. Rings can scratch and bump the delicate skin of the cock. They’re distracting. And they can get caught in his pubic hair. Needless to say, if you’re wearing a wedding or engagement ring, this goes double.
8.Nut crunching
Unless he specifically says that he likes it rough, don’t squeeze, pull, or twist his nutsack. This can be painful. Many guys like to have their balls massaged, rubbed, or gently tugged during a handjob. But don’t grab them and knead them like a stress-ball. A light touch is best.
9.Smoking
Smoking during a handjob is the kind of thing you might expect from a cheap hooker with a bad attitude, but don’t be surprised if you also encounter it from a party girl wasted on too many Slippery Nipples. In any case, we can’t emphasize this enough: Cigarettes and handjobs do not mix. Guys, don’t ever let anyone holding a burning object anywhere near your crotch. Smoldering ashes in the groin, scorch marks on the dick, blazing pubes - the potential for tragedy is just too great.
10.Not Cleaning Up After
A good handjob should leave your man glowing in a state of relaxed post-ejaculatory bliss. And it will also leave a mess, gobs of jism, lube, and pubic hair. Keep a hot, wet towel at the ready, or at least a tissue, to clean up afterwards. Nothing will ruin his good mood more than having to deal with the aftermath himself.
10 Worst Blowjob Mistakes
1.Teeth
The number one blowjob mistake: letting your teeth hit his cock. We can't stress this enough. Ask any guy and he'll tell you again and again: nothing is worse than a blowjob that is "all teeth". In fact, most guys won't admit it, but their idea of a perfect blowjob would be getting sucked off by a gorgeous woman with removable dentures. Teeth can nick and scrape the sensitive skin of the penis. Open your mouth wide enough that they stay away from his cock, or suck your lips in over them to cushion the rough edges. If he's wearing a condom during the blowjob this may provide a slight buffer, but don't count on it.
2.Going too fast
Some guys enjoy a quickie, but unless they're in a hurry to get back to work or back to their wife/girlfriend, most men like to savor the experience of getting their cock sucked. So don't rush them. It's not a race to see how fast you can get him to spurt. Take your time and make it last. Concentrate on different parts of his penis, or his balls, then go back to basic sucking and stroking. At the end of a luxuriant BJ session, he'll blow a much larger, more satisfying load.
3.Sucking too hard
Hoovering him like a dustbuster may seem like a good idea in theory, but there's a wrong way to do it. Don't fasten your mouth around the head of his cock and suck like you're trying to get a triple-thick milkshake though a straw. Guys' dickheads are the most sensitive part of the penis, and uncut guys are even more sensitive there. The proper technique to hoover is to take more of his cock into your mouth and apply moderate suction.
4.Crushing his nuts
Don't grab his balls and squeeze like you're trying to crack walnuts. This is a move you want to pull on a would-be rapist, not a guy you're trying to get off. It's painful. Many guys like to have their sack rubbed, licked, or gently tugged during a bj. You can even take a break from sucking his cock to take one or both of his balls into your mouth. But don't yank on the family jewels, and don't put them in a vise grip.
5.Barfing and gagging
Throwing up while giving a bj is definitely a turn-off, although sometimes this happens to the most well-intentioned cocksuckers. What happens is they get overenthusiastic, take the cock too deep or hard into their throat, the gag reflex gets triggered, and then it's all over. Or once the cum starts hitting the back of her throat, things start flowing the wrong way. Don't try to deep throat on your first BJ. Everyone will be sorry. Practice first on dildos to get your gag-reflex under control. Or just work up to it at your own speed.
6.Remaining immobile
Putting his cock in your mouth and then doing nothing is as bad as overdoing it. Most guys don't want to feel like they're face-fucking a cadaver. You need to work it at least a little. A total lack of effort or enthusiasm on your part is a real buzz kill. If you don't know what to do with your tongue, at least bob your head. After a while, he may want to take a more active role and have you relax while he fucks your mouth, but you need to give him a little encouragement to get him aroused.
7.Not using enough pressure
Wimpy blowjobs are no fun. Be firm and suck him like you mean it. Lapping his dick lightly will just make him feel teased. Licking his dick like it's a lollipop or popsicle may be fun to get warmed up, but then you have to get down to business. Use a firm (but not too firm) hand to work the shaft of his cock, while you get your mouth all over his knob and caress it with your tongue.
8.Spitting
Most guys want you to swallow and think that a BJ really isn't complete until his load goes down your throat. The only exception is if he gets off more on spraying it on your face, tits, or somewhere else. If you really don't want to swallow, this can be an acceptable compromise. Symbolically, swallowing shows that you accept him and his manly essence fully. Although we can't endorse unprotected bodily fluid exchange in any form, if you happen to be giving an unprotected blowjob (i.e., without a condom) and you end up with his spunk in your mouth, do not retch his cum into a wastebasket in front of him. If you really feel you must spit, do it discreetly into a towel or tissue.
9.Dry mouth
A good BJ involves a lot of saliva. Don't be afraid to get a little sloppy and drool on his cock. If your mouth is dry from nervousness or whatever, there will be too much friction and stickiness to give good head. If your mouth is dry, drink some water and rinse. Try to work up a good mouthful of spit before you go down. Suck on a hard candy to get your juice flowing, or suck on an Altoid to give him a mentholated BJ.
10.Stranglehold
Don't put his cock in a deathgrip. It's fine to wrap a hand around the shaft, but don't clench and for god's sake, watch the nails. Just hold it enough to keep it from flopping around and shuck his pole with your hand while you work him with your mouth. His dick shouldn't have a handprint on in when you're done.
Here are 20 mistakes that women make.....are there only 20?(This list however, only focusses on handjobs and blowjobs.)
Or do the women just know what they're doing more than us men.....discuss.
I'm sure this list could be expended upon.
10 Worst Handjob Mistakes
A handjob should be one of life's simple pleasures, but it often ends up as little more than a chafed disaster. Here are some tips to avoid common handjob pitfalls. Print out this list and keep it next to the sofa or tape it to the dashboard of your car.
1.Doing it dry
If you don't want a sore, red, inflamed cock after all is said and done, use some lube. Unless you have extraordinarily soft skin or are a maestro of the cock fiddle, rubbing a dry cock will just make it raw. If you don’t have any KY Jelly or hand lotion handy, you can at least use the natural bodily fluid most readily available: saliva. As long as you can work up a mouthful of spit, there’s no excuse for a dry handjob.
2.Unrelated chatter
Focus on the task at hand! No chatting on the cell phone with your friends or musing about dinner plans. Permissible topics of discussion include: how huge his cock feels in your hand, how wet he is making you, and how desperately you want him to come all over your face.
3.Fingernails
Long, pointy, or roughly cut fingernails present a handjob hazard. They can poke, scrape, pinch, and gouge if you’re not careful. Accidents are most likely to happen when you’re moving too fast, so if you have long nails, take it slow and be careful. Fingernails can be used to good effect if you use them very lightly to caress or tickle his cock and balls. Using the backs, not the tips or edges, is recommended. If you’re not sure what you’re doing, don’t try, just keep them out of the way.
4.No rhythm
In order to be pleasurable and build arousal to a climax, a handjob should have rhythm and continuity. It’s best to start slow and then steadily increase the pace till he pops off. Don’t stop and start or speed up and slow down randomly or for no reason. Once you start a handjob, you really have to keep at it until it’s over, or you lose the momentum (and he’ll lose his erection). Keep your hands on his dick, and keep them moving till he comes.
5.Limp grip
When you shake hands with someone and their hand feels like a limp, dead fish, it’s creepy and unpleasant. Now imagine how it would feel to have that hand on your dick. Definitely not a turn on. A weak grip conveys lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm for the job, or just downright distaste about touching a cock. It’s even worse if your hands are also cold and clammy. A weak grip combined with lackluster movement is the kiss of death for a hand job. Grasp his cock firmly (but not too firmly – see our next item) and stroke vigorously (but not too vigorously).
6.Vise grip
Grabbing his cock in a death-grip is also a huge handjob mistake. A light but firm grasp is adequate. Remember, “choking the chicken” is just an expression. Putting a stranglehold on his cock is counterproductive. Also, while it can feel good to have the outer skin of the dick pulled back and forth over the shaft, you really need to move your hands over the surface too - don’t just grab one spot and start jerking up and down.
7.Wearing rings
This is a no-brainer. You need to take off your rings before you give a hand job. They don’t “add sensation” – or they do, but the wrong kind. Rings can scratch and bump the delicate skin of the cock. They’re distracting. And they can get caught in his pubic hair. Needless to say, if you’re wearing a wedding or engagement ring, this goes double.
8.Nut crunching
Unless he specifically says that he likes it rough, don’t squeeze, pull, or twist his nutsack. This can be painful. Many guys like to have their balls massaged, rubbed, or gently tugged during a handjob. But don’t grab them and knead them like a stress-ball. A light touch is best.
9.Smoking
Smoking during a handjob is the kind of thing you might expect from a cheap hooker with a bad attitude, but don’t be surprised if you also encounter it from a party girl wasted on too many Slippery Nipples. In any case, we can’t emphasize this enough: Cigarettes and handjobs do not mix. Guys, don’t ever let anyone holding a burning object anywhere near your crotch. Smoldering ashes in the groin, scorch marks on the dick, blazing pubes - the potential for tragedy is just too great.
10.Not Cleaning Up After
A good handjob should leave your man glowing in a state of relaxed post-ejaculatory bliss. And it will also leave a mess, gobs of jism, lube, and pubic hair. Keep a hot, wet towel at the ready, or at least a tissue, to clean up afterwards. Nothing will ruin his good mood more than having to deal with the aftermath himself.
10 Worst Blowjob Mistakes
1.Teeth
The number one blowjob mistake: letting your teeth hit his cock. We can't stress this enough. Ask any guy and he'll tell you again and again: nothing is worse than a blowjob that is "all teeth". In fact, most guys won't admit it, but their idea of a perfect blowjob would be getting sucked off by a gorgeous woman with removable dentures. Teeth can nick and scrape the sensitive skin of the penis. Open your mouth wide enough that they stay away from his cock, or suck your lips in over them to cushion the rough edges. If he's wearing a condom during the blowjob this may provide a slight buffer, but don't count on it.
2.Going too fast
Some guys enjoy a quickie, but unless they're in a hurry to get back to work or back to their wife/girlfriend, most men like to savor the experience of getting their cock sucked. So don't rush them. It's not a race to see how fast you can get him to spurt. Take your time and make it last. Concentrate on different parts of his penis, or his balls, then go back to basic sucking and stroking. At the end of a luxuriant BJ session, he'll blow a much larger, more satisfying load.
3.Sucking too hard
Hoovering him like a dustbuster may seem like a good idea in theory, but there's a wrong way to do it. Don't fasten your mouth around the head of his cock and suck like you're trying to get a triple-thick milkshake though a straw. Guys' dickheads are the most sensitive part of the penis, and uncut guys are even more sensitive there. The proper technique to hoover is to take more of his cock into your mouth and apply moderate suction.
4.Crushing his nuts
Don't grab his balls and squeeze like you're trying to crack walnuts. This is a move you want to pull on a would-be rapist, not a guy you're trying to get off. It's painful. Many guys like to have their sack rubbed, licked, or gently tugged during a bj. You can even take a break from sucking his cock to take one or both of his balls into your mouth. But don't yank on the family jewels, and don't put them in a vise grip.
5.Barfing and gagging
Throwing up while giving a bj is definitely a turn-off, although sometimes this happens to the most well-intentioned cocksuckers. What happens is they get overenthusiastic, take the cock too deep or hard into their throat, the gag reflex gets triggered, and then it's all over. Or once the cum starts hitting the back of her throat, things start flowing the wrong way. Don't try to deep throat on your first BJ. Everyone will be sorry. Practice first on dildos to get your gag-reflex under control. Or just work up to it at your own speed.
6.Remaining immobile
Putting his cock in your mouth and then doing nothing is as bad as overdoing it. Most guys don't want to feel like they're face-fucking a cadaver. You need to work it at least a little. A total lack of effort or enthusiasm on your part is a real buzz kill. If you don't know what to do with your tongue, at least bob your head. After a while, he may want to take a more active role and have you relax while he fucks your mouth, but you need to give him a little encouragement to get him aroused.
7.Not using enough pressure
Wimpy blowjobs are no fun. Be firm and suck him like you mean it. Lapping his dick lightly will just make him feel teased. Licking his dick like it's a lollipop or popsicle may be fun to get warmed up, but then you have to get down to business. Use a firm (but not too firm) hand to work the shaft of his cock, while you get your mouth all over his knob and caress it with your tongue.
8.Spitting
Most guys want you to swallow and think that a BJ really isn't complete until his load goes down your throat. The only exception is if he gets off more on spraying it on your face, tits, or somewhere else. If you really don't want to swallow, this can be an acceptable compromise. Symbolically, swallowing shows that you accept him and his manly essence fully. Although we can't endorse unprotected bodily fluid exchange in any form, if you happen to be giving an unprotected blowjob (i.e., without a condom) and you end up with his spunk in your mouth, do not retch his cum into a wastebasket in front of him. If you really feel you must spit, do it discreetly into a towel or tissue.
9.Dry mouth
A good BJ involves a lot of saliva. Don't be afraid to get a little sloppy and drool on his cock. If your mouth is dry from nervousness or whatever, there will be too much friction and stickiness to give good head. If your mouth is dry, drink some water and rinse. Try to work up a good mouthful of spit before you go down. Suck on a hard candy to get your juice flowing, or suck on an Altoid to give him a mentholated BJ.
10.Stranglehold
Don't put his cock in a deathgrip. It's fine to wrap a hand around the shaft, but don't clench and for god's sake, watch the nails. Just hold it enough to keep it from flopping around and shuck his pole with your hand while you work him with your mouth. His dick shouldn't have a handprint on in when you're done.
But since it is attached to someone, you need to know what turns the owner on and go from there....
