Memories of 9/11

[nefertiti]

Posted this on my fb...figured I'd share here as well...

My strongest memories aren't so much of that day. I remember the confusion. I remember the disorientation. I remember the concern for anyone and everyone who I knew to work in that area. Many turned out to be fine...some did not. None who died were close to me. A neighbor. A parishioner at my father's church. A family friend I hadn't seen in years. But I remember this overwhelming sense of loss everywhere around me. I cried in my mother's arms that day for the first time in years....her rocking me back and forth, me soaking her shirt with my tears, crying, "All those people....all those people..."

A week later when I had the opportunity to volunteer at ground zero, I jumped on it. 8:00PM-8:00AM weekend shifts. My parents would be walking the actual site, blessing what remains were found. I would be at the chapel a block away that had been converted into a relief center doing whatever odd job was needed. Serving food, drinks, getting various things people at checkpoints might need - coffee, chapstick, eye drops. When I stepped out of the subway the night of my first shift, the first thing that hit me was the smell. This would be my enduring memory of ground zero. A terrible stench I'd never smelled before and never would again. I remember thinking that it smelled like death.

Arriving on site, we passed by large groups of onlookers. I remember being disgusted initially, by what seemed like fascination with the massive destruction akin to rubbernecking a car wreck. To be sure, the sight of the collapsed buildings up close was exponentially more breathtaking (in a crude horrific kind of way) than the images that filled TV screens across the country. Pictures couldn't begin to capture the sheer...magnitude of it all. But then I realized that the only thing that separated me from many of them was the green pass around my neck. Like me, they felt helpless, small. They got closer to the source of that feeling in an effort to understand it, make sense of it somehow. Many had brought gifts, cards, food, shoes, ANYTHING they could contribute.

Once past the first checkpoint, my parents and I split. I found my way to the relief center and was assigned the temporary job of bringing around trays of necessary items to each of green and white pass checkpoints. I stocked up with hot drinks, red bull, snacks, anything else I could think of from gum to a few cards made by children thanking them for their work and went out for my first tour that night. Through the first stretch of the walk, small buildings obstructed views. But rounding the second corner, buildings gave way to open space, and my feet became two blocks of lead, trapping me where I was standing. I'm not sure how long I stood there, looking. I wasn't even aware of the wetness on my cheeks till one of the national guardsmen came up to me, put a hand on my shoulder and said something I'd never forget: "We need your smile right now, not your tears. Help us remember the good things in life so we don't get swallowed up in the sorrow." He handed me a daisy from a bouquet he'd been given, took a hot chocolate, and resumed his post.

At this point one memory bleeds into another. Drinking red bull after red bull to stay awake. Making rounds (with a smile on my face). Spending time at the chapel (which was wallpapered completely on the inside with hand made cards from children) listening to people who needed someone to listen to them. A policeman who spoke of losing his father. A fireman who didn't speak at all, but sat next to me in a pew in the chapel, and cried on my shoulder. Another who was convinced they had found the body of his best friend. There was beauty in all the horror, too. Watching people work tirelessly in the hope that somehow someone might be alive in there. Seeing people band together and give without asking for anything in return. There was bravery, compassion. By the time 8:00AM rolled around, I felt hollow. Used up in all the pain I had been allowed to share with these people. I went back the next night, and the next weekend, before I had nothing left. Most of the people I had been trying to help were there for months at a time.

Years later, it's that smell I remember the most. I don't know if it was just melted metal or if I could actually smell the bodies like my brain convinced me I could...But clear as if it were yesterday it has remained an imprint in my memories that will always bring me images of how horrible, but also how beautiful this world can be.

 

[billfred]

Posted this on my fb...figured I'd share here as well...

That was nice nef - thanks for sharing.

I rember I was in Budapest the day it happened. It was like 2 in the afternoon and my buddy was reading updates on internet. I finally bolted work early to go watch on CNN at the hotel.

Two days later I flew back home and through Amsterdam and Schippel airport was almost completely empty. Very strange feeling.

I can relate to that smell thing though. I volunteered to sort through body's after the big tsunami in 2004. I will never forget that smell. For the first few days any odor initially smelt like dead bodies to me - shampoo, smoked almonds whatever. Then for a year it was any foul odor like garbage or bad food.

To this day, if something really smells bad, it triggers those memories instantly. (that is why I always make my wife wash up before sexy time - j/k)


Still to this day,

 

[75th]

I was at Ft Lewis. A bunch of us took it in stride, but I know I wasnt the only one who went to the bathroom specifically to shed some tears in private.

My (then) fiance was really down, simply because she knew I would be leaving sooner rather than later. Next thing I know Im heading overseas.

Like most people (I assume), I called nearly everyone I knew...even if they were nowhere near what happened...just to check and make sure they were ok.

 

[bakemeacookie]

I was asleep

c

 

[javaguru]

I was working on a software project....middleware between a company's e-commerce app and their ERP. I kept working which the admin assistant commented about.."How can you work with all of this going on?" My response was simply, "How is my not performing my job going to help the situation?"

 

[shrimp poboy]

I was actually on a treadmill at bally

 

[Melaina]

I was packing for a flight to Newark that I had that afternoon.

Thank you for posting N.

 

[JDid23]

i was in 4th grade... my dad had a meeting on 9/11 with his friend in the trade center, but his friend never called him back so he never went. It would have been on the 93rd floor. He called my mom the second he knew what had happened and my mom picked me up from school.

In one of the days following 9/11, my mom cooked for the fireman down at ground zero and went up there with a senator of NJ who is our neighbor. She said the atmosphere down there was indescribable.

 

[ortiz34]

My brother works downtown for Citrix systems
He was in tower 1 the morning before and on a flight to Delaware earlier that morning

I was at work and saw things on line, but when I went home and saw the destruction on tv I couldn't pull myself away. I have never been so upset and in awe.

RIP to all that lost their life's and their poor families

 

[Cutiebaby]

Wow Nef, very touching.

I was getting ready for the day and had just returned from giving my brother a ride to work. I generally did (still try to) pick up pieces of the morning news before cartoon time. Though that morning I did not put on the news, I called my brother to see if he could do my oil change and my step mother picked up another phone at their house and began freaking out and we could not understand her. All we got was "tv, the tv, the tv". I was paralyzed once I turned on the television, just a moment before the second plane hit. I watched as the plane hit and the tower went down, in horror. With my child asking me what was going on I simply could not answer him. The desperation of the people screaming, crying, and jumping out of windows was all too much to bear.

I am thankful for all of the firemen, police men, and responders who went there that day and lost there lives in attempts to save another. And my heart still today and forever always goes out to all of the people who were lost on that day.

My personal opinion is that it should become a holiday! The whole day...I saw on the news that there are people who are saying that it should no longer be relevant and that there should be no more memorial services and remembrances on 9/11 for the lives that were lost. I feel bad for all those people with that opinion and hope that someday they can find their hearts!