Ladies, I need some advise please

[moto-racer-1]

O.k. to make a long story short, I have a new lady, we have finally moved our relations to the bed room. We have had 3 tremendous love making sessions. The shortest lasting for 45 min. And i CANNOT make her orgasm. If i give her oral, i can, but not with penetration. She says she has NEVER had an orgasm from standard sex, only oral! Not that i mind giving her oral, but i feel she is being cheated out of a good time! This is driving me crazy!!! I've got unusually good stamina and it isnt even phasing her. Has any other women had this problem, or men that have ran into this? How did you handle it? Does anyone have any advise??? I really feel bad for her. Thanks in advance for any help!!!!

 

[moto-racer-1]

some one has to have some advice. I really need some help here!

 

[HighGrade]

hi moto-racer,

congrats on new relationship! : )

does she stimulate herself (clit, nipples - many many nerve endings) while you make love? that may help her get the extra boost she needs in order to climax. also, you may try other positions - like her being on top and facing you.

don't put too much focus on her having an orgasm during intercourse, as it may lead to anxiety for the both of you. key is being open, honest, open-minded, and of course, enjoying each other!

HG

 

[Drew Carey]

one girl I dated had this problem. A way to stimulate her clit while having sex is for you to lay on top of her(her facing you) and have her legs closed. Your legs will be on the outsides of hers. Use a little lube because there will be extra friction. It was weird to do but after awhile I got better at it. I no longer date her but still use that trick on other women. Its a "neat card to pull out of your hat" from time to time.

 

[moto-racer-1]

HighGrade, She hasnt tried any stimulation herself, I believe she might be alittle embarresed, I was gonna ask her (Actually just move her hand to her clit) and she if she would stimulate herself.
I try to play with nips, she seems to enjoy it, but it doesnt quite do the trick. We've tried several positions, and nothing. I was considering asking her about toys ( vibrators and what not ) but i dont wanna embarass her. (or having her think im some sort of freak) Thanks for the input. IT is graetly appreciated.

Drew Carey- I have tried that in the past with a different partner, And you are right, it is a great trick to pull out occasionaly. I forgot about it until you reminded me. My only prob with that is it stimulates me a little to fast. LOL I guess thats why you wait several minutes for the 2nd shift to clock in! I'll give you one guess what i'll be trying this weekend!!! Thanks for the help.

If anyone else has any suggestions I'd love to hear them. All advice will be gladly accepted! Thanks again!

Moto

 

[Drew Carey]

Yeah, its a good way to show her your "O" face, "O O O O"

 

[moto-racer-1]

And thats the truth Bro!!!

 

[gethard1]

My wife tends

to have those type of love making sessions once in a while.
What I do is kneel between her legs and slowly slide it in her and out of her using only 3 or so inches, going very very slowly as the head penetrate, all the time rubbing her clit, but not rubbing it enough to cause her to orgasm that way, just enough to make grab my ass and pull me in tight (like the death grip from hell) as she tells me to fuck her hard and deep...the rest is utter bliss and it is vaginal.

 

[moto-racer-1]

gethard1 - That sounds like it might be a good idea, lightly stimulate her while only giving her just enough to tease her, then when she gets close to orgasm she'll want it hard! Very, very hard!!! Great advice bro!!!

Any one one else out there with a little knowledge on this subject???

 

[gwl9dta4]

Let me tell you from experience, she may be taking anti-depressants. I doubt if she will admit it to you, but that is a very good reason for your problem. It's all in the emotions.

 

[FyreWomanGoddess]

Foreplay and communication.

 

[moto-racer-1]

Thanks everyone for the responses!!! Hopefully i'll be able to figure something out with this info you have passed on. I am BIG on communication, She is having alittle bit of trouble opening up emotionally. I believe she is starting feel comfortable enough to talk with out being embarassed. ( I HOPE)!!!

Thanks again,
moto-racer-1

 

[Grizzly]

Foreplay and communication.

That's not a bad idea. You said that she only orgasms from oral, right? Well, then why not eat her until she's about to come and then stick it in? Although, I don't know if that'll work. I usually lose my wood when I go down because I'm too busy concentrating, but maybe you're different.

 

[Slyder190]

maybe...

Try what Drew said. I might myself when the oppurtunity comes up again. What I would say is this...make sure she's relaxed and don't talk about the whole cumming thing. Make sure there's no pressure for either one of you. Have a lot of foreplay. Get her wanting it. Get her in a dirty mood. I've found it's easier for girls to cum when they are on top. That might work for you. I made my last girl cum for the first time on her back. It took a few months though, till I found the right movement. Get in the missionary postion. Take her legs and put them between your arms, so her feet are in the air. Instead of trying to go in and out. Stick your cock in her as deep as you can and start thrusting up and down, with your cock completely inside her, not coming out while you're moving that way. You can even not move much at all and rock her up and down from that position as well. Try this and post a response as to whether or not it worked for you. Good luck!

 

[alexiarenee]

All I have to say is that my b/f and I had had sex for over 4 years before I orgasmed without any help ( a vibrator )...
The sex is REALLY good when we have it ( like once a month now! ), but I never came. I don't know what but here lately it has hit the right spot and I finally did after 4 years....he was very surprised... So was I...it's not like it wasn't good becuase it WAS....I just never came...
I like vibrators better anyway...they say nothing is better than the real thing, but IMO that's not true!!!

 

[moto-racer-1]

Well, Since my first post, I havent gotten any action. I recently discovered that my lady is still hung up on her ex b.f. And that really sucks cause i dig her alot. I backed off to give her some space, She'll realize what she wants sooner or later, And if im still around, great! If not, I had fun while it lasted. Allthough i'm really hoping she wises up (FAST). Her ex used to beat her and abuse her, Im the nicest guy she's ever been with. Descent looking, Nice Body, good personality, But she says she's still in love with that looser. She wont go back to him, she says, she just needs time to heal. Thats cool i understand that, But one minute she and i are hanging out having fun (kind of a casual date thing) the next minute she feels sad because she feels like she's cheating on her ex. Makes me feel akward as hell. I love being around her but this is starting to get to me. I,m open about it,I can talk about stuff without getting angry, but she cant open up very well. I,m gonna back out and lay low for awhile until she clears her head. What do ya think??? Good idea to lie low or keep hanging around her so she can see how much better i am than this other looser???

Moto

 

[Sassy69]

Moto -

You have a cool attitude about this situation. Why women get hung up on abusive men I will never understand... but it happens all the time so there must be some tendency there. She obviously has some self-confidence problems -- she doesn't respect herself enough to walk away from the bastard & perhaps even file charges.

Ask her if she thinks her ex feels like he's cheating on her when he beats some other woman.

Well.. its something she is trying to deal with -- i think its just human nature to need a period of "mourning" when change occurs after a long period of familiar actions (whether good or bad)... but after that its SOOOO necessary to move forward. I wish her luck.

And you too of course!

 

[Raina]

I agree with Sassy completely. Even if a relationship sucked, there's still a mourning period. You can't just "flip off" all those emotions (wouldn't it be nice if we could).

I was also going to say that as a female who is normally really orgasmic, all that goes away on most anti-depressants for me. I've very frustrating for me and my partner. If that issue ever comes up and you're in a position where you can openly talk about it, encourge her to tell her dr. I've tried multiple anti-depressants and have found one that for me, doesn't effect me sexually.

Best of luck to you. Your attitude is really impressive to me- it's awesome that you're being so understanding.

Kate

 

[Slyder190]

Drop her!

Drop her all together. If she was with a guy who beat her, her dad probably beat her or her mom, and that's what she'll seek without counceling. You're in a bad spot either way. You don't wanna be with some chick still hung up on her ex, you're doomed from the start. I would just go my own way and not talk to her anymore. Don't feel like a bad person, it's for the best, and if she makes you feel bad, brush it off. Trust me on this one bro.

 

[moto-racer-1]

SASSY69 and Raina,
thanks for responding, The next time i can tell shes in a shitty mood i'm gonna ask if her ex feels like he's cheating on her when he's beating another woman! I fell in love with her the first time i meet her, i've never done that before, EVER, i'm not after cheap and sleezy or a one night stand. I want a commitment with a deep meaningful friendship. I have backed way off, taking several hours to return a phone call, and making her call me or ask me to go grab a bite to eat or somthing. I still show a little intrest and enthusiasm (sp), but i dont go overboard any more. I seen her tonight for the first time in almost a week, grab some chinease food and watched a movie at her new house. I had a great time, we talked about childhood mermories and school and what not. Mostly small talk.

slyder ,
I know her folks pretty well, Her brother is one of my best friends. I know her family didnt abuse her, They are great people. Actually her Bro told me the same thing, Drop her! If she straightens her head out she'll call ya, if not, her loss. I agree with that, but i really dig her and am hoping to make a good friendship out of this. For now i'm just playing low key. I'll give it another couple weeks, If i dont start to see a little improvement i'll keep backing off until i'm gone. All though tonight she really opened up alot, about child hood stuff and a couple of old relationships (not the one with this last looser though). i left her place feeling a little better than i have been, She wants me to go to dinner tomarrow night with her family (Bro's b-day). I'll probably tell her no. I appreciate the reply though bro. Any opinions i can get is something for me to consider and weigh out my options, be it good, bad, or indifferent.

Moto

 

[Juice Moose]

Take a shit in apair of nylons and beat her across her back with it, cause some people are into that, if that doesn't work, spit on your dick and shove it in her ass, if you do it right she wont know if she is cumming or going!!

 

[moto-racer-1]

I hear ya Juice Moose, I have felt like doing just that (shitting in her nylons), But thats not my demeaner. All though it would probably make me feel alittle better when i was done .