maybe you need to try these first times with a more....shall we say.....'willing' partner. From personal experience, I have found that, if the lights are out, and the receiver is on their stomach with butt up, and some hot porn is playing in the background, that the pitcher really is not able to tell the difference between the butt of a female and one of a male; in most cases. Clean, shaved, hairless and tight; what more could you ask for. lol