Jealous of my ex

[riverrock]

I have a feeling that my Mrs is a little jealous about the fact I had a few different GF's before her that were serious relationships. She was in different relationships too, but I couldn't care less.

However, with her, it seems to be a case of "Well, you finished with them, so how do I know you won't eventually finish with me as well". I never want to do that. I think she's especially jealous about a particular girl I was with a few years ago and only knew about her when I stupidly answered a series of probing questions.

How can you convince someone not to be jealous as she shouldn't be? I love her

 

[H_T_]

most women aren't cool with the fact that another woman had what she's having now. lots of complex feelings going on there. maybe if you just asked her "why"?

 

[riverrock]

most women aren't cool with the fact that another woman had what she's having now. lots of complex feelings going on there. maybe if you just asked her "why"?

I kind of prefer to leave it. It rarely becomes an issue, but when it does its generally a big one. I couldn't dare speak with my ex as it would spark a guaranteed row later on.

 

[theoak01]

best not to talk of past relationships,because if there is a postive thing in a past relationship that just isnt in this particular one,she may grow to resent she isnt getting that from you.

trust me Ive had this happen,its fucking bullshit

 

[Dial_tone]

She finished with her ex's too. How do you know she won't leave you? Trust is a two way street.

 

[riverrock]

Yes, I know that. You guys are right, any knowledge of before is a bad thing. Just best to concentrate on the present.

 

[Hiatussin]

If she asks just answer honestly. She shouldn´t be asking, but not lying is even more important

dont ask shit you dont want to know

if you ask how many before me it doesnt matter if she says 312 or 1, its gonna bother you that you´re not the first.

 

[HiDnGoD]

I know how many my wife had , & she know's how many I'd had. It's no big deal, we're together now, that's all that matters.

 

[jnevin]

Buy a dog.

 

[SoKlueles]

I dont like hearing about his exes especially one

 

[riverrock]

I dont like hearing about his exes especially one

Because your jealous, or just don't like her at all?

 

[SoKlueles]

Because your jealous, or just don't like her at all?

both
i have insecurities about her
I think alot of it has to do with the past and how she came and went

 

[SoKlueles]

actually now that i think about it....its just her. Shes the one hes had a bigger past with than any of them. and id love to hear that she got married or moved out of country

 

[hamstershaver]

actually now that i think about it....its just her. Shes the one hes had a bigger past with than any of them. and id love to hear that she got married or moved out of country

dangggggggggg

 

[SoKlueles]

dangggggggggg

well i thought of worse but I didnt want to put it out there

 

[MarieGal]

i would assume that one of her ex's left her for a former girlfriend or possibly cheated on her with an ex. Ask her why she is feeling this way. You and I both know that no one likes to feel insecure so she is probably a little ashamed. Just let her know that it's normal to have a little insecurities now and you totally understand how she feels then but they shouldnt be a big problem with your relationship. Try not to get mad at her or get defensive....just listen to her and tell her that time will prove you to be the one
Good Luck

 

[HiDnGoD]

You and I both know that no one likes to feel insecure so she is probably a little ashamed. Just let her know that it's normal to have a little insecurities now and you totally understand how she feels then but they shouldnt be a big problem with your relationship. Try not to get mad at her or get defensive....just listen to her and tell her that time will prove you to be the one
Good Luck

I've been married over twenty friggin years & still insecurities crop up. I've found, for us anyways, these things come and go, depending on other things going on in our lives.
All we can do is listen, try to understand, & reinforce the positive.

 

[migcor]

If she's really jealous and somewhat insecure your gonna have your hands full with that one.I was with a girl like that and she never changed jealous till the last fuggin day.IMO its just a form of manipulation so that your constatntly reassuring tellin them not worry.Next thing you know there callin you all the time to see were you are,who ur with get extremely upset if u just glance at another chick.It just gets out of control!

 

[nycgirl]

It has to do with insecurity and jealousy. I don't think knowledge of before is a bad thing. Everyone has a history.

There are no guarantees when it comes to relationships (or anything for that matter)Everything has an expiration date. People come into our lives for different reasons and are meant to be there for certain amounts of time. Some relationships last until the death of one person (or both), some relationships last for years, some last for months, weeks & days. That's life.

The only thing you can do is focus on the present and work hard so that you have a future together. In order to do that, you have to let go of the past.