Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is similar to a drug dealer calling the cops when he gets robbed?

[jh1]

I will make you a sandwhich anyday. I'd like to do it to you

FIXED!


Hey.. wait... TF... come back... I gotta ask you something about this weekend... hit me up on email or PM me...

 

[Smurfy]

I'd listen to what PitbillSTL said, and that's about it.

Carry on.

 

[jackangel]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

suck a bag of dicks

oy...i was talking about something completely unrelated...something on TV at the time.

you midget-felching midget-felcher.

 

[jh1]

I'd listen to what PitbillSTL said, and that's about it.

Carry on.

Yeah... good orb. I beleive in what he has said. Alot of other say the same... if I feel it's an issue I should just go for full custody.

Wow... maybe that's the case. I don't know. Maybe I am just too damn scared to face doing this alone. I also feel like that's a big step... to take this to a custody battle in court and drag everyone through the mud. Her family is my family and I'd hate to see them go through that and I am not sure what type of relationship we'd all have after that. I know my daughter has to be number one...

It's simply more complicated than a black and white thing... either she has a drug problme or she doesn't. Either you go for full custody or you don't. Even courts have more grey area than that... if there is someone that is fully commiting to recovering - if we can pressure her to do this - there can still be shared custody, etc. There are verying degrees of drug problems too.

There are people that hang out in boarded up houses smoking crack / doing meth for weeks on end, and there are people that like to go out and 'party' with coke late into the night but other than that are pretty normal functional folks. There are people in between that need a little encouragement, even pressure - maybe even threats of legal action - to get cleaned up.

Someone said something to the affect of - if you really think she is going to be blowing lines of a your daughter's bassinet, then you should go for full cusotdy - as if I might be 'making this all up' or exaggerating it for my own advantage. No.... I don't think she is doing lines of my daughter's bassinet - of course it woudln't even be a question what I would have to do in a case like that. There are degrees of addiction and degrees of how dangerious one's behaviors are.

I am trying to meet the issue, the problem with and equal and opposite reactiion in hopes to solve it without destroying relationships with her family, and yes - even with the mother of my child. Through the ashes of all this - if my daughter is to have a mother - we are going to have to foster some type of working relationship.

I don't feel any of this makes me a bad dad, certainly not a deadbeat dad as some have suggested... some have even suggested I may not even want anything to do with my daughter or not 'pay' for the children I have... which is all completely fucking rediculous. My daughter is well provided for, and it all comes from money that this guy earns and glady uses to provide for her.

 

[Smurfy]

It is only you who knows what is truly going on in your particular situation. No one here knows you or the wife or the dynamic between you two, or how any of this will play out. So, stick to moving through the process in as logical and mature a manner as possible (every effort being made to not get sucked into whatever emotional drama or whateve else your wife tries to manipulate you with) with the main focus being on your daughter, and her best interests and well-being. If you focus intently on those very important things, and avoid all that tries to sway you away from that focus, you will come out better in the end, and so will your daughter.

 

[gotmilk]

Awww...such a cutie!

He means making you a man-sandwich...he provides the mayo

 

[jackangel]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

It is only you who knows what is truly going on in your particular situation. No one here knows you or the wife or the dynamic between you two, or how any of this will play out. So, stick to moving through the process in as logical and mature a manner as possible (every effort being made to not get sucked into whatever emotional drama or whateve else your wife tries to manipulate you with) with the main focus being on your daughter, and her best interests and well-being. If you focus intently on those very important things, and avoid all that tries to sway you away from that focus, you will come out better in the end, and so will your daughter.

uh, i'm pretty sure heatherrae knows exactly what's going on in his life...she has, after all, read many of his posts.

what else could be required???

 

[heatherrae]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

uh, i'm pretty sure heatherrae knows exactly what's going on in his life...she has, after all, read many of his posts.

what else could be required???

Just did like 1000 of these representing every party possible. I probably have an above average feel for these things just from familiarity.

 

[jh1]

Re: Is my wife using the legal system to leverage me for money in our divorce is simi

Just did like 1000 of these representing every party possible. I probably have an above average feel for these things just from familiarity.

Coupled with the perspective of a woman with a baby brewing and a guy she'll probably have to fight to get child support from.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Yeah... good orb. I beleive in what he has said. Alot of other say the same... if I feel it's an issue I should just go for full custody.

Wow... maybe that's the case. I don't know. Maybe I am just too damn scared to face doing this alone. I also feel like that's a big step... to take this to a custody battle in court and drag everyone through the mud. Her family is my family and I'd hate to see them go through that and I am not sure what type of relationship we'd all have after that. I know my daughter has to be number one...

It's simply more complicated than a black and white thing... either she has a drug problme or she doesn't. Either you go for full custody or you don't. Even courts have more grey area than that... if there is someone that is fully commiting to recovering - if we can pressure her to do this - there can still be shared custody, etc. There are verying degrees of drug problems too.

There are people that hang out in boarded up houses smoking crack / doing meth for weeks on end, and there are people that like to go out and 'party' with coke late into the night but other than that are pretty normal functional folks. There are people in between that need a little encouragement, even pressure - maybe even threats of legal action - to get cleaned up.

Someone said something to the affect of - if you really think she is going to be blowing lines of a your daughter's bassinet, then you should go for full cusotdy - as if I might be 'making this all up' or exaggerating it for my own advantage. No.... I don't think she is doing lines of my daughter's bassinet - of course it woudln't even be a question what I would have to do in a case like that. There are degrees of addiction and degrees of how dangerious one's behaviors are.

I am trying to meet the issue, the problem with and equal and opposite reactiion in hopes to solve it without destroying relationships with her family, and yes - even with the mother of my child. Through the ashes of all this - if my daughter is to have a mother - we are going to have to foster some type of working relationship.

I don't feel any of this makes me a bad dad, certainly not a deadbeat dad as some have suggested... some have even suggested I may not even want anything to do with my daughter or not 'pay' for the children I have... which is all completely fucking rediculous. My daughter is well provided for, and it all comes from money that this guy earns and glady uses to provide for her.

This is the most well-thought out and positive post I have seen from you to date.

Continue to think along these lines and you and your daughter will be just fine. You CANT leave her mother out in the cold. Taking custody from an addict until she gets her shit together is NOT "leaving her out in the cold". It is a wake-up call and what both the mother and your child deserves.

Just because she isnt doing lines off your daughter's bassinet doesnt mean she doesnt have a serious problem.

One of the first things that I did when I lost my girls was question what was wrong with me that I ALLOWED "all of this to happen". And what I came up with after intensive therapy that there was nothing wrong with me all along.... but for the fact that I refused to accept and see what a monster my ex-husband was. I have spent the last 3+ years trying to rectify this mistake. Luckily, I fixed my head and now I have A GOOD MAN by my side to help me with the fight; someone who will be there when my broken children come to our home.

I grow to love him for his sacrifices more and more each day.

Move past your pain and one day you will find a good woman for you AND your daughter someday too.... Who knows maybe she is your daughter's mother (and no, I dont mean romantically... but as a co-parent).