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Is it possible to have a perfect body, a healthy lifestyle, AND a HEART???
- Thread starter SteelWeaver
- Start date
Once I quit drinking, I realized sitting in a bar with friends wasn't as much fun (at a bar not drinking, and afterward to a restaurant to not eat). I got (and still get) the uptight bitch treatment on occasion. But I figure if I have to be drunk for them to be fun, there's a million better things to do anyway. I go out once in a while, but I know there's no point in ruining everyone's fun if I am going to be grumpy about being out in the first place. Dragonmona is spot on - People just have to get used to a new you.
JJFigure
New member
I agree with Spatts - it's a good way to find out who your real friends are. Of course, in my case it helps that my friends and I are all 30+ and have fairly involved work lives. Most of us are consultants (traveling some amount of the time), so we get used to blowing each other off without taking it personally.
I'd write off the people who call you heartless - if they care about you, they'll understand how important it is to you to excel at your sport.
I'd write off the people who call you heartless - if they care about you, they'll understand how important it is to you to excel at your sport.
I really AM heartless. Competition level bodybuilding is not an endeavour you can succeed at with half-hearted effort. You HAVE to put yourself into it 100%. It is the ultimate in selfish sports. BUT, you are not on a competition diet your whole life (hopefully) and your real friends should understand that you're just going into a kinda social hybernation until your competition finishes. After that, you may still not wish to go out binge drinking and stuffing your face with them, but if they're good friends then presumably you still have some common ground to share. Personally I only have friends that fit my lifestyle. I have hiking buddies and climbing buddies and kayaking buddies and bodybuilding buddies. So excess food, smoking and drinking has never really been a part of my socail life. Family is another matter. You can't choose 'em so you just have to get them to understand and accept that this is the way it is indefinitely.
circusgirl
New member
A lot of people don't like it when you do a diet and training regime that WORKS. It reminds them that if they got off the couch, made that 45mins of training time 5 days a week, heck even went jogging in their lunch hour, they would have a healthier body and be less fatigued all the time.
Since I have embraced a healthy lifestyle with plenty sports and sleep (about 3 years ago -lifting is a lot more recent) I am SO MUCH LESS TIRED. This pisses off people who find perky folks at 8am a tad irritating
Also, people will be jealous of your motivation - you are willing to sacrifice the time, ebergy and mental effort to organise your meals, do your shopping, get to the gym, cook, etc the way YOU want it. Your life is the way YOU want it too.
So many people feel trapped in their circumstances and lack the self-esteem to believe they CAN change, so they take it out on others. They then feel uneasy around you, because this reminds them of how little they value themselves - ever notice how the unhappy and insecure always bitch out the happy and confident behind their backs? Not everyone is like this, but many are.
If someone you care about is avoiding you, sitting down for a heart to heart talk could help, explaining that you have not dumped your friends for your healthy lifestyle, but that this is a SPORT and not just looking in the mirror and that all athletes have to pay attention to food, training etc. Ask them if they would feel the same if you were a pro soccer player or distance runner.
If they have a hobby they feel passionate about, mention that their stamp collecting/hockey watching/golf club is as important to them as bbing is to you, cast it in terms they can understand.
Folks who don't matter, fuck 'em.
Since I have embraced a healthy lifestyle with plenty sports and sleep (about 3 years ago -lifting is a lot more recent) I am SO MUCH LESS TIRED. This pisses off people who find perky folks at 8am a tad irritating
Also, people will be jealous of your motivation - you are willing to sacrifice the time, ebergy and mental effort to organise your meals, do your shopping, get to the gym, cook, etc the way YOU want it. Your life is the way YOU want it too.
So many people feel trapped in their circumstances and lack the self-esteem to believe they CAN change, so they take it out on others. They then feel uneasy around you, because this reminds them of how little they value themselves - ever notice how the unhappy and insecure always bitch out the happy and confident behind their backs? Not everyone is like this, but many are.
If someone you care about is avoiding you, sitting down for a heart to heart talk could help, explaining that you have not dumped your friends for your healthy lifestyle, but that this is a SPORT and not just looking in the mirror and that all athletes have to pay attention to food, training etc. Ask them if they would feel the same if you were a pro soccer player or distance runner.
If they have a hobby they feel passionate about, mention that their stamp collecting/hockey watching/golf club is as important to them as bbing is to you, cast it in terms they can understand.
Folks who don't matter, fuck 'em.
circusgirl
New member
ps my mom IS smaller than me and it IS annoying !!!!!
Lots of people don't understand the lifestyle that I choose...actually very few do. I hope that I never give up those who are closest to me so that I can attain my dream though...
Some things are worth giving up so that I can live my dream...others are not.
B True
Some things are worth giving up so that I can live my dream...others are not.
B True
Why Yes!
Of course you can have a heart and train hard & look good. That is .............................................................................................
unless
they
get
in
the
way
of
my
training
OR
they
get
in
front
of
my
mirror
while
I'm
Admiring
myself
Then, I'll just have to kick their ass!
Of course you can have a heart and train hard & look good. That is .............................................................................................
unless
they
get
in
the
way
of
my
training
OR
they
get
in
front
of
my
mirror
while
I'm
Admiring
myself
Then, I'll just have to kick their ass!
SteelWeaver
New member
Wow - there are some really, really quality responses here. Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts. Now if only THIS were my off-line community ...
On reflection, I'm realising that some of what's happening here is part of the the natural flux of my life - I am at a point of change - just out of my twenties, moving back home after 8 years as an expat, going back to school. Expat life is strangely transient anyway - people come and go - so the old-timers tend to form ... interesting relationships. In a way I suppose BB kind of taking over my life is part of the process of moving me forward, and is intimately connected to the decisions I've taken about which way to go. I guess ultimately these relationships were destined to be temporary anyway - I have some forever ones, but those ones aren't at question here. Maybe it's just hard to come to the end of a microcycle ...
You have a really good point, circusgirl, about what people would say were it another sport. I think for the large majority of people, BB is all about vanity, and maybe for many BB's it IS about that, but it also goes SOOOOooo much deeper - and this is something I just absolutely cannot explain to someone who hasn't ever pushed themselves beyond pain, beyond thought, beyond anything they thought their bodies/minds capable of. I used to try and express it, but now I just don't talk about bb'ing anymore with most people. MS, you're right - if one gets too ... erm, excited talking about it, they start squirming, and one ends up feeling stupid. Now I just rattle around in my own head mostly, driving myself crazy.
Spatts: "I live my life like this, if you want to be part of it, work with me. Otherwise, ta ta. I guess I'm saying I'm a heartless, and selfish, but without the guilt." See, this is what got me into trouble in the first place. Others would like ME to adjust for them as much as I would like THEM to adjust for ME. But the adjustments possible on a comp. diet are miniscule compared to how the average joe can adjust, thus the friction. I appear heartless because I won't adjust. And while I don't feel guilty about it, I do feel unfairly accused, and sad that that is the perception.
BUT, fuck it, that's the way the cookie crumbles and I'm in this 100%, so .... on to new frontiers.
On reflection, I'm realising that some of what's happening here is part of the the natural flux of my life - I am at a point of change - just out of my twenties, moving back home after 8 years as an expat, going back to school. Expat life is strangely transient anyway - people come and go - so the old-timers tend to form ... interesting relationships. In a way I suppose BB kind of taking over my life is part of the process of moving me forward, and is intimately connected to the decisions I've taken about which way to go. I guess ultimately these relationships were destined to be temporary anyway - I have some forever ones, but those ones aren't at question here. Maybe it's just hard to come to the end of a microcycle ...
You have a really good point, circusgirl, about what people would say were it another sport. I think for the large majority of people, BB is all about vanity, and maybe for many BB's it IS about that, but it also goes SOOOOooo much deeper - and this is something I just absolutely cannot explain to someone who hasn't ever pushed themselves beyond pain, beyond thought, beyond anything they thought their bodies/minds capable of. I used to try and express it, but now I just don't talk about bb'ing anymore with most people. MS, you're right - if one gets too ... erm, excited talking about it, they start squirming, and one ends up feeling stupid. Now I just rattle around in my own head mostly, driving myself crazy.
Spatts: "I live my life like this, if you want to be part of it, work with me. Otherwise, ta ta. I guess I'm saying I'm a heartless, and selfish, but without the guilt." See, this is what got me into trouble in the first place. Others would like ME to adjust for them as much as I would like THEM to adjust for ME. But the adjustments possible on a comp. diet are miniscule compared to how the average joe can adjust, thus the friction. I appear heartless because I won't adjust. And while I don't feel guilty about it, I do feel unfairly accused, and sad that that is the perception.
BUT, fuck it, that's the way the cookie crumbles and I'm in this 100%, so .... on to new frontiers.
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