Is it possible to have a perfect body, a healthy lifestyle, AND a HEART???

[SteelWeaver]

OK, I've been called a heartless bitch once too many times now. Anyone else have this problem? You discover bodybuilding and everything that goes with it - the nutrition, the time, the planning, the studying - and you rearrange all your priorities in your life to reflect your new path in life. AND, you find a deep joy and contentment that will not go away.

THEN, people you love dearly suddenly start calling you a heartless, cruel, selfish bitch, when deep down you're still the same caring, charming loving person you always were, but just with different priorities.

WTF???

Can one not be a strong, focussed, ambitious, ummm, obsessed person without losing one's heart?

 

[Pink Space Biscuit]

I think people are a more important part of life than getting every meal in and workout in. I guess if you just show the people close to you that they still matter, sure you can have a heart. If you tell your friend no sorry it's leg night, can't come to your graduation, then sure that's being a heartless bitch. I guess it's all in your approach.

Now if these people are being all pissy because you want to eat chicken instead of cake, then fuck em. They should care enough about you to allow for your little quirks, since we all know not eating sticks of butter is a quirk.

 

[MS]

It just comes down to priorities. If being obsessed with your body and training is more important to you than being the life of the party, then get on with achieving your goals. However almost NOBODY likes change when it comes to friends and family. It seems to be a fact of human nature. So you could say that people's reaction to your change in priorities and lifestyle is just part of the package. Also remember that a lot of people (who claim to be your friends) feel threatened when they sense you are achieving your goals and dreams when they're just sitting and spinning their wheels. Of course it's also only natural that you have less time (and desire) to spend with people that are not part of achieving your new goals. And it's easy to make other people feel guilty about their own lifestyles if you are too evangelical about yours.

And let's face it, competition bodybuilding is just plain sick as far as sports go.

Is this a problem with new people you meet, or just the oldies??

 

[KBgrl]

I slowly find myself surrounded by more body builders than non bb's and I think its because people who dont bb just DO NOT understand people who do. It effects so many facets of a persons life that only a person who has lived or is living that type of life could really understand. I found this one out as relationships with non-bb's were harder than those with bb's. its life I guess. we're all obssessed freaks. welcome home.

luv u miss u --
me

 

[Ceebs]

Juding by the quality of replies in this thread so far, I'd say it IS possible to have a heart and pursue a bodybuilding lifestyle.

It helps to surround yourself with people who are similarly health-conscious. Not obsessed, just conscious. I think it speaks to someone's character to enjoy activity/excercise for the sheer joy of it. Fitness to me is as much about the mind-body connection as it is the aesthetics, and I would have a hard time relating to someone - and therefore palling around with them - who didn't respect their body.

 

[Sassy69]

I think its totally possible - its very close to the same thing as a person pursuing a goal of a particular line of work or any other goal that requires a heart & soul devotion. I will admit that when I did my first competition I was pretty obsessed with the whole thing because it was very novel to me and also sort of a kick to be able to tell people I was competing. The second time I just didn't make such a big deal of it all. I set aside a particular night to go out, I identified certain restaurants where I could get "competition" food and didn't mention it so much. In my life "before bb" if I didnt' tell people what I was doing when I got home from work, it wasnt' a big deal. Why should it be a big deal now? There are still times when your lifestyle limits you, and thats when you have to turn to yourself or else identify who your real friends are. Its just as easy to say, "I'd love to go out w/ you, but I need some sleep" or suggest a picnic where you can bring your own food, or whatever. I've even gone out w/ a full cooler of stuff and gone out to the car from the club when it was feeding time. I don't feel the need to drink to make my friends feel more comfortable and if its that important to them, I'll get a bottle of water and tell them I'm "rolling" (doing "X"). Whatever it takes to make it less of a deal.

If you can find a group of people into bb, then go with it. However keep in mind that there's plenty of fucked up people in bb. I've found it to be a very "addictive" crowd who often have their own pile of issues to deal with and go deeper into an obsessive lifestyle as a result. I dont' think its necessary to go that far in. But especially if you have particular goals in mind, such as competition, all you can do is focus on what you have to do. To be honest, I got first got involved in muscle chats in order to help pass time to my next meal while prepping for a competition. I met plenty of weirdos but also met some really cool people and also helped a lot of people and learned alot. And look where I ended up --- EF!

 

[dragonmona]

I believe you have the heart you always did, otherwise you would not be upset by their words.

A little over a year and a half ago I was a size 13. When I started bb, and all that it encomasses, my body started changing rapidly. I got down to a size 3. The same people that I had been working with for almost eight years wouldn't talk to me anymore. I was the same person I always was, except I didn't want to go to Burger King and the like with them anymore. A manager asked a woman, whom I used to be very close to, where I was and she responded, "She is probably in the bathroom looking at herself."

I even had to deal with these issues at home. My teenage daughter became very negative about my new lifestyle. After about six months we got into a heated discussion and she said, "My mom is not supposed to be smaller than me."

I have changed jobs and no longer have to deal with that. Thank goodness! And now my daughter brags to her friends about how "buff" her mother is.

Give it time.....the ones that matter will come around.

Luck!
dm

 

[SteelWeaver]

Umm, yeah - that's not the point. It's not about time, although that, obviously, plays a part. Having a full-time job, a one-hour each way commute, no car, a mini-fridge, no freezer, what's basically a camping stove, having to shop and cook every day because of lack of storage space, and being veggie does make the practical part more time-consuming.

But it's not really about that - I think it's about the fact that my choices for how to run my life, and everything that that life(style) entails, are now pretty much at polar opposites from what they used to be, and from what my friends' are.

I guess I'm just being made to feel guilty about my choices. When I choose not to go out, because I need my sleep, or because the longer I'm awake, the hungrier I am, and the longer I have to deal with being hungry (and thus grumpy), people feel that I'm rejecting THEM, and that I'm weighing the pleasure of spending time with them against my desire to sleep (which, of course, I can do LATER, like everyone else, can't I - just pull an all-nighter!). I suppose there aren't many people who'd like to think they are less interesting than sleep, or cooking brocolli or chick peas. They just can't understand that I CAN'T pull an all-nighter - I can't cope on less sleep than I already get, that I am fricking HUNGRY all the time, that having to sit in a restaurant and watch them eat, EVEN if I take my own food, which I've done, is unnecessary torture. That even if I sit there, I won't be able to concentrate on THEM completely, so I may as well not be there.

Mainly I just want to get on with my goals, throw myself in completely, and the people who have known me a while are wondering where I suddenly went, and why they suddenly don't seem to feature in my life. They still want me to be there for them, but not as this new person. I'm not there mentally and emotionally in the same way anymore. I feel like I just can't GIVE like I used to - not intensely. It's easier if you just spread it lightly around ...

I dunno - I'm confused. I'm upset at being called heartless for following my goals with intense passion. I feel sad that some people I love are getting left behind. There's no connection anymore. I feel like I can't talk about my passion at all, because no-one understands, and they get bored - and ONLY talking about what others find interesting gets trying after a while.

I've just got to roll with the punches, huh? And follow my heart. Life is flux. I'll know soon enough what's worth what, I guess. If it's heartless, then heartless I'll be ...

Thanks for the "heart-y" responses <groan>

 

[rez]

and being veggie just makes it all seem that much more time-consuming.

On another note..
SW, are you vegie b/c you dont like the taste of meat or animal rights stuff?
I used to be vegie (for 2 yrs) and Im so glad ive converted. It was probably the hardest diet to be on..hard for me and for friends/ family. Have you ever thought of trying a little 'white' meat? Turkey, chicken etc.
Its been the best diet choice ive made.
I still dont eat red meat..but never say never.

 

[Robert Jan]

BB is so small in holland that i have never met a person serious about it here except maybe a few men who were like in their late 40s

my gym has a high rate of stupidity, crime and lots of immigrants (not saying those are related but theyre usually the same places)