ironwings journal *

[ironwings]

Disempowering it is. I find it to be ridiculous but necessary at this point.

I have always cycled carbs based on my activity for the day. This works really well for my energy levels and allows me to have more carbs on days that I work 12 + hours physically. I've backed off that a bit and the past 7 weeks have been pretty steady each day. I have been conscious of macros but have not tracked them - only calories. Next week I'll be 6 weeks out and had planned to be more precise about macros.

The cravings I can completely control. Thank goodness. If anything, the last 7 weeks have taught me that. I have starred at numerous cheesecakes, sat with others while they feasted on desert, deprived myself of mayn simple pleasures like a wasa cracker and peanut butter. I have taught my mind that it does not have control of my cravings. I'm at the point now that no matter what I eat, I really don't crave anything. Except calories ;-)

I think I'll stick with the more even steven macros and just be very precise. I'll do this for the next 3 weeks and see where I am.

Thandie - I'll PM you the workbook I'm using. It has some rethought macro calculations in it. As you guys already know I really struggle in eating the same things everyday. Instead, I have a list of food/meals that I pull from. This allows me to have a lot of flexibility but keep within my calorie limits and macros. You'll see what I'm talking about when you flip through the book. You'll also see some of my weight flucuations.

I'd love your thoughts. Although I am squirming at the thought of having to do this for 7 weeks, I will do anything for 7 weeks. I think. And, I'll know that it will not be sustainable and that is ok too.

Just a quick history since mid March:

I have gained 1" in my shoulder width, lost 1/2" in my arms, 1/2" in waist, 1/2" hips, 1/2" calves.

I started at 19% bodyfat and 135lbs

March 22: 18% bf, 131lbs
April 4: 15% bf, 128lbs
April 8: 16% bf, 129lb
April 12: 15% bf, 131lbs
April 15th: 14.8% bf, 134lbs

That will give you an idea of my flucuations.

Oh and Thandie - you know better than to ask if I'm drinking a gallon of water! Good lord. I'm floating away on 84 - 92oz. I'm working on it for you thought. Right now I'm at 48 and my stomach looks like it could explode. LOL

Lastly, I'm feeling in better spirits today (although my weight is up to where I started 7 weeks ago!!!!). I have made my recomposition way TOO big of a deal. If I'm not ready at the end of May I'll have some upper body shots done (where it seems to be no problem to be rock hard and veiny) and a video with my fully clothed in workout gear and be done with it. The other stuff can come whenever I'm ready.

Keep the advice coming. Thandie, I'd love to work with you to do some meal planning for my 6 weeks. Take a look at my spreadsheet and we can discuss.

muah

 

[Thandie]

Disempowering it is. I find it to be ridiculous but necessary at this point.

I have always cycled carbs based on my activity for the day. This works really well for my energy levels and allows me to have more carbs on days that I work 12 + hours physically. I've backed off that a bit and the past 7 weeks have been pretty steady each day. I have been conscious of macros but have not tracked them - only calories. Next week I'll be 6 weeks out and had planned to be more precise about macros.

The cravings I can completely control. Thank goodness. If anything, the last 7 weeks have taught me that. I have starred at numerous cheesecakes, sat with others while they feasted on desert, deprived myself of mayn simple pleasures like a wasa cracker and peanut butter. I have taught my mind that it does not have control of my cravings. I'm at the point now that no matter what I eat, I really don't crave anything. Except calories ;-)

I think I'll stick with the more even steven macros and just be very precise. I'll do this for the next 3 weeks and see where I am.

Thandie - I'll PM you the workbook I'm using. It has some rethought macro calculations in it. As you guys already know I really struggle in eating the same things everyday. Instead, I have a list of food/meals that I pull from. This allows me to have a lot of flexibility but keep within my calorie limits and macros. You'll see what I'm talking about when you flip through the book. You'll also see some of my weight flucuations.

I'd love your thoughts. Although I am squirming at the thought of having to do this for 7 weeks, I will do anything for 7 weeks. I think. And, I'll know that it will not be sustainable and that is ok too.

Just a quick history since mid March:

I have gained 1" in my shoulder width, lost 1/2" in my arms, 1/2" in waist, 1/2" hips, 1/2" calves.

I started at 19% bodyfat and 135lbs

March 22: 18% bf, 131lbs
April 4: 15% bf, 128lbs
April 8: 16% bf, 129lb
April 12: 15% bf, 131lbs
April 15th: 14.8% bf, 134lbs

That will give you an idea of my flucuations.

Oh and Thandie - you know better than to ask if I'm drinking a gallon of water! Good lord. I'm floating away on 84 - 92oz. I'm working on it for you thought. Right now I'm at 48 and my stomach looks like it could explode. LOL

Lastly, I'm feeling in better spirits today (although my weight is up to where I started 7 weeks ago!!!!). I have made my recomposition way TOO big of a deal. If I'm not ready at the end of May I'll have some upper body shots done (where it seems to be no problem to be rock hard and veiny) and a video with my fully clothed in workout gear and be done with it. The other stuff can come whenever I'm ready.

Keep the advice coming. Thandie, I'd love to work with you to do some meal planning for my 6 weeks. Take a look at my spreadsheet and we can discuss.

muah

There's no doubt in my mind that not only you have done a tremendous progress, but that you continue to (even though it doesn't appear to).
But, when it comes to fitness and dieting, there's always room for improvement. So, when things were working perfectly for you now it appears it no longer works. No big deal, though! Is just a matter of moving to the next level.

Think about it this way. When we are on a transition and moving to forward, it appears we're going backwards and not advancing, when in fact we are. You're in a transition of moving your body (and mind) forward. You are in a great place. Believe me! If you weren't frustrated and feeling stuck, you would have been in the same place you were. Not a bad place, but a step back. Do you see where I'm going. You are doing amazing!!!!!!

I'll get to the PM..

 

[ironwings]

Thanks Thandie. I absolutely agree (particularly with my diet). I knew at some point I'd have to join the club ;-)

I have made progress, which I'm proud of. But it hasn't met my expectations - you know how that goes. I knew I was a little bottom heavy but my goodness. I think mostly it is simply frustrating to not know what is going on with my body. Those that are close to me are advising that my over training and underfeeding have simply played havoc on my hormones and mental state.

I'm working on it ;-) Thanks for the mentoring....I'm ready for the big time. My glutes need to be rock hard in 7 weeks ;-) LOL

 

[ironwings]

Thandie - I'm really struggling with how many calories to take in. My maintenance is around 2300 (due to my physical job and training). At that level my weight is constant.

The 1800 felt like I was starving but after about 2 weeks I had adjusted. When I went to 1600 I felt miserable and my weight started fluctuating. I was exhausted all of the time, my workouts were terrible compared to previously etc. That has been going on for about 3 weeks. I'm not as hungry but I am exhausted and my training is still suffering.

Thoughts? Should I just suck it up and adjust? I definitely do not need to build anymore muscle and my training is programmed for that.

And...as a quick second note. I have not slept through the night in probably 3 or 4 years. Yep - no exaggeration there. I could run off of adrenaline and feel great. No matter what my sleep was like I could hop out of bed at 5:30 and get on with my day. Could rarely nap. I have been sleeping through the night for 2 weeks now (made some adjustments in the bedroom and working on the mind). Funny thing is, I felt better when I wasn't sleeping. Crazy! I am thankful though the be getting a healthy full night's rest. It is about time!

 

[Thandie]

Thandie - I'm really struggling with how many calories to take in. My maintenance is around 2300 (due to my physical job and training). At that level my weight is constant.

The 1800 felt like I was starving but after about 2 weeks I had adjusted. When I went to 1600 I felt miserable and my weight started fluctuating. I was exhausted all of the time, my workouts were terrible compared to previously etc. That has been going on for about 3 weeks. I'm not as hungry but I am exhausted and my training is still suffering.

Thoughts? Should I just suck it up and adjust? I definitely do not need to build anymore muscle and my training is programmed for that.

And...as a quick second note. I have not slept through the night in probably 3 or 4 years. Yep - no exaggeration there. I could run off of adrenaline and feel great. No matter what my sleep was like I could hop out of bed at 5:30 and get on with my day. Could rarely nap. I have been sleeping through the night for 2 weeks now (made some adjustments in the bedroom and working on the mind). Funny thing is, I felt better when I wasn't sleeping. Crazy! I am thankful though the be getting a healthy full night's rest. It is about time!

Ok, we have to adjust your calories without you losing it. The suck it up only works for the last 2 weeks or so. Unfortunately you've been sucking it up much longer then that. This is not the time to build muscles, but to lose fat, so you're good there. The reason for your lack of energy, I suspect is that your fat has been too low for too long. I don't sleep that much either, but when I get up at 4:30am (I know, that's crazy) I am full of energy and good to go.

I need one more thing from you. Have you been counting macros? I'm guessing no. How tall are you and how much you weight today?
I'l wait for that info before I email you back.

 

[Thandie]

Thandie - I'm really struggling with how many calories to take in. My maintenance is around 2300 (due to my physical job and training). At that level my weight is constant.

The 1800 felt like I was starving but after about 2 weeks I had adjusted. When I went to 1600 I felt miserable and my weight started fluctuating. I was exhausted all of the time, my workouts were terrible compared to previously etc. That has been going on for about 3 weeks. I'm not as hungry but I am exhausted and my training is still suffering.

Thoughts? Should I just suck it up and adjust? I definitely do not need to build anymore muscle and my training is programmed for that.

And...as a quick second note. I have not slept through the night in probably 3 or 4 years. Yep - no exaggeration there. I could run off of adrenaline and feel great. No matter what my sleep was like I could hop out of bed at 5:30 and get on with my day. Could rarely nap. I have been sleeping through the night for 2 weeks now (made some adjustments in the bedroom and working on the mind). Funny thing is, I felt better when I wasn't sleeping. Crazy! I am thankful though the be getting a healthy full night's rest. It is about time!

Ok, we have to adjust your calories without you losing it. The suck it up only works for the last 2 weeks or so. Unfortunately you've been sucking it up much longer then that. This is not the time to build muscles, but to lose fat, so you're good there. The reason for your lack of energy, I suspect is that your fat has been too low for too long. I don't sleep that much either, but when I get up at 4:30am (I know, that's crazy) I am full of energy and good to go.

I need one more thing from you. Have you been counting macros? I'm guessing no. How tall are you and how much you weight today?
I'l wait for that info before I email you back.

 

[ironwings]

Thanks Thandie for your adjustments to my diet. I'm sure they will make a huge difference. You are accurate, I went back and plugged in macros for the last few weeks and my fat has been low, carbs extremely high, and protein low. I'm adjusting with your advice!

I am having some water retention and I feel like I could stick a pin in my face and it would pop!! This morning I'm up to 135lbs (back at my original weight 7 weeks ago) but my body fat continues to go down - today it is 13.4%. I have about 18% more water on me then I had two days ago and my muscle mass is up to 110lbs.

I feel much better emotionally. This really isn't that important. I have put WAY too much focus on it and my obsession with it has been unhealthy. I'm back on track now to living with my body each day and not focusing on that damn photoshoot.

I have a test shoot on Monday to prepare for lighting, clothing, hair, makeup, poses etc. This should be fun!

 

[Thandie]

Thanks Thandie for your adjustments to my diet. I'm sure they will make a huge difference. You are accurate, I went back and plugged in macros for the last few weeks and my fat has been low, carbs extremely high, and protein low. I'm adjusting with your advice!

I am having some water retention and I feel like I could stick a pin in my face and it would pop!! This morning I'm up to 135lbs (back at my original weight 7 weeks ago) but my body fat continues to go down - today it is 13.4%. I have about 18% more water on me then I had two days ago and my muscle mass is up to 110lbs.

I feel much better emotionally. This really isn't that important. I have put WAY too much focus on it and my obsession with it has been unhealthy. I'm back on track now to living with my body each day and not focusing on that damn photoshoot.

I have a test shoot on Monday to prepare for lighting, clothing, hair, makeup, poses etc. This should be fun!

I'm glad you're feeling better and please stick with it; it will work, just let me know how your weight goes so I can make an adjustment. For now your body has to get adjusted to the new macros, and then re-adjusted again. It's tough, but you're doing it.

Before you feel guilty or knock yourself down for it, I want you to know that your putting so much focus on this lame, selfish, superficial obsession you think you're having; remember, whatever we do at whatever time is 'important' to us at that time. This little obsession you're talking about is what has made me the stronger person I've ever known with the most discipline. Don't knock-it. it will change you to be a more focus, better individual.

The first time I had a comp, I got ill. Got some kind of stomach virus with diarrhea and vomiting for 4 days. The Dr. coaching me said "Let's see if you can make this one"! then he told me "is your body fighting all this tough work". This was 2 weeks before contest and I never stopped working out, but once I made it through, I knew I made a great step in my mental power.

If you need any questions, please let me know. You're doing great. That's where I was loooong time ago. This is not for the meek..
You're doing awesome!

 

[ironwings]

Still doing well here....at 129lbs / 106lbs lean muscle mass / 13%bf / 5% core bf

I finally lost all the water I was holding (6lbs) and it feels great to see my abs again ;-) I didn't do the test shoot due to my water retainage and a location change we are making. It should be coming up in the next week or so. And I've confirmed, Onebreath will be taking some shots with me!! I am thrilled....although a little worried. He looks amazing.

Added cycling to my cardio and my lower half is finally starting to slim down. Calories are between 1500 - 1600 and I've been more careful about macros. I'm progressing now again with good steady loses. The last two weeks I'll add an additional deficit of calories (mostly carbs) and an extra cardio session if needed.

My weight is higher than it was 4 weeks ago by 3lbs still but I look much slimmer and muscular. I also feel a million times better. The calories I was on previously and the training completely screwed up my body. It has been a great experience to look back and see what I've learned about what my body needs.

We'll see what this week brings! Hope you guys are training hard ;-)

 

[mommalu]

Still doing well here....at 129lbs / 106lbs lean muscle mass / 13%bf / 5% core bf

I finally lost all the water I was holding (6lbs) and it feels great to see my abs again ;-) I didn't do the test shoot due to my water retainage and a location change we are making. It should be coming up in the next week or so. And I've confirmed, Onebreath will be taking some shots with me!! I am thrilled....although a little worried. He looks amazing.

Added cycling to my cardio and my lower half is finally starting to slim down. Calories are between 1500 - 1600 and I've been more careful about macros. I'm progressing now again with good steady loses. The last two weeks I'll add an additional deficit of calories (mostly carbs) and an extra cardio session if needed.

My weight is higher than it was 4 weeks ago by 3lbs still but I look much slimmer and muscular. I also feel a million times better. The calories I was on previously and the training completely screwed up my body. It has been a great experience to look back and see what I've learned about what my body needs.

We'll see what this week brings! Hope you guys are training hard ;-)

That's awesome ironwings!! Glad to hear that things are finally going much better for you. You seem allot happier now too. Congratulations.
Keep us updated on your photo shoot. We want pictures!!!