How to approach women in the clubs, to dance

[healother]

How do 'you' do it? how do you get a girl to dance with you?

Do you just start dancing in her vicinity? Do you ask her if she wants to dance, do you just start grinding on her?

In the past month I've gone dancing a couple nights a week, and usually get a couple good dances from some girls each time. I approach quite a few and get turned down a LOT. Many times I've noticed that they'll completely blow me off if I look interested but dont make a bold attempt. I know some guys just go up and grind on them, and some like that, but I just cant bring myself to do it, because I know that some girls dont want that, and i dont wanna be disrespectful.

Well tonight and last night were disasterous. I got turned down an awful lot. I'm wondering if maybe I'm doing something wrong. Most nights i really only get maybe a couple good dances from some girls, sometimes its just one dance and she isnt even that into it. But with the 40 or so women or so dancing I would think I could do better than that.

Really, I'm in it for the good feeling, I just love grinding with women at the club. I know thats not the reason why most people go clubbing, but whatever, it makes me feel good so thats why i go.

 

[puddlemonkey]

I'm in it for the good feeling, I just love grinding with women at the club. it makes me feel good so thats why i go.

Welcome to puberty brah!


Seriously though, women at the club don't want you to be all respectful and whatnot. You being polite and nice is a total turn off, they like guys with confidence, not guys they could walk all over. Believe it or not women, much like men, like a challenge. Confidence at your young inexperienced age wont come easy, and most will see through the act. Ignoring them has always worked well for me. When I was doing the dance club scene 5-6 years ago I'd make eye contact with a girl, give her the "you wish" smirk, and not even take a second glance in her direction. 10-15 minutes later she'd be on her way over tugging on my hand wanting me to dance with her. Women want what they can't have, people want what they can't have. Its called greed, and it can be a wonderful thing. You just have to figure out how to use it to your advantage.

 

[Razorguns]

dancing still doesn't replace having to talk to the female and still wooing her. too many guys think some fantasy of 'dancing her way into her pants'.

most likely she'll dance, then go back to her bf. you look likea dork. then you have to find ANOTHER girl to dance with, and you risk looking like a club night at the roxbury dork, just ont he prowl looking for hapless drunk victims.

learn to talk to women. then if things are going THEN ask her to dance. not the other way around.

 

[Oceano]

lol @ these herbs dancing

 

[biteme]

I love the chronicles of Healother.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

women pretty much respond to one thing and one thing only - social value.

you need to be a person of value in that persons eyes before they do anything with you, whether its give you their name or have sex in the VIP toilets

there are different sorts of things you can do to prove that you have social value. these include (and ill keep it simple or ill type for an hour):

being well groomed/good looking
having high value friends eg other good looking fun people
having status in the club eg being a bartender, dj, or celebrity
any excellent skill or attribute eg being a good dancer, being really funny/smart/entertaining

what you need to do line your social value up with what you want from the girl, and compare it to HER social value.

the bottom line is, the more social value you have relative to the girl youre talking to, the more likely a girl is to do what you want.

mr nobody ugly guy walking up to an average girl in the club asking for her name = rejection

brad pitt walking up to the hottest girl and wanting a foot massage = a decent chance of it happening

why? because his celebrity status gives him mad social value, and she is more inclined to associate with him

when you walk up to a girl and ask her to dance in a club, youre not just asking her to dance. youre saying "im interested in you for xyz reason" and so shes going to look at who you are, what you look like, who you know, how you come across, WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT (a dance? a kiss? sex?) and how she feels about that (is kissing you going to be fun? is dancing with you going to be fun? is sexing you going to be fun? what will it do to HER social value if she does these things with you ie hot chick dancing sexy with loser guy becomes less valuable socially) and then shes going to make a decision

so if i were you and i wanted to dance a lot, i would take it easy with the grinding, because in a club environment your social value is pretty low, grinding expresses a lot of sexual interest (that they may not want, let alone reciprocate) and the more you try to do it with any random chick, the less likely you are to get it.

instead, like RG said, talk to the owmen first, and express to them why you are a socially valuable person. talk about the interesting htings in your life. talk about the things about you particularly that make people say "hey. this guy is pretty cool, i like him". then, once they like you, plus have looked you up and down and seen your nice clothes, interesting sneakers, bracelet from some interesting little villiage in pakistan that you tell a funny story about etc etc, you can ask them to dance.

or you could just get up, dance like a champion by yourself (thereby broadcasting that you are valuable cos youre just such a mad dancer) and some women will respond to that, if you can tbe bothered going through all the steps.

i still think grinding sucks though. you look like a tool, it lowers your value, and like i said to you once before, its either get a cheap feel in a nightclub, or control yourself, and get very real sex someplace else.

preferably in the VIP toilets, so you can tell a good story on EF lol

also, i think you should get a job in a cool college bar. youll make loads of friends with people that are valuable in the clubscene, and youll become valuable by association. plus, you get to see the clubscene from the sober underside, and become a LOT more savvy as a result

(last night i looked like THE BIGGEST PLAYER, my social value was in the stratosphere but i felt like a dick, so i dumped them and got out of there before everyone else in the club realised how playerish i really am and i get busted lol)

 

[biteme]

women pretty much respond to one thing and one thing only - social value.

you need to be a person of value in that persons eyes before they do anything with you, whether its give you their name or have sex in the VIP toilets

there are different sorts of things you can do to prove that you have social value. these include (and ill keep it simple or ill type for an hour):

being well groomed/good looking
having high value friends eg other good looking fun people
having status in the club eg being a bartender, dj, or celebrity
any excellent skill or attribute eg being a good dancer, being really funny/smart/entertaining

what you need to do line your social value up with what you want from the girl, and compare it to HER social value.

the bottom line is, the more social value you have relative to the girl youre talking to, the more likely a girl is to do what you want.

mr nobody ugly guy walking up to an average girl in the club asking for her name = rejection

brad pitt walking up to the hottest girl and wanting a foot massage = a decent chance of it happening

why? because his celebrity status gives him mad social value, and she is more inclined to associate with him

when you walk up to a girl and ask her to dance in a club, youre not just asking her to dance. youre saying "im interested in you for xyz reason" and so shes going to look at who you are, what you look like, who you know, how you come across, WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT (a dance? a kiss? sex?) and how she feels about that (is kissing you going to be fun? is dancing with you going to be fun? is sexing you going to be fun? what will it do to HER social value if she does these things with you ie hot chick dancing sexy with loser guy becomes less valuable socially) and then shes going to make a decision

so if i were you and i wanted to dance a lot, i would take it easy with the grinding, because in a club environment your social value is pretty low, grinding expresses a lot of sexual interest (that they may not want, let alone reciprocate) and the more you try to do it with any random chick, the less likely you are to get it.

instead, like RG said, talk to the owmen first, and express to them why you are a socially valuable person. talk about the interesting htings in your life. talk about the things about you particularly that make people say "hey. this guy is pretty cool, i like him". then, once they like you, plus have looked you up and down and seen your nice clothes, interesting sneakers, bracelet from some interesting little villiage in pakistan that you tell a funny story about etc etc, you can ask them to dance.

or you could just get up, dance like a champion by yourself (thereby broadcasting that you are valuable cos youre just such a mad dancer) and some women will respond to that, if you can tbe bothered going through all the steps.

i still think grinding sucks though. you look like a tool, it lowers your value, and like i said to you once before, its either get a cheap feel in a nightclub, or control yourself, and get very real sex someplace else.

preferably in the VIP toilets, so you can tell a good story on EF lol

also, i think you should get a job in a cool college bar. youll make loads of friends with people that are valuable in the clubscene, and youll become valuable by association. plus, you get to see the clubscene from the sober underside, and become a LOT more savvy as a result

(last night i looked like THE BIGGEST PLAYER, my social value was in the stratosphere but i felt like a dick, so i dumped them and got out of there before everyone else in the club realised how playerish i get busted lol)

I just flex my muscles and I'm in with at least 40% of them. Shallow bitches.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

I just flex my muscles and I'm in with at least 40% of them. Shallow bitches.

i do not have enough time in my day to meet up with all the women who want to jump into bed with me. its just not possible, and i have a shoebox full of viagra from india

besides, steve doesnt work out

 

[Oceano]

GD, you have really thought about this, where are you drawing all this info from?

My belief is that in a club (provided the girl isn't drunk) it depends on how goodlooking you are. This is especially the case where you don't know anyone in the club.

That social value shit is retarded if true.

I think some females should contribute to this thread...

 

[Spartacus]

back in the room