Sometimes I can go after 20 strokes, other times I can go as long as I want. It takes most women at least 10-20 min to come so I focus on lots of foreplay.
Masterbating beforehand can also help if I do it within an hour sex.
Awareness of my state of arousal is key for me. I can tell when I'm getting hot. Early pops can be avoided if I slow down before it starts to feel too good. I get into trouble when I try to maximize the pleasure for too long b/c I can hit that point where I've got 2 choices: stop completely & regain control or pop. Some women don't like it when you mess with the rythym, so I try to avoid these situations at all times, but sometimes its necessary. Often I change positions to give me some, 'regain my composure time'.
My best sessions are when I get into this state detachment, where it feels good, but not awesome. I don't get absorbed into how sexy she is, how great she feels or looks. When I'm in this state I can focus on her pleasure by hitting her G-spot & playing with penetration (I start with shallow strokes until she's really hot b/c most of her nerve endings are in the first few inches of the vagina).
Lastly, I find that its not how long you last, but how hot u can get her. If she dries up & loses her arousal, it doesn't matter if you go like a jackhammer for eternity b/c niether of you are gonna like it.
Get her as hot & wet as you can & she'll be begging you for more even if you don't last that long.
If you do go early you can always daty. It can be a little satly, but as one of my lovers told me, "its just us".