How does it feel to have aids?

[HealthyLiving8]

Alanchiras thanks for sharing , I am forwarding your story to my cousin who is almost in the same boat.

 

[alanchiras]

Alanchiras thanks for sharing , I am forwarding your story to my cousin who is almost in the same boat.

No problem. Learn all that you can and don't be too judgemental.

Thanks! Alan Chiras.

 

[pdaddyII]

Thank you for sharing, i cannot imagine

 

[krimsonkasper]

Re: How does it feel?

Alan
Thanks for sharing that man. I am new to this site and I am too HIV+, I am approaching the 12 year mark. I discovered I have HIV+ after having my appendix removed. I started to recover but after a few weeks seem to head in the opposite direction. I had some wasting and was lossing weight at an alarming rate, had severe nausea, diarrhea, and an endless fever. My MD finally decided to test me for HIV after I disclosed my sexual orientation. I discover that I not only had HIV but full blown AIDS. I had a viral load of 51k, and a CD4 (white blood cells) of 5. I now have a CD4 of 750, which my MD has found fascinating, he told me that not many people with a CD4 as low as mine ever get it above 200. To answer the question of how does if feel? I am tired alot, but otherwise I feel pretty normal. I dont have a lot of side effects from the medications I tolerate them well. I have a very strong and resistant strain of virus, so I am resistant to most of the medications. It requires me to very strict with taking the meds that I am on so that I dont build resistance to them. The one side effect that I have from the meds is lipodystrophy, a high level of fat deposits, you guessed it in the midsection. While my body is in pretty good shape, I have a belly that is almost impossible to get rid of. Hope that gives a little insight.
Kasper

 

[jill8beans2]

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are such a beautiful person for bearing your soul like that. Thank you.

 

[alanchiras]

No problem everyone!

 

[Arabian]

Good luck Alan, you have always been a pillar here on EF....

 

[onelv]

Tell me Allen I have heard that AAS can suppress your immune system,could this be counter productive? Have you tried EQ it really has low sides and you eat like a horse! LOL no pun intended but that is why Boledona was created for. To put lean muscle on horse.Well hope all is well.

 

[Anatemnien]

You see, people blame folks with HIV for getting it, its really the fuckers who cheat during a relationship' fault.
Good luck to you two brosives man.

Its ashame that you can't touch anyone these days out of fear of them contracting the disease then giving it to you. Also note, just because a person is a virgin doesnt mean they cannot have contracted the disease, Im a virgin but I have fingered a woman, but she was on her period *yeah yuck... we didnt know* and I got blood all over my hand. So dont finger people either! (I dunno if IM HIV + or not... so yeah.. fuck lol*

 

[Speakerman]

having aids sucks.

Im 21 years old and ive been positive all my life. It was transmitted to me along with hepatits c during some blood transfusion when i was around 2 or 3 days old. I only found out i was hiv+ when i was 16, got really sick and ended up in the hospital.

So there i am: 16 years old in the 10th grade still a virgin never did drugs never engaged in any type of "risky behavior" and here i got a doctor telling me i had a terminal illness. Great.

I went through all the phases. At first it really didnt hit me what having aids meant. All i thought of was "ok great well now i know and now i can take meds and become healthy. Thats all there is to it." i actually did a pretty good job at dropping my meds consistantly at first, my viral load droped down to undetectable, and about 6 months through the entire ordeal something in me snapped and i finally came to the realization that i was gonna be stuck with this bullshit for the rest of my life.

The next 4 years i woke up and slept thinking of death. Dropped out of hi school.... ( i mean who cares rite wtf do i care about my future im dying neways) i used to look at my wrists alot just mapping them out, following them with my eyes, watching how they split like tree branches. "all i need to do is take a knife rite here and its over" i used to think to myself.

I told a few of my friends and got mixed reactions. Some of them were cool with it and others said they were cool but i could tell they were bothered. I think the social aspect of having aids is the hardest part. Here i am, a 21 heteroseuxal virgin male because i refuse to transmit this disease to someone else. My current best friend who dosent know im hiv+ is always asking me why i dont hook up with females. I just lie through my teeth and tell him its too much work ive been there and done that when i really havent. I think the worse part of it is the fact that im actually a really good looking guy, i get offers from females trying to get something going all the time but wtf am i supposed to say to them? Yeh sure we can hook up oh btw i have aids? Im well aware of the reacton i would get by reading threads like this one: http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=46350

do i blame these people for not willing to have sex with people that are hiv+? No. Because if i didnt have the disease theres no way in hell i would risk the chance of getting it. But then again i look to my best friends relationship with his girlfriend. His girlfriend is absolutely stunning, extremely nice, smart girl - does everything for him and yet he treats her like pure shit. Calls her a worthless slut tells her to stop pmsing the whole 9 yards. And i look at this and i think to myself "is this right? Its this the way its supposed to be? Im sitting here dying of fucking aids while this guy who has no fucking clue how lucky he is to have someone like that in is life treats her like shit and everythings cool? What did i do to deserve this prison of a life? Did i do something really bad in a former life?

I just dont get it. I really really dont.

But im not just gonna give up and die. If it wasnt for my supportive family i think i wouldnt care less but they have been there for me since day 1 and i know that when i do go theyre never gonna be the same again. So i just have to keep on living life the way i do and hope that some miracle will occur that will release me from this torture.

Am i blessed to have lived beyond my life expectacy? I mean i should have been dead at 11 or 12. Or am i cursed to just have my misery of a life extended on for a longer period of time. At this time i have no clue. I dont know what the future will hold. I can only hope for the best.

Just one more thing, i know you guys hear this all the time through tv radio and magazines and whatnot, but do practive safe sex. You dont want to live the life i live. You dont want to have the life i have.

Stay safe.

you where put on this earth for a reason...stay postive and live your life.......