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"Hey, look what I've Got!" ... I'm sorry, but I just can't right now ... [rant]

musclemom

musclemom

I Told You So ...
EF VIP
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, LOOOOOVE him. But for some reason his dick's been on a rampage for the past 24 hours, which is cute when you're 20 something and have all the energy and time in the world and plenty of time to do something about it, and verges on annoying when he's 57 and you're 46 and life is getting in the way.

I have my period and cramps, I'm trying to scramble around and get shit done for my stepdaughter (paperwork for state and federal assistance), due to both of our work schedules I've been operating on less than 5 hours of sleep (some twat is on vacation so I'm doing double duty and have been completely, utterly fucking snowed under with work for four days). I'm working on major, major fucking deadlines both life and work wise. The absolute, mutherfucking LAST thing I really give a shit about is sex. I had to schedule taking a shower the other day! All I want to say is "honey, your hard-on is nice, but will you please fucking stop showing it to me, I just don't give a good god damn right now, that doesn't mean I won't later. But the simple fact of the matter is, your wishing that I would play with your penis is just one more fucking demand on my time and energy and I'm, literally, ready to cry right now. Please leave me alone and stop mentioning how every time you see/hug/kiss me you get hard and that it woke you up a few times last night."

I wouldn't dream of taking him off TRT but Jesus weeping Christ, how the hell do you say that to someone you love, nicely? Seriously. You tell a man you don't want his hard-on, he gets his feelings hurt.
 
Just let his subcontract the business to someone else.

You get time off, he gets his dick handled.

Win-win
 
Hahahhahahha... Honestly just let him know all the shit you have to get done. Tell him how its really been stressing you out. Dont bitch at him just tell him calmly. And if possible, have him help you out with one or two things.
 
machine23 said:
Hahahhahahha... Honestly just let him know all the shit you have to get done. Tell him how its really been stressing you out. Dont bitch at him just tell him calmly. And if possible, have him help you out with one or two things.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that will work when the little 23 year old girl with daddy issues comes bopping by...
 
One needs to handle diplomatic evasion of marital sexual relationships with care or you create a situation that you can't fix, it's like saying something in anger you regret immediately, shit cannot be unsaid.

And for any of you silly asses that think sitting on it for a MINUTE fixes things, uh, no, 57, remember? Guess what ONE benefit men get out of aging? Stamina. A quickie for him is around the 10 minute mark.
 
lol...usually I'd just suck it up (I've not had this problem in a minute) and ask that he be quick (like three minutes quick) but if you're on your period and have cramps (which means you are in day one or two of your period) you're allowed to not want to have sex right now ...lol
 
i hope my gf doesnt think like you...ever....
 
cindylou said:
lol...usually I'd just suck it up (I've not had this problem in a minute) and ask that he be quick (like three minutes quick) but if you're on your period and have cramps (which means you are in day one or two of your period) you're allowed to not want to have sex right now ...lol
Click to expand...
If sucking on it would solve the problem quickly I would, but he's one of those weird bastards that takes 10x longer to bust orally. Lockjaw doesn't begin to describe it.

Wootooom said:
i hope my gf doesnt think like you...ever....
Click to expand...
I've been with my husband for 17 years, how long you been with your GF?! At the 3 year mark we were still giving each other friction burns down below, so come talk to me when you two have been together for 16.5 more years.

WoodyO said:
No time for sex, but plenty of time to poast on EF?
Click to expand...
He left for work at 6:15 this morning. Morning woody was waggling at me at 5:20 this morning. We have to work for a living, remember? I had work I had to edit and upload before 8:00 a.m., then actually grabbed a bite while I set up files for today's transcription, and pretty much since about 9:00 I've been on the phone on behalf of his daughter and have been pulling documents together and faxing a total of 70 pages to Social Security -- and the fucking thing keeps jamming on the final fucking bunch GODDAMMIT!

jondale123 said:
tell him to work out his forearms and get over it. every man need a forearm workout.
Click to expand...
We've both sort of reached the point where we find that really, really boring. He used to be a grand wanker but once he met me he got spoiled. What can I say, I gots mad skillz :D
 
We've both sort of reached the point where we find that really, really boring. He used to be a grand wanker but once he met me he got spoiled. What can I say, I gots mad skillz :D[/QUOTE]

Prove it
 
this thread is amazing it gives me hope

i thought sex stopped after marriage and the wife turned into a complete and total icequeen
 
EarthRider said:
Prove it
Click to expand...
Hmm, husband gets insta-boner when I give him a hug and a kiss and would rather boff me, wife of 17 years than wank it, and I have something to prove?

Uh, no, no I don't :supercool
 
bren565 said:
this thread is amazing it gives me hope

i thought sex stopped after marriage and the wife turned into a complete and total icequeen
Click to expand...
All depends on why people get married. You get married for the right reasons it's a solid foundation and you never stop enjoying each other and making each other happy.

This thread is actually me bitching about the fact my life is getting in the way of me playing with my husband because I can't get my head in the game.
 
jondale123 said:
what the hell does he take his test levels sound higher than mine i am 23 and ok healthy
Click to expand...
100 mg every 10 days, 0.5 mg Arimidex every 3 days, peptides for GH.

He's on HRT, but even when his test. levels were in the toilet he never had a problem with Mr. Happy. He's always had stamina, kind of his blessing ;) He told me he was a maniac when he was in his 20s, but a monogamous maniac, the kind of guy who just plum wears a girl out :whatever:
 
musclemom said:
100 mg every 10 days, 0.5 mg Arimidex every 3 days, peptides for GH.

He's on HRT, but even when his test. levels were in the toilet he never had a problem with Mr. Happy. He's always had stamina, kind of his blessing ;) He told me he was a maniac when he was in his 20s, but a monogamous maniac, the kind of guy who just plum wears a girl out :whatever:
Click to expand...

Is he prescribed HRT from an MD or EF robs
 
superdave said:
Is he prescribed HRT from an MD or EF robs
Click to expand...
Prescribed, for real. It's not an anti-aging clinic either, a real doctor. He's been seeing him for years, gets full blood panels about every six to eight weeks. Honestly, above and beyond the sex stuff, it's made a world of difference in terms of attitude about life and physical energy ... and the morning kickstands do seem to start his day with a smile whether they get used or not. I've come to the conclusion that morning wood is sort of like a male barometer of how the day will go. The equivalent of a chick having a good hair day :whatever:
 
mrplunkey said:
+1

And even if she was riding teh cotton pony, why not let him PIITA?
Click to expand...

I can concur with your assessment here. She needs to let him PIIHB. Xanax and vodka lady. Im telling you I have managed to smash some hogs with this deadly combo. By hogs I dont mean fat girls, I mean real live barn animals! LOL jk.........
 
You should have written down the address of a rub-n-tug near his workplace on a little note and packed it in his lunch. Would have bought you peace for tonight at least.
 
And MM, if the TRT is doing that, better pray he doesn't start using melanotan. You can use that morning wood to punch holes in the drywall.
 
canadianhitman said:
You should have written down the address of a rub-n-tug near his workplace on a little note and packed it in his lunch. Would have bought you peace for tonight at least.
Click to expand...

State law should make outsourcing of sechuals legal if teh vag is denied.
 
only read mm's post..

he just wants to know he's more important than all those other things in your life.. he's not an idiot, he just wants to know he's the most important thing to you..

sorry..

get some sleep and drink lots of water..
 
cindylou said:
We should be allowed to deny the vag during the first 48 hours of our period without fear of outsourcing.
Click to expand...

If the roller coaster at Six Flags is broke, they don't close the whole amusement park.
 
1. I'm taking it for granted that most of you realize that this was primarily a joke thread.

2. The truth was actually post #30.

3. My husband does not belong to the board, not his thing. He joined up once and just couldn't get into it.

4. I did end up reading this thread to him earlier, he laughed his ass off at some of the comments and said I was precious.

See, couples have their way to play. Some couples find reasons to have spats just to have a reason to make up (some guys will tease or annoy their wives specifically for this purpose). My husband figured out a long time ago I don't get annoyed, I utterly flip my shit and teasing me is even worse. On the other hand, there are things he can do that I can only think of as being somewhat John Belushi like, that make me chuckle while at the same time shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

If our relationship lived and died on whether we bump uglies or not for a day, a week or even a month, we wouldn't have been together this long, and certainly still not be happy, and even in the worst of times we've managed to find a reason to laugh.
 
cindylou said:
Lol! lol...

Is it really that fun to ride the log flume in heavy rain when it's the only ride open?
Click to expand...

yes. it is. And there's still other options besides vaginal intercourse or anal intercourse. :)
 
ceo said:
yes. it is. And there's still other options besides vaginal intercourse or anal intercourse. :)
Click to expand...

And the mouth does double duty too, because it also keeps 'em quiet for a good 30 minutes.

win-win
 
ceo said:
yes. it is. And there's still other options besides vaginal intercourse or anal intercourse. :)
Click to expand...

yep, no matter what side or position a woman goes to sleep in, there is always a opening..

and if you are really that hard up.. there's always the armpit..
 
Last edited:
cindylou said:
lol...usually I'd just suck it up (I've not had this problem in a minute) and ask that he be quick (like three minutes quick) but if you're on your period and have cramps (which means you are in day one or two of your period) you're allowed to not want to have sex right now ...lol
Click to expand...

Cawk helps the cramps just get towels for the mess. Honestly MM it would probably help you let go of some stress you sound wound up as heck. Really what's 10 minutes?
 
superqt4u2nv said:
Cawk helps the cramps just get towels for the mess. Honestly MM it would probably help you let go of some stress you sound wound up as heck. Really what's 10 minutes?
Click to expand...

Well said!

Truth be told, you've figured guys out. It's probably for the best that more women don't think like you, or you guys would rule the world.
 
mrplunkey said:
Well said!

Truth be told, you've figured guys out. It's probably for the best that more women don't think like you, or you guys would rule the world.
Click to expand...


True. It's usually when we aren't in a sex-induced fog that we take a good look at the situation, think with the right head, and do what we really want to do. A little sexual frustration can deliver great clarity of thought.
 
canadianhitman said:
True. It's usually when we aren't in a sex-induced fog that we take a good look at the situation, think with the right head, and do what we really want to do. A little sexual frustration can deliver great clarity of thought.
Click to expand...

That's so true it hurts.

It's those rare occasions where we're hard-up that we actually start thinking clearly. When we aren't hard-up, we'll do stupid things like work 65 hours a week for the rest of our lives for a woman who thinks we don't take her on enough vacations.

Damn... we should just hold out on them and take the power back!!!
 
When I'm emotionally stressed out, the last thing I want is sex, and having sex doesn't fix it, it makes it worse. I'm 46, I'm pretty sure I know how I work after this time. My sex drive is the highest when I'm on vacation, kicks in about day three.

As for "servicing" my husband (for lack of a better phrase) he generally doesn't like that. He can tell when I'm distracted and then he doesn't have fun, either. He's really not like other guys, I can't explain it any other way. Okay, this will illustrate how different from other guys he is: HE doesn't want sex when he's stressed out about something (like work). He thinks more like a chick in a way, he doesn't compartmentalize his thoughts and emotions the way most men do.
 
does your hubby have relationships with men

musclemom said:
When I'm emotionally stressed out, the last thing I want is sex, and having sex doesn't fix it, it makes it worse. I'm 46, I'm pretty sure I know how I work after this time. My sex drive is the highest when I'm on vacation, kicks in about day three.

As for "servicing" my husband (for lack of a better phrase) he generally doesn't like that. He can tell when I'm distracted and then he doesn't have fun, either. He's really not like other guys, I can't explain it any other way. Okay, this will illustrate how different from other guys he is: HE doesn't want sex when he's stressed out about something (like work). He thinks more like a chick in a way, he doesn't compartmentalize his thoughts and emotions the way most men do.
Click to expand...
 
Do you guys remember when poboy posted pics of his bed after he murderfucked his little GF? It looked like the bed in Nightmare On Elm Street when Johnny Depp died.
 
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EarthRider said:
does your hubby have relationships with men
Click to expand...
You mean guy friends he hangs out with or are you asking if swings both ways? He's not bi.

He never had many guy friends, people drift apart between kids and divorces. The few he still has all live impossibly far to just hang with (so any get togethers can't include drinking unless someone is spending the night at someone else's house). I actually wish he had buddies that shared some of his interests.

Of course, I'm no better. I have exactly two women I consider good friends, one from the coven, one is part of the couple I got "custody" of in my divorce. My first husband hated all of the friends I had when I met him so he made sure they stopped being part of my life.

Gets hard to make new friends when you get older.

cindylou said:
?? made sense to me
Click to expand...
Which part/s?
 
I notice as I get older it is harder to have friends. I am married and two kids. Most my friends are all married with kids also. So we are all busy, and have a hard time getting together.

Tomorrow we are all getting together for the football game. It is going to be a great time. I am hoping a buddy of mine is going to start working out with me in the morning too.

musclemom said:
You mean guy friends he hangs out with or are you asking if swings both ways? He's not bi.

He never had many guy friends, people drift apart between kids and divorces. The few he still has all live impossibly far to just hang with (so any get togethers can't include drinking unless someone is spending the night at someone else's house). I actually wish he had buddies that shared some of his interests.

Of course, I'm no better. I have exactly two women I consider good friends, one from the coven, one is part of the couple I got "custody" of in my divorce. My first husband hated all of the friends I had when I met him so he made sure they stopped being part of my life.

Gets hard to make new friends when you get older.

Which part/s?
Click to expand...
 
musclemom said:
Gets hard to make new friends when you get older.
Click to expand...


It's hard to make new friends your own age I find. I have made plenty of new friends in the past few years...most of them are much younger than me though (I'm 37, most new friends between 23 and 30). As someone who chose not to have kids, looks much younger than he is, and works out a lot, these seem to be the people that gravitate towards me...and that's perfect as it's so much easier to get out for a night of watching UFC or whatever when you have friends that don't have kids.
 
canadianhitman said:
It's hard to make new friends your own age I find. I have made plenty of new friends in the past few years...most of them are much younger than me though (I'm 37, most new friends between 23 and 30). As someone who chose not to have kids, looks much younger than he is, and works out a lot, these seem to be the people that gravitate towards me...and that's perfect as it's so much easier to get out for a night of watching UFC or whatever when you have friends that don't have kids.
Click to expand...

Creepy older dude alert
 
canadianhitman said:
It's hard to make new friends your own age I find. I have made plenty of new friends in the past few years...most of them are much younger than me though (I'm 37, most new friends between 23 and 30). As someone who chose not to have kids, looks much younger than he is, and works out a lot, these seem to be the people that gravitate towards me...and that's perfect as it's so much easier to get out for a night of watching UFC or whatever when you have friends that don't have kids.
Click to expand...

totally agree.....actually, it's easy to make unhealthy friendships, but harder to make healthier ones.
But at my age, the women I meet all have older kids and are unhappily married so are willing to hang out.
 
blueta2 said:
totally agree.....actually, it's easy to make unhealthy friendships, but harder to make healthier ones.
But at my age, the women I meet all have older kids and are unhappily married so are willing to hang out.
Click to expand...

I disallow you to hang with unhappy hags
 
blueta2 said:
totally agree.....actually, it's easy to make unhealthy friendships, but harder to make healthier ones.
But at my age, the women I meet all have older kids and are unhappily married so are willing to hang out.
Click to expand...

like bees to honey
and you troubled yourself to make a second character
you hate me
 
I'm thinking on notice all these relic thread resurfacing
is because
spartacus is back
and I have plenty of heart beats
 
you should just get him a flesh-light and call it a day
 
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