Help: Wife has no desire for sex

[cyrex]

75mg of pharma grade mdma would probably help her along.

you both need to see a marriage counselor STAT!

she will probably need separate therapy. has she spoke with her ob/gyn? that would be a good starting point

mdma ... i've thought about that! but i don't have the slightest clue as to how to get it?

they don't perscribe that stuff do they?

 

[dullboy]

is she on anti-depressants?

 

[cyrex]

she is on no meds (except birthcontrol pill at the moment) but she has only been on that for the last 6 months or so and the problem has been around long before

 

[jenscats5]

she is on no meds (except birthcontrol pill at the moment) but she has only been on that for the last 6 months or so and the problem has been around long before

Listen, dood, I feel for ya - but I think you've done everything in your power....start looking for therapists...and don't necessarily expect the right fit with the 1st one...

 

[cyrex]

Yeah I think that's all that's left

 

[HiDnGoD]

It could be that she's just too stressed and wound too tight. Stress is by far the biggest libido killer for women, there isn't even a close second. My advice, get her away for a vacation where she can relax. Then, and this is critical, don't try climbing on her the first night away. Maybe give her a massage, treat her nice, do some things she enjoys (if she likes to dance, take her dancing etc) and just hang out without her feeling any pressure. If she thinks the only reason you took her away was to get her in the mood for sex the whole thing isn't going to work. All of this is going to hopefully get her to relax and if that happens I'll bet she perks up. Women are not by nature frigid, some just need you to cultivate their desire a little bit. Go slow, make her want you, and show her that sex is supposed to be fun not stressful or goal (orgasm) oriented. Then post pics.

Excellent post. Sometimes cuddling, naked snuggling, massaging, all without the pressure of sex as a finale, can get her to relax.
Yes, stress can be a big thing. Is she on any meds? Anti-depressants. Is she diabetic?

 

[Gymgurl]

Okay BINGO...BC kills the sex drive......I mean can stomp it right out.....so have her talk to her Dr about thatone.....also I hate to ask you this and I am not doing this to be mean,......are you 100% sure there is no one else in her life?

 

[cyrex]

Okay BINGO...BC kills the sex drive......I mean can stomp it right out.....so have her talk to her Dr about thatone.....also I hate to ask you this and I am not doing this to be mean,......are you 100% sure there is no one else in her life?

Great question ;-)

While BC may prevent progress, it is not the cause, this has been going on way before that started up

I'm 100% positive there is no one else for a number of reasons.
Besides the honesty and trust that we share:

1) This has been going on since we started having sex around when we were 18.
2) We are from the same home town, went the same high school in Iowa. About 1.5 years ago I moved down here to Nashville (on my own for the first 4 months) to work. She stayed behind at her job to wait and make sure it worked out down here. Then she moved down with me. We got married in September of last year. So this leads me to the conclusion that (with a very open mind) if she was seeing someone else back in Iowa, she could definately not be seeing that person here in TN. Her low libido has been continuous for the last 6-7 years +
3) We are home bodies and don't go out much without each other. She is either at work or with me.
4) Sex is by far our biggest problem, besides our sex life, I could not be more happy to have her as my wife. She is the only person I could ever see being the mother of my children and besides all that, my family likes her more than me

 

[Gymgurl]

I can tell you from my background in counseling.....marriage counseling...not that you are having any major major problems but this will only get worse if not changed

 

[cyrex]

yep ;-) that's why i'm trying to do something about it now