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cyrex
New member
Ok so here's the story:
I've been with my wife since our Junior year in high school (we are now 24). She has never had any desire for sex. It doesn't feel good to her at all and when we do it, it's mostly just because she knows I like it and is obliging. She has never really had an orgasm (from what she can remember) and cannot have one when she masturbates (which only happens once a month or so). Masturbation does help her to relax and fall asleep though, but she can only do it laying face down on a bed.
Sometimes she does enjoy oral sex when she is really in the mood, but it usually only lasts for about 2-3 minutes until she gets to a point where "it starts to feel good and then just stops". For her to get 'in the mood' she typically needs some alcohol and even then she has difficulties concentrating and not talking about what she is planning on doing at work in 2 weeks.
It may sound cliche or typical but I've been extremely patient, willing to try and do anything and everything to help her/us with this problem, but absolutely nothing has worked. She has no religious qualms about sex and was not molested as a child or anything.
We've tried many different topical products, sex toys, techniques, etc. but nothing has worked.
I've asked her to go to therapy in the past and she has gone for 1 session on 2 occasions where she fills out a form and has bad experiences where when she brings something up either the therapist mentioned going to church or some other odd thing (I don't remember off hand it was a few years ago).
She says she doesn't know what to say or ask if she goes or how to find a place to go to.
I would like to do one or more of the following:
1) Try anything new anyone might suggest
2) Go to couples therapy and see if we can't make progress there
3) Help her find a sex therapist (how do we go about doing that?)
If anyone has any advice, please help.
Thanks
I've been with my wife since our Junior year in high school (we are now 24). She has never had any desire for sex. It doesn't feel good to her at all and when we do it, it's mostly just because she knows I like it and is obliging. She has never really had an orgasm (from what she can remember) and cannot have one when she masturbates (which only happens once a month or so). Masturbation does help her to relax and fall asleep though, but she can only do it laying face down on a bed.
Sometimes she does enjoy oral sex when she is really in the mood, but it usually only lasts for about 2-3 minutes until she gets to a point where "it starts to feel good and then just stops". For her to get 'in the mood' she typically needs some alcohol and even then she has difficulties concentrating and not talking about what she is planning on doing at work in 2 weeks.
It may sound cliche or typical but I've been extremely patient, willing to try and do anything and everything to help her/us with this problem, but absolutely nothing has worked. She has no religious qualms about sex and was not molested as a child or anything.
We've tried many different topical products, sex toys, techniques, etc. but nothing has worked.
I've asked her to go to therapy in the past and she has gone for 1 session on 2 occasions where she fills out a form and has bad experiences where when she brings something up either the therapist mentioned going to church or some other odd thing (I don't remember off hand it was a few years ago).
She says she doesn't know what to say or ask if she goes or how to find a place to go to.
I would like to do one or more of the following:
1) Try anything new anyone might suggest
2) Go to couples therapy and see if we can't make progress there
3) Help her find a sex therapist (how do we go about doing that?)
If anyone has any advice, please help.
Thanks
