Help! - Married at Home Love at Work???

[fakename]

You guys always given me good advice so here goes.

I'm 30, been married for 3 years (same woman from college 10 years ago). My wife is beautiful, puts up with my shit, and doesn't have an enemy in the world.

I am immature, get a lot of attention from women, and have a habit of never being home. I'm either at work, at the gym, or out with co-workers.

I love my wife and want to do nothing that could even come close to hurting her.

Now here comes the bad part. I started working here 2.5 years ago. First day in I meet this beautiful girl who is a couple years younger than me. We became great friends off the bat. 2.5 years go by and everyday I think to myself that I am obsessed with her (but i am married and she is engaged). A month ago it all came out. She told me that she thinks about me 24 hrs. a day just like i had been with her.

Nothing physical has happened, we have just told each other how we feel.

This weekend she decided to break up with her fiance and he guessed me immediately.

Now I'm at a crossroads. I have this beautiful, kind woman at home but all I can think about is the one I work with. I feel like a total piece of shit and that I need to make a choice quickly. Not sure I should even be married at this point....

Thanks for any advice you guys have...

 

[nangiggles]

This is something only u can sort out.... think about it long and hard, what makes her better than ur wife, do u have kids? is she worth ending it with ur spouse?

 

[fakename]

No kids, thank God. But we have a lot of history and she's got a great heart. What makes the new one better? Better looking, more fun, same interests, same personality as me, and probably wants to have sex more than once a month (part of my issue with my wife).

 

[nangiggles]

No kids, thank God. But we have a lot of history and she's got a great heart. What makes the new one better? Better looking, more fun, same interests, same personality as me, and probably wants to have sex more than once a month (part of my issue with my wife).

Then I can't be helpful as per advice, I'm on the same boat as you with the once a month sex saying stay or leave would be vey subjective since I myself don't know how to handle it....

I can ony tell you one thing: life is about being happy, doing what makes you happy (without hurting others of course) if you are no longer happy in ur marriage and see the possibility of happiness knocking you might wanna open the door

Dont fear hurting/losing ur spouse if staying hurts you, and dont fear not going with te other girls because she dumper her fiancee, that's her doing and her life....

 

[fakename]

Then I can't be helpful as per advice, I'm on the same boat as you with the once a month sex saying stay or leave would be vey subjective since I myself don't know how to handle it....

I can ony tell you one thing: life is about being happy, doing what makes you happy (without hurting others of course) if you are no longer happy in ur marriage and see the possibility of happiness knocking you might wanna open the door

Dont fear hurting/losing ur spouse if staying hurts you, and dont fear not going with te other girls because she dumper her fiancee, that's her doing and her life....

I'm with you, man. It just hurts me so much to hurt my wife. Love her as a person with all of my heart.

As for her dumping her fiance - I didnt ask her to do that - that's her choice.

 

[nangiggles]

I'm with you, man. It just hurts me so much to hurt my wife. Love her as a person with all of my heart.

As for her dumping her fiance - I didnt ask her to do that - that's her choice.

I'm a chick.... strange huh?

 

[fakename]

I'm a chick.... strange huh?

Apologies for assuming - actually glad to hear it!

 

[pogo]

The new girl may seem better just because its something new - if you ended up leaving your wife for her - this new girl can turn into the same thing as what you have now years down the road or even dump you when she gets bored and finds a new office guy to mess with...
You're married. you made a commitment - come on..

 

[Melaina]

Yeah I agree... she may not be all that she's cracked up to be. You don't know all of her quirks.... things that might irritate you... with your wife you know them... and you accept them because you love her. Sounds to me like you're physically married to one woman and emotionally married to another. You've allowed this woman at work to replace a part of your wife's duties.... you probably talk to her about things, confide in her.... that's definitely not fair to your wife and actually an emotional affair to a lot of women is far worse than a physical one. If you're not meant to be with your wife then the split has to be because you two are not compatible... not because of another woman. What will happen if you left your wife... the expenses incurred in a divorce... where will you live? Do you want to work with your new partner? What if you have a fight at work? What if you broke up? You need to ask yourself a lot of questions... I don't think what you're doing is fair. You cannot have both and if you make the wrong decision you may end up alone.

 

[captainahole]

I have had many opportunities to go the more now and exciting route as well. The thing I do everytime I come to these crossroads is sit and thing of one and only thing and it becomes clear.
Is there anyone else I could see spending the later years of my life or is see the one I want to grow old with. In my case it's always the same. I can't that's how I chose.
Sorry if there is any misspellings I don't have my glasse on.