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Hard-Bitten
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I don't blame him for cheating on me, but now he wants me back? Why?
He cheated with fairly good intention?
- Thread starter Hard-Bitten
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Bikini Mod
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Please forgive me for being blunt... the answer is plain as the nose on your face simply by the way you phrased the question.
"It is because he actually thinks that you are dumb enough to take him back so he can keep doing it."
Prove him wrong for heavens sake.
"It is because he actually thinks that you are dumb enough to take him back so he can keep doing it."
Prove him wrong for heavens sake.
nokaoibeachgirl
New member
I totally disagree. It totally depends on the situation...cheaters can change, people do make mistakes!!! And some never do, it's a leap of faith on your part as to whether you feel that he can earn your trust back.
Hard-Bitten
New member
I don't really necessarily 'blame' him for cheating on me because I was never around and quite frankly I wasn't the ' good girlfriend' towards him either.. I was never around or made avaliable to him.
He knows this but why does he still presisting this situation. I do agree that people do change but why would take someone back if the person wasn't good towards you in the first place.?
He knows this but why does he still presisting this situation. I do agree that people do change but why would take someone back if the person wasn't good towards you in the first place.?
Not being around or available does NOT make it okay to cheat.
A grown-up would TALK about the situation - and try to remedy it - not go out and cheat. Adults discuss a situation.
A grown-up would TALK about the situation - and try to remedy it - not go out and cheat. Adults discuss a situation.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Too many fish in the sea to take back a cheater.
make him work for it. beg for it, and take full advantage of the situation for a while. make him prove to you that he's sincere in making up for what he did. set some ground rules, what you expect, and what is acceptable and not acceptable (re: what makes you uncomfortable/nervous...), etc. If he's truely sorry for what he did and wants to make good on his fuck-up, then he'll bend over backwards to make you happy.
nokaoibeachgirl
New member
Sometimes people aren't so good to us at the start for whatever reasons, and sometimes only after truly screwing up and learning what they stand to lose do they change. I agree with Daisy however, there is no excuse he should have talked to you about your unavailablity. I guess right now you guys hve a lot to talk about and you should definitely milk the situation in the meantime! Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Hard-Bitten
New member
nokaoibeachgirl said:
I have thought about this scenario as well. I do still keep in touch with him, it weird when we are dating I would rarely talk to him but since we broken up we talk more then we use to :s
He did not talk to me about my unavaliablity issues because he was being patient with me about my finianical situation .he didn't want to bothersome.
Bikini Mod
New member
Blah, blah, blah....
Are you married? Do you have children? Do you share real estate and a bank account?
Darlin.... if you think so little of yourself that you will tolerate a man who cheated on you because "it was your fault because you weren't as available as you would have liked to have been because of your financial situation" then I will hold my tongue and wish you well.
Are you married? Do you have children? Do you share real estate and a bank account?
Darlin.... if you think so little of yourself that you will tolerate a man who cheated on you because "it was your fault because you weren't as available as you would have liked to have been because of your financial situation" then I will hold my tongue and wish you well.
Hard-Bitten
New member
I think I step on him more then he step on me..velvett said:
Hard-Bitten
New member
BIKINIMOM said:
LOL!
Easy up there (=
I was referring to the fact I was trying to earn a living on my own paying my bills/rent. I was working long hours and was rarely avaliable for him. He did not mind that, he was willing to be patience and bare with it the fact that I was able to see him 2x a week or less.
I do not think lower of myself. I don't tolerate for what he did. I don't understand why he would want to be with me if I wasn't the ' ideal gf' he wanted to be with.
Hard-Bitten said:
People don't change, they could behave differently for a while and they MAY grow as a person but they don't change.
He either wants you back because he thinks he can't get better, it's just easier to go back to what you know even if it's bad, he wants to get you comfortable and then dump you or he has zero self-esteem.
I think that about covers all options.
Anyone else?
Hard-Bitten
New member
velvett said:
I think it's comfort.
Thanks!
blueta2
New member
velvett said:
Not true! People can I do change! I am a good example. I cheated on my ex of 11yrs. Why? B/c he was NEVER around and neglected me. We are humans, we need food, shelter, love, water etc....so when you are lacking this, you go find it. I am not saying what I did was correct. It was wrong, stupid and immature, but I did it! I learned a hard lesson which I will never do again!
Now for taking him back. He may have changed, BUT you will never trust him again. Mistrust is the WORST torture on the planet. You will live in the "crazies" and always wonder where he is when you can't find him.
We do not know you or your boyfriend at all, so tough call, but even if you did take him back, even if he was very sorry and would never do it again, you will always have an element of mistrust!
Good luck
Hard-Bitten
New member
blueta2 said:
I agree.
That's was the reason why I don't blame him because i was not around and I neglected him totally. Thank you!
Hard-Bitten
New member
blueta2 said:
True, though cheaters as usually classified as ' pigs'
Hard-Bitten
New member
krissy said:
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