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You don't go looking for a good man they find you.
Thoughts and opinions on this?
Thoughts and opinions on this?
Got this piece of advice last night...
- Thread starter superqt4u2nv
- Start date
MissJanet79
New member
I dunno... I guess in a way that's true. I mean I never bothered "looking" for anything... I knew what I wanted & if that guy came along, great, if not, then I knew he'd come around eventually. I wouldn't stress it at all. I was living w/ a roomie after high school graduation & didn't date from like 18-20... then after that, I started dating a little. I was away on a mini-getaway in ATL w/ the girls, 4 months after a BAD relationship. Wasn't even thinkin' about meeting anyone for a while... & there in ATL, is where I met my honey. I guess good things really do come to those who wait! 
Well I don't really think I look for things they just sorta happen. I haven't had a bf in around a year and half. I am cool with this I been dating a lot. It slowed down over the past little while because I had an interest in someone. Well that has gone sideways and since then I have already been on a date and I have another one with another guy lined up. Both these guys had expressed an interest in me well I had the interest in the other guy but I kept them at arms length. I even told the one guy about the situation with the other guy on our date yesterday.
mbrooke5
New member
superqt4u2nv said:
Hey girl, it's good to be honest...maybe somewhere down the line you will like one of the other guys because you get to know them better...and the one that you really like will be forgotten. But I respect individuals who are honest upfront...and keep those boys at arm's length til your ready!!
Bump for a few more opnions on the matter. Werd, Velvette, Daisy, Shelly come on ladies don't be shy!
I think there's truth in it.
You just need to be in a place of your life that you know who you are and like who you are and others will see your inner happiness. (sounds corny I know)
"I need to find a man/woman" - shows and it comes across as desparate not sexy.
Keep your heart and mind open and they will be filled in good time.
I promise.
Rush nothing and if it doesn't feel right take a step back and see where the jouney leads you or change direction.
You just need to be in a place of your life that you know who you are and like who you are and others will see your inner happiness. (sounds corny I know)
"I need to find a man/woman" - shows and it comes across as desparate not sexy.
Keep your heart and mind open and they will be filled in good time.
I promise.
Rush nothing and if it doesn't feel right take a step back and see where the jouney leads you or change direction.
Werd
New member
velvett said:You just need to be in a place of your life that you know who you are and like who you are and others will see your inner happiness. (sounds corny I know)
WERD
Everything happens for a reason darlin'....
I have been through a shitstorm and then some (as have many MANY of us) but I never really understood what all of this meant. I was never desperate but I just didn't know how to be alone. I had never really finished my adolescent because I did marry too young and married for all the wrong reasons. Didn't know even know what made me happy for goodness sake!
I would go through spurts where I would date out the wazoo both because I got approached a lot and also to fill a massive void in my life. I ended up even more miserable "dating" then sitting home waiting for my brains to leak out of my head because of all the bullshit nightmare crap that was going on in my personal life. Then shit went from bad to worse and my entire life fell apart several months back. There were several weeks where I spent most of my time drunk and/or crying hysterically walking around in a daze but somehow I had to pull my shit together for my kids because we couldn't live without each other anymore.
Anyhoo, one sentence changed my life. The social worker who was involved in our case for the past few years asked me, "Are you getting any counseling? After all, you are an abused woman." It hit me like a ton of bricks.... literally. I told her that I WOULD LOVE IT, but lacked funds. She gave me the name of a nation wide organization designed to help women specifically in circumstances like my own (even though my case was nothing compared to so many others). WOMEN HELPING WOMEN is their name. Can I just tell you that that first phone call was THE HARDEST thing I ever did? I guess it is akin to an alcoholic or drug addict checking themselves in for rehab or some such sitch.
Long story short (If there is such a thing in my case 'cause I talk so damned much LOL) - I began my weekly therapy sessions and within a few weeks I went from crying hysterically during every session to smiling a lot and actually walking IN feeling good; having exciting new perspectives that "just seemed" to come all on their own!
I still have the same problems today that I had several months - heck that I have had for several years but the difference is simple, yet simultaneously profound.
IT IS ME.
Amazingly enough, because I am "fixing me" an entire host of "new old" friends are seemingly magically appearing in my life - meaning that they were always there, I just didn't seem to gravitate towards them as I was too busy fostering relationships with people that were extremely abusive in many aspects. I was just too screwed up to realize it. And the "old old" friends are but a distant hazy memory only cropping up in my head when I come into contact with a toxic new force or when someone really wonderful pleasantly surprizes me with yet another gentle act of kindness in stark contrast to how awful these other peeps used to treat me.
I know QT that this does not apply to you. I am just relating how I came to be who I am at this point in my life and how the original question and statement relates to me. Forgive me if I droned on. I was only trying to answer your question as fully as I possibly could.
You are very young and have an entire lifetime of wonderful experiences ahead of you. ENJOY BEING YOU. When you focus on YOU and do what pleases you - activities, schooling, job, fostering loving relationships with your friends and family you will absolutely GLOW and suddenly, without even realizing it you will no longer feel any sort of "void". It will be amazing how differently THE SAME world will appear to you when you change the way your inner eyes see not only your world, but how you see YOUR PLACE in.
Werd said:You are very young and have an entire lifetime of wonderful experiences ahead of you. ENJOY BEING YOU. When you focus on YOU and do what pleases you - activities, schooling, job, fostering loving relationships with your friends and family you will absolutely GLOW and suddenly, without even realizing it you will no longer feel any sort of "void". It will be amazing how differently THE SAME world will appear to you when you change the way your inner eyes see not only your world, but how you see YOUR PLACE in.
SO true! Happiness within yourself is a powerful magnet for good relationships with others.
I am guessing that would be the reason the last guy was attracted to me. I was at a very good place in my life when he meet me. I just need to find my way back there. Thanks ladies for your input.FitFossil said:
