Going without sex is messing with my head.

[txbondsman]

Bear in mind, I'm 43, my husband is 54, and we've been exclusively together as a couple for 14 years. I think we're allowed to get to the point where it's a little once in a while. If we did it every day, at this stage of the game, it would be a burden. We have busy, stressful lives, if we manage once or twice a week spontaneously (that whole scheduling thing does not work for us, too much pressure) then it's all good and we're both content.

In the first four or five years of our relationship we tore each other up daily. But things do generally cool off after a few years, especially as you get a little older.

we're 43 and 49, kid, I'm busy, she's busy, we're tired, I can't even spell spontanneous. Wouldn't matter anyway. She's stressed, I'm....not, that pisses her off even more. She always calls the shots pertaining to sex, it's usually when I'm busy as hell and need to get to the jail, people waiting, THEN she says, I'm feeling amorous. Well, gimme an hour so I can make our living and I'll be back. OH HELL no, I'm putting her after work, that causes a fight, more stress........ uhhhhhh, just forget it.

 

[javaguru]

we're 43 and 49, kid, I'm busy, she's busy, we're tired, I can't even spell spontanneous. Wouldn't matter anyway. She's stressed, I'm....not, that pisses her off even more. She always calls the shots pertaining to sex, it's usually when I'm busy as hell and need to get to the jail, people waiting, THEN she says, I'm feeling amorous. Well, gimme an hour so I can make our living and I'll be back. OH HELL no, I'm putting her after work, that causes a fight, more stress........ uhhhhhh, just forget it.

That's marriage bro....

 

[wootoom]

Kind of like your life?

loolololol

 

[musclemom]

we're 43 and 49, kid, I'm busy, she's busy, we're tired, I can't even spell spontanneous. Wouldn't matter anyway. She's stressed, I'm....not, that pisses her off even more. She always calls the shots pertaining to sex, it's usually when I'm busy as hell and need to get to the jail, people waiting, THEN she says, I'm feeling amorous. Well, gimme an hour so I can make our living and I'll be back. OH HELL no, I'm putting her after work, that causes a fight, more stress........ uhhhhhh, just forget it.

Stress is the bar #1 single worst libido killer, and I don't care how peaceful you think your regular life is, if you go on a nice vacation and suddenly your libido kicks up after day two or three then the stress in your life is impacting you.

As for kids, like I said in my K, until they get old enough that you can leave them alone in the house and be reasonably confident they're not going to kill themselves they will screw with your sex life. Kids have "sex radar" like nobody's business and it's the best mood killer out there. They know just when to be needy and clingy and fulfilling those needs basically drains the shit out of a woman's emotional reserves.

See if you can't work more quickies into your repertoire, at least that maintains the parental emotional bond. I know for me, particularly when I'm feeling stressed, I'd prefer quickies over having an extended session. I want to feel loved, desirable, but I don't feel like having to do a lot of work (if that makes sense, it's kind of hard to explain). It's like: "Stop fucking worrying about my orgasm please, it's just putting more pressure on me, I don't want an orgasm I just want you to be happy and to know I love you and love being with you."

 

[ricco561]

Stress is the bar #1 single worst libido killer, and I don't care how peaceful you think your regular life is, if you go on a nice vacation and suddenly your libido kicks up after day two or three then the stress in your life is impacting you.

As for kids, like I said in my K, until they get old enough that you can leave them alone in the house and be reasonably confident they're not going to kill themselves they will screw with your sex life. Kids have "sex radar" like nobody's business and it's the best mood killer out there. They know just when to be needy and clingy and fulfilling those needs basically drains the shit out of a woman's emotional reserves.

See if you can't work more quickies into your repertoire, at least that maintains the parental emotional bond. I know for me, particularly when I'm feeling stressed, I'd prefer quickies over having an extended session. I want to feel loved, desirable, but I don't feel like having to do a lot of work (if that makes sense, it's kind of hard to explain). It's like: "Stop fucking worrying about my orgasm please, it's just putting more pressure on me, I don't want an orgasm I just want you to be happy and to know I love you and love being with you."

Could I forward this to my wife?

 

[Delinquent]

I can't jerk off by myself anymore... Any of guys have that problem?

That's a new one to me. Maybe it's because I haven't been single since my freshman year of high school (3 GF's total since 1995) plus I'm sure the multitude of stresses that I have right now don't help but sex just isn't that important to me anymore.

It's baffled me for a while and I'm sure I'd have a blast being single as I'm sure a lot of it is because sex has always been with the same person for so long though since I'm married and have a daughter, being single isn't something I'm looking for.

Seriously if it wasn't for my wife who's libido is much higher than mine, we'd probably have sex a couple times a year. It's such a labored task to me when I can get the same ending from a few minutes of "alone" time. It doesn't feel good during sex like women seem to feel, at least to me.

I've never considered sex this mind blowing, uber-intimate experience that brings two people together or whatever garbage they say about it. It's breeding pure and simple. Sure it feels good at the end but the journey to get there is no different to me than watching a video

 

[musclemom]

Could I forward this to my wife?

Yeah, I'm sure she'll just LOOOOOVVVE hearing it Even telling your S/O "Let's just have a quickie," can sometimes be a bummer for the guys. They not only are horny, they want their PARTNER to be horny and enthusiastic. That's the part that women (particularly stressed out women) have a hard time with.

 

[Lestat]

just jerk it bro, i get that way after 2 days of no release.

 

[ricco561]

^ I do, but sex every now and then might be nice.

 

[musclemom]

I've never considered sex this mind blowing, uber-intimate experience that brings two people together or whatever garbage they say about it. It's breeding pure and simple. Sure it feels good at the end but the journey to get there is no different to me than watching a video

See, now to me that is the most depressing thing I've read in this whole thread.