Girlfriend dosent want sex, any suggestions?

[blueta2]

When I was 18, I was with a guy that I had already been with for 2 yrs. I never ever ever ever wanted to have sex with him. The reason, he was so bad sexually, his penis smelled and I was just not into him "that way"
He was a super great person (actually still a great friend today) but it never worked out. I stayed with him for 6 yrs and the last yr of the relationship, we had sex once.
I knew it was him b/c when I finally left him for another guy, my new boyfriend and I were sex crazy and it lasted 11 yrs.

Just maybe you're doing something to turn her off?!

 

[musclemom]

witch is why there so dumb.lol

Well, here's the funny thing. What I just told you about in there was transferrence and in certain types of therapy transferrence is absolutely necessary for psychological healing to take place, but the normal course of affairs is that the emotions are transferred to the psychotherapist and in that way the client can work out whatever's eating at them by taking it out on the therapist.

The fact is very, very few people possess the objective personal insight to realize what they do and why they do it.

 

[omega529]

When I was 18, I was with a guy that I had already been with for 2 yrs. I never ever ever ever wanted to have sex with him. The reason, he was so bad sexually, his penis smelled and I was just not into him "that way"
He was a super great person (actually still a great friend today) but it never worked out. I stayed with him for 6 yrs and the last yr of the relationship, we had sex once.
I knew it was him b/c when I finally left him for another guy, my new boyfriend and I were sex crazy and it lasted 11 yrs.

Just maybe you're doing something to turn her off?!

I must be doing something to turn her off, and i dont know how to turn her back on.....i dont want to be know as a "nice guy"......Maybe i comunicate with her to much, we talk every day, and i see her about 2 or 3 times per week......i dont know, im going to try, but if something dosent change within the next couple weeks, im going to brake up with her, cause something isnt working......

 

[SpyWizard]

well, i like her, but it wouldnt kill me to brake up with her......As far as i know she dosent have a medical problem or a bad past, ive been knowing her for 5 years, and have dated her once before, shes always stuck behind me and has been really supportive of everything i do (unless its bad, like drugs) witch is why i want to try to make it work.....the only thing i can think of is that she never knew who her father was untill last year, also her last long relationship was supposably all about sex...... she has only been with one other guy besides me sexually......yes i do lick kat, never hers though............what do you mean has she seen her gyno?

medical issues, allergic to whatever that causes inflammation, or maybe you are just too big for her..

 

[Sassy69]

Dam I missed that small detail - good call MM!

 

[omega529]

The highlighted sentence is key here.

If she's tight, but wet and still in pain, you guys are not physically compatible.

If she's tight and dry, she has a problem, either mental or physical.

Trust me on this, pain down there makes it impossible to enjoy sex. Feels like being skinned alive from the inside out.

Interesting.....she gets wet, just verry tight, but she hasent had sex in almost 2 years.

 

[omega529]

A gallon of Astroglide won't fix lack of enthusiasm

If she was INTO him/sex and hurting, I'm betting she'd be beating the doctor's door down trying to find an answer.

It's been my observation than when a woman has a sex problem and it's a legitimate physical problem, they'll say something to the effect of "I don't know what's wrong with me," or "something's wrong." HOWEVER, when it's psychological, they are rarely motivated to do anything to fix it and will do anything except say "I need to talk to someone and get some help," in fact they usually resent the implication that something ain't right. If they're OVERsexed, they tell the guy there's something wrong with HIM for not screwing their brains out 24/7. If they're UNDERsexed, again, it's the guys fault, this time for wanting it TOO much.

There's a very GOOD reason for this. When a woman has a sex problem 90% of the time it's because she's had a negative sexual experience with a man previously, she may have even forgotten or repressed the incident, but subconsciously, she transfers her sexual problems to her current relationship. In a sense, it is a "man's" fault she has a problem ... just not the man she's involved with.

"I don't know what's wrong with me" Is exactly what she said too.....

 

[musclemom]

"I don't know what's wrong with me" Is exactly what she said too.....

Then tell her to speak to her gynecologist. There are physical conditions that could be corrected (not saying this is her situation but I'm telling you you NEED to eliminate the obvious, first).

Offer to go with her, hold her hand. Tell her she deserves a satisfying sex life, too, and she doesn't need to be ashamed for asking for help. If she has a physical problem she needs to have it attended to!

 

[blueta2]

I must be doing something to turn her off, and i dont know how to turn her back on.....i dont want to be know as a "nice guy"......Maybe i comunicate with her to much, we talk every day, and i see her about 2 or 3 times per week......i dont know, im going to try, but if something dosent change within the next couple weeks, im going to brake up with her, cause something isnt working......

my suggestion. Ask her to come out and be honest as to why she does not want sex. Ask her to maybe see a Gyno. If she cannot be honest or work on the sex life, then you need to do what's best for you.
DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Sometimes ppl just are not compatible. As soon as I broke up with my ex, he had a slew of woman chasing him. Him and I just did not have that chemistry.
Don't let it get ya down. You're a young dude and will have a good future of great sex

 

[H_T_]

try a half nelson....