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games people play....

Carmen

Carmen

Elite Mentor
Platinum
i have a friend, who is nice looking i think
http://uploads.bestupload.com/redir/59892.jpg
She's 40 and has been divorced for about 11 years and is a constant state of depression over her single status. Sometimes to the point of bitterness. She dates a lot, but it rarely progresses past the first or second date and then when it does, the relationship BARELY takes off the ground before its over and then she goes on another rant about how hard it is to find a good, decent, single guy.
since, of course, i've never been on a date with her, i have no idea what she is doing- but i tend to think she talks about herself a lot. OR she drinks too much cause she tends to do that. She is a fun person though.

Anyway... she just called me and was telling me about a guy she has been after for a while. she's gone out with him a few times, but his interest in her is obviously waning because there are weeks at a time that she doesn't hear from him.
just before she called me, she said the guy called and asked what she was doing this weekend.
I said 'oh, thats great! what are you going to do with him?'
she said "NOTHING... i said i was busy"
I asked what was she doing and she said.. nothing. she just didn't think he should call late wed. night and know that she had absolutely no plans for the weekend.
so i said "but you DON"T have plans for the weekend."
and she said she didn't want him thinking she had no life.
um... ok. that just confuses the hell out of me. she asked what i would have done and i told her, i would have said "great! i have no plans at all for the weekend!"
she laughed at me and said i have a lot to learn.
????
no thanks... i don't think i want to know that whole game.
 
shes talking about making a man beg for a date....it obviously works for her

:rolleyes:



WTF??



WHY do so many people play games?
 
The Shadow said:
shes talking about making a man beg for a date....it obviously works for her

:rolleyes:



WTF??



WHY do so many people play games?
Click to expand...

i don't know... she didn't want him knowing she was free? i've seen stuff like that in that stupid book 'the rules' but i don't get it.
 
The Shadow said:
^^^LOL

I had the games line before you changed the title
Click to expand...

yeah, i couldn't post it for a while, sorry.
 
I hope she finds the right guy.......dating is hard
 
Ulcasterdropout said:
I'd bang your friend...
Click to expand...

i'll tell her you said so. :)
 
Sugarplum said:
i don't know... she didn't want him knowing she was free? i've seen stuff like that in that stupid book 'the rules' but i don't get it.
Click to expand...


..the "rule" is a three day rule slead time on dates...


she's writing her own book:

"How to ever not GET a date."
 
The Shadow said:
..the "rule" is a three day rule slead time on dates...


she's writing her own book:

"How to ever not GET a date."
Click to expand...

so a guy has to ask you three days (wait... not YOU. i mean 'a woman') before the day he wants to go out or the woman should say no?
thats dumb. if she's free, and she wants to go... GO.
 
Sugarplum said:
so a guy has to ask you three days (wait... not YOU. i mean 'a woman') before the day he wants to go out or the woman should say no?
thats dumb. if she's free, and she wants to go... GO.
Click to expand...

thats the stupid RULE in the RULE book
 
i prefer a 2 year lead time. anything less and i say i have plans.
 
SoKlueles said:
I hope she finds the right guy.......dating is hard
Click to expand...
The Hawaiian shirt guy called and asked if your free Saturday night..;)
 
Sugarplum said:
i have a friend, who is nice looking i think
http://uploads.bestupload.com/redir/59892.jpg
She's 40 and has been divorced for about 11 years and is a constant state of depression over her single status. Sometimes to the point of bitterness. She dates a lot, but it rarely progresses past the first or second date and then when it does, the relationship BARELY takes off the ground before its over and then she goes on another rant about how hard it is to find a good, decent, single guy.
since, of course, i've never been on a date with her, i have no idea what she is doing- but i tend to think she talks about herself a lot. OR she drinks too much cause she tends to do that. She is a fun person though.

Anyway... she just called me and was telling me about a guy she has been after for a while. she's gone out with him a few times, but his interest in her is obviously waning because there are weeks at a time that she doesn't hear from him.
just before she called me, she said the guy called and asked what she was doing this weekend.
I said 'oh, thats great! what are you going to do with him?'
she said "NOTHING... i said i was busy"
I asked what was she doing and she said.. nothing. she just didn't think he should call late wed. night and know that she had absolutely no plans for the weekend.
so i said "but you DON"T have plans for the weekend."
and she said she didn't want him thinking she had no life.
um... ok. that just confuses the hell out of me. she asked what i would have done and i told her, i would have said "great! i have no plans at all for the weekend!"
she laughed at me and said i have a lot to learn.
????
no thanks... i don't think i want to know that whole game.
Click to expand...


Wow, she's 40 and still doing this mindgame shit? That's too bad. No wonder so many people out there are cynical, bitter, confused, angry bastards.

But we can't be real with each other, ohh nooo, cuz we'd risk hurting their feelings. Go figure, how ironic.

I scoff at mind games.
This is probably why I don't get laid a lot.

Oh well.


:spin:
 
I was ready to ask you for her phone number before you got the the "but..." part.

BTW, linky no worky.
 
This is ironic I was just talking about "games" people play the other day. I think it all comes down to power, what I mean is who has the upper hand, or who likes who more. It is a constant struggle to make sure you do not look stupid or "getting played" I think that drives alot of people to play games. Also what I have experienced is a person always wants what he or she cant have. I have dated alot of girls and I never seem to want the ones I can have I only want the ones I cant. I think your friend did not want to look desperate or a "loser" to have no plans on the weekend. And the fact that this guy can call and have her at his finger tips when ever he wants her pisses her off. In this situation he has more power so to say, so by her saying no he is thinking damn what is she doing that is more important than me? Then he starts to get interested again just by her saying no. I think games are dumb as hell, I dont play them, I like you, you will know it I will tell you straight out.

But I have to say I am 25 and dont play games the thought of a 40 year old still playing games is crazy.
 
its about perception. she wants to portray herself as having an active social life (which is attractive to other people, usually) and also, given that that guy goes for weeks without without calling her (dont know how far they have gone before this, sexually/emotionally though) she doesnt want to come across like she is so desperate as to be at his beck and call.

she did the right thing in that she should keep him wanting more, but the trick is to give a little at a time, and keep him keen...not slam the door shut in his face, letting their rapport go to hell. what she should have done is say that she has some informal sort of plans to join a group of friends doing something on the weekend (which makes her look social/attractive) and then ask what he had in mind (gives him a chance to express interest, initiate a date, or let him talk about his weekend) then she could arrange to maybe meet him "later on" in the night, or setup something during the week.

anyway thats how id do it :)

and besides, sugarplum, how can you complain about game playing when you yourself have a 2 day rule? ;)
 
The Shadow said:
shes talking about making a man beg for a date....it obviously works for her

:rolleyes:
WTF?
WHY do so many people play games?
Click to expand...

totally. I hate games.

The sad thing is that everyone sort of plays games to some extent. (Some, like this girl do it worse than others) Its almost like a mating ritual, a dance or something.
 
hanselthecaretaker said:
Wow, she's 40 and still doing this mindgame shit? That's too bad. No wonder so many people out there are cynical, bitter, confused, angry bastards.

But we can't be real with each other, ohh nooo, cuz we'd risk hurting their feelings. Go figure, how ironic.

I scoff at mind games.
This is probably why I don't get laid a lot.

Oh well.
:spin:
Click to expand...

maybe we wont get laid as much, but at least we are not deceitful game-playing morons. :)
 
strangebrew said:
Her first problem is being depressed over her single status. Who you're with should not define who you are.
Click to expand...

but every once in a while it'd be nice to have somebody to look at the stars with, hold hands with, and make out with,

u know what I'm sayin?
 
Your freind sounds like the type of woman that help men establish the perfect stereotype...lol.....i personaly neve rput up with that type of crap if i see any sign of any stupid mind game that would just turn me off right there past anything else...
 
Sugarplum said:
she just didn't think he should call late wed. night and know that she had absolutely no plans for the weekend.
Click to expand...

that line comes from a dating book for women called The Rules...which says that a man should not call later than weds night to make a date for the weekend, if he does call really late on a wednesday night then the woman should turn him down just to show him that she has a life and lots of plans even if she does not!!!

some women do follow those rulse....
 
evansteve said:
but every once in a while it'd be nice to have somebody to look at the stars with, hold hands with, and make out with,

u know what I'm sayin?
Click to expand...

I know what you're saying. It shouldn't be a requirement though. I feel like I could live a pretty happy life by myself if I had to.
 
EnderJE said:
Wow. She's no spring chicken. What's she saving herself for?
Click to expand...

well, nothing really. she's not a prude at ALL :worried: , she seems to follow some guideline i've seen other women do too about what's right- instead of what she feels/thinks/wants.
she doesn't answer her phone if a guy calls too late or early in the day, even if she's up. and then she's not happy with him. my thought is if you're 40 and really not happy being single and a guy calls you at 11pm just to say goodnight... BE HAPPY.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
its about perception. she wants to portray herself as having an active social life (which is attractive to other people, usually) and also, given that that guy goes for weeks without without calling her (dont know how far they have gone before this, sexually/emotionally though) she doesnt want to come across like she is so desperate as to be at his beck and call.

she did the right thing in that she should keep him wanting more, but the trick is to give a little at a time, and keep him keen...not slam the door shut in his face, letting their rapport go to hell. what she should have done is say that she has some informal sort of plans to join a group of friends doing something on the weekend (which makes her look social/attractive) and then ask what he had in mind (gives him a chance to express interest, initiate a date, or let him talk about his weekend) then she could arrange to maybe meet him "later on" in the night, or setup something during the week.

anyway thats how id do it :)

and besides, sugarplum, how can you complain about game playing when you yourself have a 2 day rule? ;)
Click to expand...

i do?
read that again, its a 2 YEAR rule.
:)
 
strangebrew said:
I know what you're saying. It shouldn't be a requirement though. I feel like I could live a pretty happy life by myself if I had to.
Click to expand...

some people don't like that- women tend to be nurturers, and its socially acceptable to be a couple, not so much for a single woman i think.
she'll be throwing herself a pity party soon enough, complaining to me about things i have no sympathy for.
 
SoKlueles said:
I hope she finds the right guy.......dating is hard
Click to expand...

my avatar looks funny right after yours.
 
Rules!?!?


Will I ever get a date? Does ignorance of the rules help at all?















How about desire? Does desire win any points anymore?
Damn...
 
I do see her point of View
I also recognise that she has been reading THE RULES BOOK,
Which is understandable, some guys and i mean some guys, call girls they are not really interested in the last minute only because, they have no plans of their own, when you really like a girl, it is gentle man like, to ask her out in advance, after all, she may have a life and might but able to fit you in the last minute,
But i do think Women take the rules a bit too far, it is a guild and NOT the bible, I think your friend needs to relax a bit more, i get the feeling she can be very intense or just too chilled, which makes a guy think she might not be interested.
 
Meantime1 said:
I do see her point of View
I also recognise that she has been reading THE RULES BOOK,
Which is understandable, some guys and i mean some guys, call girls they are not really interested in the last minute only because, they have no plans of their own, when you really like a girl, it is gentle man like, to ask her out in advance, after all, she may have a life and might but able to fit you in the last minute,
But i do think Women take the rules a bit too far, it is a guild and NOT the bible, I think your friend needs to relax a bit more, i get the feeling she can be very intense or just too chilled, which makes a guy think she might not be interested.
Click to expand...

that is exactly the intention of the Rules book!!!

with what occasion have you read this book?
 
ChefWide said:
Rules!?!?


Will I ever get a date? Does ignorance of the rules help at all?




How about desire? Does desire win any points anymore?
Damn...
Click to expand...

you will get a date and desire on both parties play a major role

I think the the message these types of books try to convey to women is do not let yourself get pushed around by anyone and also that people should follow some sort of dating etiquette which places an emphasis on respect and courteous behaviour
 
ChefWide said:
Rules!?!?


Will I ever get a date? Does ignorance of the rules help at all?

How about desire? Does desire win any points anymore?
Damn...
Click to expand...

i think desire wins over following of any rules.
I know that if you're really into someone, you are thinking ahead of time about seeing them, but that doesn't mean you have had the opportunity to call, or you wanted to see them but didn't know what to do, or you had to build up courage, or maybe you weren't sure- but she's never gonna be the one he REALLY wants if she doesn't just be herself. as well as give him an opportunity to see her, nomatter when he asks.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
omg sugarplum i cant believe your k message :eek2:
Click to expand...


show-off.

:lmao:
 
So stupid. If you're free and you're interested in the other party then go! If I get the sense from someone that they play games like that, seeya.

Nothing annoys me more than unnecessary drama and games. Ridiculous.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
am not ;)

sugarplum i think has just started a test cycle :worried:
Click to expand...
lol... it was a joke cowboy. i didn't REALLY want you to dress up in a pink lace ballerina outfit.
 
wnt2bBeast said:
so your really not busy this weekend? you were just blowing me off?? :(
Click to expand...

lol.
wait... you're the one that's busy!
:worried:
 
wnt2bBeast said:
ohh thats right.but i really am...you know i wouldnt miss time with my shoog :)
Click to expand...

:busy:
oh good, my evil schemes are working. lol
 
ChefWide said:
Rules!?!?

Will I ever get a date? Does ignorance of the rules help at all?



How about desire? Does desire win any points anymore?
Damn...
Click to expand...


Chefy, some people follow the rules, and some make up their own. Which would you rather be?




Yep, thought so. :)
 
so will women ever like a desperate feller like me who just goes straight up to them and admits that he likes them, without playing any games?
 
Game playing is stupid. I don't understand why people do it. I listen to girls and guys at work talk about the stupid games they play. Then they'll ask what we think. My answer is alway the same... if you want to call the person, just call; if you want to go out with them, then do it; do whatever it is you really want to do...
 
lucidblue said:
Game playing is stupid. I don't understand why people do it. I listen to girls and guys at work talk about the stupid games they play. Then they'll ask what we think. My answer is alway the same... if you want to call the person, just call; if you want to go out with them, then do it; do whatever it is you really want to do...
Click to expand...


....and that for them, is playing games. :o
 
lucidblue said:
Game playing is stupid. I don't understand why people do it. I listen to girls and guys at work talk about the stupid games they play. Then they'll ask what we think. My answer is alway the same... if you want to call the person, just call; if you want to go out with them, then do it; do whatever it is you really want to do...
Click to expand...

thats what i say too.
I don't think i even know how to be any other way and i wouldn't want a guy to be any different either.
 
evansteve said:
so will women ever like a desperate feller like me who just goes straight up to them and admits that he likes them, without playing any games?
Click to expand...


The question you have to ask yourself is: how can you like them if you don't even know them? If your interested in someone then just talk to them, but if you walk right up to a stranger and tell her that you really think she is great then no, it generally won't work. That kind of behavior will put them into defensive mode.

Beauty is more than just skin deep, get to know someone before you confess your love for them.






Wait, aren't you foxygel? If so then nevermind, you won't listen anyway. :D
 
Shes worrying about the appearance of not having a busy weekend when another guy asks her out for said weekend......
She is fucking around with mindgames that women stop doing by age 25, since shes 40 she is a lost cause and will die old and alone.
 
superdave said:
Shes worrying about the appearance of not having a busy weekend when another guy asks her out for said weekend......
She is fucking around with mindgames that women stop doing by age 25, since shes 40 she is a lost cause and will die old and alone.
Click to expand...

well, she wrote me an email this morning. she's depressed cause she's afraid she's gonna die alone.
:rolleyes:
she said everyone she knows has a husband or boyfriend except her.
so ok, why not listen to advice of those that do?
hmmmm
 
evansteve said:
so will women ever like a desperate feller like me who just goes straight up to them and admits that he likes them, without playing any games?
Click to expand...
No. You have to have a shred of skills bruh.
 
Ulcasterdropout said:
The Hawaiian shirt guy called and asked if your free Saturday night..;)
Click to expand...
you know its funny, i havent even seen him since i told him that i wasnt interested
:):):)
 
Forge said:
The question you have to ask yourself is: how can you like them if you don't even know them? If your interested in someone then just talk to them, but if you walk right up to a stranger and tell her that you really think she is great then no, it generally won't work. That kind of behavior will put them into defensive mode.

Beauty is more than just skin deep, get to know someone before you confess your love for them.

Wait, aren't you foxygel? If so then nevermind, you won't listen anyway. :D
Click to expand...

how well do you have to know them before talking to them?

how much do you have to talk to them before asking them out?
 
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