feeling totally, completely hopeless :(

[getnfit06]

I have a long history of dieting n exercising then quitting, etc., etc. I cannot stick with anything. Even though I want it so much.
This has been such a source of frustration for me. In the last year I have put on some pounds and am quite a bit heavier than I was. I feel like i'm looking at someone else's body when i look in the mirror.
I just don't know what to do, I hate myself so much right now and feel so hopeless.
I was on atkins for almost a full two weeks then slipped up and just used that as an excuse to "just have this, then i'll get back on" but it just doesn't stop. I feel extremely fat and bloated and yucky now.
My husband noticed my weight gain tonight (he never says anything but he did mention i'd put on a little weight) . Well that just made me feel horrible

I really could use some good advice right now.

cheryl

 

[supercop]

Well I am a guy so take this with a grain of salt but the key for anyone is consistency. You can't ever stop working out if you want to maintain a healthy fit body it has to become part of your life. Secondly, forget the fad diets and just get in the habit of eating healthier and have a day during the week where you eat a food thats not good for you so you aren't as likely to slip up. Eventually it gets alot easier and you won't crave the foods that are bad for you as much. Best of luck =)

 

[Tatyana]

Well I am a guy so take this with a grain of salt but the key for anyone is consistency. You can't ever stop working out if you want to maintain a healthy fit body it has to become part of your life. Secondly, forget the fad diets and just get in the habit of eating healthier and have a day during the week where you eat a food thats not good for you so you aren't as likely to slip up. Eventually it gets alot easier and you won't crave the foods that are bad for you as much. Best of luck =)

+ 1

Diets are the ban of looking good for life.

Also, the whole thing about being a quitter, how about you phrase that another way.

It is all about the steps you are taking to learn how to live a healthy lifestyle.

It will sometimes be one step forward, two steps back, and often it will be babysteps.

Also the hating how you look and wanting it so bad.

Again, so often it is the head that leads, and what and how you think about yourself and what you are doing has a HUGE impact on your actions.

I found I had the best progress and I was able to transform my body when I really accepted what was the reality of my body, this is how it is right now, and I am going to love the skin I am in.

Yes that is tough, but there is this French existentialist expression 'The longer you resist, the longer it persists'.

One place to start looking to keep you motivated WHY you want to be physically fit.

The whole 'looking good' thing is a motivation, but really it is just icing on the cake.

It is ego-based, and ego won't keep you going.

I will share mine with you. I go to the gym cause I know it makes a difference in the world, and I like to make a difference with people.

It is one of my major motivations, that everyone is well and feels beautiful.

When people are happy in the skin they are in, then they start looking for other ways and places they can make a difference with other people, and the world gets to be a much better and happier place.

Works for me.

Also, to get into shape, and to make it easy to maintain that weight, weight-training (I will even go so far as to say bodybuilding), is essential.

If you want help with specifics, then please feel free to post up a typical days diet and what you do for training.

 

[getnfit06]

a typical days diet when i'm trying to watch it is verrry low carb, meats, veggies, no bread or fruit or nuts. I feel pretty good on that although in the beginning there are 2-3 days of feeling crappy but after that i feel great and not as hungry and have more willpower to resist things i shouldn't eat. but if i allow myself a cheat, for some reason i continue in this thinking " well i'll go ahead and eat these cracker , or these cookies now before i get back on." and then i just can't get back on. I have a weakness for sweets. Diabetes runs in the family so i need to be careful. I need someone to follow me around i guess and make me exercise and stop me from eating crap. LOL That is pathetic i know, i am very lacking in the self control dept.
I' m thinking a new eating plan but it can't be too complicated becuase i'm so busy with kids, etc. i just can't give it tons of thought. or maybe i should try the low carb again. It does diminish my desire for sweets!
Training, ugh i have dumbells a barbell i hate, a treadmill that is stuck on the highest incline (mechanical probs) but runs.
I was looking at a Jeri Love exercise dvd and maybe getting a step. If you don't know who she is, it seems like mostly a training dvd which i like, i'm not into arobics haha. It uses weights and a step. I would love to get a weight machine but not enuff cashola on hand.

 

[getnfit06]

Ok i've been doing some reading about ckd diets. This sounds like a possiblity for me maybe.
Since it uses the low carb eating through the week (and i have a lot of recipes that i really like) it'd be a no brainer, then I could have some le-way on the wkend with the carbs. I don't know, maybe.Thoughts???????

 

[cindylou]

what is your workout pgm like?

ckd is still asking for trouble - binge eating and the like -

imo -i think you should try a balanced diet of plain old fashioned calorie counting.

 

[curvymommy]

Hi Cheryl. I can relate with you. What works for me is to figure out your basal metabolic rate (BMR) Here is a useful link:

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

Mine is 1500 calories a day. I try to eat that many calories in the following areas:
Lean dense protiens
loads of veggies
eggs (2 a day)
Good quality Whole wheat bread
Sweet potato or red potato
raw almonds
All natural Peanut butter
ect...

Anyway that and a ton of water and calorie free beverages. My one vice is coffee but I drink a lot of water before and after.

If you have a hard time with night eating try going to bed earlier. I killed my TV a couple weeks ago and I'm eating less and resting more.

My background is in obesity and what to do to get over that. Trust me when I say GET OFF The diet roller coaster.

A year ago I only allowed myself 3 protein shakes a day (that is only 900 calories a day) No exercise. I lost 10 pounds and gained back 15. I was so pissed!!! That's when I started working out and doing the BMR thing. Now my health, confidence and mood is so much better.

To me a "diet"=failing=downward spiral of shame. I hate that feeling!!!

Good Luck! The ladies here are EXTREMELY helpful and knowlegeable.

 

[Tatyana]

Ok i've been doing some reading about ckd diets. This sounds like a possiblity for me maybe.
Since it uses the low carb eating through the week (and i have a lot of recipes that i really like) it'd be a no brainer, then I could have some le-way on the wkend with the carbs. I don't know, maybe.Thoughts???????

I am not sure why people want to take on diets like this unless they are competitive BBers.

Even then, the low carb thing does not work for everyone.

I would suggest that looking at healthy eating that you can maintain for life is the best way to go.

Carbs are not the 'baddies' that everyone makes them out to be, it is really more of a matter of calories in and calories out.

Think about it this way, the last 'baddie' in popular dieting was fat, everything was low fat, really, that is still promoted.

What has happened having a lot less fat in the diet over the last 20 years, we have an obesity crisis on our hands.

Taking out one of the major macronutrients out of your diet is always going to be a short term solution.

The thing with short term solutions, you get short term results.

If you do want to manipulate your carbs, then you might want to consider something like carb tapering, so eat carbs until early evening, then cut them out.

You also want to consider that all carbs are not created equally.

 

[fitness-rubber]

I am not sure why people want to take on diets like this unless they are competitive BBers.

Even then, the low carb thing does not work for everyone.

I would suggest that looking at healthy eating that you can maintain for life is the best way to go.

Carbs are not the 'baddies' that everyone makes them out to be, it is really more of a matter of calories in and calories out.

Think about it this way, the last 'baddie' in popular dieting was fat, everything was low fat, really, that is still promoted.

What has happened having a lot less fat in the diet over the last 20 years, we have an obesity crisis on our hands.

Taking out one of the major macronutrients out of your diet is always going to be a short term solution.

The thing with short term solutions, you get short term results.

If you do want to manipulate your carbs, then you might want to consider something like carb tapering, so eat carbs until early evening, then cut them out.

You also want to consider that all carbs are not created equally.

As hard as it is - having been frustrated and committed to losing weight at various times and having been eating disordered for a number of years - this is true. Restricting, assuming that any food is "bad" or "good" and rigidly trying to follow a set pattern isn't helpful in the long run - not as much as we'd like it to be at least.

Mostly though, no matter how frustrating it is, your body can and will change - hating yourself is only going to make it much harder (though i'm sorry for the pain that you're feeling).

 

[localgirl]

I have a gf who is going through the same thing & Ive been watching her progress & then fail miserably. Because she will be dedicated for a week & then reward herself with a weekend of boozing & binge eating ( usually comes w/ hangovers..) she tells me how frustrated she is with the whole thing & Ive tryed explaining to her that it is just commitment. Like with any goal you want to reach, you have to keep pushing & working hard even after its obtained, you want to keep what you've worked so hard for, right?
I found working out becomes more of a lifestyle imo.
While my friends get all excited for the weekend, to get dolled up & go out & party like a rockstar. I know that while I may go out for dinner & a couple of martini's, there is no way I am going to club with them after dinner, because it is simply put- BRUTAL- to be waking up & dragging your booze stinkin' booty to the gym. I do get called, by my friends, no fun anymore, but while they are regretting the decisions they made while they were inibriated, I am up & feeling great & staying commited to my plan to be fit & healthy.
Dont get down on yourself lady, you simply need a plan you can stick to, and once you start seeing real progress, that will give you the drive to keep on it.
The moderators on this board are simply brilliant & I am sure would be more than happy to help you put together something.
Good luck to you & remember, You have to work hard to accomplish true results. There are no shortcuts in life.

 

[getnfit06]

thanks everyone!! I just don't know what plan to follow

 

[Tatyana]

thanks everyone!! I just don't know what plan to follow

Do you mean weights?

You train at home?


I was thinking about your diet, I have tried a few things, one was carb cycling, but all it did was send me into major cravings.

You may have the same thing with low carb diets.

 

[getnfit06]

Not really. I just don't know what to eat , how much and when.
That is so hard for me. The only think I know is low carb. I have done it in the past and succeeded. But this time I am having a tough time. It's great until I allow myself a little something and then.. BOOM!

 

[Tatyana]

Not really. I just don't know what to eat , how much and when.
That is so hard for me. The only think I know is low carb. I have done it in the past and succeeded. But this time I am having a tough time. It's great until I allow myself a little something and then.. BOOM!

I would highly recommend you get a copy of Tom Venuto's Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.

If you like, post up what you eat in a typical day, or two (keep a food diary), and the ladies could make suggestions.

 

[fitness-rubber]

I would highly recommend you get a copy of Tom Venuto's Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.

+1

 

[Bikini Mod]

I would highly recommend you get a copy of Tom Venuto's Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.

If you like, post up what you eat in a typical day, or two (keep a food diary), and the ladies could make suggestions.

^^ What she said.

I know how confusing and frustating your feelings are as I had had them FOR YEARS!!!

... that is, until I became more educated about eating properly for MY particular goals and NOT over-training by beating the hell out of myself for hours on end on a DAILY basis.

I have been able to maintain my physique at an "acceptable happy" level for me (meaning no modeling or competing just me being happy in my own skin pretty much all the time with "reality check" adjustments - you know the kind wear you put on a pair of jeans that fit the last time you wore them, now you got that bit of "I REALLY needa cut back on the cookies and icecream" overhang? ) for TEN YEARS. I had pretty much TWENTY YEARS of yo-yo dieting/starving/fad diets/waaaaaaaaaay over the top beating the hell of myself in the gym/eating disorder NIGHTMARE before this decade which was preceded by TEN YEARS of being a fat kid.

...And this is with the some pretty severe health issues for the last ten years....

So, If I could do it... ANYONE can.

 

[getnfit06]

I will definitely check that out. Where can i find that at?
Thanks to everyone that responded, u guys are greaaaaaattt! ; )

 

[Tatyana]

I will definitely check that out. Where can i find that at?
Thanks to everyone that responded, u guys are greaaaaaattt! ; )

It's an e-book, so google Tom Venuto or Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle.

He also sends out weekly or monthly blogs that are really interesting.

 

[getnfit06]

oh, thanks I found it!
Gonna have to wait a little while b4 purchasing though. lol
living paycheck to paycheck right now.
Thanks again!

 

[Bikini Mod]

Don't let waiting on the book keep you from moving ahead TODAY.

Please post up your diet here on the board and you will get more than enough helpfull guidance. And you will come to see that by the time the book arrives you will have already changed your outlook on food and fitness which will make the book more easy to digest.... no pun intended!

 

[getnfit06]

ok bikini mom i will do that.

So far today;

BRK: 2 eggs scrambled, 2 strip bacon, coffee
Lunch: salad *bagged*( prob. 2c.) with couple pinches cheddar, cherry tomatoes, ranch dressing (yeah the reg. whole fat kind, which is ok when low carbing so that is what i got) not sure of amt. probably 1-2 tbs.
meal 3: 1 slice of papa johns bbq chicken pizza This was baaad i know. I just needa go to the grocery store asap.

 

[Bikini Mod]

OK.... first off I want you to change the way you view "food" and "diet".

Diet is now to be used in regards to what YOU DO eat and not food depravation.

ie - "The koala bear's diet consists of eucalyptus leaves."

OK?

Next thing I want you to think of ALL FOOD as fuel, nothing more and nothing less. The type and quantity of that food will change as your energy expenditure and fitness goals change.



That's enough lecture for today. GET TO THE STORE AND BUY LOTS OF GREAT FOOD!!!!

 

[vixensghost]

Great advice from all the ladies here.

I like to think deep sometimes...

Think of your body as an orchestra. All of our systems, organs. muscles, cells,hormones,fluids and chemicals play a different tune. They work solo, but only when they're played 2-gether can you appreciate the total symphony of your own biology.

YOU being the conductor, control how the instruments interact and what the final results will be in the end.

IF you have a few bad days, forgive yourself and keep playin the music. Once you get in tune, it'll be better than any kind of music you've heard before!

GOOD LUCK.

 

[getnfit06]

Thanks ladies that helps put things in perspective.
But what do you suggest that i buy. I am just unsure of like "what" to buy and "what to fix" putting them all together into a meal is like ughhh! Plus i gotta please picky kiddos.
I have some frozen chicken breast tenders in the freezer, and some eggs.....some cans of tuna, salad mix... ????what else and some quick meal ideas for work and home would be much appreciated.

 

[Tatyana]

ok bikini mom i will do that.

So far today;

BRK: 2 eggs scrambled, 2 strip bacon, coffee
Lunch: salad *bagged*( prob. 2c.) with couple pinches cheddar, cherry tomatoes, ranch dressing (yeah the reg. whole fat kind, which is ok when low carbing so that is what i got) not sure of amt. probably 1-2 tbs.
meal 3: 1 slice of papa johns bbq chicken pizza This was baaad i know. I just needa go to the grocery store asap.

Food is not good or bad, it's just food.

It does have various impacts on your body.

I think it has a BIG impact on emotions and how you feel. Some foods will keep your mood quite balanced, and generally happy. Some will make you a bit hyper then sleepy/drained (sugar).

Having a pizza or hamburger every now, no big.

It really is about calories in and out.

Having two-four slices, fine. Eating a whole large pizza by yourself, well, you will probably eat too many calories for the day.



Hey, I used to be a hamburger and fries diet type of girl. Now, if I have one of those weird days where I don't get enough veggies, I really miss them and have extra the next day.

I crave stuff like beet root, red lentils, pumpkin seeds, green leafy stuff, chicken, beef, oatmeal, PEANUT BUTTER, almond butter, hazelnut butter, spinach...............I think you get the idea.

But that didn't happen overnight.

You may want to try eating more meals in the day. I have done up to 8. Right now 5-6 is working for me.

I also don't think the low carb thing is really a long term eating plan.

I am dieting with babynew potatoes and rye or sprouted wheat bread.

Ezekiel bread is AWESOME, but you can't get it in the UK.

I would start to introduce carbs into your diet. Having a half cup of oatmeal or shredded wheat in the morning with eggs or some whey protein would be a good way to start.

Also fruit is ok, cause while it is a carb, it doesn't spike insulin.

It does induce the central path of metabolism, glyconeogenesis, which does turn carbs into energy the body can use (ATP and NADP)

 

[Tatyana]

Thanks ladies that helps put things in perspective.
But what do you suggest that i buy. I am just unsure of like "what" to buy and "what to fix" putting them all together into a meal is like ughhh! Plus i gotta please picky kiddos.
I have some frozen chicken breast tenders in the freezer, and some eggs.....some cans of tuna, salad mix... ????what else and some quick meal ideas for work and home would be much appreciated.

This thread has links to about 4-5 sample diets.

http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/w...hreads-must-read-full-information-363631.html


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shopping List for Newbies

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Healthy Grocery List Fresh Vegetables
Lettuce Other Greens Cucumbers Carrots
Asparagus Zucchini Radishes Tomatoes
Green Beans Onions Green Onions Peppers
Cauliflower Broccoli Peas Celery
Potatoes Corn Sweet Potatoes Squash
Other Vegetables:
____________ ____________ ____________



Fresh Fruits
Bananas Apples Oranges Pears
Peaches Nectarines Grapefruit Berries
Other Fruits:
____________ ____________ ____________



Frozen Foods
Green Beans Peas Mixed Vegetables Carrots
Chicken Breasts Fruit Juice Bars Blueberries Corn
Fish Fillets Onions Vegetarian Burgers Shrimp
Other Frozen:
____________ ____________ ____________



Canned Foods
Black Beans Tomatoes Marinara Sauce Tuna
Salmon Pinto Beans White Beans Pineapples
Other Canned Foods:
____________ ____________ ____________



Meats
Lean Hamburger Pork Chops Steaks Fish
Shell Fish Chicken Turkey Ham
Other Meats:
____________ ____________ ____________



Grains and Cereals
Whole Grain Bread Whole Grain Pasta Whole Grain Cereal Oatmeal
Other Grains: Quinoa, buckwheat, spelt, amaranth, barley
____________ ____________ ____________



Beverages
100% Fruit Juice Sparkling Water Tomato Juice Herb Tea
Other Beverages:
____________ ____________ ____________



Dairy and Eggs
Low Fat Sour Cream Low Fat Milk Cheddar Cheese Butter
Low Fat Cream Cheese Colby Cheese Mozzerella Cheese Yogurt
Other Dairy:
____________ ____________ ____________



Miscellaneous Items
Herbs and Spices Sesame Oil Low Fat Dressings Mustard
Low Fat Mayonaise (HMMMMMM) Honey Low Sodium Soy Sauce Walnuts
Pumpkin Seeds Mixed Nuts Walnuts Pecans
Flax Seeds Olive Oil Walnut Oil Garlic

 

[slat1]

This will sound lame but read this book. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. It will help you understand why you do the things you do. I found it to be extremely helpfull in life, my perspective and my ability to accomplish things.
It may help you figure out why you have not let yourself accomplish certain goals in life like sticking to your past meal plans.

 

[Tatyana]

This will sound lame but read this book. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. It will help you understand why you do the things you do. I found it to be extremely helpfull in life, my perspective and my ability to accomplish things.
It may help you figure out why you have not let yourself accomplish certain goals in life like sticking to your past meal plans.

What he said.

A lot of issues with food, motivation, drive, how you are being about being well and fit has the basis in past experiences, emotions, things you decided about yourself when you were younger.

I have been a chubbette, and I remember the first time I actually looked at the reasons behind why I would comfort eat and dealt with them honestly, the weight just FELL off me even though a lot of things in my diet didn't change drastically.

 

[vixensghost]

Plus i gotta please picky kiddos.

Tat hooked you up BIGGGG TIME!


Your above comment struck a passion inside of me; your "picky kids".


How old are your children? Could you have them in the kitchen with you? You might find that IF you involve them in the cooking( if they are old enough) THEY will become thrilled at eating what they help you prepare. Hey, it's worth a try. It'll also help teach them your new healthy cooking skills. Worth a try if they are old enough.

Also, I find it easier to cook on the weekends for the next week's menu. I spend several hours on Saturday to prepare my menu for the following week.I cook what I can beforehand so there is ZERO stress when I come home from work. Many people fall into eating unhealthy when they do not feel like cooking after work. It's far easier to grab unhealthy choices when you are bogged down with family and chores after work. Just an idea for you.

Get those kids involved as soon as possible. They'll love you for it later in life!

 

[getnfit06]

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!!!!!

I am gonna try Daisy girls diet, but am a little unsure about amounts. I am 5' tall and right now about 116lbs (which is the MOST i've ever weighed) :-[ I am not a muscular person at all, i wonder if I could even develop a muscle. My mom has always been overweight and NO MUSCLE just cellulite. I am looking more and more like her all the time. I am scared!
I'm thinking I should eat a little less than her plan probably??? she's much taller than I.
What can i put on chicken breasts? I like chicken but not so much the white meat ;p What is a good thing to put on them to juicy and flavor them up, because i'm not disciplined enough to eat something that tastes blah, just because it will help me.
Oh and the kids are Gabi-almost 14, chase-11, pierce-8

 

[Tatyana]

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!!!!!

I am gonna try Daisy girls diet, but am a little unsure about amounts. I am 5' tall and right now about 116lbs (which is the MOST i've ever weighed) :-[ I am not a muscular person at all, i wonder if I could even develop a muscle. My mom has always been overweight and NO MUSCLE just cellulite. I am looking more and more like her all the time. I am scared!
I'm thinking I should eat a little less than her plan probably??? she's much taller than I.
What can i put on chicken breasts? I like chicken but not so much the white meat ;p What is a good thing to put on them to juicy and flavor them up, because i'm not disciplined enough to eat something that tastes blah, just because it will help me.
Oh and the kids are Gabi-almost 14, chase-11, pierce-8

I am almost 5'4" and weigh between 64-66 kg/140-145 lb right now, but I can wear a UK size 8-10 or US size 6-8 (even smaller, depends on the cut and fabric).

The numbers on the scale are irrelevant, like you have seen, your mom is mostly cellulite, that is fat being pushed through the connective tissue.

I can hit you up with some flavourings for chicken as well.

Ooops, sorry, my computer is throwing a wobbler and not doing cut and paste.

In the stickies in the top of this forum there is one that says: links to top threads.

The last link in it is one I posted called, help to sort out your diet.

That is where the shopping list is.

I also posted a list of various herbs and spices that work really well to make basic foods more interesting.

It really is dead easy when you get into it.

There is also a couple of BMR calculators that give you an idea of how many calories you need to be eating every day, I think there are three different versions, which one you use right now will not make a huge difference, just pick the one you find the easiest and give it a go.

 

[getnfit06]

Ok I have got to start tomorrow!
I will post up what I eat, even if I screw up. I've got to be accountable ;p
Thanks guys!

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ms getin06 NOWHERE will you find a more helpfull, supportive group of people trying to help you meet YOUR fitness goals.

 

[getnfit06]

Ready to start logging. Should i post here or another area??