Dirty Joke Thread!

[vixenbabe]

I love 'em..Bring 'em on if you have any!

This one is not really dirty..But....It's cute:

On his birthday Patrick asked for a ten speed bike.

His daddy said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80K and your mom just lost her job. Sorry, there is no way we can afford the bike".

The next day the dad see's Patrick heading out the front door with his suitcase. So dad asks, " Son, where are you going?"

Patrick replies, ' I was walking past your bedroom door last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait cuz she was coming too. I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an $80K mortgage, and no bike".

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

HAHa

 

[jwill3:16]

lmao

 

[machaveli]

Q: whats the difference between a bitch and a slut???

A: A slut will fuck you and all your friends and a bitch will fuck all your friends and not you!
-- the architect

 

[karson]

yo

who the fuck lives in a 80K house, thats the real joke.......''
anyways..
what do girls and tile floors have in common?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them the rest of your life....
how do you please a girl????
who cares
how do you make Martha Stewart scream twice?
fuck her in the ass and wipe your dick on her drapes
whats the difference between a fag and a microwave?
the microwave doesnt fart when you pull the meat out

 

[vixenbabe]

Come on now! I want more dirty jokes peeps!

Karson... Maybe they had a $125K down payment --YOU are reading too much into the joke.

Thanks for the one's listed thus far!

 

[vinylgroover]

Two dwarfs pick up two hookers and take them to their hotel rooms. The first dwarf not only can't get a hard-on, but all night he has to listen to the other dwarf grunting, "One, two, three, uhh ..."

In the morning the second dwarf says to the first dwarf, "So how was it?"

The first dwarf says, "I can't believe how much it sucked. I couldn't get a hard-on all night."

The second dwarf says, "You think that's bad - I couldn't even get up on the bed."

That's pretty bad isn't it

 

[vixenbabe]

Snicker-snicker, VG!

 

[drgoodbody]

Little Johnny and his family live on a farm. One day Johnny comes running into the kitchen and says "mommy, the brown cow is fucking the white cow!", and the mother replies, "Johnny, we don't say that word, we say the brown cow is SURPRISING the white cow." Johnny says o.k. and goes back outside.

Later that afternoon Johnny comes running in again, and his mother looks at him and says, "Let me guess, the brown cow is now surprising the black cow", and little Johnny says, "He sure is, he's FUCKING the white cow AGAIN!"

DrG

 

[vixenbabe]

hehehehe



A chinese couple get married and she is a virgin. On the wedding night , she cowers naked under the bed covers as her hubby undresses.
He climbs into bed next to her and trries to be reassuring: " My darring, I know dis your first time and you flighen--I promise U I give U anything U want, I do anything u want. Whatta u want?"

She replies, " I wanna numma 69."

He has an odd look on his face and replies," U wanna beef and blocolli now? "