Sassy69
New member
I guess one way of looking at it is if there is a 50% divorce rate, that means 50% of marriages work.
But just common stuff to keep in mind -
- are you both committed
- do you communicate well? even if you think you do, its always work
- do you trust each other - trust is the basis for open communication
- do you have time / ways to be yourself (i.e. "us time" and "me time")
- do you have a way to handle disputes or confrontation?
- do you have the same basic beliefs & goals in life?
- are you interested in the Marriage and not the Wedding?
- Do you jointly manage (agree to, are involved in and support) a budget? Money is one of the most common sources of dispute & disagreement.
- are you mature enough to be in a relationship that is truly committed?
- are you really a good match? If a poor match, not really anyone's fault but both parties should've honestly recognized the mismatch before it turns into a variety of blame games, etc.
I have a hard enough time finding a guy who can even deal w/ a relationship that has at a minimum the conditions & considerations of a friendship, so I can't speak to the above actually working - but I've seen where some of those items can fail miserably and have resulted in some of my failed relationsips -- but sometimes its just a poor matching. But I do have parents married for 42 yrs (grandparents married forever is great, but the conditions of society & "marriage" have changed so much since "their time", maybe my parents are a more relevant example of "it working". Both my brothers are married for 2 yrs & 8 yrs respectively.
But just common stuff to keep in mind -
- are you both committed
- do you communicate well? even if you think you do, its always work
- do you trust each other - trust is the basis for open communication
- do you have time / ways to be yourself (i.e. "us time" and "me time")
- do you have a way to handle disputes or confrontation?
- do you have the same basic beliefs & goals in life?
- are you interested in the Marriage and not the Wedding?
- Do you jointly manage (agree to, are involved in and support) a budget? Money is one of the most common sources of dispute & disagreement.
- are you mature enough to be in a relationship that is truly committed?
- are you really a good match? If a poor match, not really anyone's fault but both parties should've honestly recognized the mismatch before it turns into a variety of blame games, etc.
I have a hard enough time finding a guy who can even deal w/ a relationship that has at a minimum the conditions & considerations of a friendship, so I can't speak to the above actually working - but I've seen where some of those items can fail miserably and have resulted in some of my failed relationsips -- but sometimes its just a poor matching. But I do have parents married for 42 yrs (grandparents married forever is great, but the conditions of society & "marriage" have changed so much since "their time", maybe my parents are a more relevant example of "it working". Both my brothers are married for 2 yrs & 8 yrs respectively.