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2 ton hoss
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I SAW THIS ON ANOTHER SITE AND I AGREE WITH IT
So I saw Star Wards Episode II.
If you have a tendency toward irrational anger, please skip to the next post.
This was a horribly bad movie. I mean bad not as in bad bad, but as in Avenging Disco Godfather bad. I can not even begin to describe what I found wrong with this movie.
First, as always, this movie had a confused meaning. Were we supposed to be "into" it in the same manner as a drama, or were we supposed to be laughing at how bad it was? Or some sort of ill-conceived mixture? The reason I ask is, it was clear that Lucas was trying to make us feel, but he did such a poor job of it that I can't help but wonder if his intent was to fail, so that those of us who were disgusted could at least laugh at his pathetic stabs in the dark. More about this later.
Some of the acting was horrible. Whoever the hell played Padme was just incomprehensibly bad. Hello! You aren't playing a sorority girl, you're a god damned galactic senator, even if you are young. Put some effort into it. Whoever played Anakin was fairly bad as well. Emotions, of which he had so many, were very poorly played by him (though some of this was due to script). He just came across as whiny. A very poor performance, overall. One part that struck me as extremely good is when he is torn on whether or not to go back for Padme after she falls on the sand. His line "she would do her duty" was very well executed when taken with his body language.
Ah - the script. I dislike sappy love scenes almost as a rule, but AOTC had more than its fair share of utterly cheesy ones. I don't see how anyone but a middle schooler could have appreciated those love scenes. Banal, trite, cliched, hackneyed, doggerel, stilted...those words only scratch the surface. I realize Lucas was trying to build a romance, but he took the wrong approach - especially since it is obvious he was not in any way aiming for subtlety, I mean, how could he have been, with Anakin's idiotic lines? I am seriously surprised he just didn't say "HE HE HE YOU'RE HOT HE HE HE". The "live a lie" and "destroy us both" lines are such an incredible cliche I can't even write words to adequately express my disgust.
While we're on the topic of love, the scene with his mother was too cliched as well. And what was with her death fit? Her head flopped back like it was on a string. Even if that is how people usually die (doubt it - they can hold their head up perfectly fine and suddenly they just die?) it had no place. The dialogue there and physical juxtapositioning of the characters are cliches as well. This is a real shame, as it had the potential to be a very touching scene.
Oh - lest I forget, how about that stupid discussion between Anakin and Padme over dictatorship vs. democracy? I'd expect that kind of logic,knowledge, and argumentation ability from flouring third graders, not a flouring galactic senator and jedi knight. Pity I can't remember the lines, or I would post them here for the amusement of all. Oh yeah - and what happened to a vote on the Chancellor's emergency powers? The applause-o-meter is good enough for intergalactic decision making? No argument? No debate? If everyone agrees, why did they have to have Jar Jar introduce it as a proxy for Padme?
Grotesque animated aliens just don't do it for me. At this point in cinematographical history, they are neither novel nor interesting. Some of the other aliens - like the tall thin ones - were slightly better. The 3 beasts that attacked the 3 "heroes" were not. And the battles that followed were not. That kind of stuff is old hat now, there was no reason to spend so much time on it. The huge battle that followed was stupid as well. What I saw were about two thousand troops that were all EXACTLY the same...and about 50 Jedi that were all...EXACTLY the same (in fighting style and weaponry). Except for the color of their light sabers, of course. Woo wee! They have different colors! That battle was BORING. Does anyone, at this point, find it neat, cool, or visually entertaining to see people with light sabers deflecting laser beams faster than we can see?
Back to Anakin. Look, we all know what his future is, right? It's no secret. So why didn't Lucas at least make it a LITTLE less obvious as to what his motives were becoming? Let the audience figure it out for themselves, don't TELL them. It's the difference, in a book, between saying "Joe vowed never again to trust Sam" and between showing a series of events that lead him to that belief, without stating it outright. Anakin saying stuff like "I will become powerful!" and "I will learn to save people (after killing an entire camp of sand people?)" and crap like that is just insulting to everyone concerned. SHOW us, don't TELL us. I felt like instead of us seeing and perceiving Anakin's changes, we were being led along and the changes were being pointed out. Great fun, huh. But actually, this would be a BAD idea - because Lucas apparently tried to do this (show not tell) to show us how Padme could have fallen in love with Anakin (they are two very different people after all) - and it didn't work for flour. I still don't buy that Padme fell in love with him, or admitted her love. So - Lucas failed in this respect.
Need I bring up the factory scene? Oh! She's going to get molten ore poured on her! No, wait - she survived!! WHEW, that's a relief!! And the rest of that was all just gratuitous as well, adding very little to the plot and to our perceptions of the characters.
Obi-Wan was okay.
The fights sucked. The asteroid field sucked. Yoda looking like some sort of toad in the process of OD'ing on methyldexamphetamine sulphate sucked (that fight was the absolute worst). Shoulda spent more time on making the battles cool and less on fancy heads up and console displays. Padme's chipper "I'm okay!!" sucked. C3PO getting a different body/head wasn't amusing in the least. As far as I can tell his apologies during the battle could only have appealed to the sense of humor of a child. Samuel L. Jackson's "This party's over" was something I would have expected to see in Men In Black. Anakin's "I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me" fell flat as a pancake - the line was so out of character I almost burst out laughing. Oh, and Padme - was it just me or did she change outfits approximately every SCENE?
What was good? The scenes on Coruscant were good - with the high towers and the traffic. Anakin's mirror-ship was cool.
So, all in all, what can I say: it's Star Wars. Revolutionary in 1977, and, apart from nostalgia reasons for some and vicarious nostalgia for others, absolute flour now.
And what I pointed out in this post that I disliked was just the beginning.
Some reviews I agree with for the most part: http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/359/359431p1.html
So I saw Star Wards Episode II.
If you have a tendency toward irrational anger, please skip to the next post.
This was a horribly bad movie. I mean bad not as in bad bad, but as in Avenging Disco Godfather bad. I can not even begin to describe what I found wrong with this movie.
First, as always, this movie had a confused meaning. Were we supposed to be "into" it in the same manner as a drama, or were we supposed to be laughing at how bad it was? Or some sort of ill-conceived mixture? The reason I ask is, it was clear that Lucas was trying to make us feel, but he did such a poor job of it that I can't help but wonder if his intent was to fail, so that those of us who were disgusted could at least laugh at his pathetic stabs in the dark. More about this later.
Some of the acting was horrible. Whoever the hell played Padme was just incomprehensibly bad. Hello! You aren't playing a sorority girl, you're a god damned galactic senator, even if you are young. Put some effort into it. Whoever played Anakin was fairly bad as well. Emotions, of which he had so many, were very poorly played by him (though some of this was due to script). He just came across as whiny. A very poor performance, overall. One part that struck me as extremely good is when he is torn on whether or not to go back for Padme after she falls on the sand. His line "she would do her duty" was very well executed when taken with his body language.
Ah - the script. I dislike sappy love scenes almost as a rule, but AOTC had more than its fair share of utterly cheesy ones. I don't see how anyone but a middle schooler could have appreciated those love scenes. Banal, trite, cliched, hackneyed, doggerel, stilted...those words only scratch the surface. I realize Lucas was trying to build a romance, but he took the wrong approach - especially since it is obvious he was not in any way aiming for subtlety, I mean, how could he have been, with Anakin's idiotic lines? I am seriously surprised he just didn't say "HE HE HE YOU'RE HOT HE HE HE". The "live a lie" and "destroy us both" lines are such an incredible cliche I can't even write words to adequately express my disgust.
While we're on the topic of love, the scene with his mother was too cliched as well. And what was with her death fit? Her head flopped back like it was on a string. Even if that is how people usually die (doubt it - they can hold their head up perfectly fine and suddenly they just die?) it had no place. The dialogue there and physical juxtapositioning of the characters are cliches as well. This is a real shame, as it had the potential to be a very touching scene.
Oh - lest I forget, how about that stupid discussion between Anakin and Padme over dictatorship vs. democracy? I'd expect that kind of logic,knowledge, and argumentation ability from flouring third graders, not a flouring galactic senator and jedi knight. Pity I can't remember the lines, or I would post them here for the amusement of all. Oh yeah - and what happened to a vote on the Chancellor's emergency powers? The applause-o-meter is good enough for intergalactic decision making? No argument? No debate? If everyone agrees, why did they have to have Jar Jar introduce it as a proxy for Padme?
Grotesque animated aliens just don't do it for me. At this point in cinematographical history, they are neither novel nor interesting. Some of the other aliens - like the tall thin ones - were slightly better. The 3 beasts that attacked the 3 "heroes" were not. And the battles that followed were not. That kind of stuff is old hat now, there was no reason to spend so much time on it. The huge battle that followed was stupid as well. What I saw were about two thousand troops that were all EXACTLY the same...and about 50 Jedi that were all...EXACTLY the same (in fighting style and weaponry). Except for the color of their light sabers, of course. Woo wee! They have different colors! That battle was BORING. Does anyone, at this point, find it neat, cool, or visually entertaining to see people with light sabers deflecting laser beams faster than we can see?
Back to Anakin. Look, we all know what his future is, right? It's no secret. So why didn't Lucas at least make it a LITTLE less obvious as to what his motives were becoming? Let the audience figure it out for themselves, don't TELL them. It's the difference, in a book, between saying "Joe vowed never again to trust Sam" and between showing a series of events that lead him to that belief, without stating it outright. Anakin saying stuff like "I will become powerful!" and "I will learn to save people (after killing an entire camp of sand people?)" and crap like that is just insulting to everyone concerned. SHOW us, don't TELL us. I felt like instead of us seeing and perceiving Anakin's changes, we were being led along and the changes were being pointed out. Great fun, huh. But actually, this would be a BAD idea - because Lucas apparently tried to do this (show not tell) to show us how Padme could have fallen in love with Anakin (they are two very different people after all) - and it didn't work for flour. I still don't buy that Padme fell in love with him, or admitted her love. So - Lucas failed in this respect.
Need I bring up the factory scene? Oh! She's going to get molten ore poured on her! No, wait - she survived!! WHEW, that's a relief!! And the rest of that was all just gratuitous as well, adding very little to the plot and to our perceptions of the characters.
Obi-Wan was okay.
The fights sucked. The asteroid field sucked. Yoda looking like some sort of toad in the process of OD'ing on methyldexamphetamine sulphate sucked (that fight was the absolute worst). Shoulda spent more time on making the battles cool and less on fancy heads up and console displays. Padme's chipper "I'm okay!!" sucked. C3PO getting a different body/head wasn't amusing in the least. As far as I can tell his apologies during the battle could only have appealed to the sense of humor of a child. Samuel L. Jackson's "This party's over" was something I would have expected to see in Men In Black. Anakin's "I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me" fell flat as a pancake - the line was so out of character I almost burst out laughing. Oh, and Padme - was it just me or did she change outfits approximately every SCENE?
What was good? The scenes on Coruscant were good - with the high towers and the traffic. Anakin's mirror-ship was cool.
So, all in all, what can I say: it's Star Wars. Revolutionary in 1977, and, apart from nostalgia reasons for some and vicarious nostalgia for others, absolute flour now.
And what I pointed out in this post that I disliked was just the beginning.
Some reviews I agree with for the most part: http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/359/359431p1.html
