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Anyone done a Master Cleanse?

C

Captain FT

2150 Served and Counting
Platinum
Thinking about it maybe for a day not 10 days of lemon juice, maple syrup , cayenne pepper and water, fuck that I'd lose all my gains.
 
But seriously any of you fuck tards done a master cleanse? I think I'll try it for a day and then do a salt water flush to shit out my insides, post a pic in C&C and call it a day.
 
colon cleanse
 
Captain FT said:
Thinking about it maybe for a day not 10 days of lemon juice, maple syrup , cayenne pepper and water, fuck that I'd lose all my gains.
Click to expand...



You serious Rob?

Cuz this cleanse stuff is useless garbage.


If you want a reset, either fasting for a day (water is okay obviously) or a day or two eating nothing but vegetables, mostly green, and fruit.
 
dabuffguy said:
You serious Rob?

Cuz this cleanse stuff is useless garbage.


If you want a reset, either fasting for a day (water is okay obviously) or a day or two eating nothing but vegetables, mostly green, and fruit.
Click to expand...

Thats a good way to beat a drug test also
 
Captain FT said:
Thinking about it maybe for a day not 10 days of lemon juice, maple syrup , cayenne pepper and water, fuck that I'd lose all my gains.
Click to expand...

I did a 10 day water only. The first 3 days are the worst. Non stop shits. I think I saw a t-bone from 1984. When you are finished it is hard to eat solid foods and you have to ease back into it. A plain potato becomes better than a five star restaurant. When you recover your mood and energy ski rocket! It also got rid of my reflux for a year.

You also break out in acne bad and my breathe was foul! It's all the toxins abandoning ship.
 
Soulthief said:
I did a 10 day water only. The first 3 days are the worst. Non stop shits. I think I saw a t-bone from 1984. When you are finished it is hard to eat solid foods and you have to ease back into it. A plain potato becomes better than a five star restaurant. When you recover your mood and energy ski rocket! It also got rid of my reflux for a year.

You also break out in acne bad and my breathe was foul! It's all the toxins abandoning ship.
Click to expand...

*sky
 
Soul - why water only and why not something like the lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne to at least provide some calories?

I don't want to take 10 days off from the gym and I know I won't have the energy for an hour of cardio and an hour of weights.
 
Soulthief said:
I did a 10 day water only. The first 3 days are the worst. Non stop shits. I think I saw a t-bone from 1984. When you are finished it is hard to eat solid foods and you have to ease back into it. A plain potato becomes better than a five star restaurant. When you recover your mood and energy ski rocket! It also got rid of my reflux for a year.

You also break out in acne bad and my breathe was foul! It's all the toxins abandoning ship.
Click to expand...

I hope this is a freaking joke.


Those symptoms are from starving, not from toxins leaving the body. Holy shit.

Your body turns to shit when it doesn't have the nutrients to operate and sustain itself in a normal manner. It can't synthesize hormones and other amino acids and your skin turns to garbage (hormone imbalances and inconsistent/chaotic skin oil production) and you can't fight off bacteria very well (bad breath being an example, as well as acne).


If you do something and you feel like shit and it messes you up, it's not healthy.

Get some common sense you stunned cunt.
 
Give it a shot captain but definitely do it correctly and completely. I started with a natural laxative the day before. This kick starts everything.

I never felt the need for calories but was prepared to add if I got weak or shaky. The first few days you have to be near a bathroom and need to avoid others eating. After awhile the smell of food was not tempting.
Toward the end you get strange waives of euphoria and spikes in energy. When you are completed the energy is great plus mood and I personal was able to stop medicating my acid reflux for over a year before doing another one. Don't worry, you gain all your lost weight back.

Buff, I'm discussing something from real life experience, not googling the info and baitin' to voyeur ankle shots. You porn bashing virgin. Real talk.
 
Master Cleanse. How Beyoncé
Don't be silly, that cleanse is ridiculous. If you want to cleanse, buy a kick ass juicer and juicer for an entire day, then keep juicing but eat protein. You liver need protein.
Living enzymes from juice clean, not water and fucking pepper
 
Soulthief said:
Give it a shot captain but definitely do it correctly and completely. I started with a natural laxative the day before. This kick starts everything.

I never felt the need for calories but was prepared to add if I got weak or shaky. The first few days you have to be near a bathroom and need to avoid others eating. After awhile the smell of food was not tempting.
Toward the end you get strange waives of euphoria and spikes in energy. When you are completed the energy is great plus mood and I personal was able to stop medicating my acid reflux for over a year before doing another one. Don't worry, you gain all your lost weight back.

Buff, I'm discussing something from real life experience, not googling the info and baitin' to voyeur ankle shots. You porn bashing virgin. Real talk.
Click to expand...

This is just not smart.
 
Soulthief said:
Give it a shot captain but definitely do it correctly and completely. I started with a natural laxative the day before. This kick starts everything.

I never felt the need for calories but was prepared to add if I got weak or shaky. The first few days you have to be near a bathroom and need to avoid others eating. After awhile the smell of food was not tempting.
Toward the end you get strange waives of euphoria and spikes in energy. When you are completed the energy is great plus mood and I personal was able to stop medicating my acid reflux for over a year before doing another one. Don't worry, you gain all your lost weight back.

Buff, I'm discussing something from real life experience, not googling the info and baitin' to voyeur ankle shots. You porn bashing virgin. Real talk.
Click to expand...

Holy fuck lol
 
blueta2 said:
Master Cleanse. How Beyoncé
Don't be silly, that cleanse is ridiculous. If you want to cleanse, buy a kick ass juicer and juicer for an entire day, then keep juicing but eat protein. You liver need protein.
Living enzymes from juice clean, not water and fucking pepper
Click to expand...

There is lemon and maple syrup in that water. I would think living in Canada you would approve of me pushing the only commodity of value belonging to the US's top hat for realz.
 
Soulthief said:
Give it a shot captain but definitely do it correctly and completely. I started with a natural laxative the day before. This kick starts everything.

I never felt the need for calories but was prepared to add if I got weak or shaky. The first few days you have to be near a bathroom and need to avoid others eating. After awhile the smell of food was not tempting.
Toward the end you get strange waives of euphoria and spikes in energy. When you are completed the energy is great plus mood and I personal was able to stop medicating my acid reflux for over a year before doing another one. Don't worry, you gain all your lost weight back.

Buff, I'm discussing something from real life experience, not googling the info and baitin' to voyeur ankle shots. You porn bashing virgin. Real talk.
Click to expand...


Real talk?

What's real talk is how asinine it is that there are human beings that exist that think that they are geniuses when they are retarded enough to starve themselves for 10 days and think they are being healthy and smart.


Bro, I'm not even trying to be a dick, but I'm telling that doing that is absolutely horrible to your body. Completely fucking retarded. Honestly. Stop doing it.



And the other thing is, that your body isn't just riddled with toxins that keep you from being healthy. Your liver and kidneys are designed to do that by themselves, filter out anything that is threatening to your body, and if you just east healthy food in the first place you will be just fine.



Aside from fasting for a day every 4 to 8 weeks, you don't need to do anything. The whole "cleanse" concept is a damn hoax and a lie. Don't be stupid and fooled by the bullshit.

And lol @ saying I googled this. I may be a dried up virgin that doesn't know a twat from a tree, but these robs know that when it comes to this stuff, I am about the last person that needs Google anything. Blee dat. Real talk. Lock it up.
 
Last edited:
I'm doing a juice cleanse for a day, got all my stuff at Whole Foods since I don't have a juicer I chose Suja Juice, about as good as you can get. I'm doing their 1 day cleanse.
 
Started today doing a salt water flush then had an assplosion about 90 minutes later. Unfortunately I felt it coming when I left the house to go to work, I wasn't going to make it so I turned around to go back home for sexy time assplosions.
 
If you were on Robolics your anus muscles would be so powerful that nothing could escape it

or enter it

whichever way you roll rob, Im not here to judge
 
-SD- said:
If you were on Robolics your anus muscles would be so powerful that nothing could escape it

or enter it

whichever way you roll rob, Im not here to judge
Click to expand...

Could have used that xtra sphincter power this morning. My dockers have that fucking inside button that delayed me an extra 2 seconds dropping trow and a little came out in my briefs :(

When a SWF wants to make its exit make sure you are close to a bathroom and not turning around in a car and praying you make it home. There was no stopping it today. Like a tsunami just mowing down everything in its path no matter how strong the structure is, you can't contain its power.
 
No bro this a Baltimore. I just throw my needles in the drainage on the side of the street.

Kidding - no the county doesn't provide us with anything. We have trash pickup Tuesdays and recycling pickup on Fridays. We buy our own trash cans and recycling bins.
 
Surprisingly I'm not hungry, this isn't hard at all. I'll try this with beer over a weekend, drink 16oz of beer 6 times a day or every 2 hours or so with water in between and see how I feel.
 
dabuffguy said:
Real talk?

What's real talk is how asinine it is that there are human beings that exist that think that they are geniuses when they are retarded enough to starve themselves for 10 days and think they are being healthy and smart.


Bro, I'm not even trying to be a dick, but I'm telling that doing that is absolutely horrible to your body. Completely fucking retarded. Honestly. Stop doing it.



And the other thing is, that your body isn't just riddled with toxins that keep you from being healthy. Your liver and kidneys are designed to do that by themselves, filter out anything that is threatening to your body, and if you just east healthy food in the first place you will be just fine.



Aside from fasting for a day every 4 to 8 weeks, you don't need to do anything. The whole "cleanse" concept is a damn hoax and a lie. Don't be stupid and fooled by the bullshit.

And lol @ saying I googled this. I may be a dried up virgin that doesn't know a twat from a tree, but these robs know that when it comes to this stuff, I am about the last person that needs Google anything. Blee dat. Real talk. Lock it up.
Click to expand...

I guess I have a choice. Keep doing a fast every couple of years and benefit from the energy I get, mood boost and complete loss of acid reflux OR listen to Dabuffguy on the internet. Hmmm.

Although your post was full of scientific fact I'm going to have to stick with my real world experience. You'll understand one day I hope. Right now, you've been researching and reading about sex. You won't truly understand it until after you give your new wife that 15 seconds of awkwardness and 30 minutes of sobbing.
 
Lets do real talk a sec...

All you guys know I'm into bodybuilding, juicing, improving my physique, etc. in my head, I still have that mentality, X grams of protein, carbs, and fat per day. Fasting and juicing, that's something for white dudes with dreads...right???

I wanted to try it for a few reasons:
1) could I do it and not want to gnaw my arm off?
2) how did it make me feel?
3)would it impress chicks?

The answers are:
1) yes, it's not bad at all really I enjoyed it
2) it did make me feel good. I don't feel like going out and running a marathon. It's kind of like that empty shredded feel you get when you wake up hung over except without the hangover.
3) they were all impressed and wanted my cawk (Dabuff see how easy that was).

Honestly - Dabuff, common sense and logic would dictate everything you said is correct and makes complete sense, however...

Soul - I side with you on this, until you actually do it for yourself, and challenge yourself, you don't know how you'll feel. It does feel good and it was only a day, makes me think I can do more days in a row which is why I'm going to buy a juicer and give it a go.

Sorry buff, everything I've been taught and know about health and nutrition tells me to side with you logically, but I'm glad I tried it and I like the way I feel. Stop being such a panty waste virgin fuck tard know it all stunned cunt and try it yourself.

Ok that was uncalled for, you're a good bro, but seriously give it a try.
 
Congrats on trying it captain. I will admit the first time I heard about it I thought it was giegh. After knowing people that tried it and hearing all their experiences I finally tried a 5 day. It is 90% mental and 10% physical. You feel very accomplished after it and the energy and mood boost are something everyone should experience.

I'm not a doc or scientist. I don't know why it gave me energy, lifted mood and totally stopped my acid reflux but it did. I also enjoyed challenging myself and reaching a goal. Very much like lifting or any exercise.

Dabuff, I'm not being a dick, but I think if you have the willpower to not have sex, then I know you could do a fast. I'm sure you will say it's stupid or whatever but if you ever try it I think you would thank me. Maybe not personally, but the poster size pic you have of me over your bed. :sleep2:
 
I wonder how much the psychological aspect plays into the feeling good? That boost of knowing you had that much self control?? I've read somewhere recently (and ya I'd have to go look) that the majority of "marketed cleanses" are more fancy propaganda then anything.

And no, I'm not a virgin.
 
Although... On that note... It's been long enough, I probably qualify again!
 
I'll agree with Soul here Buff.

You are a good bro no doubt and the fact that your so old and still a virgin is fucking mind boggling. Ball busting aside if you have the will power for that this would be a drop in the bucket bro. You're a better man than I am, bit I'm married so I can fuck all I want.

To a good bro honestly, set the logic aside and give it a try you might surprise yourself.
 
caligirl85 said:
I wonder how much the psychological aspect plays into the feeling good? That boost of knowing you had that much self control?? I've read somewhere recently (and ya I'd have to go look) that the majority of "marketed cleanses" are more fancy propaganda then anything.

And no, I'm not a virgin.
Click to expand...

I would agree there is a placebo affect. I only had water so not much marketing. Haha You feel very calm and euphoric toward the end. Maybe it's the whole near death thing. Your brains says, well we're never eating again I guess it's over.

I still wonder why it completely got rid of my acid reflux. Maybe because I crapped out red meat from the 80's. Who knows.
 
Soulthief said:
I would agree there is a placebo affect. I only had water so not much marketing. Haha You feel very calm and euphoric toward the end. Maybe it's the whole near death thing. Your brains says, well we're never eating again I guess it's over.

I still wonder why it completely got rid of my acid reflux. Maybe because I crapped out red meat from the 80's. Who knows.
Click to expand...

Did you see a bright light?!? Lol

Ya, I think what I read was more about those kits you buy to cleanse ... Or that water and cayenne pepper cleanse.. Oh wait... No, not that one! ;)
 
See BB

This is the type of shit that happens when I cycle Deca, Undeca, and Iso...completely out of character.
 
Captain FT said:
Lets do real talk a sec...

All you guys know I'm into bodybuilding, juicing, improving my physique, etc. in my head, I still have that mentality, X grams of protein, carbs, and fat per day. Fasting and juicing, that's something for white dudes with dreads...right???

I wanted to try it for a few reasons:
1) could I do it and not want to gnaw my arm off?
2) how did it make me feel?
3)would it impress chicks?

The answers are:
1) yes, it's not bad at all really I enjoyed it
2) it did make me feel good. I don't feel like going out and running a marathon. It's kind of like that empty shredded feel you get when you wake up hung over except without the hangover.
3) they were all impressed and wanted my cawk (Dabuff see how easy that was).

Honestly - Dabuff, common sense and logic would dictate everything you said is correct and makes complete sense, however...

Soul - I side with you on this, until you actually do it for yourself, and challenge yourself, you don't know how you'll feel. It does feel good and it was only a day, makes me think I can do more days in a row which is why I'm going to buy a juicer and give it a go.

Sorry buff, everything I've been taught and know about health and nutrition tells me to side with you logically, but I'm glad I tried it and I like the way I feel. Stop being such a panty waste virgin fuck tard know it all stunned cunt and try it yourself.

Ok that was uncalled for, you're a good bro, but seriously give it a try.
Click to expand...



Bro, you did it for one day. I already said that fasting for 24 hours is good.


SoulTheif was saying how he did it for 10 days and that it's good, which it's not.


HUGE DIFFERENCE!!


Read everything next time. I love you rob, btw. Totally in a gay way.
 
Hi, I've done natural detoxifying treatment with pills, called Naturalmax Enerix and Vitalix. It's very good stuff, did total cleansing. I'm full of energy and ready for workout:)
 
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