Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below I need a little help from the elite ladies. A few yrs ago I had my heart broke by my g/f of 3 yrs. A couple weeks after that I started working at a club as a bouncer. The first weekend working, chics were coming up to me like crazy, and I started hooking up all the time. This lifestyle continued for about 2yrs. My problem now is I've slept with 40+ ladies, and I'm scared if I meet the right woman, she'll freak when she finds out how many partners I've had. My lifestyle has changed, and I don't even go out that much anymore. I always used a condom, and I was tested recently for everything under the sun for my life insurance physical, and everything was good. When I meet the right woman, should I tell her how many partners I've had, or should I be dishonest?
Advice from the ladies
- Thread starter sniper007
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drgoodbody
New member
well...
Puddles and I have been discussing just this topic recently (among others) and I have to say that I personally think its best to not tell the whole truth. Some things I think just cause too much pain, and there is nothing she will be able to do about it (i.e. nothing she can do about your past). My advice is to take this shit to your grave - don't ask, and don't tell. Better to just let her think that she is one of a few women and is special because of that - after all, you might not like it if the chick you're falling for told you that:
* "Hmmm, I had sex with 1-2 different guys a week,
* and I did that basically every week for the past 3 years, so...
* I guess that I've had sex with 100-150 different men?"
Not sure about you, but I'd have serious trouble being with anyone who has to do math like this to figure out how many people they've slept with.
keep it to yourself bro, JMHO,
DrG
Puddles and I have been discussing just this topic recently (among others) and I have to say that I personally think its best to not tell the whole truth. Some things I think just cause too much pain, and there is nothing she will be able to do about it (i.e. nothing she can do about your past). My advice is to take this shit to your grave - don't ask, and don't tell. Better to just let her think that she is one of a few women and is special because of that - after all, you might not like it if the chick you're falling for told you that:
* "Hmmm, I had sex with 1-2 different guys a week,
* and I did that basically every week for the past 3 years, so...
* I guess that I've had sex with 100-150 different men?"
Not sure about you, but I'd have serious trouble being with anyone who has to do math like this to figure out how many people they've slept with.
keep it to yourself bro, JMHO,
DrG
Last edited:
Friscochick
New member
This might sound weird coming from a girl, but i wouldn't tell her the whole truth either. LOL That is to muchinfo. and although they might say they understand, i dont think that it is the truth...
They will always drell on that for sure!
I think that you should tell the half truth maybe sugar coat it a little. For her's and your sake in the end. I know that sounds bad, but thru my experience it's the best way, hand's down.
They will always drell on that for sure!
I think that you should tell the half truth maybe sugar coat it a little. For her's and your sake in the end. I know that sounds bad, but thru my experience it's the best way, hand's down.
notoriousQQ
New member
The past is the past, let it be. Unless she specifically asks the question of how many people have you slept with there is no need to volunteer the information. I think that it is generally understood that you people are sexually active. Honestly, do you want to know all of the exact details of your lady friend's past? If so, then, you both should discuss it. Personally, that stuff doesn't matter to me. I think that all of life's experiences both good and bad and our choices we've made create the person we see when we look in the mirror every day. I very much look at life as a growing process, or a journey. There have been times whenever I have been more willing to do certain things or share myself in ways with people in the past that I would not do today. There was nothing wrong with me doing what I did at the time, I'm just not in the same place emotionally right now and would not be as willing to sleep around and share myself with someone else.
That is how I would handle the topic if it is brought up. Think about it from both perspectives and handle the topic accordingly.
There is no need to be dishonest BTW.
That is how I would handle the topic if it is brought up. Think about it from both perspectives and handle the topic accordingly.
There is no need to be dishonest BTW.
Bikini Mod
New member
It's a tossup.
Many people ask questions that they do not REALLY want to know the answer to. This behavior begins in childhood. I still remember my children asking me things like if the Easter Bunny was real. I always looked at them with a serious expression and asked, "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?" If they were really ready for the truth they pushed the issue. However, if they were not, the just changed the subject and it was all good.
I have never lied to my children and I think it is becuase of this that they volunteer all kinds of stuff to me even though THEY KNOW that I won't be thrilled with what I am hearing. Because there is trust.
I asked my last lover how many women he had been with (I am not jealous at all.) and his answer was that he honestly could not BEGIN to count. He didn't know. He is nearly 42 years old, has status, money and is extremely attractive and there was a very large period in his life where he slept with whomever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But I do trust that that was then and this was now... We have not seen each other in a very long time as distance and circumstances have kept us seperate. Will I ask him if he has been with any other women? NO. Why? Because it doesn't matter to me in the grand scheme of things, but I would be lying if I said that it wouldn't hurt me deeply if I KNEW for a fact.
He once said that though he knew he would not be my first, he would very much like to be my last. A romantic notion indeed. However, there is no spoken commitment on either of our parts so "Don't ask, Don't tell" is the best policy here for us.
So just consider the lady in question and what her motivations are in asking. BUT DO NOT LIE. You don't have to give an exact number, but, you shouldn't lie and say that you didn't "live the life" for a while. If she is so insecure as to be incapable of handling the fact that there were women before her then perhaps she is not someone that will be strong enough to handle the difficulties that life will inevitably hand you as A COUPLE.
Many people ask questions that they do not REALLY want to know the answer to. This behavior begins in childhood. I still remember my children asking me things like if the Easter Bunny was real. I always looked at them with a serious expression and asked, "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?" If they were really ready for the truth they pushed the issue. However, if they were not, the just changed the subject and it was all good.
I have never lied to my children and I think it is becuase of this that they volunteer all kinds of stuff to me even though THEY KNOW that I won't be thrilled with what I am hearing. Because there is trust.
I asked my last lover how many women he had been with (I am not jealous at all.) and his answer was that he honestly could not BEGIN to count. He didn't know. He is nearly 42 years old, has status, money and is extremely attractive and there was a very large period in his life where he slept with whomever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But I do trust that that was then and this was now... We have not seen each other in a very long time as distance and circumstances have kept us seperate. Will I ask him if he has been with any other women? NO. Why? Because it doesn't matter to me in the grand scheme of things, but I would be lying if I said that it wouldn't hurt me deeply if I KNEW for a fact.
He once said that though he knew he would not be my first, he would very much like to be my last. A romantic notion indeed. However, there is no spoken commitment on either of our parts so "Don't ask, Don't tell" is the best policy here for us.
So just consider the lady in question and what her motivations are in asking. BUT DO NOT LIE. You don't have to give an exact number, but, you shouldn't lie and say that you didn't "live the life" for a while. If she is so insecure as to be incapable of handling the fact that there were women before her then perhaps she is not someone that will be strong enough to handle the difficulties that life will inevitably hand you as A COUPLE.
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