Translation: AAP is still in denial that most gay men actually look like average guys.
Translation: I only watch CNN.
Translation: Gays in general, AAP in particular, are hateful bitches, just like Christian Conservatives, but with better fashion sense.
Translation: I'm going to play straight for the evening. My cover will be blown, however, when I accidentally describe Brad Pitt as, "Yummmy."
Translation: EF is my therapist. I wonder why I have so many problems.
Translation: I'm hot and just want to emphasize that and pretend that it's some kind of curse because modesty has never been my strong suit.
Translation: I have no tattoos.
Translation: When I do my Liza Minelli floor show, I ALWAYS brush and floss beforehand.
Translation: I'm wondering if I could trade sexual favors for an extra package of peanuts.