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fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
I would be lucky if I made it to 70, nevermind being married to somebody for 70 years. Nonetheless, good read.
Haig and Elsie Gamarekian sway gently in a swinging loveseat in front of their Clifton home, rummaging through time-misted reminiscences of two long lives.
After a time, as a visitor rises to go, Haig Gamarekian springs to his feet
"But wait," he says. "I promised I'd sing you a song before you leave."
With that, he bursts into a homespun, off-key ditty about days of old and men long gone -- of suffrage and Carnegie and Rockefeller and Henry Ford.
His wife can only sigh, glance at the visitor and shoot her husband a loving wince.
After seven decades, she knows his antics all too well.
The Gamarekians, he 94 and she 93, will quietly celebrate 70 years of wedded bliss today -- a remarkable milestone they attribute to an abiding faith in family values.
"Having a close-knit family," Elsie Gamarekian said. "And him being the boss."
Ben Beitin, a Seton Hall professor of psychology and family therapy, said such longevity in marriage is highly uncommon, the human life span being what it is. But he said the secret of any long-lasting marriage is universal: it must be based on a "foundation of romance, love, communication and accepting each other's differences."
In the case of the Gamarekians, he said, their Armenian heritage also may have played a role.
"I'm sure they took messages from their culture of what it means to stay in a marriage," the professor said.
The Gamarekians met in the mid-1930s at an Armenian party in Newark, hometown of then Elsie Holopikian.
He stopped by her house the next day to ask for a date, but not before enduring a grilling by her brother, Charles.
"He had to see him and talk to him and know who he was before I was allowed to go out with him," Elsie Gamarekian said. "I was brought up very strict, no dating, no nothing."
It wasn't a long courtship -- maybe a year or so, in their faded recollections -- before they married at the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Paterson, Haig Gamarekian's hometown. It was the height of the Depression, and they couldn't afford a wedding reception. Instead, they celebrated quietly with family and friends.
"We didn't have much money, so we just took the bridal group out and had dinner in a restaurant," Elsie Gamarekian said.
The Gamarekians have two children -- Miriam and Charles -- five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
"We have a good, close family," Haig Gamarekian said. "I believe in that."
"They are definitely the foundation of our family," said granddaughter Lisa McAteer of Milford, Pa.
"They are two of the most loving, giving people," she said. "We've learned so much from them. They've inspired us, and we look to benefit from the same love in our own lives." She recalled how her grandparents would drive up to her family's home in Sparta every Tuesday night when she was growing up.
"Tuesday night was spaghetti night and grandma would cook her famous spaghetti," McAteer said. On weekends, her grandparents would come to the house to baby-sit the kids so her parents could have a "date night," she said.
Daughter Miriam Gamarekian attributes her parents' long marriage to "their compatibility and their respect for each other."
"They're so into each other, even at this age," she said. "They're matriarchs of the family, or whatever the word is. We look up to them."
She said her parents remain spirited despite their advanced age.
"They're minds are always going," she said, adding her mother enjoys crossword puzzles and helps out on her computer with her daughter's party-planning business.
Haig Gamarekian was born in Paterson and his parents died a year apart before he was 13 years old. He went to live with an uncle in Paterson and worked in his grocery store. Gamarekian went to work in the printing and engraving business and eventually owned shops in Passaic and then Clifton before retiring when he was 65.
Now, he said, he looks back fondly on some of the things age no longer allows him to do.
"You get to my age, you live on batteries. I've got a pacemaker. When you get older, you miss the things you used to do around the house," he said, staring at the front lawn of the house where they have lived for 45 years. "Cutting the grass. I used to have a garden in the back. You miss those things."
His wife, who was born in New York City and grew up in Newark, worked more than 30 years for a real estate and insurance firm in Paterson. She earned her real estate license when she was in her late 40s, but never sold any property.
"I'm not a salesperson," she admitted sheepishly, her mane of neatly coifed, silver-gray hair belying her age.
The Gamarekians live simple lives. Haig Gamarekian usually drives each morning to his son's paving stone business in Lyndhurst, where he opens mail and runs small errands.
They also care for a 12-year-old Yorkie named "Pebbles" given to them by a granddaughter.
"She does us good," Elsie Gamarekian said. "We sit outside with her. He walks her."
And with a disbelieving smile, she said, "Old age stinks.
"But we've had good times -- memories," she added, the smiling returning. "Oh yes, we have nice memories."
http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/index.ssf?/base/news-11/1178085520123490.xml&coll=1&thispage=3
Haig and Elsie Gamarekian sway gently in a swinging loveseat in front of their Clifton home, rummaging through time-misted reminiscences of two long lives.
After a time, as a visitor rises to go, Haig Gamarekian springs to his feet
"But wait," he says. "I promised I'd sing you a song before you leave."
With that, he bursts into a homespun, off-key ditty about days of old and men long gone -- of suffrage and Carnegie and Rockefeller and Henry Ford.
His wife can only sigh, glance at the visitor and shoot her husband a loving wince.
After seven decades, she knows his antics all too well.
The Gamarekians, he 94 and she 93, will quietly celebrate 70 years of wedded bliss today -- a remarkable milestone they attribute to an abiding faith in family values.
"Having a close-knit family," Elsie Gamarekian said. "And him being the boss."
Ben Beitin, a Seton Hall professor of psychology and family therapy, said such longevity in marriage is highly uncommon, the human life span being what it is. But he said the secret of any long-lasting marriage is universal: it must be based on a "foundation of romance, love, communication and accepting each other's differences."
In the case of the Gamarekians, he said, their Armenian heritage also may have played a role.
"I'm sure they took messages from their culture of what it means to stay in a marriage," the professor said.
The Gamarekians met in the mid-1930s at an Armenian party in Newark, hometown of then Elsie Holopikian.
He stopped by her house the next day to ask for a date, but not before enduring a grilling by her brother, Charles.
"He had to see him and talk to him and know who he was before I was allowed to go out with him," Elsie Gamarekian said. "I was brought up very strict, no dating, no nothing."
It wasn't a long courtship -- maybe a year or so, in their faded recollections -- before they married at the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Paterson, Haig Gamarekian's hometown. It was the height of the Depression, and they couldn't afford a wedding reception. Instead, they celebrated quietly with family and friends.
"We didn't have much money, so we just took the bridal group out and had dinner in a restaurant," Elsie Gamarekian said.
The Gamarekians have two children -- Miriam and Charles -- five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
"We have a good, close family," Haig Gamarekian said. "I believe in that."
"They are definitely the foundation of our family," said granddaughter Lisa McAteer of Milford, Pa.
"They are two of the most loving, giving people," she said. "We've learned so much from them. They've inspired us, and we look to benefit from the same love in our own lives." She recalled how her grandparents would drive up to her family's home in Sparta every Tuesday night when she was growing up.
"Tuesday night was spaghetti night and grandma would cook her famous spaghetti," McAteer said. On weekends, her grandparents would come to the house to baby-sit the kids so her parents could have a "date night," she said.
Daughter Miriam Gamarekian attributes her parents' long marriage to "their compatibility and their respect for each other."
"They're so into each other, even at this age," she said. "They're matriarchs of the family, or whatever the word is. We look up to them."
She said her parents remain spirited despite their advanced age.
"They're minds are always going," she said, adding her mother enjoys crossword puzzles and helps out on her computer with her daughter's party-planning business.
Haig Gamarekian was born in Paterson and his parents died a year apart before he was 13 years old. He went to live with an uncle in Paterson and worked in his grocery store. Gamarekian went to work in the printing and engraving business and eventually owned shops in Passaic and then Clifton before retiring when he was 65.
Now, he said, he looks back fondly on some of the things age no longer allows him to do.
"You get to my age, you live on batteries. I've got a pacemaker. When you get older, you miss the things you used to do around the house," he said, staring at the front lawn of the house where they have lived for 45 years. "Cutting the grass. I used to have a garden in the back. You miss those things."
His wife, who was born in New York City and grew up in Newark, worked more than 30 years for a real estate and insurance firm in Paterson. She earned her real estate license when she was in her late 40s, but never sold any property.
"I'm not a salesperson," she admitted sheepishly, her mane of neatly coifed, silver-gray hair belying her age.
The Gamarekians live simple lives. Haig Gamarekian usually drives each morning to his son's paving stone business in Lyndhurst, where he opens mail and runs small errands.
They also care for a 12-year-old Yorkie named "Pebbles" given to them by a granddaughter.
"She does us good," Elsie Gamarekian said. "We sit outside with her. He walks her."
And with a disbelieving smile, she said, "Old age stinks.
"But we've had good times -- memories," she added, the smiling returning. "Oh yes, we have nice memories."
http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/index.ssf?/base/news-11/1178085520123490.xml&coll=1&thispage=3
