So you want some magicbol then? I'm kidding.... But one thing you need to realize is that taking steroids is a risk, just like a lot of things... If you want to stay and educate yourself on what steroids do what and what the effects on the body are and what various drugs are used for.... You probably wont find a steroid that fits the description you just gave... That being said, I've never had problems with losing hair or anything like that, and gains loss has been minimal (mostly water) post cycle...
YUM