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WTF? Am I just not meant to get laid?

  • Thread starter Thread starter alien amp pharm
  • Start date Start date
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alien amp pharm

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I mean for real.

I went out with this chick last night in my avatar
<------------------

Things went well, I made my patented moves and we ended up being all over each other the entire date.

I take her back around 12:30 and walk to her door. She asks me if I want to come inside. I'm like sure! (Alien is going to score!) I even had my condom already on from during the date anticipation a fuck-fest. :)

Then my friend that lives 5 apartments down from her I hadn't seen in a year comes running over and will not leave. He wants to hang out since it's been a while since we've seen each other.

We all went out and I didn't get back until 5:30 am. By that time I was too tired to even care.

Now I sit stoned with blueballs. Will the madness ever end !?!?!?
 
That's when you discretely say "hey fuckface, didn't you notice the pungent pre-sex aroma in the room? Get the fuck out!".
 
Why didnt you give him the "nod"??

Unless he's boderline retaurded he should reconize the universal "Hey, take off cause I'm trying to score here" nod.
 
I grew up with this guy and he's moving. I felt bad not hanging out with him, but yes he didn't seem to sense me getting any. He was a little intoxicated too.

I called this girl and invited her out tonight, but she said she was staying in.

Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!
 
Dial_tone said:
That's when you discretely say "hey fuckface, didn't you notice the pungent pre-sex aroma in the room? Get the fuck out!".
Click to expand...


^^^What my nugga, DT said.

BUT for that to work you need to RAISE UP and grab your nuts, aap....and you've consistently shown that you have a problem doing this.

:confused:



DIV

:chomp:
 
jackangel said:
change your sig to read

"Pwned by childhood friend"
Click to expand...

lol

It needs to say:

"pwned by 20 yr old virgin"
"pwned by tv show"
"pwned by childhood friend"
 
alien amp pharm said:
I never win.
Click to expand...

I wish I could be your mentor for a week or so.....

I'd have told the childhood friend that he'd hang with ya' on the DL, hint-hint...wink-wink.......and then make him leave.

I'd make sure you'd get in with that girl, aap......

But.....I can't bridge the gap from your khakis to her panties....meaning that you'd have to handle your biz in the bedroom.....can you do that?


DIV

:chomp:
 
DIVISION said:
But.....I can't bridge the gap from your khakis to her panties....meaning that you'd have to handle your biz in the bedroom.....can you do that?
Click to expand...

I was loaded up on 2 days of Liquid Cialis thanks to Anchillery Guys.

I was stocking more wood than Home Depot. I was ready.
 
alien amp pharm said:
I was loaded up on 2 days of Liquid Cialis thanks to Anchillery Guys.

I was stocking more wood than Home Depot. I was ready.
Click to expand...

If you had good wood, then why didn't ya' take the initiative and tell your childhood Homie that you'd get at him on the DL and that you had some biz at hand?

Powers of persuasion, holmes.....

See what you want, Take what you want......


DIV

:chomp:
 
Is he a retard? You were dressed up nice for a date (I take it) and walking with a girl to her apartment.

Is he retarded?
 
aap, every male on the planet understands how important it is getting with a new girl. you could have screamed "get the fuck out" while hitting him with a golf club and he still wouldnt be upset at you the next day

youre a dummy, and you cockblocked yourself. sympathy = 0
 
yea its pretty unbelievable, for one thing , the chick u went out with is maggie from that awesome sports update site, sportsbybrooks.com
 
alien amp pharm said:
I take her back around 12:30 and walk to her door. She asks me if I want to come inside. I'm like sure! (Alien is going to score!) I even had my condom already on from during the date anticipation a fuck-fest. :)
Click to expand...




Allowing a blatant cockblock aside, did you say you had your condom on all night long in anticipation of getting sex later on? Does this mean you were wearing it on your penis while you were on the date with her??? Isn't that kind of stupid?
 
alien amp pharm said:
I grew up with this guy and he's moving. I felt bad not hanging out with him, but yes he didn't seem to sense me getting any. He was a little intoxicated too.

I called this girl and invited her out tonight, but she said she was staying in.

Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!
Click to expand...


I would like to add that, contrary to pop. opinoin, your friend was not cockblocking, nor was he being a dick for hanging out. You said you knew him a while, so he knew you as well...that is, he knew your game was kinda weak and he wasn't used to you hanging around with a "girl." Your friend didn't know you were gonna score, and why should he, you haven't in the past...
 
alien amp pharm said:
I mean for real.

I went out with this chick last night in my avatar
<------------------

Things went well, I made my patented moves and we ended up being all over each other the entire date.

I take her back around 12:30 and walk to her door. She asks me if I want to come inside. I'm like sure! (Alien is going to score!) I even had my condom already on from during the date anticipation a fuck-fest. :)

Then my friend that lives 5 apartments down from her I hadn't seen in a year comes running over and will not leave. He wants to hang out since it's been a while since we've seen each other.

We all went out and I didn't get back until 5:30 am. By that time I was too tired to even care.

Now I sit stoned with blueballs. Will the madness ever end !?!?!?
Click to expand...

:whatever: .... Don't know what to say. While reading this all I could do is shake my head and repeat... poor poor aap :(
 
friskygrl2004 said:
:whatever: .... Don't know what to say. While reading this all I could do is shake my head and repeat... poor poor aap :(
Click to expand...


Exactly!

I can't believe that you already had the condom on!!!

Why didn't you just say something to your friend?? If you really wanted it so badly you could have said to him "**** (whatever his name is), can I ask you something in the kitchen?" Then tell him to LEAVE.

I wouldn't worry too much....it seems like she likes you, you will probably get another chance with this girl.

Just be patient. The best things come to those who wait. (very appropriate for Halloween Day, no?)
 
Smurfy said:
sorry 'bout your bad luck, aap.

can u post up a pic of yourself. i wanna see the man who keeps getting pwned. thanks
Click to expand...

Smurfy.... He looks like Patrick Swazye paired with the cutest smile .... a real hottie, Don't know what gives.
 
Kroliczek said:
Exactly!

I can't believe that you already had the condom on!!!

?)
Click to expand...



You`d be surprised at how many of us guys do that. It`s no big deal, if it gets messed up (and sometimes it does) we just put a different one on at time of engagement.

It certainly reduces the time it takes for sex, you don`t wanna be wasting time when you`re ready. Plus it feels good while you`re walking around with it on. Especially if it`s a lubricated one.

Some girls are surprised to see it when I pull my pants down, but they soon relax and just enjoy the rubber love train.
 
gonelifting said:
Some girls are surprised to see it when I pull my pants down, but they soon relax and just enjoy the rubber love train.
Click to expand...

:lmao: there went my coffee!
 
gonelifting said:
You`d be surprised at how many of us guys do that. It`s no big deal, if it gets messed up (and sometimes it does) we just put a different one on at time of engagement.

It certainly reduces the time it takes for sex, you don`t wanna be wasting time when you`re ready. Plus it feels good while you`re walking around with it on. Especially if it`s a lubricated one.

Some girls are surprised to see it when I pull my pants down, but they soon relax and just enjoy the rubber love train.
Click to expand...


Lol. Thanks for the insight! I really did not know that!
It feels good when you are walking around ?? LOL. I guess it is like me walking around with no undies on and jeans on...that feels good.
 
I`m sure all the guys will post up on how they wear their condoms during a date. I`m sure it`s not just me and aap.


LOL I once Pee`d while wearing a condom and it filled up like a balloon. That sucked, but I`m thinking after we were done with sex that the urine helped even further the anti-baby making process. Sorta like Coke.
 
Ask her out again. Bring take out rent a movie and fuck all nite long
 
I often wear a few condoms on top of each other, then when it is time to do 'the dirty' I take all off apart from one, it increases sensation.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
youre a dummy, and you cockblocked yourself. sympathy = 0
Click to expand...

I think you are right. Hopefully I can get some redemption.

Yarg! said:
yea its pretty unbelievable, for one thing , the chick u went out with is maggie from that awesome sports update site, sportsbybrooks.com
Click to expand...

Nah this chick is legit. I bought a digital camera last weekend. She's a very cute girl.

Forge said:
Allowing a blatant cockblock aside, did you say you had your condom on all night long in anticipation of getting sex later on? Does this mean you were wearing it on your penis while you were on the date with her??? Isn't that kind of stupid?
Click to expand...

I was joking. Who the hell actually wears condoms?:confused:
j/k....I stole that bit from SSME's material.

friskygrl2004 said:
Smurfy.... He looks like Patrick Swazye paired with the cutest smile .... a real hottie, Don't know what gives.
Click to expand...

:bigkiss: :heart:

Smurfy, that was me in my avatar a week or so ago (black shirt). I was forced to remove it because some of the EF guys were crashing the servers due to overwhelming love PM's sent to me. (mainly Tuc & Gambino)
 
It's because the chicks can smell the desperation...start acting like an ass, like you couldn't care less about them and they will flock to you.
 
TC2 said:
It's because the chicks can smell the desperation...start acting like an ass, like you couldn't care less about them and they will flock to you.
Click to expand...

aint that the truth!

I also agree with goldendelicious...sympathy = 0
if this shit is true, then you actually did cock block yourself.

I can't understand why it is so hard for you to get laid...getting laid is the easy part. If you actually move on to the "relationship" part, that's when it gets tough.
 
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