IT's borderline no matter what anyone say's......and yes, I'll fully admit that I've had past gf's mess around with that area.....as well as cute little asian massage parlor girls. But as soon as a finger goes in....the weenie goes limp. So if you can remain hard with something rummaging around in your ass.....it may not be gay in and of itself......but at some point you've thought of having the real thing. That's why I stop it before it goes too far.....and I used to mess around with a local domme that BEGGED to do that to me.....I just couldn't. But I certainly can't fault a couple for trying new things to keep their marriage or long term relationship spicy......"I" just personally wouldn't write about it or admit to it.....because it DOES sound gay.