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Worst sex EVER!

i once had a girl refer to herself in the first person.....oh do it to ...... oh ..... loves it....... she kept saying her own name...it creeped me out....then on our second date she pulled out a lipstick vibrator and stripped for me...super freaky...but i loved it..
 
Weirdest - He was on g ( my boyfriend of 2 years) and started talking aloud about some twsited fucked up fantasy he realyl should've kept too himself:)
 
jrc04444 said:
i once had a girl refer to herself in the first person.....oh do it to ...... oh ..... loves it....... she kept saying her own name...it creeped me out....then on our second date she pulled out a lipstick vibrator and stripped for me...super freaky...but i loved it..
Click to expand...


that is creepy.
 
The dude I brought home was high (I didn't know how high until I brought him home). I had every intention of bending him over, but he was not up for it, so I had to masterbate.

I should have waited until he passed out on the couch, and then slipped it to him good.

I dropped him off at his house the next morning, and threw his number away.
 
I'd had a little too much to drink and was getting very talkative in the middle of sex and started talking about having a 3 way with my now brother in law. It didn't go over so well. lol
 
Raina said:
I'd had a little too much to drink and was getting very talkative in the middle of sex and started talking about having a 3 way with my now brother in law. It didn't go over so well. lol
Click to expand...

uh ..yea i could see how that would be a turn off....
 
Karla
 
Raina said:
I'd had a little too much to drink and was getting very talkative in the middle of sex and started talking about having a 3 way with my now brother in law. It didn't go over so well. lol
Click to expand...

Not good... LOL
 
But I've also had a few encounters where I just layed there thinking "when will this nonsense be done with". I'ver seriously had more exciting nail clippings than some of the partners I've had. lol
 
I was with this one chick when I was young, I swear it was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.(and I'm fairly big)

She definetly had the "Hokey-Pokey" pussy.
 
This one was my fault. Working too much. I fell asleep while DATY. Had to go without for about 3 weeks after. Build her up again.
 
one chick when i was in high school was giving me head and apparently i pushed too hard and she puked all over me.. this started a chain reaction let me tell u! :worried:
 
TC2 said:
I was with this one chick when I was young, I swear it was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.(and I'm fairly big)

She definetly had the "Hokey-Pokey" pussy.
Click to expand...

I had a similar experience. We were working it doggy style. We had to move her legs inside of mine to tighten things up. I started thinking about it and it really ruined the moment.
On the plus side. The girl told all the girls she worked with about the sex we had. They all started calling me. I was having sex all the time and I was not putting any effort into getting it.
*BTW... I was not a dick for nailing her coworkers. They are all strippers and she said I could as long as I wore a condom... Okay, maybe I was a dick.
 
I remember once back in highschool I was kissing down a girls back in my truck to get to her mound and about 4 inches from butt crack I smelled the worst case of rotten fish snatch I ever smelled in my life. Being the gentleman that I am instead of saying you have the most rotten smelling hootchie I ever smelled I just kissed back up her back, broke up with her and took her home.
 
Can't we talk about GREAT sex here? :p

I've blocked the bad sex out of my mind.. thats how freaking bad it was.. I don't want to journey down that path.. I've just recently gotten over the nightmares.
 
curling said:
I remember once back in highschool I was kissing down a girls back in my truck to get to her mound and about 4 inches from butt crack I smelled the worst case of rotten fish snatch I ever smelled in my life. Being the gentleman that I am instead of saying you have the most rotten smelling hootchie I ever smelled I just kissed back up her back, broke up with her and took her home.
Click to expand...

LOL, that reminds me. One guy I was with did not clean up very well, and wanted me to do somethings with him that I would not do. I sent him packing with this puzzled look on his face.
 
He takes of his clothes, doesn't even bother to kiss or undress me, lies down on the bed and expects me to do all the work (and of course, I do take care of him :rolleyes: ).
 
Eh, honestly I've never had really bad sex. I've had sub-par sex, but I still enjoyed it. Never had a "dead fish" so to speak. One of my ex's was real shy and came close, but I had ways of revving her up. :D
 
ChefWide said:
Karla
Click to expand...

Melanie

She was the most physically attractive woman I've ever boinked, the "leggy supermodel" type; she does some modelling for snazzy department store catalogues. She definitely had that "high priced spread" air about her. She just laid there like a dead fish, no passion, no feedback at all. I might as well have been a dildo.
 
I think the WEIRDEST sex I ever had was with the guy that only got off from washing my hair.

The WORST sex I had must have been the guy who started crying in it. Not the Oh-God-It-Feels-So-Great kind of crying. But the kind of crying like someone told him his momma died. On one hand, it felt really good with his stomach and diaphram spasming and tightening. On the other hand, I knew I should stop and just cuddle. (I didn't).

The GROSSIEST sex I ever had was I went yachting with friends in the Greek Islands and pick up a land trick and brought him back. Oh god he was gorgeous. Black hair, olive skin, perfect symmentry. I pounded him silly. When I had my orgasm, I pulled out and he reached down and pulled my condom off and then turned it upside down to drain over his mouth. I could have beat his ass. he was a great kisser too, but I wouldn't kissing him again.
 
i had this one chick that about after 5 or 10 minutes of hittin it i started to smell this horrible odor , so i was like wtf, so i dipped my finger in to see if it was what i thought it was , it was . instant hardon killer so i stopped and was like "bitch you need to go take a shower now" so she does and comes back i start hittin it again same fuckin thing, smelled like 50 dead elephants . i lost it after that told her she needs to go see a doctor and to get the hell out of my house ... nasty bitch
 
AAP said:
I When I had my orgasm, I pulled out and he reached down and pulled my condom off and then turned it upside down to drain over his mouth. I could have beat his ass. he was a great kisser too, but I wouldn't kissing him again.
Click to expand...

i just threw up a little and swallowed it.
 
worst sex = she fell off the bed and hurt her elbow and I was ther polishing my nob by myself :(

wierdest - a gf (crazy hoe) i shot my load and landed on her stomach and she wanted me to snort the cum of her belly (ive snowballed so she got this birllant idea for me to snort it up


fuck that shit
 
i once took this hot petite brunette home from the bar. when we got back to her friends place and got naked i saw the most disgusting ass ever. her asscrack had more hair (thick,black hair) growing out of it than on my entire body. when i seen that i just played it off like i was to drunk to do anything. then the next morning she was wanting to go on a date later and take care of unfinished business. i just didn't answer my phone for the next few days when she called. maybe i should have took her to a salon for a complete waxing.
 
redcrimeboy said:
i just threw up a little and swallowed it.
Click to expand...

The thing was, it didn't just all run out right away and he was laying there, condom suspended a foot above his mouth waiting for it all to run down. I half expected him to stick his tongue in there and slurp it out.

God, I had planned to keep him there the rest of night and spend it on top deck, star watching, kissing and more sex. But his ass had to go.
 
AAP said:
The thing was, it didn't just all run out right away and he was laying there, condom suspended a foot above his mouth waiting for it all to run down. I half expected him to stick his tongue in there and slurp it out.
.
Click to expand...

ok, yeah, now i really did vomit.
thanks man.
 
mine was, when i got her home i was pritty drunk, and i put my hand down to heat the oven... she was like "na not 2 fingers... 3" then 4 and she was asking for more,, , and thought fuck this im not going up there after that.. i just walked out her house lol.. so it wasnt really sex but it was to do sex
 
the worst sex for me was the sex that was meant to happen, but didnt happen, but then years later could have happened, except that she had spoiled and turned into a prissy, whiny cow with crappy skin and so didnt happen again, leaving me feeling a tad nasty, even though i didnt do anything

...or maybe it was the one where she was naked and i changed my mind, said i had to get something from the car, jumped the fence, and left skidmarks all the way down the street, laughing like a hyena and doing my cross with my free hand, thanking God for my escape

aaaaaaaahahahahaha i just got a thrill of glee thinking about how fast i drove down that little street :D vroooooooooooooooooooom!!!! ;)
 
tinytank said:
mine was, when i got her home i was pritty drunk, and i put my hand down to heat the oven... she was like "na not 2 fingers... 3" then 4 and she was asking for more,, , and thought fuck this im not going up there after that.. i just walked out her house lol.. so it wasnt really sex but it was to do sex
Click to expand...


You left? shit, I would have stuck around to see what all would fit up there. Lamps, pets, things she bought on eBay.
 
one time i was beating off and sitting down to porn, and it blew up and hit me in the face....it was the most traumatic experience iv ever had, and now i catch it in tissue

i nearly cut my hand, dick, and face off all at once, but then i realized that wouldnt be possible
 
I broke a girl's rib once fucking in a hot tub.

Had the dead fish (VERY DEAD).

Once I had a girl who wouldn't fuck me but get this, she lays me down on my back in the living room covers me up with warm, wet towels (cept my face and crotch) and proceeds to blow me/jack me off while she's playing a Paul Williams (yes you heard right, Paul Williams the short little fucker) record on her stereo. THAT was just fucking bizzare!!!!!

I've gotten blown while a girl was taking a shit.

I ass-fucked a chick in front of her two year old (which I didn't realize was watching til I was so close to cumming, I just said "fuck it").

And I had really rough sex with a girl who would punch me in the head, and I would punch her back (not real hard though).

I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).

I jacked off on top of several mountain peaks.

Pissed in a chicks face/mouth while she masturbated.

I've even pearl necklaced a girl's armpit (don't know what you call that though).

Is this stuff weird?
 
SublimeZM said:
one time i was beating off and sitting down to porn, and it blew up and hit me in the face....it was the most traumatic experience iv ever had, and now i catch it in tissue

i nearly cut my hand, dick, and face off all at once, but then i realized that wouldnt be possible
Click to expand...

*record skips*
 
Griz1 said:
I broke a girl's rib once fucking in a hot tub.

Had the dead fish (VERY DEAD).

Once I had a girl who wouldn't fuck me but get this, she lays me down on my back in the living room covers me up with warm, wet towels (cept my face and crotch) and proceeds to blow me/jack me off while she's playing a Paul Williams (yes you heard right, Paul Williams the short little fucker) record on her stereo. THAT was just fucking bizzare!!!!!

I've gotten blown while a girl was taking a shit.

I ass-fucked a chick in front of her two year old (which I didn't realize was watching til I was so close to cumming, I just said "fuck it").

And I had really rough sex with a girl who would punch me in the head, and I would punch her back (not real hard though).

I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).

I jacked off on top of several mountain peaks.

Pissed in a chicks face/mouth while she masturbated.

I've even pearl necklaced a girl's armpit (don't know what you call that though).

Is this stuff weird?
Click to expand...

no, thats not wierd. :worried:
 
I tried Viagra 100mg one night in New York City. My buddy and I took turns on 5 strippers from a prominent strip club. They were all really hot and it lasted for 3+ hours. The only problem was that they had to go after a while and I couldn't get off. So I wound up in the bathroom beating it. My whole entire right arm locked up.. then my left. I never got off. AND, I had to hang out at my buddies place with a hardon!
Needless to say, "don't look at me" was said quite a bit that night.
I am reformed now. I don't have meaningless sex anymore. I do miss it though...
 
Anal sex in the ball pit at Chucky E Cheese’s using McDonald’s pancake syrup as lube. She was fat and just about my mother’s age. I thought no one would ever know but, I was caught on the security camera.

About five years later I was surfing the net and came across it. I live with this shame now.
 
slat1 said:
I tried Viagra 100mg one night in New York City. My buddy and I took turns on 5 strippers from a prominent strip club. They were all really hot and it lasted for 3+ hours. The only problem was that they had to go after a while and I couldn't get off. So I wound up in the bathroom beating it. My whole entire right arm locked up.. then my left. I never got off. AND, I had to hang out at my buddies place with a hardon!
Needless to say, "don't look at me" was said quite a bit that night.
I am reformed now. I don't have meaningless sex anymore. I do miss it though...
Click to expand...

So in short...

the WORST sex you ever had was WITH YOURSELF? :worried:
 
Frisky said:
So in short...

the WORST sex you ever had was WITH YOURSELF? :worried:
Click to expand...

Having five of the hottest women should have been the best. The result of me beating off until both my arms were useless made it one of the worst.
I can't remember all the times I've had sex anyways... I'm suret there were some drunken moments that weren't so good!
 
chiba102 said:
Anal sex in the ball pit at Chucky E Cheese’s using McDonald’s pancake syrup as lube. She was fat and just about my mother’s age. I thought no one would ever know but, I was caught on the security camera.

About five years later I was surfing the net and came across it. I live with this shame now.
Click to expand...



bwahahhaha. I am glad I dont have experiences like these.

The worst was as follows...
In high school there was a girl, and she was giving me a blow job. I busted in her mouth and about 2 seconds later she has a riproaring sneeze. He mouth was full and she ended up blowing it all over me. face, clothes, car, everyfuckingwhere.


I also had another chick that smelled worse than anybody else's "she smelled THIS bad" stories. It was terrible, and I really did throw up. I never talked to her again.
 
This is a great thread...

Here are a couple of mine...I was fucking this waitress after a long night of working and drinking - I put it in her ass and was going to town, then it got all squishy down there, I didn't pay much attention, but then the smell started, and I realized that all this shit had squirted out around my dick. Naturally, I finished, but then sprinted for the shower.

Another time I was getting ready to fuck this spanish chick, but I had to take a piss, and told her I'd be right back. She said go right here, rubbing her jugs. I thought about whizzing on her and then wallowing in my own piss, and said, "sorry, I have to go now."


Bluesman
 
Mr. dB said:
Melanie

She was the most physically attractive woman I've ever boinked, the "leggy supermodel" type; she does some modelling for snazzy department store catalogues. She definitely had that "high priced spread" air about her. She just laid there like a dead fish, no passion, no feedback at all. I might as well have been a dildo.
Click to expand...

Ditto for me. Natalie was by light years the most beautiful girl I ever bedded and she was just a total flounder. I was the hero of the office (we worked together) after my roommate told everybody but it was right back to the enthusiastic plumpers after that.
 
chiba102 said:
Anal sex in the ball pit at Chucky E Cheese’s using McDonald’s pancake syrup as lube. She was fat and just about my mother’s age. I thought no one would ever know but, I was caught on the security camera.

About five years later I was surfing the net and came across it. I live with this shame now.
Click to expand...


This thread is worthless without a link!







:D
 
Griz1 said:
I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).
Click to expand...
AHAHAHAHAHA wtf!?!?!?!

immagine if you HAD killed her bro
 
chiba102 said:
About five years later I was surfing the net and came across it. I live with this shame now.
Click to expand...

That's when you were paroled?
 
SublimeZM said:
AHAHAHAHAHA wtf!?!?!?!

immagine if you HAD killed her bro
Click to expand...

Yeah i started slapping her face (not real hard but enough to sting you know) and she stopped jitterbugging and woke up.

Scared the fuck out of me too!
 
Griz1 said:
I broke a girl's rib once fucking in a hot tub.

Had the dead fish (VERY DEAD).

Once I had a girl who wouldn't fuck me but get this, she lays me down on my back in the living room covers me up with warm, wet towels (cept my face and crotch) and proceeds to blow me/jack me off while she's playing a Paul Williams (yes you heard right, Paul Williams the short little fucker) record on her stereo. THAT was just fucking bizzare!!!!!

I've gotten blown while a girl was taking a shit.

I ass-fucked a chick in front of her two year old (which I didn't realize was watching til I was so close to cumming, I just said "fuck it").

And I had really rough sex with a girl who would punch me in the head, and I would punch her back (not real hard though).

I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).

I jacked off on top of several mountain peaks.

Pissed in a chicks face/mouth while she masturbated.

I've even pearl necklaced a girl's armpit (don't know what you call that though).

Is this stuff weird?
Click to expand...
best post
 
So I'm just talking to a co-worker about this very subject (guess where I got the idea?) and he tells me a good one.

He's in his buddie's crew cab pickup with some drunk girl they picked up and, to shorten the story, they both wind up parked and fucking her in the back seat doggy style. He fucks her pussy and blows his load, but his buddy decides to ass-fuck her. Everything is fine until he pulls out and bam! She sprays diuretic feaces all over him, his dick, and the brand new truck's leather seats, doors and everything else. My co-worker said all he heard inside the truck was this guy swearing bloody Jesus and he open's the crew cab's back door covered in shit with his pants around his ankles. He said the smell was like a wave. He said it was like that picture floating around the internet called "Mexican Hangover" (you know the one with the guy bent over blowing an 8 foot stream of shit out his ass).

Apparently at this point they put the chick in the bed of the pickup, and somewhat cleaned out the back as best they could, and drove her home (all windows down). He said his buddy traded in the truck later that week cause the smell just wouldn't come out of the leather and door coverings.

I'm still bugging him cause I THINK the one that got sprayed was him, he swears it wasn't but I've got my doubts.

Good story out of him anyway.
 
awittyusername said:
Yesterday, I was banging this chick. And, she kept yelling "Hurry up and finish!! My van won't turn off!!! Dang!!!!"
Click to expand...
,,,

lol
 
Griz1 said:
I broke a girl's rib once fucking in a hot tub.

Had the dead fish (VERY DEAD).

Once I had a girl who wouldn't fuck me but get this, she lays me down on my back in the living room covers me up with warm, wet towels (cept my face and crotch) and proceeds to blow me/jack me off while she's playing a Paul Williams (yes you heard right, Paul Williams the short little fucker) record on her stereo. THAT was just fucking bizzare!!!!!

I've gotten blown while a girl was taking a shit.

I ass-fucked a chick in front of her two year old (which I didn't realize was watching til I was so close to cumming, I just said "fuck it").

And I had really rough sex with a girl who would punch me in the head, and I would punch her back (not real hard though).

I had a girl have me squeeze her neck when she came till she passed out (asphyxiation). She came like a cement truck and then started doing the funky chicken after she had passed out (though I'd killed her).

I jacked off on top of several mountain peaks.

Pissed in a chicks face/mouth while she masturbated.

I've even pearl necklaced a girl's armpit (don't know what you call that though).

Is this stuff weird?
Click to expand...



Nah but it hink you made that two year old gay lmao
 
well lets see
i was dating this guy.....and i dont really know why i was dating him....and we were having sex...and i thought i was going to throw up just because he was THERE....and i made him stop
 
Worst sex... I have a few

I guy I just met was going down on me but apparently nobodies ever told him that biting a woman's clit is painful. That shit hurts. You don't want teeth biting down on your dick, don't bite clits. :chomp:

He also has a thing about insulting me during sex. Calls me his fuckhole. I know it's just dirty talk but still...

OK, years ago I gave a guy a terrible blowjob. He pushed my head a little too hard into his dick and I ended up gagging and throwing up a little. It was nasty. I still feel bad when I think about it. He never called me again :blow:
 
Worse sex I had sober, was with a chick who got on EF just to see what site I was looking at (not my current wife Annabelletx) when I told her I was on my message board typing while chatting with her on the phone once. She got on EF for a couple of weeks and then left after posting and chatting a bit.

Basically, she gave horrible head, no suction, teeth dragging (my dick went limp), then when I went down on her she did not make a sound or move at all. Once I started fucking her, again she just laid there...and after about 5 minutes of this I pretended to cum then went to the bathroom and flushed the condum so she would not know and just chilled and chatting with her for a couple hours before going home. She was a good conversationalist. A couple weeks later we were chatting and she admitted that she did not think we were sexually compatable, and I admitted to faking my orgasim.
 
dzulboy said:
i can't believe BBF is married WOW
Click to expand...

I can't believe I wasted so many years chasing anyone but Anna. It feels like I have been with her for years, and it is a bit difficult to imagine NOT having her now.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Worse sex I had sober, was with a chick who got on EF just to see what site I was looking at (not my current wife Annabelletx) when I told her I was on my message board typing while chatting with her on the phone once. She got on EF for a couple of weeks and then left after posting and chatting a bit.

Basically, she gave horrible head, no suction, teeth dragging (my dick went limp), then when I went down on her she did not make a sound or move at all. Once I started fucking her, again she just laid there...and after about 5 minutes of this I pretended to cum then went to the bathroom and flushed the condum so she would not know and just chilled and chatting with her for a couple hours before going home. She was a good conversationalist. A couple weeks later we were chatting and she admitted that she did not think we were sexually compatable, and I admitted to faking my orgasim.
Click to expand...


LOL you faked an orgasm.
 
well for the weirdest. i dated a chick that loved the smell of my armpits. lol, no kidding. she would even lick them. she was a hot little bag of dynamite too. fucked like a wildcat.

reminded me of the chick in Porkys that got so turned on in the boys locker room.
 
Worst ever was when I was with a girl who had a slightly large hole to fill, she layed there like she didn't know what to do, and after I had been fucking her for a while I pulled my dick out and it was covered with these little bits of yeast, I didn't want to be rude and act disgusted because it's really not her fault but I couldn't exactly hide it because I went limp quicker than a guy who saw Oprah in a porno.
 
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