Women, if a man did not pay the tab on the first date, would you go on a second date?

[cindylou]

I think it all depends on your own place in life

If you are in college, and everyone is kinda broke , well, expecting to always be paid for is bitchy but I still dont see why a guy cant afford two dinners at a casual restaurant? But still.....

But they place i"m in ; If a guy is too prideful to spend $$ on me without bitching about it or testing me, well he's just not my kinda guy

we all have different types, that type aint mine.

 

[vixensghost]

mary lou retton....

Ya think? Someone, I think it was Sailor Girl, told me I look like Jamie Lee Curtis, but with boobs and a butt. lol

 

[H_T_]

Ya think? Someone, I think it was Sailor Girl, told me I look like Jamie Lee Curtis, but with boobs and a butt. lol

JLC has a penis.

 

[heatherrae]

I always pay... now explain what a bcbg dress is somebody. I would have thought that George's new spell-it-out board would have surely had that, obviously everyone knows what the hell it is but me....

BCBG is just a designer brand.

 

[vixensghost]

JLC has a penis.

Funny, I've been accused of having one of those a few time in my life too. Typically asked by men who were being cut down to size by me in a board room or in a biz setting. Funny how that works, huh?

 

[Scotsman]

I always pay for a date whether it is 1st 2nd... etc. Just the way I was brought up, I also do all the door opening and chair pulling out stuff.

When I was po in college it was harder to manage but still worked it out. The best was one girl I dated would help plan out the dates based on where we could find coupons too!!LOL That was the closest I'd let her get to paying.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[heatherrae]

The guys a tool. But women, as evidenced by this thread, have a sense of entitlement.

It isn't entitlement, really. It is just basic etiquette. You don't send an invitation out and then make the person pay. If a man treats me well, he can expect plenty of home cooked meals, love, and devotion. Buying me dinner and a drink on the first date isn't too much to expect if a guy is serious about respecting my time and feelings.

 

[yonkers weights]

So true! Same page bro!

I always pay for a date whether it is 1st 2nd... etc. Just the way I was brought up, I also do all the door opening and chair pulling out stuff.

When I was po in college it was harder to manage but still worked it out. The best was one girl I dated would help plan out the dates based on where we could find coupons too!!LOL That was the closest I'd let her get to paying.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[jackangel]

if you put forth your way as the 'right' way, you're probably being provincial. this issue has nearly everything to do with your past experiences and environment (i.e. your upbringing). just because things have been one way (the man does this, the woman does that) for ... well, nearly the entire history of mankind ... doesn't mean it must or should stay this way. history continues, the world changes.

if i like a girl, i'll pay. i'll pay anyway, in most cases, out of habit (i shouldn't). this isn't because i've asked her out. that makes no sense. the girl isn't doing me a favour by going out with me, but is hopefully there for the exact same reason that i am. i'm also not paying because i'm the man. if you think it's the job of a 'real man' to pay, you're standing on illusions.

i'm paying because i like her enough to show that i care. for her part, ideally, she should also want to pay for that reason. even if i don't 'let' her, it's still nice. and if she does make that offer, she should mean it...an insincere offer made just to look good is not to anyone's credit.

if i do let her pay at some point, it's because i don't want it to be the big deal it often seems to be. tradition and custom have the primary value of helping to give one an identity, but being mired in narrow-minded tradition and custom is pointless or even harmful at times. in a strong relationship (or the beginnings of one), if it matters enough that she contribute something eventually, i'll let her...because doing so serves as a recognition and appreciation of her desire to be an equal and not simply take without giving.

 

[heatherrae]

I always pay for a date whether it is 1st 2nd... etc. Just the way I was brought up, I also do all the door opening and chair pulling out stuff.

When I was po in college it was harder to manage but still worked it out. The best was one girl I dated would help plan out the dates based on where we could find coupons too!!LOL That was the closest I'd let her get to paying.

Cheers,
Scotsman

In college, we would grab coffee or sit in the park or whatever. It didn't have to cost more than $5. It is just the gesture of being asked out and taken care of that I find attractive.

Whether you guys think it is antiquated or ridiculous, I can't help the way that I feel. If a guy asks me out and then tries to go dutch once the tab arrives, I feel like he is probably never going to be generous in any way (not just financially) or that he is kind of a wuss who can't even provide one good date. It just makes me not attracted anymore. I can't help how I feel about it.