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Why are men like this?!

blueta2

blueta2

New member
It seems like when men want a woman, they pull out all the stops, but once they "get her", they pull away!
Then when the woman pulls away, the guy is all over here again!

What is this about? How do you make it stop?!
 
One of my friends said something that hit home, she said "Men love to chase! If you are the one chasing him, he is definitely chasing after someone else."
 
Guide to Men
--------------

old brain = spread your seed

new brain = find a mate

our emotional stuff probably comes from our new brain, because it binds us to a specific woman.

our old brain is always trying to pull us away to others.

trick is to mix it up to confuse our old brain so our new brain can do its thing. remember our old brain just wants to get laid.

mix it up = outfits, sex in weird places, new positions, new girlfriend enthusiasm, initiation

cliff's notes: trick our old, dumber brain into thinking you're a different girl while our new brain locks you in as our mate.

HTH!
 
I don't think that's true of men and women.

I had this talk with someone the other day kind of.

You're describing a relationship where one person cares more about their partner than the other. Sometimes that's the man, sometimes that's the women. I've been both the person who cares more and the person who cares less, but there is a such thing as meeting in the middle. That's the point of dating is to find it.

Successful relationships are the ones where you both give the exact same amount of shit about each other, to put it eloquently.
 
blueta2 said:
It seems like when men want a woman, they pull out all the stops, but once they "get her", they pull away!
Then when the woman pulls away, the guy is all over here again!

What is this about? How do you make it stop?!
Click to expand...
perhaps you shouldn't date teenagers
yo yo
 
ololololol! @ the notion men are the only ones who change the rules when they think they set the hook :rolleyes:
 
when I date a teenager I view it like an amusement park ride
yay yay
then the ride ends
 
mrplunkey said:
Guide to Men
--------------

old brain = spread your seed

new brain = find a mate

our emotional stuff probably comes from our new brain, because it binds us to a specific woman.

our old brain is always trying to pull us away to others.

trick is to mix it up to confuse our old brain so our new brain can do its thing. remember our old brain just wants to get laid.

mix it up = outfits, sex in weird places, new positions, new girlfriend enthusiasm, initiation

cliff's notes: trick our old, dumber brain into thinking you're a different girl while our new brain locks you in as our mate.

HTH!
Click to expand...

weight ... my brain doesn't work anything like that



just sayin'
 
them youngsters are less hung up on the relationships longevity
they're still experimenting with their bodies
and I'm dr zhivago
 
mrplunkey said:
Guide to Men
--------------

old brain = spread your seed

new brain = find a mate

our emotional stuff probably comes from our new brain, because it binds us to a specific woman.

our old brain is always trying to pull us away to others.

trick is to mix it up to confuse our old brain so our new brain can do its thing. remember our old brain just wants to get laid.

mix it up = outfits, sex in weird places, new positions, new girlfriend enthusiasm, initiation

cliff's notes: trick our old, dumber brain into thinking you're a different girl while our new brain locks you in as our mate.

HTH!
Click to expand...

that's the coolidge effect
pick cut and paste the coolidge effect
 
well i dont really date anymore if you read my other tread youd see but men usually act like that because.he realizes shes not interested no more and that in his mind make him go into chase mood ..its kinda like a push pull thing

like a kid once he gets a lets say game he plays it and beats it right? then he doesn't play it again,that doesn't mean he doesn't like or does not want that game that just means that some how along the way he lost something that motivated him to play that game,but if we take that game away he will do whatever it is to get it back to replay it,and it becomes like hes playing it for the first time..

you like this guy?you want him?

these are some hints ok

if yall go back out on a date or whatever first dress really sexy

be playfull every time he goes to kiss you or something like that dont let him do a playful umm whats the word?do a playful not yet type of thing ex.He goes to kiss you turn your head and say something like slow down tiger ,we have to finish dinner first or some other bullshit..would be called a neg but lets not get into all that

the whole idea is to get him to chase you


and when he goes to do something not let him,then youll reward him by something..complement.anything that makes you show interest then you push him back,then show interest and basically repeat





thats just one way you can use psychology to your advantage,,,if you disagree then disrgard what i said
 
AFeedz said:
I don't think that's true of men and women.

I had this talk with someone the other day kind of.

You're describing a relationship where one person cares more about their partner than the other. Sometimes that's the man, sometimes that's the women. I've been both the person who cares more and the person who cares less, but there is a such thing as meeting in the middle. That's the point of dating is to find it.

Successful relationships are the ones where you both give the exact same amount of shit about each other, to put it eloquently.
Click to expand...


I'd love to believe your theory lol but in reality someone Always has the upper hand.
 
thelocal said:
well i dont really date anymore if you read my other tread youd see but men usually act like that because.he realizes shes not interested no more and that in his mind make him go into chase mood ..its kinda like a push pull thing

like a kid once he gets a lets say game he plays it and beats it right? then he doesn't play it again,that doesn't mean he doesn't like or does not want that game that just means that some how along the way he lost something that motivated him to play that game,but if we take that game away he will do whatever it is to get it back to replay it,and it becomes like hes playing it for the first time..

you like this guy?you want him?

these are some hints ok

if yall go back out on a date or whatever first dress really sexy

be playfull every time he goes to kiss you or something like that dont let him do a playful umm whats the word?do a playful not yet type of thing ex.He goes to kiss you turn your head and say something like slow down tiger ,we have to finish dinner first or some other bullshit..would be called a neg but lets not get into all that

the whole idea is to get him to chase you


and when he goes to do something not let him,then youll reward him by something..complement.anything that makes you show interest then you push him back,then show interest and basically repeat





thats just one way you can use psychology to your advantage,,,if you disagree then disrgard what i said
Click to expand...

why do you regard it as a battle?
fuckin' ding bat
 
Spartacus said:
that's the coolidge effect
pick cut and paste the coolidge effect
Click to expand...

Yup. That's the old brain making us want to hit it.

What most women don't understand is that our old brain isn't that smart. Even stupid things like outfits, wigs and really poor role play can trick it. There are obvious exceptions, but there's no reason an average girl can't keep the average guy interested in her physically forever.
 
wait..what??


Adults talking!!! shh...



thelocal said:
well i dont really date anymore if you read my other tread youd see but men usually act like that because.he realizes shes not interested no more and that in his mind make him go into chase mood ..its kinda like a push pull thing

like a kid once he gets a lets say game he plays it and beats it right? then he doesn't play it again,that doesn't mean he doesn't like or does not want that game that just means that some how along the way he lost something that motivated him to play that game,but if we take that game away he will do whatever it is to get it back to replay it,and it becomes like hes playing it for the first time..

you like this guy?you want him?

these are some hints ok

if yall go back out on a date or whatever first dress really sexy

be playfull every time he goes to kiss you or something like that dont let him do a playful umm whats the word?do a playful not yet type of thing ex.He goes to kiss you turn your head and say something like slow down tiger ,we have to finish dinner first or some other bullshit..would be called a neg but lets not get into all that

the whole idea is to get him to chase you


and when he goes to do something not let him,then youll reward him by something..complement.anything that makes you show interest then you push him back,then show interest and basically repeat





thats just one way you can use psychology to your advantage,,,if you disagree then disrgard what i said
Click to expand...
 
thelocal said:
well i dont really date anymore if you read my other tread youd see but men usually act like that because.he realizes shes not interested no more and that in his mind make him go into chase mood ..its kinda like a push pull thing

like a kid once he gets a lets say game he plays it and beats it right? then he doesn't play it again,that doesn't mean he doesn't like or does not want that game that just means that some how along the way he lost something that motivated him to play that game,but if we take that game away he will do whatever it is to get it back to replay it,and it becomes like hes playing it for the first time..

you like this guy?you want him?



these are some hints ok

if yall go back out on a date or whatever first dress really sexy

be playfull every time he goes to kiss you or something like that dont let him do a playful umm whats the word?do a playful not yet type of thing ex.He goes to kiss you turn your head and say something like slow down tiger ,we have to finish dinner first or some other bullshit..would be called a neg but lets not get into all that

the whole idea is to get him to chase you


and when he goes to do something not let him,then youll reward him by something..complement.anything that makes you show interest then you push him back,then show interest and basically repeat





thats just one way you can use psychology to your advantage,,,if you disagree then disrgard what i said
Click to expand...

*don't
*thread
*you'd
*playful
*disregard
 
mrplunkey said:
Guide to Men
--------------

old brain = spread your seed

new brain = find a mate

our emotional stuff probably comes from our new brain, because it binds us to a specific woman.

our old brain is always trying to pull us away to others.

trick is to mix it up to confuse our old brain so our new brain can do its thing. remember our old brain just wants to get laid.

mix it up = outfits, sex in weird places, new positions, new girlfriend enthusiasm, initiation

cliff's notes: trick our old, dumber brain into thinking you're a different girl while our new brain locks you in as our mate.

HTH!
Click to expand...

Pssst, and they say woman are confusing!

My sex with the bf is awesome, it's not that. It just seems that when he is all lovey "I love you, I miss you" and I don't really get mushy, he's all into it. Then when I'm all "Love you, miss you" he backs off.
 
princesa said:
I'd love to believe your theory lol but in reality someone Always has the upper hand.
Click to expand...

Of course someone will always have the upper hand, but it should be going back and forth depending on the situation. Both parties may not both have the upper hand at the same moment, but they should have it equally or you're doomed.
 
Last edited:
PICK3 said:
weight ... my brain doesn't work anything like that



just sayin'
Click to expand...

That's because your old brain is triggered by teh sawsage.

Have Mr. Long John put on an outfit. You'll be power-bottoming like you just first met.
 
blueta2 said:
Pssst, and they say woman are confusing!

My sex with the bf is awesome, it's not that. It just seems that when he is all lovey "I love you, I miss you" and I don't really get mushy, he's all into it. Then when I'm all "Love you, miss you" he backs off.
Click to expand...

properly executed mind fucks make me want to smoke a cig afterwards too!
 
AFeedz said:
I don't think that's true of men and women.

I had this talk with someone the other day kind of.

You're describing a relationship where one person cares more about their partner than the other. Sometimes that's the man, sometimes that's the women. I've been both the person who cares more and the person who cares less, but there is a such thing as meeting in the middle. That's the point of dating is to find it.

Successful relationships are the ones where you both give the exact same amount of shit about each other, to put it eloquently.
Click to expand...

No, that's not it.
We care about one another, but we've both been through some major shitty relationships and have these walls.
 
mrplunkey said:
Yup. That's the old brain making us want to hit it.

What most women don't understand is that our old brain isn't that smart. Even stupid things like outfits, wigs and really poor role play can trick it. There are obvious exceptions, but there's no reason an average girl can't keep the average guy interested in her physically forever.
Click to expand...



Sex isn't the issue here. If he wasn't sexually satisfied he wouldn't come back after she pulls away. This is what we are trying to make sense of.
 
read some books on relationships

this is natural

at times we will be really close to you, others we just pull away and want to be left alone. It's just a cycle that doesn't mean anything. If you notice he is pulling away for a little bit, he will come back and be crazy again.

wait, oh, he's cheating on you!!!
 
EarthRider said:
read some books on relationships

this is natural

at times we will be really close to you, others we just pull away and want to be left alone. It's just a cycle that doesn't mean anything. If you notice he is pulling away for a little bit, he will come back and be crazy again.

wait, oh, he's cheating on you!!!
Click to expand...

Thank you, Dr. Phil!
 
blueta2 said:
No, that's not it.
We care about one another, but we've both been through some major shitty relationships and have these walls.
Click to expand...

My point wasn't that one of you cares less, I was just commenting that it's not always the man who's confusingly hot and cold. :)
 
thelocal said:
well i dont really date anymore if you read my other tread youd see but men usually act like that because.he realizes shes not interested no more and that in his mind make him go into chase mood ..its kinda like a push pull thing

like a kid once he gets a lets say game he plays it and beats it right? then he doesn't play it again,that doesn't mean he doesn't like or does not want that game that just means that some how along the way he lost something that motivated him to play that game,but if we take that game away he will do whatever it is to get it back to replay it,and it becomes like hes playing it for the first time..

you like this guy?you want him?

these are some hints ok

if yall go back out on a date or whatever first dress really sexy

be playfull every time he goes to kiss you or something like that dont let him do a playful umm whats the word?do a playful not yet type of thing ex.He goes to kiss you turn your head and say something like slow down tiger ,we have to finish dinner first or some other bullshit..would be called a neg but lets not get into all that

the whole idea is to get him to chase you


and when he goes to do something not let him,then youll reward him by something..complement.anything that makes you show interest then you push him back,then show interest and basically repeat





thats just one way you can use psychology to your advantage,,,if you disagree then disrgard what i said
Click to expand...

I agree on certain aspect. I've been with this guy on and off for 10 months but serious for 3 months. So we don't "date".


And Spart, he's 43....only 3 yrs younger than me, but aren't most men mentally teenagers anyway ;-)
 
blueta2 said:
I agree on certain aspect. I've been with this guy on and off for 10 months but serious for 3 months. So we don't "date".


And Spart, he's 43....only 3 yrs younger than me, but aren't most men mentally teenagers anyway ;-)
Click to expand...


men's chronological age means dick
 
women always have the upper hand

even when my wife fucks up, i'm am the one apoligizing
 
EarthRider said:
read some books on relationships

this is natural

at times we will be really close to you, others we just pull away and want to be left alone. It's just a cycle that doesn't mean anything. If you notice he is pulling away for a little bit, he will come back and be crazy again.

wait, oh, he's cheating on you!!!
Click to expand...

My boss told me to read "Why men Behave badly" After my last disaster of a boyfriend, I read every frigging relationship book I could find and still am baffled at mind games etc.

He only pulls away when I let my walls down a little. He is always saying how I have this wall up (which I do), but then I will give in a little and he pulls back.
He doesn't want to be alone, he always wants to be with me, but more like cutting the night shorter or not wanting to talk before bed (which is have done for 10 months).
Just little things......

Just odd
 
AFeedz said:
If you're saying that's true, either you care more about your bf than he cares for you or vice versa. Which is it? Whichever it is, that's your problem.

Mystery solved.
Click to expand...

It's neither! the caring is equal. It's not so black and white
 
blueta2 said:
My boss told me to read "Why men Behave badly" After my last disaster of a boyfriend, I read every frigging relationship book I could find and still am baffled at mind games etc.

He only pulls away when I let my walls down a little. He is always saying how I have this wall up (which I do), but then I will give in a little and he pulls back.
He doesn't want to be alone, he always wants to be with me, but more like cutting the night shorter or not wanting to talk before bed (which is have done for 10 months).
Just little things......

Just odd
Click to expand...

"Men are from Mars and WOman from Venus"

and read this one

Amazon.com: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs (9781591451877): Emerson Eggerichs: Books
"

If we are trying to figure something out, or process something we get quiet. Whem women process, they don't stop talking. SOmetimes he may get quiet cause he is thinking.
 
ER, you're on to something there cause I am a talker, but he talks A LOT, but when it's an issue, I talk and he always says "why are we talking about this"
He doesn't want to process it
 
blueta2 said:
ER, you're on to something there cause I am a talker, but he talks A LOT, but when it's an issue, I talk and he always says "why are we talking about this"
He doesn't want to process it
Click to expand...

I talk a lot too with my wife. I blab her ear off. But when she asks advice, or opens up, I may get quiet cause I have to process.
 
blueta2 said:
ER, you're on to something there cause I am a talker, but he talks A LOT, but when it's an issue, I talk and he always says "why are we talking about this"
He doesn't want to process it
Click to expand...


So, try a different approach. Plant the seed, give him time to process it and then pick it up another time.
 
Jesus butt niggering Christ, these forums are getting almost as gay as the POF forums with the obvious relationship questions.
 
uamaverick said:
Jesus butt niggering Christ, these forums are getting almost as gay as the POF forums with the obvious relationship questions.
Click to expand...

and like any male, if we stopped them, you would want them back ;-)

POF is laced with crazies, here, we are normal ;-)
 
Nope, nobody here is normal.

But to answer the question, basically, men stop doing the little things once we have you because we don't give a shit anymore. We have already won, why bother doing anything else.

It's similar to when guys have "commitment issues." Men don't have those issues, we just prefer not to try to marry you because, well, you're just not hot ENOUGH to wake up to every morning.

Similar to when guys suddenly lose their fun personality. We realized that you weren't nearly as hot as we thought in that dark bar when we were drunk, so we cave up in hopes you'll just think we have shitty personalities, because it's kinda heartless to just say, "Hey cunt, you're ugly, GTFO."
 
uamaverick said:
Nope, nobody here is normal.

But to answer the question, basically, men stop doing the little things once we have you because we don't give a shit anymore. We have already won, why bother doing anything else.

It's similar to when guys have "commitment issues." Men don't have those issues, we just prefer not to try to marry you because, well, you're just not hot ENOUGH to wake up to every morning.

Similar to when guys suddenly lose their fun personality. We realized that you weren't nearly as hot as we thought in that dark bar when we were drunk, so we cave up in hopes you'll just think we have shitty personalities, because it's kinda heartless to just say, "Hey asshole, you have a small dick, GTFO."
Click to expand...


fixed :)
 
AFeedz said:
If you're saying that's true, either you care more about your bf than he cares for you or vice versa. Which is it? Whichever it is, that's your problem.

Mystery solved.
Click to expand...

this is the type of girl that orders you to fuck her ass
well yeah
I can
hold on a minute
 
uamaverick said:
Nope, nobody here is normal.

But to answer the question, basically, men stop doing the little things once we have you because we don't give a shit anymore. We have already won, why bother doing anything else.

It's similar to when guys have "commitment issues." Men don't have those issues, we just prefer not to try to marry you because, well, you're just not hot ENOUGH to wake up to every morning.

Similar to when guys suddenly lose their fun personality. We realized that you weren't nearly as hot as we thought in that dark bar when we were drunk, so we cave up in hopes you'll just think we have shitty personalities, because it's kinda heartless to just say, "Hey cunt, you're ugly, GTFO."
Click to expand...
women do the same things
even when they're struggling tryin' to hang on
they get lazy
I hate that when I got to cut one loose
please fuck up so I can exit
 
yeah I made a couple of in retrospect mistakes
Tracy and Kim
but what the hell
I will say this
while dating a gal I don't even talk to another women
a women in the game you know
they can do what they want
you want gals night out?
yay give me a break
I'll catch up on internet porn and eat pizza to ESPN
 
what's tricky is gals know in the first 30 seconds you're that kinda guy
right headholio?
 
uamaverick said:
Nope, nobody here is normal.

But to answer the question, basically, men stop doing the little things once we have you because we don't give a shit anymore. We have already won, why bother doing anything else.

It's similar to when guys have "commitment issues." Men don't have those issues, we just prefer not to try to marry you because, well, you're just not hot ENOUGH to wake up to every morning.

Similar to when guys suddenly lose their fun personality. We realized that you weren't nearly as hot as we thought in that dark bar when we were drunk, so we cave up in hopes you'll just think we have shitty personalities, because it's kinda heartless to just say, "Hey cunt, you're ugly, GTFO."
Click to expand...

I`m pretty friggin hot dude! ;-)

You should be a couples therapist!
 
it's not that we have to camoflauge our behavior
we stick with what we are
and tend to be single more often than not
 
blueta2 said:
I`m pretty friggin hot dude! ;-)

You should be a couples therapist!
Click to expand...

couples therapist my ass
those comments were so slanted against the male
we're equal
betty crocker
you need a male that makes love to your mind
everyday
even when we argue you get horny
 
This is what I think, men are super insecure and if they show they are into their girl, they feel weak! If the girl pulls away, then they need to get her back into the safe zone.
Am I right fellers?
 
princesa said:
I'd love to believe your theory lol but in reality someone Always has the upper hand.
Click to expand...

you think so?
really
there can't be two people so close in attributes and attraction for each other
that there is no upper hand
I'm thinkin' you usually think you have the upper hand
and are "princesa"
good luck sweets
 
blueta2 said:
This is what I think, men are super insecure and if they show they are into their girl, they feel weak! If the girl pulls away, then they need to get her back into the safe zone.
Am I right fellers?
Click to expand...

well I have two sisters
one a year younger than me
and the other two years
so we 3 grew up together
one sister is a CPA
and the other is a highly compensated computer programmer for the US armed forces
what's my point?
much of this tripe is silly
such as a 45 year old women bragging on the net how horny she is
like dog do
you stepped right into it nancy
 
blueta2 said:
Where the fuck is Smurf?
Click to expand...

:wavey:

I don't have much input except to say I don't tend to generalize about men and women because there are all kinds of each. All men aren't insecure, all women aren't crazy. I think if you're dealing with this issue then it's just your man is acting this way, not all men
 
Smurf, WTF! That's it? I was waiting for some colossal answer and I get a common sense one?! great...... ;-)
 
blueta2 said:
Pssst, and they say woman are confusing!

My sex with the bf is awesome, it's not that. It just seems that when he is all lovey "I love you, I miss you" and I don't really get mushy, he's all into it. Then when I'm all "Love you, miss you" he backs off.
Click to expand...

That purely is a comfort zone. All of us both men and women have insecurity issues. When you go back to him in the love you miss you. It makes him feel secure plain and simple. Its not really backing off just comfort at least that makes me feel better.
 
blueta2 said:
Smurf, WTF! That's it? I was waiting for some colossal answer and I get a common sense one?! great...... ;-)
Click to expand...
i know wtf!! hahah I dont have much to offer. Plus, I may be in a fantastic relationship (finally) now, but I'm not one to give relationship advice LOL
 
Is this a "why don't you talk to me anymore" or a "what's wrong with you" problem? I hate when my wife asks me questions like that.

Its probably not really a big deal. You're most likely making it more than it is. Men are simple. Or at least I am anyway.
 
blueta2 said:
It seems like when men want a woman, they pull out all the stops, but once they "get her", they pull away!
Then when the woman pulls away, the guy is all over here again!

What is this about? How do you make it stop?!
Click to expand...

simple to fix, the man has to stop giving the woman everything she says she wants.. and thus she's the one always wanting..

and the man has to be willing to take back the power, sounds simple but we are a slave to the penis, the trick is to make the woman the slave to the penis and then the man will feel secure and thus all is good.
 
In these cases blue,it's obvious the two were most likely not meant for one another IMO.
No need for chasing or games when two are on the same page
 
I think it's human nature and applies to both sides.

there are few exceptions to this rule, and generally those are the ones that end in a healthy relationship.

in general, people get comfortable and complacent when they no longer feel like they have to work towards something. then when you take it away from them, they feel like they have to work for it all over again. sometimes when you take it away, they may or may not take it for granted anymore but it depends

there is no mystery here.

other times they want you back is because they may not neccessarily want to be with you but they don't want to be alone or want you to be with somebody else
 
calveless wonder said:
unfortunately, yes.......

I think it's about it not being as drastic of a difference. that's how people can make it work.
Click to expand...

Yes because someone will always have it.

No because who has it shouldn't always be the same.

People don't make it work because of the degree of difference between the upper and lower hand in their relationship, they make it work when whoever has the upper hand changes as situations arise. What exists between two or more people is called a dynamic for a reason: because it's in a state of constant change.

If you're in a relationship where one person always has the upper hand and you think that's fine, it's going to be a fucked relationship no matter how small the difference between their hand and your own.
 
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