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Who else prefers girls with serious boyfriends?

plornive

New member
I haven't been with many married ladies, but I am addicted to girls who are in serious relationships. Maybe it's the jealousy factor. I have never been more attracted to a female than when she had a serious relationship at the time.

For instance, right now I am involved with a girl who lives with her boyfriend. She keeps finding excuses to spend the night at my place and I am thoroughly addicted to her. There's really not much that can stop me. I know she will not leave her boyfriend, and I know that I wouldn't really be excited if she did (although I almost want to make her leave him). We basically marathon fuck all the time, and I wonder what she tells her boyfriend when he wants to do her.

I've been in this kind of situation 3 times. I am beginning to see it as a pattern.
 
on this note...I have been attracting nothing but hot married women lately....WTF....all of whom are going thru divorces...still not for me...no more ex-husband shit....poor kids too....why do they have to be so hot and horney...??? Damn it...
 
I think you like the danger of it and the excitement of having sex with someone that is not yours...You like the idea of getting one over on the guy. Maybe we girls should be like that.......hmmmm
 
All the while, she acts ignorant of the dynamics of our situation. Although she is cognizant of the allure her round ass, exquisite nipples, shapely neck and willingness to swallow, she seems to think it ends at that. This just makes me want to rape her yet again, and much harder.

You might think I am playing with fire, but perhaps you are wrong. She isn't going to get caught. Her man is a MORAN. I just need to play it right and find several (hundred?) pieces of ass to compensate for the lack of deliciousness when the affair ends.
 
SoKlueles said:
I think you like the danger of it and the excitement of having sex with someone that is not yours...You like the idea of getting one over on the guy.
This is true.

SoKlueles said:
Maybe we girls should be like that.......hmmmm
I thought girls already did that. Anyway, YES you should be like that.
 
I cant be like that....im a good girl. I only am with one person at one time....except my maintenance man:) jk
 
SoKlueles said:
I cant be like that....im a good girl. I only am with one person at one time....except my maintenance man:) jk
Heheheh... are you taunting me?

Actually I meant that you should try to have affairs with involved men to vindicate their women. You don't actually need to cheat.
 
Oh if i was single I should do guys that have gfs? or even wives? I had a friends bf hit on me before...i felt sort of .weird with that....i ended up telling her about it.
 
SoKlueles said:
Oh if i was single I should do guys that have gfs? or even wives?
Yes.

SoKlueles said:
I had a friends bf hit on me before...i felt sort of .weird with that....i ended up telling her about it.
I have never done anything with a friend's girl. I have never even considered it. I have fucked a friend's sister, but that was after he propositioned my girl. He was a jackass.

The moment one of my past relationshps ended, the girl's very closest friend spread her legs. At least she waited until the relationship was over.
 
How sweet of her....I think if me and my bf broke up...I woudl not be able to be with anyone else for a while...Im sure he would not hesitate...well maybe he would...i dont know....I know he loves me...maybe men handle that in different ways do u think they do?
 
SoKlueles said:
How sweet of her....I think if me and my bf broke up...I woudl not be able to be with anyone else for a while...Im sure he would not hesitate...well maybe he would...i dont know....I know he loves me...maybe men handle that in different ways do u think they do?
In an actually very serious relationship, I think it's much less likely to go down like that. About men and women handling that situation differently, I don't think gender is the paramount factor. Maybe women are slightly less likely to handle it that way. It's mostly individual I think. Women are better at hiding it, though, which is a good thing.
 
that is playing with fire on one hand but the perfect situation on the other. you dont have to worry about commitment and you get the good stuff as well. I wouldnt mind meeeting a hot girl and messing around with her if she had a serious boyfriend bc there's no attachment
 
first off, you're probably full of shit, but if you aren't, you can be sure that what goes around comes around. and Bad Karma in real life is a bitch.
 
SoKlueles said:
I think you like the danger of it and the excitement of having sex with someone that is not yours...You like the idea of getting one over on the guy. Maybe we girls should be like that.......hmmmm

Well, I'll risk sounding like a Dr Phil or a Oprah so here goes...

Usually (but not always) someone who's exclusively attracted to married or otherwise unattainable sex partners have some form of child abuse in their past. Has a lot to do with a fear of intimacy.

Hope I didn't piss yet another person off.
 
Dunno, I can see the attraction from your point of view, but if I was the boyfriend and found out I'd put my fist through your fucking little skull, so don't whine if he does.
 
Haha...I know how to stop you....if it were my girl that is.

Can you here that.....that sound of rounds entering my gun...can you here the sound of the hammer falling back?

Hehehe....just kidding......maybe......
 
I can imagine the guy getting really jealous and pissed off. Honestly, that is part of the pleasure. I've even fantasized about beating him and nailing his girl in front of him. And I'm pretty sure that if shit got serious the guy would be in much more danger than me. I've seen pictures of him.

I don't think I've ever been sexually abused, although the idea doesn't offend me. I think some people classify anything other than monogamy as a disorder by default. I'm not sure about the fear of intimacy thing. I'll look into that.
 
It aint about monogamy or polygamy, its about YourDickInMyGirlamy which is a fatal condition I am afraid.

Its just the way I was raised and everyone makes mistakes but she is a skank and you are a piece of shit if you do this continually.
 
Id beat the living shit out of u and tie u up,then stick ice picks in ur knees, pull out all ur teeth and ur tongue with a pliers , then id take out a blowtorch and put it on a real low setting........

Den Id start on her...........she would be sittin just across from u
 
Mandinka2 said:
Id beat the living shit out of u and tie u up,then stick ice picks in ur knees, pull out all ur teeth and ur tongue with a pliers , then id take out a blowtorch and put it on a real low setting........

Den Id start on her...........she would be sittin just across from u

Ditto, except with my bf and the girl he would cheat with. :)
 
Mandinka2 said:
Id beat the living shit out of u and tie u up,then stick ice picks in ur knees, pull out all ur teeth and ur tongue with a pliers , then id take out a blowtorch and put it on a real low setting........

Den Id start on her...........she would be sittin just across from u
I can understand the feeling. I might do the same thing.

But it's usually mostly the cheater's fault. In one of the instances where I was involved with an involved girl, she didn't tell me she had a boyfriend until well into our relationship. However, when she told me, I was even more into it.
 
When it comes to my SO, yes I do. It sucks when you give them all you have and more....and they repay you by fkn around on you....so they deserve to be ballless
 
Athos said:


Well, I'll risk sounding like a Dr Phil or a Oprah so here goes...

Usually (but not always) someone who's exclusively attracted to married or otherwise unattainable sex partners have some form of child abuse in their past. Has a lot to do with a fear of intimacy.

Hope I didn't piss yet another person off.



Athos : you took the words right out of my mouth , ok maybe not the Dr. phil part, but anyway.

It sounds to me like you don't want anyone , that might have a slight chance of having a loving relationship with.

Sex is not love, no matter how many women you have sex with you won't find it that way.

But there is alway the chance that you will, but you can't have her because she is taken. Then you are the one that is hurt.

Besides that just isn't cool to do, and shame on the women you are with . I feel sorry for you and there boyfriends.

Thats my opinion , and 2 cents worth
 
I have no problem with fair criticism. Even when someone tells me they would stick ice-picks into my knees and saute me on low heat, I am truly not offended.

But I think people should remember that our feelings and desires are not always aligned with our actions. There are a lot of people who may feel and act the same as me, but act indignant when presented with the idea.

I didn't wake up one day and say that I was going to speciallize in involved chicks. It developed slowly.

Therefore, if the only response you have is one of moral judgement, it will fly right past me.
 
plornive said:
I can imagine the guy getting really jealous and pissed off. Honestly, that is part of the pleasure. I've even fantasized about beating him and nailing his girl in front of him. And I'm pretty sure that if shit got serious the guy would be in much more danger than me. I've seen pictures of him.

I don't think I've ever been sexually abused, although the idea doesn't offend me. I think some people classify anything other than monogamy as a disorder by default. I'm not sure about the fear of intimacy thing. I'll look into that.

He might not be as big as you , but that dosen't really make a difference. there are lots of equalizers in this world. You might even beat him , but revenge is revenge.

The fact that you are getting pleasure, from the thought of causing someone pain is a little off, you might need to seek professional help.
 
Most people didn't even think about the dynamics and possible pleasure and pain of such a situation, good or bad. I think 30% of the people did. The rest just spewed some nonsense hardcoded in their minds.
 
Mandinka2 said:
Id beat the living shit out of u and tie u up,then stick ice picks in ur knees, pull out all ur teeth and ur tongue with a pliers , then id take out a blowtorch and put it on a real low setting........

Den Id start on her...........she would be sittin just across from u

Damn...were you in Pulp Fiction?
 
plornive said:
I have no problem with fair criticism. Even when someone tells me they would stick ice-picks into my knees and saute me on low heat, I am truly not offended.

But I think people should remember that our feelings and desires are not always aligned with our actions. There are a lot of people who may feel and act the same as me, but act indignant when presented with the idea.

I didn't wake up one day and say that I was going to speciallize in involved chicks. It developed slowly.

Therefore, if the only response you have is one of moral judgement, it will fly right past me.
Dude , with the greatest of respect (none) ur a sick fuck to be gettin ur jollies this way , u need to be able to enjoy fuckin without knowing ur causing another living soul pain.... I honestly don't know if u were abused urself , but I have been cheated on and if I could get away with it , I would really visit the most incredible torture upon ur ass... what's above is only the start. Of course I won't ever get that chance but the point being I'm CERTAIN that what ur doin is healthy neither for urself nor any of the other parties and I suggest u get urself checked out.
 
Mandinka2 said:
Dude , with the greatest of respect (none) ur a sick fuck to be gettin ur jollies this way , u need to be able to enjoy fuckin without knowing ur causing another living soul pain.... I honestly don't know if u were abused urself , but I have been cheated on and if I could get away with it , I would really visit the most incredible torture upon ur ass... what's above is only the start. Of course I won't ever get that chance but the point being I'm CERTAIN that what ur doin is healthy neither for urself nor any of the other parties and I suggest u get urself checked out.
Fair enough. I should expect this type of reaction to my post.

1. I'm sorry to hear of your past personal pain from being cheated on. That being said, people cheat all the time and what you don't know won't hurt you. Long term relationships are usually about keeping your eyes wide shut, like it or not. How many people would you like to torture, and would you only torture the ones who were relatively open about their activities?

2. Define 'healthy'. Is a long-term monogamous relationship 'healthy'? What's better: cheating or divorce? Further, what's worse: Suppression or expression of socially unacceptable but socially pervasive activities? It's up to you.

3. Europe and North America are the only places in the world where marriage is taken to such an extreme ideal that people believe cheating might never happen to them. Long-term relationships usually depend on cheating, from what I have seen. Is that unhealthy? Should we blame certain parties?

To be very honest, I am extremely dissapointed in most of the responses here. I thought people might give me some insight. Instead, I see stick-up-ass, you-don't-understand-my-pain responses left and right. Having said that, there are a few insightful replies, particularly the one about avoiding intimacy.
 
plornive said:
Fair enough. I should expect this type of reaction to my post.

1. I'm sorry to hear of your past personal pain from being cheated on. That being said, people cheat all the time and what you don't know won't hurt you. Long term relationships are usually about keeping your eyes wide shut, like it or not. How many people would you like to torture, and would you only torture the ones who were relatively open about their activities?
OK , Nice easy stuff here , first up people murder , rape and pillage all the time , but we don't accept that. Next u forget that u are not the pnly party here pal ,what affect is YOUR interevention in these people's lives having upon their relationship? The fact is you are assisting this female in cheating on her boyfriend (it would seem that they're living together too from your original post) , cheating being a form of abuse. Not only are u assisting in her doing this but she is also losing any respect for him and more than likely he is losing respect for himself as this woman he probably loves and cares deeply for is moving away from him for reasons he does not know. He is being deceived by BOTH her and you. Plenty of non-trailer park relationships are monogamous i assure you , being quite the fuck machine myself i know many women who admit that they do not have sex to fulfill a burning need , more often than not it is to satiate the male (which is in essence a power thing). That is the VERY NON-PC reason why most older couples end up with very little sex indeed. So having established that both you and her are damaging this innocent party in a most heinous way , I would torture all cheaters and those who are knowing accomplices , and go from one couple to the next gleefully. I have studied a fair bit of psychology in college and statistically men are affected more negatively by a cheating partner than they are by that partner's death , that is to say that u are damaging this innocent party more by fucking his woman than by killing her.

plornive said:
2. Define 'healthy'. Is a long-term monogamous relationship 'healthy'? What's better: cheating or divorce? Further, what's worse: Suppression or expression of socially unacceptable but socially pervasive activities? It's up to you.
Although health is in general a relative term , it is fair to say any kind of sexual relationship that is not monogamous within the great apes of which humans are a part is not healthy , numerous studies back this up. Divorce I would say is better since a prerequisite of healthiness is the knowledge that one is healthy , should a person think that they are healthy but carry a potentially fatal illness then it is quite true to say that the person is healthier when armed with that true information since then they are in a position to do something about it (analogous to the way the body prepares to fight infection through generation of extra anti bodies). The question as to whether cheating is socially pervasive is a funny one , particularly since most people seem to agree that cheating is not a healthy state. Suppression is far healthier I would argue which is why we legislate to impose penalties upon spouses caught cheating (rightly) and society frowns upon the practice. At the very least it is deceitful and worse , u are being deceitful to the very person who you sleep beside every night , most cheaters would be devastated to learn that their spouses/partners are cheating on them but they have no problem visiting their hypocritical damage upon their SO. As Schopenhauer correctly argues "Love is nothing without possession".

plornive said:

3. Europe and North America are the only places in the world where marriage is taken to such an extreme ideal that people believe cheating might never happen to them. Long-term relationships usually depend on cheating, from what I have seen. Is that unhealthy? Should we blame certain parties?
Bullshit , Asia is an example of an extremely monogamous society ,far moreso than the two continents mentioned , there is no landmass outside of Africa I am aware of where monogamy (both within and without marraige) is not the standard.


plornive said:

To be very honest, I am extremely dissapointed in most of the responses here. I thought people might give me some insight. Instead, I see stick-up-ass, you-don't-understand-my-pain responses left and right. Having said that, there are a few insightful replies, particularly the one about avoiding intimacy.
you have no right to be dissappointed at others , you must first turn your perception upon yourself , if the argument that it is not right is not enough to prevent you from continuing in your actions then the knowledge that more than likely this female will go on to have children one day , perhaps with this man , should cause you to ponder further. What kind of person are you helping her to become ? What kind of home will that child have ? Normally people are too selfish to ponder the effects of their actions upon greater society as a whole but you have addressed these issues in your post so you should be able to meet this one head-on.
 
Mandinka2 said:
OK , Nice easy stuff here , first up people murder , rape and pillage all the time , but we don't accept that. Next u forget that u are not the pnly party here pal ,what affect is YOUR interevention in these people's lives having upon their relationship? The fact is you are assisting this female in cheating on her boyfriend (it would seem that they're living together too from your original post) , cheating being a form of abuse. Not only are u assisting in her doing this but she is also losing any respect for him and more than likely he is losing respect for himself as this woman he probably loves and cares deeply for is moving away from him for reasons he does not know. He is being deceived by BOTH her and you. Plenty of non-trailer park relationships are monogamous i assure you , being quite the fuck machine myself i know many women who admit that they do not have sex to fulfill a burning need , more often than not it is to satiate the male (which is in essence a power thing). That is the VERY NON-PC reason why most older couples end up with very little sex indeed. So having established that both you and her are damaging this innocent party in a most heinous way , I would torture all cheaters and those who are knowing accomplices , and go from one couple to the next gleefully. I have studied a fair bit of psychology in college and statistically men are affected more negatively by a cheating partner than they are by that partner's death , that is to say that u are damaging this innocent party more by fucking his woman than by killing her.
I'll ignore the initial rampage about murder that has nothing to do with my point. I'll also ignore the trailer-park reference.

My experience contrasts yours greatly. I don't know about you, but I have experienced and seen situations in which a girl begs a guy for sex. In fact I have experienced this a lot. Wherever the pleasure comes from, women get off on having sex or the process that surrounds it.

I guess my statement that "what you don't know won't hurt you" was out of place. I'm sure you are right that it hurts the man when his woman cheats. If a man and a woman both have a very solid relationship, I can see this point.

Contrastingly, if their relationship is not very strong, then it is par for the course.

Further, it is a fact and relationships are not islands.

Mandinka2 said:
Although health is in general a relative term , it is fair to say any kind of sexual relationship that is not monogamous within the great apes of which humans are a part is not healthy , numerous studies back this up. Divorce I would say is better since a prerequisite of healthiness is the knowledge that one is healthy , should a person think that they are healthy but carry a potentially fatal illness then it is quite true to say that the person is healthier when armed with that true information since then they are in a position to do something about it (analogous to the way the body prepares to fight infection through generation of extra anti bodies). The question as to whether cheating is socially pervasive is a funny one , particularly since most people seem to agree that cheating is not a healthy state. Suppression is far healthier I would argue which is why we legislate to impose penalties upon spouses caught cheating (rightly) and society frowns upon the practice. At the very least it is deceitful and worse , u are being deceitful to the very person who you sleep beside every night , most cheaters would be devastated to learn that their spouses/partners are cheating on them but they have no problem visiting their hypocritical damage upon their SO. As Schopenhauer correctly argues "Love is nothing without possession".
I don't really have much to contest. Health is a relative term. I can see where we disagree on this.

Mandinka2 said:
Bullshit , Asia is an example of an extremely monogamous society ,far moreso than the two continents mentioned , there is no landmass outside of Africa I am aware of where monogamy (both within and without marraige) is not the standard.
You missed my point.

Asia as a whole is an example of a group of societies that permits cheating for the purpose of sustaining emotionless or sometimess loving marriages. Cheating is accepted for men, and allowed for women

Mandinka2 said:
you have no right to be dissappointed at others , you must first turn your perception upon yourself , if the argument that it is not right is not enough to prevent you from continuing in your actions then the knowledge that more than likely this female will go on to have children one day , perhaps with this man , should cause you to ponder further. What kind of person are you helping her to become ? What kind of home will that child have ? Normally people are too selfish to ponder the effects of their actions upon greater society as a whole but you have addressed these issues in your post so you should be able to meet this one head-on.
If I read my post, my first impulse would not be to morally judge the actions of the poster.

I am dissapointed that people are so brainwashed. Marriage, although worthy of praise, is very dogmatic. I am tired of arguments in which it is assumed, a priori, that these values you purport are universally correct.
 
Actually thinking about the correct form of torture on my way here I realised something , slow punishment would be much much worse and more just.. since that is the way od heartache. So a much better solution requiring much less planning would be for the cheater to have their spinal cord damaged (bullet to midpoint of spine is pretty sufficient) , that way they will know how helpless their partner felt when they were fucking them over when they can't feel their own bowels when they have to take a shit.
For the willing accomplice , a simple dousing of the head in acid should ensure that the gidnity they robbed the injured party of would also be taken from the- - they would never know the glaze of lust form another person which led to the deceitful encounter in the first place.
Most importantly of all , neither party would no longer appeal to the opposite sex , they would truly have reaped the rich harvest that they willingly sowed.
















































Maybe I'll run fer Pres.............
 
Mandinka2 said:
Actually thinking about the correct form of torture on my way here I realised something , slow punishment would be much much worse and more just.. since that is the way od heartache. So a much better solution requiring much less planning would be for the cheater to have their spinal cord damaged (bullet to midpoint of spine is pretty sufficient) , that way they will know how helpless their partner felt when they were fucking them over when they can't feel their own bowels when they have to take a shit.
For the willing accomplice , a simple dousing of the head in acid should ensure that the gidnity they robbed the injured party of would also be taken from the- - they would never know the glaze of lust form another person which led to the deceitful encounter in the first place.
Most importantly of all , neither party would no longer appeal to the opposite sex , they would truly have reaped the rich harvest that they willingly sowed.
You seem unable to see things with a different set of values from your own. In this respect, you are hopeless and bitter.

I hope you find peace.
 
plornive said:
You seem unable to see things with a different set of values from your own. In this respect, you are hopeless and bitter.

I hope you find peace.
Eh... on the contrary , I thought of pure justice when I wrote that , don't wish me peace mother fucker because from what u are doing to another innocent brother , ur wishes of peace mean fuck all.
 
plornive said:
I'll ignore the initial rampage about murder that has nothing to do with my point. I'll also ignore the trailer-park reference.
Why for goodness sake , they are not rampages ,they are perfectly logical concepts. There certainly was no hate or even emotion in them , prerequisites for a "rampage"

plornive said:

I guess my statement that "what you don't know won't hurt you" was out of place. I'm sure you are right that it hurts the man when his woman cheats. If a man and a woman both have a very solid relationship, I can see this point.
Ah but there is the point , was the relationship healthy before or after you slept with her ? All couples are exposed to temptation on both sides, by you putting your ass in the way , did you not knowingly contribute to the worsening and hence the paucity of its health?

plornive said:
Contrastingly, if their relationship is not very strong, then it is par for the course.
Explain please , "par for the course" ???? How exactly does that work?
plornive said:
I am dissapointed that people are so brainwashed. Marriage, although worthy of praise, is very dogmatic. I am tired of arguments in which it is assumed, a priori, that these values you purport are universally correct. [/B]
Arguments ? These are not simply arguments , where did u think society originated from , we were not all simply designed to be little Englishmen pal , there were good strong reasons why the set of modern values were instilled in us , and the empirical (that is to say not contrived as per "environment" but natural) evidence that they are righteous is there. Marraige is little more than an expression of a legal right within the boundaries of a "long-term" sexual relationship , I notice you did not bother to deal with the societal aspect of the damage you are doing to your partner .
 
Mandinka2 said:
Why for goodness sake , they are not rampages ,they are perfectly logical concepts. There certainly was no hate or even emotion in them , prerequisites for a "rampage"
I'm not sure why you are taking issue with this, but here's why I called them rampages: It somehow seems like you just quickly blurted the initial comparison to murder in order to "win" the argument. However, the point you quoted above your statement was not about whether we should seek justice for cheating. I was basically saying that cheating is an unchangeable part of society and also sometimes necessary, regardless of whether we take action against it.

Mandinka2 said:
Ah but there is the point , was the relationship healthy before or after you slept with her ? All couples are exposed to temptation on both sides, by you putting your ass in the way , did you not knowingly contribute to the worsening and hence the paucity of its health?
You are right. We assign causation discretely for practicality, but in reality we affect each other in many direct and indirect ways. You will have to go further with this, however.


Mandinka2 said:
Explain please , "par for the course" ???? How exactly does that work?
In some situations, cheating is the only way a relationship will continue. Do you agree that this is true for a shaky relationship?

Mandinka2 said:
Arguments ? These are not simply arguments , where did u think society originated from , we were not all simply designed to be little Englishmen pal , there were good strong reasons why the set of modern values were instilled in us , and the empirical (that is to say not contrived as per "environment" but natural) evidence that they are righteous is there. Marraige is little more than an expression of a legal right within the boundaries of a "long-term" sexual relationship , I notice you did not bother to deal with the societal aspect of the damage you are doing to your partner .
Values serve their purpose even while their supporters stray. They are, in part, fabricated by confidence and (dare I say) faith. Strong belief in marriage serves it's purpose even when people cheat.

If it is your choice to believe these values are absolutely correct, more power to you.
 
One more point:

The current girl I am reaming relentlessly will not leave her boyfriend. She says that he is a good guy and will make a good husband (that just makes ya want to have a monogamous relationship, eh?). I am probably sustaining their relationship. Good or bad? You decide.
 
plornive said:
I'm not sure why you are taking issue with this, but here's why I called them rampages: It somehow seems like you just quickly blurted the initial comparison to murder in order to "win" the argument. However, the point you quoted above your statement was not about whether we should seek justice for cheating. I was basically saying that cheating is an unchangeable part of society and also sometimes necessary, regardless of whether we take action against it.
Sorry , in that case the word "rampage" is ill chosen , there is no winning here , I seek merely to help you see that you might be causing damage to at least one other person and to re-evaluate your actions in the light of that knowledge. I do not see how cheating is "unchangeable" , it is as "unchangeable" as other facets of human behaviour , murder and incest being other facets. But the fact that it exists odes not mean that it should be accepted. Also you frequently mention that it is "neccessary" , neccessary for what and to whom I wonder ? I can think of no single instance where cheating is "neccessary". But perhaps you can postulate many , I'd be glad to hear of them.

plornive said:

You are right. We assign causation discretely for practicality, but in reality we affect each other in many direct and indirect ways. You will have to go further with this, however.
I would say that u are not attributing causation for practicality , but rather to avoid the moral issue that you are damaging someone else. As I mentioned earlier , u are neccessarily bringing suffering upon at least another person , regardless as to whether the person is aware of the source of that suffering.

plornive said:
In some situations, cheating is the only way a relationship will continue. Do you agree that this is true for a shaky relationship?
No I don't , of course it may appeal to a selfish and ultimately destructive individual to have more than one person at their behest , it is without doubt exciting , people are selfish , that is the nature of the animal , however when that selfishness spills over into interfering in another individual's happiness then we have issues. To put it in an objective fashion , is the utility caused by you and her greater satisfaction equal or greater to the pain and damage caused by the above. TRust me when I tell you from the very deepest recesses of my being as a person (I have been on both sides) as well as from social observations - and there are numerous examples on this board that this is not the case. U are sending another poor bastard to hell , someone who has done you no harm at all.

plornive said:
Values serve their purpose even while their supporters stray. They are, in part, fabricated by confidence and (dare I say) faith. Strong belief in marriage serves it's purpose even when people cheat.[/B]
This is entirely confusing when you do not offer at least anecdotal evidence , their purpose is to stop individuals straying , therefore de facto failure is reached when they stray! Fabricated by confidence ? How ? By faith , I presume you mean religious faith , but even there so called undeveloped societies and religions practice polygamy , BUT ALL THE WHILE IN AN OPEN AND HONEST FASHION i.e. without betrayal.

plornive said:
If it is your choice to believe these values are absolutely correct, more power to you. [/B]
I do not believe in choice as a matter of fact (or at least not in the sense that you imply) , I believe in consistentcy and apply that to every facet of my life. Initially consistentcy began as a choice but once that was made , all other things became apparent from logic.
 
plornive said:
One more point:

The current girl I am reaming relentlessly will not leave her boyfriend. She says that he is a good guy and will make a good husband (that just makes ya want to have a monogamous relationship, eh?). I am probably sustaining their relationship. Good or bad? You decide.
No , it is far worse than that , this other person also deserves to live and breathe , he is shackled to this woman and she obviously has designs on him. She and you are defrauding him (trust , love , honesty , sincerity) there exists at the very basic level a deceit , it is your decision and sadly not mine as to whether you wish to prolong this grotesquerie , personally , im all for the anonymous note scenario here , at least then you will shorten his misery. Why is it I wonder that you feel that she wishes to marry this person ? Do you not think that he deserves to find out rather than continue for the next umpteen years like that..... they say that mercy is the mark of a great leader.
 
Mandinka2 said:
Sorry , in that case the word "rampage" is ill chosen , there is no winning here , I seek merely to help you see that you might be causing damage to at least one other person and to re-evaluate your actions in the light of that knowledge. I do not see how cheating is "unchangeable" , it is as "unchangeable" as other facets of human behaviour , murder and incest being other facets. But the fact that it exists odes not mean that it should be accepted. Also you frequently mention that it is "neccessary" , neccessary for what and to whom I wonder ? I can think of no single instance where cheating is "neccessary". But perhaps you can postulate many , I'd be glad to hear of them.
Something is necessary if it must exist. If something is pervasive, it definitely exists. Therefore it is necessary.

I thank you for enlightening me. I am not being sarcastic, because you have shown me a few things I didn't see.

Mandinka2 said:
I would say that u are not attributing causation for practicality , but rather to avoid the moral issue that you are damaging someone else. As I mentioned earlier , u are neccessarily bringing suffering upon at least another person , regardless as to whether the person is aware of the source of that suffering.
Like I said, you have a hard time seeing things with another set of values. I know I am bringing suffering upon this person. Should I not hit on a woman I find attractive because I would indirectly hurt her lover? What about my desires?

Mandinka2 said:
No I don't , of course it may appeal to a selfish and ultimately destructive individual to have more than one person at their behest , it is without doubt exciting , people are selfish , that is the nature of the animal , however when that selfishness spills over into interfering in another individual's happiness then we have issues. To put it in an objective fashion , is the utility caused by you and her greater satisfaction equal or greater to the pain and damage caused by the above. TRust me when I tell you from the very deepest recesses of my being as a person (I have been on both sides) as well as from social observations - and there are numerous examples on this board that this is not the case. U are sending another poor bastard to hell , someone who has done you no harm at all.
Society can and should not be changed. If everyone knew the truth, society would crumble. Here I am, so what am I supposed to do? I don't really care about this guy, but to address his misery, it is his responsibility to protect his worth.

Informing him of his situation would be a total turn-off for me and his chick. Nuh uh....

Mandinka2 said:
This is entirely confusing when you do not offer at least anecdotal evidence , their purpose is to stop individuals straying , therefore de facto failure is reached when they stray! Fabricated by confidence ? How ? By faith , I presume you mean religious faith , but even there so called undeveloped societies and religions practice polygamy , BUT ALL THE WHILE IN AN OPEN AND HONEST FASHION i.e. without betrayal.
I reallize you may think I am avoiding the issue, but I hold that morals are not universally true. They are dogmas, ideologies and faiths the overall serve their purpose even when some people stray. There has never been a time in history when people did not cheat on their lovers. Yet, the ideals of monogamy cause many people to stay monogamous. See in this context, morals are tools of society. I see no reason to believe they are absolutes or universals, although it serves a purpose for some people to see them as such.


Mandinka2 said:
I do not believe in choice as a matter of fact (or at least not in the sense that you imply) , I believe in consistentcy and apply that to every facet of my life. Initially consistentcy began as a choice but once that was made , all other things became apparent from logic.
Then it must cause you pain that your reality is not consistent with your morals.
 
Mandinka2 said:

No , it is far worse than that , this other person also deserves to live and breathe , he is shackled to this woman and she obviously has designs on him. She and you are defrauding him (trust , love , honesty , sincerity) there exists at the very basic level a deceit , it is your decision and sadly not mine as to whether you wish to prolong this grotesquerie , personally , im all for the anonymous note scenario here , at least then you will shorten his misery. Why is it I wonder that you feel that she wishes to marry this person ? Do you not think that he deserves to find out rather than continue for the next umpteen years like that..... they say that mercy is the mark of a great leader.
I see where you are coming from, but in my view this is hopeless.

I could probably fuck his girl right in front of him and he would eventually fall into the same pattern as he is in now. You can't just enlighten people by showing them the truth. You must beat it into them if anything.
 
plornive said:
Something is necessary if it must exist. If something is pervasive, it definitely exists. Therefore it is necessary.

I thank you for enlightening me. I am not being sarcastic, because you have shown me a few things I didn't see.
OK , I'll just have time to deal with this , cos its late and I've things to do still. "Something is neccessary if it must exist" , hmmmm , nope , something is neccessary if there is a NEED for it to exist. That ain't logical man. I NEED to bone the chic is different from saying I MUST bone this chic. One more example, spiders are pervasive (I could quote you an intersting stat that there are 6 million spiders in Ireland per hectare of land) , but because they are pervasive and they exist does not mean either that they NEED to or MUST exist.
I did not seek to enlighten you although I am flattered , I only hope that you see the value of another person's sadness and begin to realise that you might just be condemning someone...
 
I think morphing this thread into a debate regarding absolutes and referencing cultural differences as a rational to do what you do, is a mistake.

We are all products of our ancestry and environment and our reactions (or inability to consider alternate reactions in your opinion) do not need to be defended. The bottom line is that what you are doing is wrong and hurtful. No degree of rationalization on your part has any affect on the pain felt by the cheated boyfriend.

If this is hard to understand, then consider that there must be things/relationships in your own life that you value very much. Perhaps the relationships you have with friends or family are things that are very important to you. What if one of those relationships was taken from you. What if someone killed a family member of yours, as an extremem example. Would their rational of their actions provide you with any comfort? Would your rage and anger be dimished if they told you that you were just being narrow minded in your consideration of the situation and that in some societies, the death of a family member is celebrated as a great passing?

Empathy, the act of understanding and feeling another person's emotions can be difficult, and you are rationalizing your way out of that with Junior College Psychobabble.

To put it more basically, if you fucked my girl it would be hard to spout these ratonalizations with a crow bar sticking out of the side of your head.
 
Snarf said:
I think morphing this thread into a debate regarding absolutes and referencing cultural differences as a rational to do what you do, is a mistake.

We are all products of our ancestry and environment and our reactions (or inability to consider alternate reactions in your opinion) do not need to be defended. The bottom line is that what you are doing is wrong and hurtful. No degree of rationalization on your part has any affect on the pain felt by the cheated boyfriend.

If this is hard to understand, then consider that there must be things/relationships in your own life that you value very much. Perhaps the relationships you have with friends or family are things that are very important to you. What if one of those relationships was taken from you. What if someone killed a family member of yours, as an extremem example. Would their rational of their actions provide you with any comfort? Would your rage and anger be dimished if they told you that you were just being narrow minded in your consideration of the situation and that in some societies, the death of a family member is celebrated as a great passing?

Empathy, the act of understanding and feeling another person's emotions can be difficult, and you are rationalizing your way out of that with Junior College Psychobabble.

To put it more basically, if you fucked my girl it would be hard to spout these ratonalizations with a crow bar sticking out of the side of your head.
Dude.

Honestly, if I met your girl, I'm sure nothing like that would happen for a multitude of reasons. When someone has a strong relationship it is evident. When someone is trustworthy it is evident.

I just talked with this girl, and she indicated that her boyfriend pays for everything. Lunch, every day. All of their food. All of their belongings. Yes that kind of disgusts me. I am actually thinking of taking her for a ride and scaring the shit out of her.

And honestly, I can't think of any relationship, that if tarnished or removed, would hurt me dearly (aside from business relationships). But I understand that I am probably hurting this guy. I'm not ignorant of that fact.

Maybe this guy should examine his relationship. He is allowing this to happen. He is not demanding his rights. He may be getting what is coming to him, good or bad. Sadly, I doubt he will change and I doubt that anything will prevent whatever woman he is with from cheating on him (this is not a justification).

Further, I DON'T think it is obvious that when someone reads this post they should immediately blame me. Sure, I am hurting this guy. So what. What's significant is that I am trying to examine it.

Peace.
 
The boyfriend my in fact 'deserve' a lot of things and maybe if the girl was in a bad/abusive relationship and you truly cared for her well-being, I could see you would temporarily end up in this type of situation. But that is not what is going on here.

I am sorry to hear that you do not have any relationships in your life important enough that if they were removed it would be hurtful to you. Maybe this is part of the problem? Without the presence of this type of relationship in your own life, I think it would be difficult to empathize with the cheated boyfriends. I won't pretend to have the insight to diagnose or evaluate that scenario, but I do know that it is not healthy to describe your life in a way where you have no relationships inthat you truly value beyond business relationships.

The only other thing I would ask you is how long do you think this will remain satisfying/fun? Not sure how old you are now, but do you think in ten years of this behavior that you will be happy looking back at a trail of deceit and hurt feelings with nothing to show for it? Who will the the real loser at that point? Likely the relationships you affected will be healed or long gone by that time and the participants will hopefully have found/developed loving and trusting relationships. What will you have?
 
plornive said:
In an actually very serious relationship, I think it's much less likely to go down like that. About men and women handling that situation differently, I don't think gender is the paramount factor. Maybe women are slightly less likely to handle it that way. It's mostly individual I think. Women are better at hiding it, though, which is a good thing.

women are also more likely to tell on there self , to get rid of the guilt. you never know which woman it will be .
There is also women out there that try to get in a relationship just to see there husband get mad and go after there lover.

Just my thoughts on the subject !!
 
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