Even if you accept Pinker's ideas of parenting effect (or lack of it) on development he doesn't suggest you should take a "screw the kid" if I can't change the outcome attitude.
You should love and care for her. You want to develop a lifelong respectful relationship.
Right. I agree that kids are not born blank slates, each one has it's own set of personality traits. I just reject his idea that parenting, parenting styles and the family relationship or the close intimate contacts of the child has no effect on who the child becomes. I reject that entirely. lol My experience conflicts with that. It's not reality.