Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
UGL OZ
UGFREAK
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsUGL OZUGFREAK

What to tell a woman about your sexual history??? Help me out here ladies.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Deleted member 33117
  • Start date Start date
D

Deleted member 33117

Guest
I'm starting to see a new girl, and while this hasn't come up yet... what do I say if she asks me how many girls I've been with? After talking to a friend of mine who has known me for 8 years on the phone, he said "Dude, you had bettery lie you ass off." I told him I would say something really conservative like 17 or 18, and he said, "Holy shit Jason! She will have no respect for you if you name something in double digits. Say 9." The thing is, I'm a very honest person naturally, and really do not want to be anything less than totally honest with someone I get involved with. She has told me some things from her past, and even said she would understand if I never talk to her again, but I told her it didn't both me. For example, she is clean now but had a problem with poping E, and is currently at the end of her probation for possessing weed. Plus she has been pretty wild overall (she told me a few more things.) What should I do? Ladies, I mean what would you think if a guy told you he had been with ALOT of women, but had never cheating on a girl he was involved with, even when offers were made. Would you be worried about him cheating on you, or think that he doesn't assosiate love and sex? Should I be honest, or lie so that I have a chance? This is a major moral dilema.
 
This is deinately always a hard topic. In my situation, I pressed in the begining of the relationship to know everything. And sometimes I feel I wish I hadn't. I can't blame them for what they have done only expect it not to happen presently or in the future. I told everything when first getting into the relationship and it really didn't seem like a big deal until much later in the relationship
 
This is deinately always a hard topic. In my situation, I pressed in the begining of the relationship to know everything. And sometimes I feel I wish I hadn't. I can't blame them for what they have done only expect it not to happen presently or in the future. I told everything when first getting into the relationship and it really didn't seem like a big deal until much later in the relationship. Maybe it is because a period of time had passed where the they were now jealous of hearing a story, being reminded of some tale, or even running into a person.

In your situation, I do not feel it is necc. to give every detail or every number. From what you say about some of her "wild" times, she probably has a few things she might not feel comfortable saying. And theres always the ones that none of us remember. I would just play it cool and say a believable amount. Depending on how old you are 8 or 9 really does not seem high enough.
:jarswim: (dont know the point for this smilie but i liked it!! LOL
 
SC, the thing is she has just been so open and honest with me about alot of things. I just know she is going to ask me. We talked last night for 3 hours on the phone, and she wants me to call her back again to night as soon as I get home from class. Anyway, at she isn't in town at the moment, she is trying to get moved here now to attend school in the spring. Once she gets moved here and we are spending alot more time together though, something tells me this will come up. My last girlfriend never asked, because we were friends with benefits for a year before we started dating. I told her as soon a we started dating that I was cutting loose my other such friends, and the topic just never came up. She knew I had been a player for some time, and so had she. This one has already asked me alot of very personal questions about my history and views on alot of things. Honestly, I'm surprised it hasn't come up during those conversations.
 
I don't know.. 8 or 9 is way to low. The 17 or 18 sounds much more plausible. You definately can't say the 45 because that will rock her too much. I would just wait to see whats up with her. From what you say shes very open and very cool about things. From people I have known the more open they are and the more willing they are to discuss the less it will really matter. And you never know, she might tell you she's been with like 45 guys!
 
Right, she will know 8 or 9 isn't high enough. We've talked about the fact that I'm fairly active when single, and that the girls here (its a college town) often offer to take you back to their place in the middle of a conversation at a bar or club. She'll know I'm lying if I say 9. I was thinking maybe 17 or 18 would be believable, but my bro says that's too high. Honestly I lost count, but it at least 45, maybe 50.
 
I think anything under 20 is reasonable and shouldn't make you look to bad. Hell when I was 19 I had been with 23 and I would always lie and say 9-13 and never had a problem. At the time all my friends would tell me to lie and say 3-4 considering it was high school.
Most girls respect truthfullness, but would honestly prefer you lie in a situation like that. I know I wouldn't want some girl to come out and tell me she has been with 30+ guys. I would rather be lied to.

Juice21
 
I would try to be as honest as possible. She might not even ask for a number. Just make sure she knows that you have always been careful and have been checked in the past for AIDS. If she can't handle the truth what will she be able to handle in the future. 18 or so is really no that much considering you are in college and live on your own. Just be as honest as you think you can be without freaking her out
 
Ok this is a veryyy hard subject...When my boyfriend and I started talking..when we first did...i asked him alot of questions about his past....he didnt like to tell me but i wanted to know!!!! Now, if something slips out or if he tells me something...i get way upset...it really bothers me....I think its because i love him more now. I dont like to think of him having sex with anyone. I dont hold it against him..it jsut really bothers me.....REALLY bothers me......my suggestion is to get the basics out of the way.and go from there.because someday it wlll come back to haunt you and if you guys are serious, it could hurt you or her or both of you.
 
tell her the exact number of who uve been with. Dont lie now.cuz someday....youll forget the exact number you told her....but beleive me..she wont....tell her the truth and if she cant handle it...then it wasnt meant to be.
 
Gymgurl brings up a good point. If people are shady in relationships about the number of people or what actually happened with those people, the who knows how honest they might about STD/HIV history or testing history. 1/3 of people with HIV have never been tested!
 
Sometimes honesty is not the best way to go regardless of your "honest" predisposition. I would sort of feel out the situation, find out how many people she has been with first and how she responds to people who have high numbers in general. If her number is close to yours (which could be possible considering how "wild" she is/was) then fuck it tell her the truth. If she seems cool with double/triple digits refer to the latter as well. However if you detect some analness, sorry bud your gonna have to lie. As Klueless posted, some women simply can't handle the truth and can't seem to let it fuckin go.
 
I know you asked the ladies for their reply, but I felt it appropriate to give my 2cc's.

Honesty Is The Best Policy, and Bro, we live in Texas...if she doesn't like it we CAN find others.
 
This is always a hard one. I've usually tried to be (fairly) honest when a new girlfriend or girlfriend-to-be has asked me this. But before I answer I always counter with a question or two - Why do you want to know? and Will you tell me how many men you have been with?

As you say, not all girls ask. I don't ask them, either, unless they ask me. (Good advice from the court lawyer who said, 'Never ask a question unless you have a good idea what the answer's going to be AND you know that you want to hear that answer'.)

If I were you, I definitely wouldn't say 9. Depending on your age, it sounds low and it also does sound as if you are deliberately trying to keep it to single figures (on the same sort of basis that goods going for $9.95 or $9.99 somehow sound less expensive than they would if the price was $10.00).

Whether you think that 20 or 30 or some such number will sound 'better' than 45, well that's up to you. I suspect that it won't. I think the best thing is to be truthful - after all, a lie is bad basis to start a relationship on. I agree that far more important than 'numbers' is whether you've been faithful while you've been in a relationship that is supposed to be monogamous. You say you have, and I think that's what you should be emphasizing to her. Anyway, from what you say it doesn't sound as if she lets the grass grow under her feet, so you have a good chance that she won't be too bothered. If she is bothered, well maybe she's not the right person for you.

Whatever you decide to do, best of luck!
 
Gymgurl, yeah but the 18 would be a lie. LoL Its over twice that. Or are you just saying she would believe 18?

Well, the men I've been with = zero. I don't think she would mind honesty on that one.

Christopher X, she is fairly young (20), but she has already told me she had sex with several guys her freshmen year in high school, so her numbers might be fairly high.

I'll have to put some thought into this. Hopefully she doesn't ask tonight. LoL I don't know what I would say yet.
 
I know how many girls you've been in, as you have told me before.

I would more than likely not date someone who has been with as many partners as you have. However, if a guy was completely honest when telling me his high number of sexual partners, I would take his honesty into consideration. So, if the guy and I got along well, shared a lot of common interests, etc, and the only thing that bothered me was his high number of sexual partners I would consider dating him. His honesty would certainly say a lot about him as a person. People always change. You may have slept around in your younger years and no longer do that.

I feel you should be honest with her, if worse comes to worse she may not ever talk to you again. However, you would feel better knowing that you are starting off a possible new relationship without any lies. If you were to lie to her and later come across something else from your past that she may not like or you think she may not like will you need to lie to her in order to keep her interested? Just tell her the truth. Explain to her that you have never cheated on any of your past girlfriends, etc.

You should be okay. You never know this girl may have surpassed you in sexual partners. Which at 20 would be amazing. ;)

Good luck, BBF! :kiss:
 
Funny , I've only been with 9, honestly and live alone and am 28. Be sincere, u dont have that , u got nuthin , I dont believe people change tho. I believe if u've been busy then u cant expect ur partners not to have been so I guess that u guys seem matched from the freshman year performance... its not for me but good luck with it.
P.S. Quit bonin married women willya!?
 
If you can't have a relationship based on complete honesty, then it's not really worth having.

Lie to her and have a fling if you must, but if you view her as a keeper, tell her the truth...
 
I think she'll be fine with the truth. She is only going to care about diseases and you should be honest about that too. She's a little spicy herself so she will be fine I'm sure.
 
Right, most of the people have had said to be honest, and since she has told me alot of things about her that she was worried might be a problem, and I told her they wouldn't be, hopefully she will feel the same way. Personally, I'm a pretty straightforward person, and feel better when I'm honest with others. If the topic comes up, I think I'll just tell her. HOwever if she doesn't ask, then I'm not going to volunteer the information. She knows that I've been very sexually active in the past already.

Nvr, she already knows about me not being a cheater. The subject is something that already came up in conversation. She knows my view on cheating, the same one I chatted with you about in depth some time back. She didn't completely agree. She says she believes its possible for couples to work things out if one cheats.

Thanks for the advice everyone.
 
Its always a lose lose situation for me. I am very good looking, so its always assumed I get alot of play. Its not true though. So when this topic comes up, and I try to avoid, or change subject, they always go crazy and assume shit.

I cant tell em that I've only been with a few, they wont believe. Too many and im a player. So I tell em im a virgin, its funny and gets em off my back temporarily.

A few generally is the safe answer. I wont give a definite answer though.
 
Well, this isn't going to be an issue, we had a chat about it today. We've both been with alot, no numbers were given, but we agreed that the other having had lots of partners was not an issue. She actually seemed more worried that her sexual history would bother me. So that settles that. Thanks for the advice guys.
 
Hey Bro

I dont think this should even be brought up. As long as you dont pass a disease on to her then its no one's business but your own.
 
It hasn't come up so far, and I think everything is cool. I appreaciate all the input from everyone. Anyway, we had a really nice date this afternoon. I'm going to try to hold onto this one. I really like her.
 
I completely agree with nvrbuffenuff_girl. Honesty is always best, because you could make a go with this girl, and something, like the truth, could come up in the future. My ex lied to me and when I found out I was disgusted, more so, crushed. I know its not easy, but my numbers are low I would like my mans to be too. Sex scares the shit out of me with the way todays world is. Too many dirty dicks, and slutty girls.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

X
how best to make sushi
Replies
8
Views
988
wootoom
wootoom
S
is there a healthy chip?
Replies
18
Views
2K
RoySimpson
RoySimpson
Dr_Strangelove
Approved Log TRT Training and Lifestyle Journal
Replies
16
Views
677
the_alcatraz
the_alcatraz
N
best bread options
Replies
21
Views
3K
Noah Wixx
Noah Wixx
4
FAKE Pfizer Genotropin Napsgear
Replies
16
Views
2K
jasonhill800
jasonhill800
Top Bottom