Top 10 things to do while having sex

[distanced]

you know, like playing video games, watch the news, count insects on the ceiling...please continue for me

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

think of other women.

 

[gonelifting]

think of how I`m going to pay for it.

 

[distanced]

lolol

 

[2Thick]

1. Trying to figure out how to slip off the condom without letting her know.

2. Wondering what that smell is

3. Watching yourself in the mirror

4. Wondering why you wasted so much time and money getting a girl into bed when you lose your hard-on in the middle due to a lack of interest

 

[C. Montgomery Burns]

Trying to block out the fact that my right hand is not a homo sapien.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

2Thick, watching myself in the mirror rocks! #4 doesn't happen when on test, so maybe during post-cycle?

Guys, come on, don't do silly things like think about other stuff. It means you won't be concentrating on what you are doing, and though you think you're fooling her, you aren't. She knows you're not doing a very good job at that point.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Trying to block out the fact that my right hand is not a homo sapien.

Bro, I think he ment having sex with someone else. What you are doing is called masterbation, not sex. I know some of us get the two confused sometimes, so its ok.

 

[sermon_of_mockery]

3. Watching yourself in the mirror

american psycho style,while kissing your bicep.

 

[revexrevex]

american psycho style,while kissing your bicep.

I actually did that.

 

[The Red Dragon]

That's disturbing

 

[revexrevex]

I know, i hope she didnt see me

 

[DownUnder23]

think of how I`m going to pay for it.

lmao

 

[bigschweeler]

Look at the clock and chart your longevity.

 

[spin721]

6. Think about how wearing a condom during sex is the same as wearing a balloon on your tongue while eating a steak.

7. You hope the girl is as good looking when you are sober.

8. You decide it would have been better to turn off the lights.

 

[sk*]

3. Watching yourself in the mirror

I love this one!

Also,

Taking a puff from a joint.

Sipping on some alcohol.

Watching TV.

-sk

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Look at the clock and chart your longevity.

Come on, if you don't she will. I've had several women admit that they watch the clock to time a guy.

 

[bigschweeler]

Come on, if you don't she will. I've had several women admit that they watch the clock to time a guy.

Hey it keeps me focused...what can I say?

If I'm getting ready to blow my wad, all i have to do is look over at the clock, call myself a pathetic mark, and I'm back in the game.

 

[OrangeJuice]

Thinking about how long gonelifiting is gonna take to pay me back my $40. (im a failry cheap man-whore)

 

[revexrevex]

take a protein shake while on bottom to enshur there is zero muscle loss!

welcome to the boards bro, you already have my respect.

 

[DisCreeT]

take a protein shake while on bottom to enshur there is zero muscle loss!

 

[revexrevex]

 

[DisCreeT]

welcome to the boards bro, you already have my respect.

while doing a cardio event like this u gotta make shur just encase, i mean the muscle is the reason ur gettin the sex anyway? right? lol

 

[sk*]

while doing a cardio event like this u gotta make shur just encase, i mean the muscle is the reason ur gettin the sex anyway? right? lol

Uhhhh, no, not really. LOL

That's just me though.

-sk

 

[DisCreeT]

im shur it helps to influence, i mean u may get it cuz ur in a relationship, but me kind of one night stands, i give credit mostly to the muscle, lol, oh and of course my stunning good looks

 

[argent]

TRy not to have a ass, ham, or calve cramp.

 

[gonelifting]

Come on, if you don't she will. I've had several women admit that they watch the clock to time a guy.

Hey I got those "gadget" clocks that go 3 minutes for every minute that goes by. So If I last 20 minutes, the chick thinks an hour went by.

It`s great.

and Makes a wonderful Christmas gift.

 

[Burning_Inside]

find a reason to fart on her face

 

[Paulos]

1. Hope she doesn't tell our mom.
2. Wonder where I'm going to hide the body.
3. Wish she was still alive because cold skin sucks

 

[supersizeme]

Beat the back of her head with my rubber bat while I honk my big red nose. Then give the fake, squirting flower a couple of pumps so she thinks I came, and then when she turns her head around I cum in her eye. <-- "Fish Eye"

 

[Naeem]

Lol argent im with you there.. I get massive ham cramps, so doggy and shit is dangerous for me heh, dont really know why, but when it hits, FUCK it hits hard and ill be in pain for hours.

 

[ajtomasi]

think of other women.

Best Response Ever!

 

[Robert Jan]

Pull out just before you cum, quirt on her, toss some change on her and LEAVE with a completely straight face.

*SPARE CHANGED*

 

[Deleted member 33117]

TRy not to have a ass, ham, or calve cramp.

THANK YOU! OMG, all this time I've thought I'm the only guy who has unbearable hamstring craps sometimes if I have sex within 24 hours of finishing a leg workout. Its kind of funny though because one time a girl thought I was cumming when I had the cramp... until I was like... "Damnit! My hamstring is cramping...fuck! help me straighten my leg back out!"

 

[casavant]

6. Think about how wearing a condom during sex is the same as wearing a balloon on your tongue while eating a steak.

Yep. That's the #1 thing I do.

Good analogy.

 

[I.B. Orpheus]

10.sweat
9.grunt
8.grab a hand full and squeez
7.suck her nips
6.flick the clit
5.ask her how much she likes it.
4.ask her "Whos the man!"
3.stick a finger in her poop shoot
2.doggy stile in front of the mirror
1. MONEY SHOT!