Tips on being "approachable"?

[McFakerton]

I'd have to say that the biggest thing that I struggle with is that I (I imagine) come across as an asshole. Overall I'm really a nice, friendly person, but I do enjoy harrassing/being harrassed. If I meet someone that can dish some back, it's fantastic. However, I think that the majority of people just think I'm being an ass all the time.

So, how do I seem friendly while still being myself?

 

[boxerjake]

Body language plays a big role and laughing at yourself puts others at ease ... true assholes think the world revolves around them . Just show others your truely intrested in what they have to say

 

[mustang_00]

chloroform helps too!

 

[KillahBee]

chloroform helps too!

lolololol

Yes, body language is a HUGE part, probably the biggest if you are talking about being in a crowded room with strangers. All non-verbal communication is important. Think about who you would want to approach - someone who is having fun, smiling, talking with lots of people, etc. Girls LOVE the idea of fun. They walk into a room and notice the guys that are leading groups (through discussion, story telling, whatever) and having fun. Don't take yourself too seriously either.

 

[megamania500]

I'd have to say that the biggest thing that I struggle with is that I (I imagine) come across as an asshole. Overall I'm really a nice, friendly person, but I do enjoy harrassing/being harrassed. If I meet someone that can dish some back, it's fantastic. However, I think that the majority of people just think I'm being an ass all the time.

So, how do I seem friendly while still being myself?

There isn't anything wrong with harrassing as long as you can keep it humorous. If you can harass a girl and make her laugh in a way that she wants to playfully punch you in the arm, your doing ok. Its going over the line and harassing someone in a way that makes them pissed at you that will make you look like an asshole.
Remember, men and women are different. For men, its a woman's physical looks that attract us to her . For women, its the way you make a woman FEEL that makes her attracted to you (This kinda explains why you may sometimes see a beautiful woman with a homely dude, but hardly ever a handsome man with an ugly woman). If you can make her laugh, but NOT kiss her ass or put her on a pedestal she will enjoy being around you. Putting a woman on a pedestal will kill any attraction she might potentially have for you. This is known as being a "nice guy" - kiss of death. And harrassing, in a playful and humorous way, will be seen from a woman as the opposite as putting her on a pedestal, she won't put you into the "nice guy" category, which is a good thing. Why? Because a "nice guy" doesn't have the guts or confidence to talk to her in this manner. If you can, as you say, "harrass" or tease around and come off as humorous and funny, that does show confidence, because many attractive women aren't used to being treated like that by anyone except those men who do feel that they are good enough to be with her. And this display of confidence can take you a long way, my friend.

But it does sound like you have to work on your confidence. Because if you were confident enough in yourself, you wouldn't care how people saw you.

 

[Hard-Bitten]

lolololol

Yes, body language is a HUGE part, probably the biggest if you are talking about being in a crowded room with strangers. All non-verbal communication is important. Think about who you would want to approach - someone who is having fun, smiling, talking with lots of people, etc. Girls LOVE the idea of fun. They walk into a room and notice the guys that are leading groups (through discussion, story telling, whatever) and having fun. Don't take yourself too seriously either.

Yup! Yup! (=
more then anything... being comfortable with yourself.
Girls love to see guys doing their own thing but at the same time it doesn't hurt to smile. A smile that gives a friendly message not a sly or flirtatious one.