The bisexual ideal

[Spartacus]

The bisexual ideal


Version 1.1, August 2007

I never had a bisexual girlfriend but have always been intrigued by the constgellation. I have once known a foreigner married to a Filipina whom he identified as lesbian. He divorced her, what I thought was a stupid thing to do.

I think that for any woman, to have an intriguing personality is an immense plus.I could find myself for hours every day, imagining what goes on in the head of a woman I love. It keeps me focused on her. And I could not imagine anything intriguing me more than the woman I love being in love with another woman (and sharing her with me).

I have been contemplating this constellation before.

I imagine that a female bisexual orientation would suit a man with a high sexual market value because it would be least likely to conflict with such a man's desire for sexual relationships with a variety of women.

Under normal circumstances, with only straight women involved, a man with a high sexual market value will perceive a girl or woman not just as an object of desire, but also as a potential enemy.

Once he has initiated a sexual relationship, and independently of how much he enjoys their relationship, and independently even of how much he loves her, and of how long the relationship persists, an man with a high sexual market value will usually be aware of the fact that the straight female will want to monopolize him, and may turn amazingly aggressive once she becomes aware of the fact that her man pursues sexual relationships with other women.

However, if the female who is a sexual partner of such a man with a high sexual market value has a bisexual orientation, slightly preferring female sexual partners over male sexual partners, this conflict is elegantly avoided.

In such a setting, the male's promiscuous orientation can be a conduit for the female partner to gain herself access to females who would otherwise be beyond reach.

In such a setting, the male and his bisexual female partner can become more than just lovers. They can become genuine friends and partners, because they have the same interests. In all other settings, even marriages, men and women do not have the same interests as each wants to monopolize the other, while claiming liberties for himself (or herself).

 

[Spartacus]

if you've ever dated a bisexual gal you understand this

 

[Spartacus]

continued;

I assume that few women of a bisexual orientation, especially in traditional Asian societies, are aware of the fact that their sexual orientation is a great asset when it comes towards finding a husband of exceptional quality (both intellectually and with respect to wealth).

Of course, most men in traditional societies lack the intellectual horizon to see the sexual orientation of bisexual women as an asset. The may think that such an orientation is abnormal, or that it is immoral, when in fact, it is the finest possible character a woman can have.

 

[Spartacus]

What women want


Version 1.0, August 2007

Conventional wisdom is that men want sex, and women want resources and commitment.

Evolutionary biologists have done questionary-based studies in many countries of the world, and found this to be a universal pattern.

Conventional wisdom sees this as the 'nature' of women, and claims that women just are less interested in sex.

And evolutionary biology has concluded that the female preference for resources and commitment, as well as an reduced interest in sex, are genetically encoded parameters.

I have high respect for biology as a science, and have an open ear for conventional wisdom.

But when it comes to female sexuality, the conclusions of the above-cited conventional wisdom and evolutionary biology are just crap.

Women need sexual satisfaction just as men do. And for atheist women with a high degree of self-cognition, sexual satisfaction is, just as for men, the only reasonable endeavor worth living for.

So, why did conventional wisdom and evolutionary biology get is so wrong on female sexuality?

The keywords in any answer to this question are safety, risk, and sexual market value.

A low level of safety and a high level of risk have an enormously dampening effect, not on sexual desire, but on sexual conduct. The same is true for circumstances that cause a rapid decline in sexual market value.

Women are not less sexual than men. They have just become experts in hiding and surpressing their sexuality, because for women for millenia, the natural and social environment has always been less advatageous than for men.

Women have always been, and still are, more likely to need protection.

When humans were hunters and gatherers, women (especially when they were pregnant) could not run as fast as men when attacted by predators.

When humans lived in early civilizations, and invented weapons, women were less capable to defend themselves on their own.

And in modern societies with high crime rates, women are much more likely than men to get gang-raped.

If we were to place men into environments of corresponding risk levels, the pattern of male sexuality would also change. The effect of a lack of safety is the same for men and women: a preference for more monogamous relationships that provide safety in addition to, or even instead of, sexual pleasure.

But it's not just worries about being attacked (by lions, enemy soldiers, or rape gangs) that impact on the sexual preferences of women.

For women throughout the ages, having sex has always been associated with the risk of pregnancy. Even from a casual encounter, they could get fertilized, and the course of their lives could be shaped entirely from the consequences of such a single sexual encounter. The man in the same encounter could just forget about it the hour after it has happened.

But pregnancy has a major impact not only because a woman will be burdened with a child. It also causes a sharp decline in the sexual market value of a woman, as a pregnancy causes numerous physical changes to the body of a woman which undoubtedly reduce her beauty and sex appeal.

Yet another aspect that causes women to be more careful with sexual encounters is reputational pressure. In many countries, women are badly punished for living out their sexuality in occasional encounters. In most other countries, girls and women who do, are bad-mouthed.

Most men, even many conventional wisemen and scientists, are fools who fail to understand women. They should imagine being in the risk situation of women, and watch the effect on their sexual conduct. Gone would be the nonchalance with which they pursue sexual adventures.

The fact is, women have an enormous sex drive, not just when they are married or in their 30s, but even as teenagers. Girls and women have a sex drive which easily matches the one of boys and men.

I have always been a feminist. I have always supported any political measure inclined to create safer societies so that women do not need specific men as protectors. I have always supported the right of women not to become pregnant. I always defended women against being decried as loose for pursuing sexual adventures.

And all of this not because it would have been, and is, politically correct but for a very practical reason: female sexual liberation would greately benefits me.

I an not afraid to compete with other men for the best women in societies in which women can choose men based on sexual attraction.

It's the low-quality men who favor social orders in which women are either allocated in accordance to religious traditions, or in which female sexual expression is a high-risk behavior. Low-quality men are against the sexual liberation of women because they would not be selected by any.

 

[Razorguns]

most women are 'bisexual until retirement' or 'bisexual until graduation'

for most women, that's when they hit 30 - or get married - or get fat.

once they 'retire' - it takes an act of god, mainly to please their man, to do anything with a woman. hence: a phase.

anne heche, angelina, all had phases.

 

[Mickey36]

continued;

I assume that few women of a bisexual orientation, especially in traditional Asian societies, are aware of the fact that their sexual orientation is a great asset when it comes towards finding a husband of exceptional quality (both intellectually and with respect to wealth).

Of course, most men in traditional societies lack the intellectual horizon to see the sexual orientation of bisexual women as an asset. The may think that such an orientation is abnormal, or that it is immoral, when in fact, it is the finest possible character a woman can have.

Very well stated Spartacus. I am bisexual and me and my husband are the best of friends and have absolutely no secrets from each other. We feel like we can always tell each other everything and nothing is taboo. I am never worried about him cheating on me as he can do it with me and he is not worried about the same.

 

[BNG]

Very well stated Spartacus. I am bisexual and me and my husband are the best of friends and have absolutely no secrets from each other. We feel like we can always tell each other everything and nothing is taboo. I am never worried about him cheating on me as he can do it with me and he is not worried about the same.

Maybe you have no idea how rare you are in this "modern" society. I'd dare say most women get jealous over nothing. It's almost sick.

 

[Mickey36]

Maybe you have no idea how rare you are in this "modern" society. I'd dare say most women get jealous over nothing. It's almost sick.

I think it goes both ways as I see just as many, if not more, men getting jealous over nothing as well. My husband and I happen to have a common factor that we both enjoy women. You cannot force a woman to feel this way as I was always attracted to women. I think everything can be solved with open communication and mutual understanding. If you both support each other and understand each other, then almost anything can be worked out. We are each other's priority and we try to make each other as happy as possible even if that means going out of societal norms.

Cheers,

Mickey

 

[BNG]

I think it goes both ways as I see just as many, if not more, men getting jealous over nothing as well. My husband and I happen to have a common factor that we both enjoy women. You cannot force a woman to feel this way as I was always attracted to women. I think everything can be solved with open communication and mutual understanding. If you both support each other and understand each other, then almost anything can be worked out. We are each other's priority and we try to make each other as happy as possible even if that means going out of societal norms.

Cheers,

Mickey

Point taken, mea culpa. The rest of what you say is what is so incredible. You are both comfortable with yourselves enough not to be jealous. You actually talk to each other about everything. These are not the norms that I see. There are more lies told, deceptions made, things hidden from spouses, and yet still people wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Spart is pretty much on the money for someone who's not in the situation you are. Your view is much different than someone who's not of the same mind, and has not experienced what you have.

 

[Mickey36]

Point taken, mea culpa. The rest of what you say is what is so incredible. You are both comfortable with yourselves enough not to be jealous. You actually talk to each other about everything. These are not the norms that I see. There are more lies told, deceptions made, things hidden from spouses, and yet still people wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Spart is pretty much on the money for someone who's not in the situation you are. Your view is much different than someone who's not of the same mind, and has not experienced what you have.

Maybe after law school, I will write a book on non-societal relationships and the powers of understanding and friendships. LOL. Or probably a best seller would be "How to get your Wife to get you Women". LOL. Many of my husbands friends have asked me to get their wives to have my point of view. I always tell them that it is a two way street, they have to be as non-selfish, supporting, and caring as their wives would be. Hopefully as people evolve, they start understanding that they have to allow each other to be who they want to be and not try to make them what you want them to be. It is an awesome experience to be able to know that you can experience anything that life has to offer and you have a partner right beside you experiencing it along with you.