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Tell me the worst sex you ever had.
- Thread starter AAP
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Apöllo
Guest
Worst sex? I guess those would be times when I didn't reach climax. Other than that my sex life is awesome. And stress the word "awesome".
Now you`re showing off big guy. lol
I`ll tell you about the ABSOLUTE worst sex imaginable. Wait... Is my wife looking over my shoulder? forget it...
I`ll tell you about the ABSOLUTE worst sex imaginable. Wait... Is my wife looking over my shoulder? forget it...
Deus Ex Machina
New member
AAP said:
lol, isn't that your fault if you can't climax?
tell us the pube story.
50 cent version. I had been doing the phone booty thing with this chick from AOL for a few months. I just like hearing chicks have a good screaming O, so sue me. I'm in Atlanta and she's in Nevada somefreakinwhere. Now, I know this girl's not Paris Hilton thin but she's on the damn phone so what do I care? Lo and behold, she finds a reason to be in Atlanta one weekend so we agree to get together for a lil freak nasty. I'm thinkin she's prolly 5'7", 170'ish. That's do-able...brothas like 'em big anyway. I go pick her up...HOLY MOLY....how did she miss the NFL draft? This girl's 230 lbs if she's an ounce. I'm about 210 at this point so she's got me beat for sure. I promise you I actually turned one foot to run but I think that's just too too cold. Plus I already got my mind set on some sex so I'm in it for the long haul. Actually took her to Cirque du Soleil then to my place for some bonin. I gotta admit she f*cked like a champ but I never called her back. We were supposed to hook up the next night too but I couldn't go another round with the female George Foreman. Nice blowjob, wouldn't swallow, loved it down the ole dirt road, I spanked holy hell outta that big booty too.
A
Apöllo
Guest
Dial_tone said:
FUCK
Buddy_Christ
New member
i tried as hard as i could to make it good for this one chick that was horrible in bed. every time she'd just lay there and squeak. one day i let her get on top of me, and that had to be, without a doubt, the absolute worst i've ever had it. somehow she confused the look of pain on my face for pleasure. i let the torture continue for maybe 10 minutes. all i was thinking was "i hope she gets off soon, cause i can't take much more of this" only to find out later that she wasn't trying to get herself off, she was trying to get me off! i ended up getting on top of her and faked an orgasim just to get the whole thing over with.
had her on all 4 one day and i had leaned down, was going to be a nice guy and kiss the back of her neck while railing her. she didn't know how close my head was to hers....she threw her head back and smacked the back of her head into my forehead....HARD. her head dropped into the pillow and i knew she was hurting, but i started really pounding the shit out of her for a few more minutes til she made me stop cause her head was hurting so bad. i was in a race to get off before she made me stop
this chick was just an alternative to jerking off for me. that's the only reason i'd let her hang around at my place for the weekend. if i didn't feel like nailing her one weekend, i'd make up an excuse as to why she couldn't come up. there were times she'd be at my place for the weekend and i'd go into the other room to jerk off instead of having sex with her. she knew exactly what i was doing too, as i'd announce i was going to go jerk off...yet she'd STILL call me up mid-week and ask if she could spend the weekend with me! took her almost 3 months to realize that she was only an alternative to masturbation for me, but i had pretty much made that clear for her by week 3 with my actions around her.
i love sex just as much as the next guy, but this girl was just THAT bad that i said no to sex with her more than i said yes.
had her on all 4 one day and i had leaned down, was going to be a nice guy and kiss the back of her neck while railing her. she didn't know how close my head was to hers....she threw her head back and smacked the back of her head into my forehead....HARD. her head dropped into the pillow and i knew she was hurting, but i started really pounding the shit out of her for a few more minutes til she made me stop cause her head was hurting so bad. i was in a race to get off before she made me stop
this chick was just an alternative to jerking off for me. that's the only reason i'd let her hang around at my place for the weekend. if i didn't feel like nailing her one weekend, i'd make up an excuse as to why she couldn't come up. there were times she'd be at my place for the weekend and i'd go into the other room to jerk off instead of having sex with her. she knew exactly what i was doing too, as i'd announce i was going to go jerk off...yet she'd STILL call me up mid-week and ask if she could spend the weekend with me! took her almost 3 months to realize that she was only an alternative to masturbation for me, but i had pretty much made that clear for her by week 3 with my actions around her.
i love sex just as much as the next guy, but this girl was just THAT bad that i said no to sex with her more than i said yes.
Buddy_Christ
New member
Dial_tone said:
so you learned an important lesson in getting a good picture of them beforehand i hope.
pitbullstl
New member
Sophmore year of college............I met the most amazingly hot girl (next to my wife) I have ever seen.........she's done playboy twice for the Big 12 thingy..........but believe me this was of no consequence, as she was the worlds worst fuck. This bitch would just lay there and close her eyes.......literally FUCKING CLOSE HER FUCKING EYES.......until I blew......oh yeah I blew alright..........but that was only due to the fact that she was amazingly hot.......and a shitload of test........
The weird thing is she was so sexually aggressive before we would actually get down to it......licking my ear in the bar....displaying the fact that she wasn't wearing underwear................weird...........plain fucking weird..........
She ran up the stairs to my room........lit candles.....stripped off her clothes.......and laid on my bed.......I thought I would bust before I even touched her........but the minute I got near her......she went all limp noodle on me........and CLOSED HER FUCKING EYES..................weird ass hot girls............
The weird thing is she was so sexually aggressive before we would actually get down to it......licking my ear in the bar....displaying the fact that she wasn't wearing underwear................weird...........plain fucking weird..........
She ran up the stairs to my room........lit candles.....stripped off her clothes.......and laid on my bed.......I thought I would bust before I even touched her........but the minute I got near her......she went all limp noodle on me........and CLOSED HER FUCKING EYES..................weird ass hot girls............
Buddy_Christ
New member
prolly thought she was so damn hot she didn't have to do a damn thing and that you were responsible for all the work.
Buddy_Christ
New member
Dial_tone said:
i know the feeling. damn false advertising
but the fatties got one thing going for them...they'll do anything you want. my theory on that is that they never know when they're going to get dick again, so they'll do anything they can to give you incentive to come back to them for more.
Buddy_Christ
New member
AAP said:
i think i did actually. squeak is one way to describe it, chirp would be another. kind of like a combo of both. do you think that maybe i fucked one of PIGEON-RAT's relatives?
AAP said:
It's not just the gay world that works that way
pitbullstl, I HATE those chicks. The hottest girl I've ever been with looks-wise was like that...worst screw ever. Wouldn't give me a bj claiming she didn't know me well enough.....we just got thru f*cking, for chrissakes! How much closer can we get? She ended up getting pregnant by another guy in the office 6 months later and having the baby w/o him.
coldblue1955
New member
well right now i'm just doing self sex. not as good as with a partner.AAP said:
Re: Re: Tell me the worst sex you ever had.
What you doing up so late on a school night?
And you better watch out. Mom gonna find those tissues.
I ain't even going to imagine what you using for visual stimulation. Probably DC Universe or something.
coldblue1955 said:well right now i'm just doing self sex. not as good as with a partner.
What you doing up so late on a school night?
And you better watch out. Mom gonna find those tissues.
I ain't even going to imagine what you using for visual stimulation. Probably DC Universe or something.
Buddy_Christ
New member
ZKaudio said:
bad sex with a guy would be applicable to this thread.
however, if you've had bad sex with your hand or with a blow-up doll, i'm not sure if we need to know about it.
Testosterone boy
New member
I have disengaged due to lack of interest a few times. Nothing invested....not much lost.ZKaudio said:
I seem to have more energy and focus with less sex. Go figure.
Last June a co-worker who models part-time hooked me up with one of her modelling colleagues, a mid-30s Jewish MILF, recently divorced. After a sushi dinner where she didn't smile or laugh at any of my jokes and I thought I was gonna be lucky to get a handshake at the door of the restaurant, she dragged me to her place for an hour or so of amazingly passionless sex.
Then as I was leaving she had the nerve to ask me for a ride to the airport early the next morning, and like a fool I said I would. But I forgot and overslept.
Then as I was leaving she had the nerve to ask me for a ride to the airport early the next morning, and like a fool I said I would. But I forgot and overslept.
ZKaudio said:
lol, only after a back day...when the callouses are all shredeed up
GoldenDelicious
New member
in the back of a car with a really tall girl. it was a big backseat, but damn her legs were so long she couldnt straighten them even corner to corner. took her stillettos off before she put a hole in the roof, but i ended up having to bicep curl her the whole time for things to move ahead if you know what i mean. it was a great workout, but shocking sex.
in the end i was sick of the whole thing and called it off mid session. it still ticks over in my mind now and again
ah the joys of having people stay over your place and take the joint over
in the end i was sick of the whole thing and called it off mid session. it still ticks over in my mind now and again
ah the joys of having people stay over your place and take the joint over
I was fairly drunk at a party in college. I ended up going home with some guy. What an utter waste of time. It was beyond mediocre....it was boring. Incredibly boring. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Then when I left he mentioned not to say anything because he had a girlfriend. I felt bad for her.
I have honestly had more exciting nail clippings.
I have honestly had more exciting nail clippings.
I was in the back of my moms Honda civic parked behind the public library. I had been hooking up with this girl on and off for seven months and she loved to screw. She was a steady performer, watched porn, loved to swallow and try everything all the time.
The civic was a hatchback and I had dropped the back seats and laid out a blanket. We had the windows steamed up good and she started complaining that she had to pee. We kept going and both finished. She was sitting on me when I told her she must have cum a lot because I could feel the warm wetness. No. She was peeing on me. Started tearing up and crying that she couldn’t hold it anymore.
Odd thing was, it felt good.
The civic was a hatchback and I had dropped the back seats and laid out a blanket. We had the windows steamed up good and she started complaining that she had to pee. We kept going and both finished. She was sitting on me when I told her she must have cum a lot because I could feel the warm wetness. No. She was peeing on me. Started tearing up and crying that she couldn’t hold it anymore.
Odd thing was, it felt good.
I was talkin to this soccer chick last summer who broke up with her boyfriend for me only to find out i couldn't stand her a couple weeks later.
She had a huge birthday party outdoors on some land and by this time I was already sick of her so I was just going to be respectful and get crunk. Towards the end of the party a younger, hotter 17 year old asked me to walk her home and stay the night and I'd been wanting to bang her for a while so I naturally said yes and started walking. Next thing I know that crybaby is bawling on my friends shoulder about me ignorning her.
Soo, I couldn't go home with the other chick or I'd look like the asshole so I just stuck around for a while. The party didn't end til around 5 am and i finally tried ducking out but of course she caught me and hopped in the backseat. She says she can't go home and wants to stay at my place even though she knew I was mad at her. We go up to my apt and she hops on the wang for a few minutes and I was boured outta my mind. She didn't give head, her vagina smelled like she'd ran a marathon that day, and she sounded like a horse. I was gettin at it from behind and next thing you know I pull out and say, "I can't do this anymore." I just remember starin at her butthole and thinking, "fuck this is really gross"
I slept on the couch and she slept in my bed. I took her home that next morning and haven't seen or talked to her since. I had intentions of returning her calls but every day I didn't talk to her got better and better. Eventually it got to the point where it would be too awkward to call her out of the blue. Now I have to ignore her everywhere I go.
yuck, that's the only sex i regret.
She had a huge birthday party outdoors on some land and by this time I was already sick of her so I was just going to be respectful and get crunk. Towards the end of the party a younger, hotter 17 year old asked me to walk her home and stay the night and I'd been wanting to bang her for a while so I naturally said yes and started walking. Next thing I know that crybaby is bawling on my friends shoulder about me ignorning her.
Soo, I couldn't go home with the other chick or I'd look like the asshole so I just stuck around for a while. The party didn't end til around 5 am and i finally tried ducking out but of course she caught me and hopped in the backseat. She says she can't go home and wants to stay at my place even though she knew I was mad at her. We go up to my apt and she hops on the wang for a few minutes and I was boured outta my mind. She didn't give head, her vagina smelled like she'd ran a marathon that day, and she sounded like a horse. I was gettin at it from behind and next thing you know I pull out and say, "I can't do this anymore." I just remember starin at her butthole and thinking, "fuck this is really gross"
I slept on the couch and she slept in my bed. I took her home that next morning and haven't seen or talked to her since. I had intentions of returning her calls but every day I didn't talk to her got better and better. Eventually it got to the point where it would be too awkward to call her out of the blue. Now I have to ignore her everywhere I go.
yuck, that's the only sex i regret.
Mandinka2
New member
Some of you might think I'm strange for not likin this but I was with a gymnast chic from Belgium , I was livin in a shared house at the time. Anyway , she popped the legs behind the head , like ya do and proceeded to yell at me to give to her as hard as I could , so I did , and depite the fact that she was bleedin quite a lot insisted only that I hammer her harder...... my housemates were not entirely pleased at this..... dumped her soon after ....couldnt handle that she liked to be hurt in that manner.... she even offered me her ass as well (which i turned down). Very few partners before me and nice person to boot.
Forge
New member
Mandinka2 said:
I had a GF who was the exact opposite, she wouldn't make a noise during sex. She was hot and a very nice girl, but when it came to sex she was very bashful and made every effort to be as silent as possible. I realized with her that the sounds a girl makes during sex are almost as important to me as the sex itself. I tried to "coach" her into being more free during sex, but it wouldn't work. She was just boring in the sack. We broke up soon after we started banging.
Bikini Mod
New member
I have had some really, really awful sex. The last time was so bad, in fact that I am downright afraid to be intimate with another guy.
The dude's dick wouldn't stay hard unless he was experiencing pain... so much so that the last time we were together he actually screamed at me to bite his cock (He went limp AGAIN so I went down to help things along.) He then yelled, "BITE IT HARDER I SAID!". He didn't have to say it a third time. While I was giving him the BJ from hell (we are talking teeth-scraping so hard it nearly tore the skin... actually now that I think about it, I must have) I bit down, but H-A-R-D and the dude got off immediately.
Then he wanted to continue with really rough sex... something that I am so not into.. at all.
Then there was the time I went out with this amazingly hot younger bodybuilder dude. He couldn't speak too much English and all my friends were telling me that while he was no rocket scientist, he was a nice guy and he really REALLY liked me. So I figured, why not?
(Never ever second-guess myself again.)
When he touched me, he trembled (and not in a good way).
He hadn't clue one how to kiss.
When he rubbed the bean, I think he mistook it for a thumbtack.
His Johnson went limp.
He was even less adept at eating pussy then he was at kissing.
To make matters worse, he felt the need to try and reclaim his manhood by "using the morning wood."
OH GOD IT WAS TERRIBLE!!!!!
I have not had pleasurable sex to the point where I WANTED to actually sleep next to the guy after getting off (If I don't get off then it is always the guy as I get off if the wind is blowing in the proper direction.) for nearly 2 years.
After the "BITE ME HARD" guy, I even stopped shaving my legs.
EEEEEEEEEewwwwwwwwwwwww. It's been so long that I am seriously beginning to gross myself out. But it is winter so why should I go through the effort?
The dude's dick wouldn't stay hard unless he was experiencing pain... so much so that the last time we were together he actually screamed at me to bite his cock (He went limp AGAIN so I went down to help things along.) He then yelled, "BITE IT HARDER I SAID!". He didn't have to say it a third time. While I was giving him the BJ from hell (we are talking teeth-scraping so hard it nearly tore the skin... actually now that I think about it, I must have) I bit down, but H-A-R-D and the dude got off immediately.
Then he wanted to continue with really rough sex... something that I am so not into.. at all.
Then there was the time I went out with this amazingly hot younger bodybuilder dude. He couldn't speak too much English and all my friends were telling me that while he was no rocket scientist, he was a nice guy and he really REALLY liked me. So I figured, why not?
(Never ever second-guess myself again.)
When he touched me, he trembled (and not in a good way).
He hadn't clue one how to kiss.
When he rubbed the bean, I think he mistook it for a thumbtack.
His Johnson went limp.
He was even less adept at eating pussy then he was at kissing.
To make matters worse, he felt the need to try and reclaim his manhood by "using the morning wood."
OH GOD IT WAS TERRIBLE!!!!!
I have not had pleasurable sex to the point where I WANTED to actually sleep next to the guy after getting off (If I don't get off then it is always the guy as I get off if the wind is blowing in the proper direction.) for nearly 2 years.
After the "BITE ME HARD" guy, I even stopped shaving my legs.
EEEEEEEEEewwwwwwwwwwwww. It's been so long that I am seriously beginning to gross myself out. But it is winter so why should I go through the effort?
Delinquent
Well-known member
The time I couldn't remember it. TWICE
Bikini Mod
New member
velvett said:It was so small - I got up and went home.
Is it true what they say about guys with small hands? This is a serious question. If I see a guy with small features (no chin is a total turnoff for me - a guy has got to have a strong jaw line), small hands (even though he is 5'10" or bigger) - I never give the guy a chance subconsciously.
I am terrified that he might have a REALLY REALLY TEENY PEENY and would have to do the same! LOL
Really hyuge guys scare me too... but I am attracted to men who are physically big - broad shoulders, really tall, big hands, etc.
The most amazing sex I have ever had was with a guy that was 6' 4", 240 #.... hardly any body hair (except on his head where it was like a shag carpet), dark skin (had a bit of native American in his blood) who had skillz that were UN-IMAGINABLE!!! There was nothing that this guy could do to turn me off. He did EEEEEEEEEEVERYTHING RIGHT!
*sigh*
I still remember the last time we were together. We were "only friends" (at his request LOL) *wink*... yea, it took him like an extra minute and a 1/2 to get his clothing off because we were stoned. It was late February 2002.
God, I remember that sex like it was yesterday....
*sniff*
The Ranger
New member
AAP said:
Heh heh heh....Ya fucker!
Ranger
Bikini Mod
New member
6" is not small and is more than enough. I am talking so small that it would disappear in the palm of my hand. I don't have very large hands at all. So if your winkie is disappearing....
Turd Ferguson
New member
My wife told me this story about a guy she was dating before me. He had a VERY small one. Like an inch. Funny he was a Body Builder too. ( I'm not one I'm fat ). And my wife said she had to really try hard not to laugh at the guy.
She told me a story where he would talk smak about how big he was. He would like tell her " you want this big old thing " and all the time be holding his stump with two fingers like it's a fire hose.
She told me a story where he would talk smak about how big he was. He would like tell her " you want this big old thing " and all the time be holding his stump with two fingers like it's a fire hose.
Bikini Mod
New member
Turd Ferguson said:
The image this conjuress up in my mind is nearly as funny as that scene from "Waiting to Exhale" where some hefty dude rolls off of Robin Givens like totally patting himself on the back for his "performance" and she thinks out loud, "Does he just think he DID something?!"
Too damned funny!
jh1
New member
Turd Ferguson said:
Personally I prefer to my girls to not talk about other guys penises whether they were larger or smaller than mine... I don't do well picturing my girl ready to accept another man in her...
But, on this same note - Turd Ferguson - tell your wife to stop talking about my penis. It is NOT small, she is just trying to make you feel better.
Testosterone boy
New member
I banged a girl that didn't turn me on because I felt obliged. She got us a condo in Steamboat and I simply had no excuse. A very long week end.
Live and learn....always at least get a recent pic before shacking up. Thats was years ago.
Also learned that breakfast in bed is not enjoyable..I felt like a pig.
Maybe I need oral before sex to really properly enjoy it?
Live and learn....always at least get a recent pic before shacking up. Thats was years ago.
Also learned that breakfast in bed is not enjoyable..I felt like a pig.
Maybe I need oral before sex to really properly enjoy it?
Turd Ferguson
New member
Different one JH1. Your's is average she said. I don't agree with her. From what I saw you may need to get the Autin Powers Sweedish Penis Pump and book.
Testosterone boy
New member
Do girls put any credibility at all on internet claims of a mans size?
I have two things are equally fun. Claiming to have a monster and claiming to have almost nothing at all.
Claiming the proper size is just............improper. It takes the comedic element out of it.
I have two things are equally fun. Claiming to have a monster and claiming to have almost nothing at all.
Claiming the proper size is just............improper. It takes the comedic element out of it.
Bikini Mod
New member
Lumberg said:
LOL
If you are going to be bad in the sack, then why on earth would you even go through the effort to get her their?
I am not saying that I need to "cuddle". I shudder at the thought of it. I would just like to be able to not feel like "What am I doing here? I took my clothing off for this?!" again. I have never had bad sex with a man that I wanted to wake up next to in the morning. So I guess that I am just correlating the two.
Turd Ferguson
New member
<---------------------------- 's Wife didn't need monicle to see mine. But I'm average.
Jerkbox I would have agree it needs to look pretty
Bikini Mod
New member
velvett said:
Honestly I could care less if a man even owns a penis anymore...
If he has a tongue and knows how to use it, I could overlook nearly any flaw!
Worst was about 3 years ago guy finshed fast and then couldn't get hard again.
supersizeme
New member
Worst sex I've ever had unfortunately happened during one of my very few one night stands. I was at an upscale bar a few years ago near downtown with some buddies of mine. I walked by these two Hispanic women and one of them pulled me over and asked how a white boy acquired an ass like that. I told them "squats" and then did the booty clap(this is a lie). I hung out with the two of them the rest of the night - Juanita and Arcie. Arcie was way hotter than Juanita, but Juanita was the more aggressive one so I paid more attention to her. The three of us left the club together, and I followed them back to their place. We stopped off at a gas station on the way to their place, and Juanita stuck her head out the window and asked if I had what "they needed"(meaning condoms). I was like, sure do, as I had been wearing a condom all night just in case some random all-out fucking broke out in the middle of the bar.
We ended up back at their place and I don't know how I managed to not realize this was a threesome waiting to happen, but I just thought it was Juanita who was down with it. Arcie went to bed and Juanita and I proceded to go at it there on Arcie's living room floor. I'm pretty sure that her living room substituted as a kiln for cooking clay because I was drenched in sweat by about 5 minutes into it. Juanita was probably in her mid 30s with 25,000 children, and her vagina verified this for me. I have honestly never had my penis in anything this loose before. I couldn't even really tell you for sure whether or not I penetrated her. So it was basically me doing a lot of thrusting and sweating on her and not much orgasming. It probably lasted about 10 minutes before I collapsed from heat exhaustion and then went home.
Then I got pulled over on the way home at 5am and was almost taken to jail because I had a warrant out for my arrest for a JAY WALKING ticket that I never paid. But fortunately it was close enough to the end of the cop's shift that he didn't want to deal with the paperwork, and he let me go.
We ended up back at their place and I don't know how I managed to not realize this was a threesome waiting to happen, but I just thought it was Juanita who was down with it. Arcie went to bed and Juanita and I proceded to go at it there on Arcie's living room floor. I'm pretty sure that her living room substituted as a kiln for cooking clay because I was drenched in sweat by about 5 minutes into it. Juanita was probably in her mid 30s with 25,000 children, and her vagina verified this for me. I have honestly never had my penis in anything this loose before. I couldn't even really tell you for sure whether or not I penetrated her. So it was basically me doing a lot of thrusting and sweating on her and not much orgasming. It probably lasted about 10 minutes before I collapsed from heat exhaustion and then went home.
Then I got pulled over on the way home at 5am and was almost taken to jail because I had a warrant out for my arrest for a JAY WALKING ticket that I never paid. But fortunately it was close enough to the end of the cop's shift that he didn't want to deal with the paperwork, and he let me go.
jh1
New member
Beached Whale said:
Honestly I could care less if a man even owns a penis anymore...
If he has a tongue and knows how to use it, I could overlook nearly any flaw!
Yeah... I wish I had a girl like that... my ex didn't like me to go down on her and BJs were far and few between...
I could do with just oral
BO-DEN
New member
pitbullstl said:Sophmore year of college............I met the most amazingly hot girl (next to my wife) I have ever seen.........she's done playboy twice for the Big 12 thingy..........but believe me this was of no consequence, as she was the worlds worst fuck. This bitch would just lay there and close her eyes.......literally FUCKING CLOSE HER FUCKING EYES.......until I blew......oh yeah I blew alright..........but that was only due to the fact that she was amazingly hot.......and a shitload of test........
The weird thing is she was so sexually aggressive before we would actually get down to it......licking my ear in the bar....displaying the fact that she wasn't wearing underwear................weird...........plain fucking weird..........
She ran up the stairs to my room........lit candles.....stripped off her clothes.......and laid on my bed.......I thought I would bust before I even touched her........but the minute I got near her......she went all limp noodle on me........and CLOSED HER FUCKING EYES..................weird ass hot girls............
iv had VERY simular experience
BO-DEN
Mr. Black said:
If some girl called my johnson pretty I would not be impressed
Ok handsome!
OMGWTFBBQ
brobe
I can honestly say that the only bad sex has been the stuff I've been giving out because I haven't had any towards me... that I can remember.
I went down on a girl while I was drunk, fell off the edge of the bed, smashed my face into her poontang and my teeth tore through the skin that holds the top lip and then the bleeding.
I was too drunk to care... ugh, I don't even want to think about it.
That chick was neither hot nor thin - but she had big boobs and was relatively hairy, so she had that going for her.
But yeah, as long as that doesn't count, then its all been fantastic (for me - I'm sure I dished out a whole lot of useless a bunch of times).
I went down on a girl while I was drunk, fell off the edge of the bed, smashed my face into her poontang and my teeth tore through the skin that holds the top lip and then the bleeding.
I was too drunk to care... ugh, I don't even want to think about it.
That chick was neither hot nor thin - but she had big boobs and was relatively hairy, so she had that going for her.
But yeah, as long as that doesn't count, then its all been fantastic (for me - I'm sure I dished out a whole lot of useless a bunch of times).
Mr. Black
New member
My worst sex story had to do more with the oral side of things. I had just started dating this little cutie and we were going at it & went down on her. Well I had ripped her panites off in the dark and dove in licking and slurping away quite enjoying enjoying msyelf. She was still a little shy and unfortunately I did not recieve aything in return...yet. Any rate it was time to driver her home and I flicked on my black nights to find her panties. Well once I found them, i noticed they were covered in a dark sticky fluid. Hmmm as I inspected a little closer and did a double take looking back to her spread eagled pussy, it was covered in menstrual blood! Not wanting to embarass her further by barfing all over her, I ran to the bathroom in the dark and scrubbed my face and gargled listerine for quite some time. Now that's how you earn your red wings
Lumberg
New member
Beached Whale said:
so I could cum in her pussy?
seriously.
Mr. Black I had almost the same experience. I ate my gf out in the dark.
Then I went to go take a piss and in the macabre half-light in the bathroom I saw myself in the mirror and was like...huh? I don't have a goatee!
I turned on the light to see that the "goatee" was actually menstrual blood. Neither of us had realized she had just started her period.
I thought it was funny. It didn't taste any different than normal.
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