It doesn't embarrass me and I wasn't calling you an asshole, I was calling Johnny an asshole. I've always had problems communicating with you, and that's my fault I guess.
I've been teased for being an alcoholic, mental disorders I don't have, meds I'm not taking and not taking, the shape and size of my breasts, being in the 1%, Applebees, all types of things I never put out there on the forum, those things are not even true about me, I've done my best to go with the flow with the teasing and stuff and even try and make fun of myself at times. But, if I'm making fun of myself for those things, I'm baiting him. I can't win.
And QT, I don't understand why you're being catty with me; I'm not trying to argue, cause conflict with you, tell you how to do your job here or otherwise cause any conflict with you. I had one deleted post in here that said "I guess thats not how it goes" or something along those lines that I deleted, but that was typed out impulsively which I deleted right away. I just told you how great of a mod you were the other day, and I like you personally, though I'm getting the vibe you don't like me personally, that's okay. Give me some time, I think you will, hopefully you will. I'm not an angel, I'm not perfect, but I'm not all bad. Look QT, I know and have read a lot about psychology, some college courses but mostly, a lot of what I post about is personal experience with the mentally ill, and from experience with my faith and encounters with people in the church. I am interested in people and like analyzing behavior, and I'm not going to lie, I know a lot about this stuff, though I am not a professional I'm not doing some google search, and I don't know why you'd assume I post about things I read on the internet to try to discredit my opinion, though I have read some things on the internet, I don't think its fair to discredit my experience and opinion totally. Its my opinion, and my experience. Its as valid as any other member here, people don't have to agree with me on everything and they don't have to like my posts. I've been around long enough people can take or leave what I have to say as just the ramblings of some ditz if they want to.
Ceo, there was nothing, NOTHING that I posed at all until this thread. All the stuff found was from March and before; today is May first. You are saying I'm not ignoring him when I am. How can you say when I make a post and delete it right away that I'm not trying to ignore him and not stir up shit?
I guess this is the bottom line; this is a fitness site and not worth all this. I spoke to Ledhead yesterday and I agree with him, its totally silly, stupid and ridiculous that I care if you guys believe me or not and let it get me down. Its just not worth it. If he comes back he'll tell you, I was really bummed out that I couldn't get through to you my intention wasn't some huge drama conspiracy, which you've suspected for awhile now and I wasn't aware of that until today. Lol, I think he got a little jealous that I cared at all, and I he as well as myself is a little disturbed that I'm letting the internet get to me so much, I'm a normal person and not a shut in, but I do care, I have made friends here and the bonds are already formed. I don't know what to do, leave? You told me yourself you were not reading his threads, so you're only reading my posts and coming to conclusions about my intentions to start and keep up drama? He is the one making entire threads about me, quoting my posts and posting in my threads as an attempt to harass me.. He can not bait me personally, I've managed not to say anything to him when he does that, but other members here have been able to manage to get me to take the bait, and that's where I've gotten myself in trouble. How is that a huge conspiracy? I think its clear what my intentions are, and I'm sorry and bothered that you can't see that and just brush me off as being overly dramatic instead of listening to me and believing me when I say some things he is doing creep me out. I can't legitimately be be weirded out, it has to be something more sinister, I have to be "rallying the troops" instead of what I'm telling you I'm feeling about the situation. Thats what I can't get around. No one is seeing me from my real perspective just the intentions of some scorned ex girlfriend making wild accusations, those accusations I honestly believe to be true.
Remember, I didn't put out any of the stuff that would get sympathy for me on the forum. I would never use that stuff to get pity from anyone. People saw with their own eyes and read what he did. I didn't have to do or say a thing.
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