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Question For The Females

puddlemonkey

puddlemonkey

thou shalt not shill
EF VIP
I have a question for the ladies. Lets say you were with a guy sexually for the first time. You've met a few times prior but never slept together until now. Everything seemed to go well that night, some fun and sexual foreplay, there were a range of positions used, kitties got licked, etc. Now lets say the guy isn't getting off, and he knows its not going to happen. Would you rather he:


A: Fake the orgasm convincingly enough to where you have no idea he didn't climax.

Or

B: Just stop and tell you not to worry about it that its not that big of deal.



Reason I ask is I faked an orgasm for the second time in my life last night and I feel pretty shitty about it. My intentions were good, I didn't want her to feel bad or awkward, yet I can't help feel I should have been straightforward and honest.
 
And before anyone makes the claim that guys can't fake it yes they can. Its not that hard with a condom since there is no mess (just be sure she doesn't see you take it off), and an experienced guy should have enough control of the muscles below to emulate that pumping/climaxing movement.
 
The first time my chick blew me it took like 15 min., she was like WTF?!?!?! In my head I'm like "You really suck at this.", then she proceeded not to spit or swallow, just watch me blow my load all over my stomach.

Good times.
 
HumanTarget said:
i can only cum if i have a shower curtain rod lodged in my ass...
Click to expand...


LOL WTF OMG BBQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I would chose B


But it still baffles me how can a man fake an orgasm, isnt the girl gonna notice that there was nothing "unloaded"?
 
foreigngirl said:
I would chose B


But it still baffles me how can a man fake an orgasm, isnt the girl gonna notice that there was nothing "unloaded"?
Click to expand...
women are too busy thinking about themselves to notice....
 
foreigngirl said:
I would chose B


But it still baffles me how can a man fake an orgasm, isnt the girl gonna notice that there was nothing "unloaded"?
Click to expand...


I've now done it twice to perfection. Clearly it wouldn't work unless a condom was involved. And its not tough to contract the muscles over and over again to emulate that "unloading".
 
Faizakafez said:
easy answer go with a)

shooting blanks is common among older men
Click to expand...

Blanks usually refers to viable semen count, not the amount of ejaculate.


My ejaculate for the 3rd round is unnoticable anyway unless your looking right at my cak....

1st round... well shit, that's another story.
 
I usually do B if its going to be a problem but that always seems to fuck with a girl mentally, she starts to question if she's attractive or what she did wrong. I don't doubt for a second that the problem is me, I think there might be such a thing as too much meaningless sex for a guy :(
 
One of the girls responded in a k message, that works too if you don't want to post it openly. I would like to hear from more women though.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
One of the girls responded in a k message, that works too if you don't want to post it openly. I would like to hear from more women though.
Click to expand...



LOL... thanks for sending that to me....
 
PuddleMonkey said:
I've now done it twice to perfection. Clearly it wouldn't work unless a condom was involved. And its not tough to contract the muscles over and over again to emulate that "unloading".
Click to expand...


Just sneak a luggie up there and call it a night...jeezzz, Put your thinking cap on
 
Just tell her "tonight is all about you baby" as to why you don't want to get off.




or just think of goats. That always gets me off.
 
B.....faking it is to silly. Any mature adult women would not get offended at all.
Lying about it is a huge turn off. And I never had a guy fake it with me
 
I remember the first time I was with a man who didn't even want to have intercourse right away. He just wanted to please me and make me cum. Was wierd, never happened before. But then again I was also taught that women are there for the man's pleasure and since the wind blew and I got off it was no biggie...

Then as I became more experienced I realized that there are times when either party cant get off if they are nervous, if they have issues in their head, etc and it is no big deal. So DONT LIE, just say that you are happy that she came and that is enough for you. You are REALLY into her and want to delay your climax for as long as possible because it makes it so much better when you do cum.

If you lie then she wont feel compelled to work extra hard in the next round.

*hint* *hint*

Payback is ALWAYS better if you set it up this way when you are with a normal chick and not one that has to file her nails or asks you not to muss her hair while you fuck her lifeless corpse.
 
Just fake it and preserve my ego if there is nothing I could have done about it anyway.

What I hate is the guy who will go on for 2 freaking hours because his junk isn't operating properly.
 
heatherrae said:
Just fake it and preserve my ego if there is nothing I could have done about it anyway.

What I hate is the guy who will go on for 2 freaking hours because his junk isn't operating properly.
Click to expand...


Ego? I would not take it like it was the woman's fault, I would take it as it's the mans shortcomings (excuse the pun) ;-)
 
blueta2 said:
B.....faking it is to silly. Any mature adult women would not get offended at all.
Lying about it is a huge turn off.
Click to expand...

I appreciate the comments. In my experiences though there has never been a time where I was honest about it and it didn't depress the girl. It's happened a good 6 or 7 times where I didn't try faking it and the girl gets all weird or even to the point of tears. Remember, I'm use to dealing with 19-25 year olds, not 'mature adult women'.



blueta2 said:
And I never had a guy fake it with me
Click to expand...

Of course not! ;)
 
B) Always be honest. If it was something she did, you can tell her this way the same mistake is not made again, and you're not left to finish yourself off!
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Then as I became more experienced I realized that there are times when either party cant get off if they are nervous, if they have issues in their head, etc and it is no big deal.
Click to expand...


Definitely wasn't nervous, not sure I can deny having issues though. I haven't had any emotional connections to a woman in well over a decade.
 
How is it possible for you to get a woman or anything when you can't seem to pull yourself from posting on EF every 3.6 seconds?

Just askin
 
heatherrae said:
Just fake it and preserve my ego if there is nothing I could have done about it anyway.

What I hate is the guy who will go on for 2 freaking hours because his junk isn't operating properly.
Click to expand...


Yeah, been there before (years ago). Not fun for the girl, not fun for me. I'm old enough now to know when to cut my losses and throw in the towel.
 
ortiz34 said:
How is it possible for you to get a woman or anything when you can't seem to pull yourself from posting on EF every 3.6 seconds?

Just askin
Click to expand...


lol ouch! I'm sure if you look yesterday from about 9pm - 1am PST there should be no PuddlyMonkey posts because I was with her around those times.

Bastard!
 
PuddleMonkey said:
lol ouch! I'm sure if you look yesterday from about 9pm - 1am PST there should be no PuddlyMonkey posts because I was with her around those times.

Bastard!
Click to expand...
maybe ef makes men impotent? It's a theory.
 
covergrl80 said:
B) Always be honest. If it was something she did, you can tell her this way the same mistake is not made again, and you're not left to finish yourself off!
Click to expand...


It wasn't really anything she did, she was fine, I seriously think I've had too much meaningless sex in the past and it just isn't doing anything for me anymore. I'll think about some of the oddest shit during sex now.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
It wasn't really anything she did, she was fine, I seriously think I've had too much meaningless sex in the past and it just isn't doing anything for me anymore. I'll think about some of the oddest shit during sex now.
Click to expand...


I still say B. This way she knows you have some issues!!!! LOL
 
covergrl80 said:
I still say B. This way she knows you have some issues!!!! LOL
Click to expand...


lol, that's not nice! Seriously though, I do. I even remember at one point during sex last night thinking, "did I remember to get bananas at the store?"
 
Did you even make the O face when you faked it. How about hit her with some yougurt on her back?

And another thing, why are women always fascinated with the size of a load?
 
PuddleMonkey said:
I have a question for the ladies. Lets say you were with a guy sexually for the first time. You've met a few times prior but never slept together until now. Everything seemed to go well that night, some fun and sexual foreplay, there were a range of positions used, kitties got licked, etc. Now lets say the guy isn't getting off, and he knows its not going to happen. Would you rather he:


A: Fake the orgasm convincingly enough to where you have no idea he didn't climax.

Or

B: Just stop and tell you not to worry about it that its not that big of deal.



Reason I ask is I faked an orgasm for the second time in my life last night and I feel pretty shitty about it. My intentions were good, I didn't want her to feel bad or awkward, yet I can't help feel I should have been straightforward and honest.
Click to expand...

Just stop and not worry about it. Most women would not take it wrong as we know that sometimes too much pressure to perform for a man makes him less likely to perform.
 
rudeboyja said:
Did you even make the O face when you faked it. How about hit her with some yougurt on her back?

And another thing, why are women always fascinated with the size of a load?
Click to expand...
ummmm...we aren't.

Actually, I could care less as long as I got my kitty licked in the deal...lol.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
I appreciate the comments. In my experiences though there has never been a time where I was honest about it and it didn't depress the girl. It's happened a good 6 or 7 times where I didn't try faking it and the girl gets all weird or even to the point of tears. Remember, I'm use to dealing with 19-25 year olds, not 'mature adult women'.

Of course not! ;)
Click to expand...

Well I won't even begin to analyze the male O, but I was a mature 19 yr old and when my b/f could not cum, I was not all freaked. I would be like "cool, wanna go catch a movie"
Maybe it's the type of women you're chosing?!
JUST maybe you're wanting sex with emotion and not just sex?
 
Mickey36 said:
Just stop and not worry about it. Most women would not take it wrong as we know that sometimes too much pressure to perform for a man makes him less likely to perform.
Click to expand...


So lie and tell her I was nervous? I think that lie would have been harder to pull off than the orgasm.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
lol, that's not nice! Seriously though, I do. I even remember at one point during sex last night thinking, "did I remember to get bananas at the store?"
Click to expand...
:worried: You needs a shrink
 
heatherrae said:
ummmm...we aren't.

Actually, I could care less as long as I got my kitty licked in the deal...lol.
Click to expand...


Yes women like to see the condom results and usually have a comment.

meow....
 
PuddleMonkey said:
So lie and tell her I was nervous? I think that lie would have been harder to pull off than the orgasm.
Click to expand...

You don't have to lie. You just tell her that you are not going to be able to cum. She might ask you if there is anything that she can do and if you say no, that is pretty much it. We as girls don't always cum so it is easy to understand that sometimes stuff happens. If she starts asking too many questions than at least you know you probably have an insecure girl.
 
I wish my junk worked "improperly" enough to go for 2 hours..

Option A makes her think she needs to seriously step up her game and her skills
for the next time.. That's always a good thing IMO..
 
rudeboyja said:
Guess they equate it to how well they did their job??
Click to expand...


That isn't gonna mean shit though. If I whacked off earlier that day there wont be much later that night, if its been 3 or 4 days since my last climax then I could fill a coffee cup (not literally).
 
Y_lifter said:
Option A makes her think she needs to seriously step up her game and her skills
for the next time.. That's always a good thing IMO..
Click to expand...


Screwing with her mentally is good? Have you met a woman before? That are fragile and delicate, proceed with caution.
 
rudeboyja said:
Yes women like to see the condom results and usually have a comment.

meow....
Click to expand...
Where are you finding these women? That is downright weird.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
That isn't gonna mean shit though. If I whacked off earlier that day there wont be much later that night, if its been 3 or 4 days since my last climax then I could fill a coffee cup (not literally).
Click to expand...


Take a little HCG and you'll be like a snake in a yogurt spitting contest.
 
these chicks are not smart. don't listen to them. they're mostly UFO's. (undesirable fat objects)
 
heatherrae said:
Where are you finding these women? That is downright weird.
Click to expand...
\

At the candy shop...

You're never commented on a man's deposit?

Weird would be it they looked at it and drank it. Oh yeah I did have someone do that one time. That was a bit much even for me.
 
Sounds to me like the sex wasn't really interesting you for whatever reason that's all. Plenty of ways to make it more interesting. lol at faking it though. No point in doing that.
 
rudeboyja said:
\

At the candy shop...

You're never commented on a man's deposit?

Weird would be it they looked at it and drank it. Oh yeah I did have someone do that one time. That was a bit much even for me.
Click to expand...
I commented once when my bf in college pulled out of the missionary position and it shot all the way up my nose. I still don't know how he managed that. :worried:

I did have this one bf who would only do like two or three drops and it looked as thick as elmers glue. UGH! I still don't know what was wrong with him.
 
heatherrae said:
I did have this one bf who would only do like two or three drops and it looked as thick as elmers glue. UGH! I still don't know what was wrong with him.
Click to expand...


Gonorrhea
 
PuddleMonkey said:
I have a question for the ladies. Lets say you were with a guy sexually for the first time. You've met a few times prior but never slept together until now. Everything seemed to go well that night, some fun and sexual foreplay, there were a range of positions used, kitties got licked, etc. Now lets say the guy isn't getting off, and he knows its not going to happen. Would you rather he:


A: Fake the orgasm convincingly enough to where you have no idea he didn't climax.

Or

B: Just stop and tell you not to worry about it that its not that big of deal.



Reason I ask is I faked an orgasm for the second time in my life last night and I feel pretty shitty about it. My intentions were good, I didn't want her to feel bad or awkward, yet I can't help feel I should have been straightforward and honest.
Click to expand...
puddle you have stated that you like "small bewbs" some would say that is a classic earmark of latent homosexuality. this does not apply in your case because you are a BLATANT homosexual. from a pure psychoanalytic view you are not able to achieve orgasm because a large penis is not in your anus and testicles are not banging against the back of your hand as you masturbate yourself. i am no expert but you might wanna put this in your hash pipe and give it a few tokes.
 
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